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Offlinedream.schmatics704
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Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 294
Loc: NC/OH
Last seen: 6 years, 8 days
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24799408 - 11/22/17 07:35 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

at the end of the day if you think its just you and only you in this Terrible unfair world. and its all just an "illusion" of all these problems that you created. why wouldn't you jut make the most of it and realize ...hey.. every piece matters so I must matter..lets just make the most of the moment and accept it.. no getting stuck in the past.. or future... this moment matters right now. it all leads up to now... not what happened with the jewish magaic man or what you want to be in 5 years.right now.. are you going to fold in this moment? or are you going to move on and laugh about all the noise you believed and accept it was a lie and laugh about it and move on. get over yourself.none of that matters becaseu its subject to change..... I mean YOU created all these PROblems . YOU CAN Fix IT.. its just a ride man stop taking it so serious.. everyone is everything man.. there is just a spectrum.. don't get so caught up in the spectrum of it just let it be. ebb and flow baby... ebb and flow


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist

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Offlinedream.schmatics704
Stranger


Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 294
Loc: NC/OH
Last seen: 6 years, 8 days
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24799418 - 11/22/17 07:46 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

p.s stop telling people you have psychosis.. youll start to believe it. I can never understand wwhy ppl believe something that has been told to them about them selfs/ own brain by someone else... that's like saying :laugh:ogs are color blind but only see purple.ishould know I'm a veterinarian .. like how the fuck do you know that? did the dog tell you?. like I said everyone is everything,, its a spectrum subjected to change. you could be a genius tomorrow. fuck the lable. just go with it.. so you where feeling down one day and had a break down and now your therapist lables you as having psycosis.big fucking deal man. then people get caught up on ..omg I'm a psycho I guess I gotta really play the part now... its all bs man.


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist

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OfflinePeyote Road
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Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
Loc: Great Lakes State
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24800541 - 11/22/17 06:25 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

i get what you're saying but in my case its energetic. I have major issues with the way energy flows through my body. I masturbated on sunday and now i have a tremendous flood of energy burning up my brain. That is just not normal. These problems are energetic, not just problems with my thinking thats what makes it so difficult.

I could literally die from masturbation and yet I don't think I can go the rest of my life without masturbating or having sex.


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The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra

Edited by Peyote Road (11/22/17 06:26 PM)

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Offlinedream.schmatics704
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Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 294
Loc: NC/OH
Last seen: 6 years, 8 days
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24800585 - 11/22/17 06:46 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

you work out? try that . forreal. and yoga. and a healthy diet.no boose.. then tell me hw your energy is.


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist

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Offlinedream.schmatics704
Stranger


Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 294
Loc: NC/OH
Last seen: 6 years, 8 days
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24800590 - 11/22/17 06:48 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I know it sounds so fcking cliché man... just give it a shot tho for 2 weeks then hit me back and see if it helped at all


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist

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Offlinedream.schmatics704
Stranger


Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 294
Loc: NC/OH
Last seen: 6 years, 8 days
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24800591 - 11/22/17 06:48 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I'm here for ya dude if you ever nned to talk


--------------------
"I need to hold onto some sort of relevance, it's all I have left.All at once I could view the entirety of space. A moment of isolation welcoming paralysis.
Follow the cord which projects and makes the decisions for you
/ Adaptation brought introspection.All comfort has escaped me, remember to breathe in again.

At the edge I exist in, I watch my whole life again" the contortionist

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OfflinePeyote Road
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Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
Loc: Great Lakes State
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: dream.schmatics704]
    #24800725 - 11/22/17 07:41 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

i do work out but my energy is real bad. basically it feels like energy from solar plexus continuously travels up my spine into my brain  and makes it so i can never rest , relax or feel any peace. it continuously drives me insane and also the energetics of my mind are all messed up from living with that Jewish Magician. His magic had profound effects on me. The reason its so hard to forget him is because I can feel the magical effects on my body even as I type this and the doors he opened in my mind remain open, so I am constantly reminded of him every moment of every day. I just feel so stupid, he kept pushing me to do all these meditations and push myself further and further spiritually when I was just happier being as I was.  If I didn't do what he wanted he would accuse me of "going to sleep" or "forsaking the work". I just can't forgive myself for listening to that madman.

Also, ever time I masturbate or even just get turned on sexually more and more energy flows into my brain worsening all my symptoms. I build up so much energy it's like being on cocaine, where I cannot sit still, cannot sleep, move very fast and still I can't expend the energy. Its unbelievably horrible. I also don't think I will be able to go the rest of my life without masturbating or having sex, so I feel like I am doomed to just keep getting worse and worse.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra

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OfflineDazzz
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Registered: 11/18/17
Posts: 515
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24801099 - 11/22/17 10:07 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Good tough work...karate or a self defense class..and only click your mouse when you feel like it's a reward..charlie manson had chicks thinkin thoughts like yours, dude has no power over you..my faith is stronger than his manipulation and im telling you, you can break free from this...you are free from it....just accept it now

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OfflinePeyote Road
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Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801351 - 11/23/17 01:19 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

But what about the sexual energy in my brain? It feels like there is a sun in my brain burning me alive. I can barely think or focus.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra

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OfflineDazzz
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Posts: 515
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24801377 - 11/23/17 01:52 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

What do u get high on...and I think youve only been taught things that benefitted somebody else too...there is a reward which only comes from self confidence, control, and discipline..im not sayin drugs r bad mmmkay..just practice positive controlled denial, like fasting....trust me the payoff will be alot better when you do decide to vent...learn to quiet that part of you and be self aware, meditation, not yoga, suppressing energy is crucial ..to have it unlocked is simple...ppl get pissed off, they are filled with negative energy, shutting it off is not easy....thats why I reccommended a martial art....actually tai chi might be best, but centered on meditation..will help you learn suppression techniques. And im just curious bout your drug habit, if it may be contributing

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OfflinePeyote Road
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Registered: 09/02/15
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801390 - 11/23/17 02:01 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

The only drugs I take are small amounts of kratom and small amounts of whiskey and I wouldn't say I get "high" on either.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra

Edited by Peyote Road (11/23/17 02:02 AM)

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801400 - 11/23/17 02:16 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Lactuca virosa / seriola is quite calming...so is muscimol, theyve both helped me quiet my monsters..you seem to have linked this to your orgasms..more specifically your solo work..whens the last time u got laid..are you ashamed when play? Subconsiously maybe...do you feel like youre doing something wrong becuz its not with him..was he possessive or the polar opposite...ask yourself how and why this makes you miserable..such a wonderfull thing. Keep in mind this guy is a bullshit artist okay, treating you like a puppet. What good has come from his teaching? You could always get off lol. You are not awakened , youve just opened your eyes after slumber

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801401 - 11/23/17 02:18 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Alot of kratom tests positive for chinese designer drugs...powerfull rave drugs, aphrodesiacs..try a different strain or supplier...they lace it so ppl will think its stronger...my experience with kratom, it made me want more and more...I had a pill habit, would always get impulses to do another, drove me crazy..kratom was like that too

Edited by Dazzz (11/23/17 02:23 AM)

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OfflinePeyote Road
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801404 - 11/23/17 02:20 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

lol mine doesn't have any powerful rave drug in it, I get it direct from Indonesa from an Indonesian I trust. I help him learn English and buy kratom from him, he's a really nice guy. Always tries to make me feel better when I'm suicidal.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24801405 - 11/23/17 02:27 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Mine came from indonesia...not from a friend...but damn those impulses, it didnt work for me, I wanted it to...but yeah, like coke...I would bounce around all add ocd..instead of the chill I wanted

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801412 - 11/23/17 02:42 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Years ago, I got to where I couldnt smoke weed with my most trusted friends, after 10 years of smoking..panic attacks, id think of all my shortcomings, all my guilt ...it wouldn literally make me hurl..black out, overheat..it was so very hard to figure out how to control that, I love weed...seemed like it hated me...I learned to look at myself without pride, but with compassion..empathy, and mercy..we are all learning, you have somehow got salt in your sugar, like you cant the good without the bad...

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OfflinePeyote Road
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801421 - 11/23/17 02:48 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

salt in my sugar? What do you mean? I had the same problem with weed btw.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801426 - 11/23/17 02:57 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I feel like you have some deep seeded self worth and esteem issues, that you were vulnerable, and led astray..brainwashed by an asshole, and I think a calming medication, and a loving look at yourself through new eyes will do you a world of good..we all care about you here man..the path to enlightenment is a long and narrow one, and to fully experience life, we must feel every emotion..crush our egos, and humbly accept we are never perfect

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801428 - 11/23/17 03:01 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I mean maybe you wanna feel bad when you experience pleasure..maybe only when its sexual...maybe cuz you still feel like he owns you or sumpin....or another source of shame or guilt

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OfflineDazzz
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Re: Does anyone who has spiritually awakened dislike it? [Re: Dazzz]
    #24801431 - 11/23/17 03:03 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Was this your longest, first, or closest relationship

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