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OfflineKewinaFreeWorld
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Registered: 08/22/17
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Solo Trip, Mushroom Spirit & Jesus
    #24816568 - 11/30/17 11:03 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

After This recent heavy trip I felt the need to do some solo exploration. It was very soon, sure, but I almost felt the need to find something within myself.
I took 2.5 dry last night around 9p. As I was coming up I had a movie on that I wasn't all that interested in. After about an hour I was feeling the come on so I ditched the movie and went outside. I was listening to music and feeling alright.

Then things got crazy..

I started seeping into my last trip ^^, and was feeling very anxious. I had this unbearable feeling of unrest, like nothing I could do would satisfy or calm my anxiety. I was listening to one of my favorite artists Trevor Hall which was the only thing keeping me grounded.

I could feel all the evils in the world, almost like I was taking responsibility for all of history. I lived the experience of a WW2 soldier leaving his family to go to war. I experienced the hell one must feel serving a life sentence in prison.

I looked back on all the times I was a shitty friend, and wronged people. I was reliving many of the times I messed up in life.

I couldn't stay still and had to remain in motion, almost like I was in an infinite time loop.

I looked at my clock realizing I had a few hours to go and remember feeling that I was going to have to ride it out. I sat outside just biding my time.

Slowly I started to level out. I thought of my family and loved ones, and how lucky I am that they are alive right now in that moment.

I went inside to my basement studio. I experienced complete quiet and darkness (for the first time in a trip). Suddenly I felt better. I could see vivid colors, patterns and fractals in the darkness. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

At that point I realized that I was having a bad time because I was resisting.

I was just about at the peak. I decided to go up to my bedroom to lay down, with Terrence Mckenna's dark room method in mind, wanting to fully commit.

I got into my sheets and felt like my body was infinity wrapped up in the blankets. It felt great.

Thats when shit got crazy.

I felt another presence, and knew it was what Mckenna called the mushroom spirit. It was calming, but felt very alien. As I focused into that reality, I heard very strange sounds, almost like alien language. I could distinctly hear drums and music, that was out of this world.

Colors were vivid, even though I was in near total darkness. I then felt that I was apart of a geometric plane. I was in a black 3D space that was filled with bizarre colorful objects of different shapes.

I felt a vivid sense of mental clarity which was refreshing from the first part of the trip. I felt like I was developing a sense of personal understanding, all while being in the presence of this alien spirit. I could feel the entire room and felt whole. I was one with my environment.

I then decided to talk to the mushroom (in my head). We conversed in a different language (not verbally). In my other trip report, my friend was doing something similar only verbally, and I remember feeling a sense of understanding towards him.

Being Christian, I brought up Jesus to the mushroom. I wanted to know what it thought of Him.

Suddenly, I felt a split. My sense of calm almost disappeared, and I felt like on one side there was the mushroom spirit, and the other was my rationale of Christianity. The side of Christianity was confused and I contemplated all the violence that has happened around religion.
I tried to reason if it was Christianity itself that was causing this, or evil that surrounds it that tries to attack it's purity.

At that point I was starting to come down. My last thoughts were that I need to do some deep spiritual searching to see if I belong in the psychedelic world anymore after that experience.

Part of my feels that if the mushroom reacted so bizarrely to me contemplating Jesus, that there must be some truth to Christianity.

It had me thinking, maybe the forbidden fruit is the mushroom, since it reveals so much into humanity that is not all pretty. My last few trips included insight into raw violence locked away in humanity. During the trip it is terrifying to experience the realization that much of humanity's history is violent and evil. Even though now I can rationalize it and see the positive side, I forever know that it is there and that I experienced it.

The other part of me longs for that sense of calm & clarity the mushroom brought, even though it came with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety first.

I am curious if anyone has thoughts about this.

Much love.


--------------------
:mushroom2:


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: Solo Trip, Mushroom Spirit & Jesus [Re: KewinaFreeWorld]
    #24816655 - 11/30/17 11:49 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

It's hard to dissolve the ego.  Let that be a reminder for life.  Ego causes all our problems.  The darkness, the agression, all our lack of acceptance.

States of ego don't just change at a drop of A hat.  There is no magic gimmick.  But shrooms sure can remind us of our suffering and how mental space can relax.

I'd say that a lot of religion's misery is ego trying to control spirit and not spirit guiding ego.  Ego is a construct to survive darkness, it is darkness.  Only illumination in God's light, the god head can dispell our dark misery.

I gave up on most drugs for a spell.  I find tobacco to be hugely significant.  When I go without for awhile then indulge, I can deeply meditate when I go to bed and transcend my ego deeper and with more illumination.

Drugs are powerful and not jnderstanding ourselves makes them very dangerous.  But the ego thrives in danger, we have systems of mental training to venture in dark mental terrain.

I do hope that psychology and psychiatry wakes up to the path of awakening with psycadelic therapy.  Things the CIA really wanted to do but maybe not that so much.  The world has been insane forever but really badly since world war two.  Totally traumatized the human spirit.  It's been dark and misguided since then.  But I think there is always a guiding light.


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"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

Edited by Morel Guy (11/30/17 11:50 AM)

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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: Solo Trip, Mushroom Spirit & Jesus [Re: Morel Guy]
    #24816665 - 11/30/17 11:52 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

I'd suggest feeling the spirit more.  Try to not fuck with thoughts so much.  Let the spirit literaly fuck your soul.  Your being.  This is what I do for mediation.  It's been called body soul intercourse.  Ecstasy is possible.  It's the only thing that will stasify our carnal desires and give ulitmate love and peace.  I know I get addicted to stating perspectives.  It's fun to tie our karmic knots.  But it's bad to do that.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Offlineh99miller
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Registered: 12/14/20
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Re: Solo Trip, Mushroom Spirit & Jesus [Re: KewinaFreeWorld]
    #27619595 - 01/15/22 09:15 AM (2 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

KewinaFreeWorld said:

Part of my feels that if the mushroom reacted so bizarrely to me contemplating Jesus, that there must be some truth to Christianity. 




Why does the mushroom reacting so bizarrely mean there may be some truths to Christianity? Of course there is truth in most things, but you were at the altar of Mushrooms, not Christianity.

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OfflineCrazyDragon
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Re: Solo Trip, Mushroom Spirit & Jesus [Re: h99miller]
    #27627720 - 01/21/22 10:37 PM (2 years, 2 months ago)

I enjoyed this trip report.

The idea of going back into a previous trip is the weirdness that we sign up for!

I too have had similar experiences when 'the other' appeared. Very cool to hear it from others as well.

What's fascinating is, I once asked 'The Other' about the modern religions and asked if they had any merit. It never answered directly but did make me feel connected and empathetic for all those who were killed for praying to their religion, doing rituals like shrooms, and other related practices.

My post-sober conclusion to this (that I am VERY open to changing) is that, magic is real but that doesn't mean these stories are literally real. That miracles have happened and continue to happen. You add the awkwardness of oral stories being told generation after generation, you add translation errors, you add government laws (theories that Burning Bush was a psychadelic trip for example and not everyone can admit to it/maybe didnt even know they were even tripping), exaggerations, and straight up lies, and you get a lot of spiritual concepts being exercised in ridiculous and fanatical ways. But there is merit to the magic and the spirutalness of it all.

My two cents. Nice trip report.

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Offline317537
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Registered: 02/04/22
Posts: 12
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: Solo Trip, Mushroom Spirit & Jesus [Re: KewinaFreeWorld]
    #27646109 - 02/04/22 07:53 PM (2 years, 1 month ago)

Jesus is your Buddha.  It's a good thing to have that personal relationship with.  He said it straight. Humans couldn't understand him and then try to build a time machine rather than learn to live forever.. It's the medicine the man.

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