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OfflineMurkabm
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How does ego death really feel ??
    #24846666 - 12/14/17 11:19 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I have had many enlightening lsd and shroom trips ..and have learned alot ..but i have always retained a sense of self on my trips..more like a detached  observer with no anxiety ... What exactly is ego death from shrooms or lsd feel like ?


Edited by Murkabm (12/14/17 11:20 PM)


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OfflineEverett P
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Murkabm]
    #24846685 - 12/14/17 11:27 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Its hard to say but you will know and it will last like months.  I never got there until my first dmt break through but it feels like you have physically died I guess and that in that moment u saw what ur true priorities were and there is no more greed or hate or lust u realize that spirit and ur relations to other beings are what really matters in the universe and that u are not just yourself but there is a piece of u in everything I've said too much but u will no friend u will know


--------------------
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Offlinedream.schmatics704
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Everett P]
    #24846700 - 12/14/17 11:37 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

death id say


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist


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Invisiblelighthouse09
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24846709 - 12/14/17 11:43 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I have felt at unity with all things and yea dream schematics kind of like death i did think at one point that if I die right now and id be cool with it. But its very peacfull and chill with no ego.


--------------------
<--This fuckin guy


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Offlinedream.schmatics704
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: lighthouse09]
    #24846720 - 12/14/17 11:49 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

true... youll be in a state of collective consciousness. For me at lest. that can be peaceful and overwhelming at the same time.


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist


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OfflineNortherner
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: dream.schmatics704] * 2
    #24846749 - 12/15/17 12:03 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Depends on the substance.

With LSD and mushrooms it can be smooth as you slowly transition away from all, whereas with DMT there's often a moment of panic as everything is mercilessly ripped away.

Being there is a pure experiential experience. After all, you have nothing else left. Nothing to reflect upon.


--------------------
If only you could see the things he has seen, the technicolour dreams of a plastic changa bear


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OfflineEverett P
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Northerner]
    #24846781 - 12/15/17 12:18 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Well stated sir


--------------------
interested in prints related to treating auto immune such as RA  and lupus thank you pm me have O.I. Prints to trade


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Offlinesunshine
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Northerner]
    #24846782 - 12/15/17 12:18 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I have taken three LSD trips and had a blazing trip on two blotters.  I completely lost consciousness and was running around all over the place.  It felt like acid was splashing on my brain and sizzling it.  When I finally came down I picked up a stick and practiced some staff techniques.
Higher doses of mushrooms never make me black out.  They are some of my most vivid memories.  I want to try the LSD thing again!


--------------------
One Love True Indeed.  Have Good Trips.  Mike/sunshine's mom.


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Invisibleopenmind
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Murkabm] * 2
    #24846935 - 12/15/17 01:59 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Murkabm said:
What exactly is ego death from shrooms or lsd feel like ?






With 5g of mushrooms, about 10 years ago, the 4th time I ever took a psychedelic I had an experience that I'd label "ego death".




I lost all aspects of my self/life. Lost the plot of who/what/where I was.....I became nothing more than a point of awareness in a void of caressing vibrations, awareness with out self, timeless...No nothingness....No visuals, though there was some sounds like deep low frequency vibrations coursing through out my entire awareness....No thoughts about anything, just awareness.....It felt like my "awareness", no longer connected to a body, was smeared across and connected to every minute point of the cosmos.

Upon coming back down it was sorta like waking up from a dream, but very slowly....It began with slowly remembering that this point of awareness was an "I"...Then remembering this "I" had a name...Remembering "I" had a life, family, a girlfriend, possessions, emotions, memories/experiences, etc.....Remembering that I was laying on a bed in my girlfriends house.....Remembering that I had ate some mushrooms several hours ago.

During the comedown, when I started to piece myself bag together....it was soo strange to remember that this "point of awareness" was actually a person, had a name, a life, memories, etc etc...It was basically like a full on death & rebirth type experience for me. It wasn't ever scary. There was no "I" there to be scared. I still remember the come up was super heavy though, it laid me down real quick, pretty much forced me to lay down. I took one hit of weed before laying down (I still remember it was some silver haze :smirk:), then that was it, pretty much dissolved after that.






I've taken higher doses and a combo of psychedelics many times since then over the years, but that trip still stands as the only experience of mine that I'd actually label "ego death".







-OM


.


--------------------


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OfflineLiquidVisions
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: openmind]
    #24846951 - 12/15/17 02:17 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

it's the most confusing thing one can experience.
it goes from "woah I'm high as hell right now" to
"Wait where am i?" which becomes really existential
then it lead to "who am I?" and when you try to think of an answer you dont understand anything and start to feel as if you've never existed in the first place as you merge with everything. It's intense


--------------------
Step 1: Stare at this for 30 seconds

Step 2: Look at this after following step one

Step 3: Enjoy the mini trip :trippinbawelz:


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OfflineRiparianZoneJunky
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: openmind] * 1
    #24846955 - 12/15/17 02:19 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

openmind said:
Quote:

Murkabm said:
What exactly is ego death from shrooms or lsd feel like ?






No visuals, though there was some sounds like deep low frequency vibrations coursing through out my entire awareness....No thoughts about anything, just awareness.....It felt like my "awareness", no longer connected to a body, was smeared across and connected to every minute point of the cosmos.






This sums it up pretty well. So, I think there's two levels to it. There's the "cycle of death and rebirth" and there is strict, straight ego death. In the cycle of death and rebirth your awareness is pretty strong, there's crazy visuals and strong emotions, at first a great fear and horror as you feel your body dying, watch it rot or burn away and then you are pure disembodied spirit and feel connected to everything in a beautiful wash of pure energy, it is mystical and beautiful and sublime, you come back into your body and feel purified and reborn, washed in an orgasmic caress of cosmic joy. I used to call that ego death, got there a lot with mushrooms.

True ego death is more like the quote above. I've only had it from DMT, but every breakthrough gets me there. It is nothing, it is awareness stripped of all human thought, all human meaning, the universe being aware of itself in the black timeless void, it is a state of being and non-being simultaneously and you can not be afraid because there is no you to have fear and nothing there to fear, it is eerie, haunting and when you start to come back from it, it is almost overwhelming. I can't imagine being on enough mushrooms or LSD to get to that spot, it would be hell to stay there for very long.

The death and rebirth cycle is great, you have profound insights into your life, see yourself from an outsider's perspective, shorn of egotism and selfishness, have enhanced compassion for all life and feel like a vibrant, vital living thing in a universe filled with life. Ego death is utter nihilism, a vision of death's dream kingdom and it is utterly fucking bleak. No hope, no salvation, no feeling of an immortal life spirit, just black, just nothing.

I jokingly call the first "ego death," and the second level "superego death," because at the first level it's your sense of self, your narratives and illusions that slip away and you're in touch with the Godhead, your highest self, the superego, but at that truly deep level, even God is dead, and it's just the cosmic background radiation buzzing with void.


--------------------
RZJ's Tea Tek
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Edited by RiparianZoneJunky (12/15/17 02:22 AM)


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InvisibleApostleofAzathoth
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Murkabm]
    #24847016 - 12/15/17 04:19 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Its hard to explain. I've had multiple experiences on shrooms that I though where ego death where the sense of "being" any one particular thing, or of having a "self" disappeared. I've also experienced this from meditation in an equally profound, albeit subtler way.

I've also experienced complete detachment from reality on 7 grams of shrooms, and this came with a new level of ego death. I was not only not any one thing in particular, but my field of vision was not centered at any one particular point. There was a vision of something (I can describe it if you want, but it isn't relevant here), and instead of looking at it from any one direction, the vision was of the scene in its entirety, presented from every possible (and no particular) point of view. It might make more sense if I said that I saw the scene from every possible position in the scene at once, but this wouldn't be entirely accurate as I didn't have any sense of "I" at the time.

I've also used dissociative hallucinogens which detach you from your self in a whole different way. These experiences have been much more "trippy" or wacky than the ego death on classical psychedelics, but not nearly as profound.


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OfflineNortherner
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: ApostleofAzathoth]
    #24847057 - 12/15/17 05:14 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I've had a variety of ego death experiences. I know it's not LSD or shrooms, but my most recent one was actually quite disturbing because I only remembered it 2 days after it happened. I didn't even remember smoking the changa until after I had done it a couple of times, as it kept erasing my memory every time I smoked it. :tongue:

Anyhow, when I remembered the come up from the first trip... There was a massive spiral galaxy in front of me and all these zig zagging pipes of light pulling and zapping at me. Suddenly I was out of my body and I could see my body being pulled into this galaxy. I thought "I've done it this time, I'm going to die". It was pretty scary. The next thing I knew I was inside a void with a massive white light. I don't know if it was a sphere or a tunnel. The overlay between me and the light was filled with sacred geometry and impossibilities. The space literally had texture. Impossible beautiful texture. There was a loud jangling like bells and chains, intense metallic sounds. I cruised like this through the void for quite a long time just awestruck by it's beauty.
Then suddenly I could sense my lungs again, I started panicking and then started breathing like mad sucking air. Then after a bit I could sense the rest of me and thought "why are you breathing like that? stop!", and I did. Just like that. It was weird. I wasn't even sure why I had started breathing like that. I opened my eyes. I was still sat in front of the PC, tripping balls in the afterglow.

Took me a few days to feel "normal" after remembering that. It just kept coming back to me. I couldn't think of anything else and had to force myself to shake it.

A very memorable LSD breakthrough was a few years ago when I really overdid it one night. I ate 8 pretty strong tabs and it started hitting me within 15 minutes. I was buzzing out but I wasn't scared. It was just kinda sucking at me and making it reaaaally hard to perceive anything around me. I was sat on the couch and I lay down. As my head hit the cushion it just kept sucking at me. I was falling through, or it was pulling me... the couch turned into infinity. I was suspended in a kaleidoscope. I was nothing. It was endless. Endless... The next thing I knew I was sensing my body again. I didn't know who I was or where I was. I was totally disassociated. After a while I figured out what was happening and after testing myself for balance went to get some water. The sun had started coming up, It had been 6 hours.

It can be so different from trip to trip to substance to substance though. Everyone has a different story to tell as well.


--------------------
If only you could see the things he has seen, the technicolour dreams of a plastic changa bear


Edited by Northerner (12/15/17 05:36 AM)


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OfflineRiparianZoneJunky
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Northerner]
    #24848256 - 12/15/17 06:08 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Northerner said:
I was nothing. It was endless. Endless... The next thing I knew I was sensing my body again. I didn't know who I was or where I was. I was totally disassociated. After a while I figured out what was happening and after testing myself for balance went to get some water. The sun had started coming up, It had been 6 hours.

It can be so different from trip to trip to substance to substance though. Everyone has a different story to tell as well.




I'm glad I had my first white-out experience on vaped DMT and not LSD. 6 hours is a fucking eternity to be in that space. How long did it take you to reintegrate from that trip? I imagine it would have left you in a weird space for a while. 15 minutes in that spot took be months to recover from. :lol:


--------------------
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OfflineNortherner
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: RiparianZoneJunky] * 1
    #24848343 - 12/15/17 06:52 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

RiparianZoneJunky said:
Quote:

Northerner said:
I was nothing. It was endless. Endless... The next thing I knew I was sensing my body again. I didn't know who I was or where I was. I was totally disassociated. After a while I figured out what was happening and after testing myself for balance went to get some water. The sun had started coming up, It had been 6 hours.

It can be so different from trip to trip to substance to substance though. Everyone has a different story to tell as well.




I'm glad I had my first white-out experience on vaped DMT and not LSD. 6 hours is a fucking eternity to be in that space. How long did it take you to reintegrate from that trip? I imagine it would have left you in a weird space for a while. 15 minutes in that spot took be months to recover from. :lol:



Yeah man, it shook me to the core. I stopped everything (completely sober, not even coffee) for about 9 months after that and haven't taken more than 2 tabs since. I doubt I will ever shoot anywhere near those heady lysergic highs again.

If I hadn't done it before, even knowing what would happen, I would probably do it the first time still. :lol:


--------------------
If only you could see the things he has seen, the technicolour dreams of a plastic changa bear


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Offlinefungigourmet
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Northerner]
    #24849135 - 12/16/17 04:30 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

i had ego death and in reality body death like experience with amanita trip. it felt as if i was dead . strange experience..


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OfflinePandemoon
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: fungigourmet]
    #24849192 - 12/16/17 05:40 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

My one and only ego death came from a really big hit of dmt.

I became nothing and everthing at the same time. Relived my past life, forgot that I took dmt & freaked out a bit.

15min later everything was fine and I laughed out loud at how intense dmt really is.

-


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Offlineheatlessbbq
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Pandemoon]
    #24849315 - 12/16/17 08:51 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Ego death can present itself in many different ways.

Many experiences may include:
-pure understanding and purpose.
-A sense of compassion to the epitome.
-empathy rises so high / putting Oneself in someone else's shoes
- Divine intervention / communion with higher powers
-A "bad trip" leading to inevitable confessing / soul cleansing
-getting shaken to the core to better Oneself
- Receiving full on contact / healing energy from supernatural sources
- Retrieving data from the akashic records
- real life memories and/or persona blockages become sanctified


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OfflineBojerk Horse Man
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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: heatlessbbq]
    #24849795 - 12/16/17 02:24 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

When I experienced it, I basically forgot who I was.  I was convinced that the concept of "me" had completely vanished.  I ended up trying to pick pieces of my consciousness out of the air in front of me.

It's pretty god damn scary. Would not recommend


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Re: How does ego death really feel ?? [Re: Murkabm]
    #24850450 - 12/16/17 08:32 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Murkabm said:
I have had many enlightening lsd and shroom trips ..and have learned alot ..but i have always retained a sense of self on my trips..more like a detached  observer with no anxiety ... What exactly is ego death from shrooms or lsd feel like ?





Ego-death is a myth. Like blue balls.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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