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InvisibleNiffla
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I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately * 2
    #24743149 - 10/28/17 12:42 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

I made a brief mentioning of this recently here in an MDC thread or somethin but for the most part I've been completely absent from the pub during this whole ordeal.

I'm ashamed of how I've been, and I should be.

At work I've been for all intents and purposes dating this coworker, who's technically a subordinate, who is married. Of course I knew from the very start that it was a horrible idea and I should stay FAR FAR away from her but I, of course, did not. She was/is so strikingly cute and fun that I bypassed all common sense. It's been some four months of sneaking around her husband's schedule. And eventually he found out. Yep. Naturally he wants to kill me. And to make matters even worse, virtually every coworker I have knows about it. Including my superiors, lmao. Yeah shit spiraled out of control and I got nobody to blame but myself. I don't expect anybody to feel sorry for me because I deserve all of this.

She even asked me shit like if I'd be willing to be there in her corner 100% if she was to get a divorce. Drunkenly I told her yes, smfh. She's even brought up the idea of just getting a divorce and moving in with me. Yeah that has success written all over it, doesn't it :rofl: Go from a side fling situation to living together and having to work with each other everyday.

Even when I mentioned this last week here I was still deluding myself into wanting to believe that me and this little chick's relationship means something bigger, and that it would be worth a shot, but dude I've really been looking at myself for a long fucking time in the mirror lately and EVERY SINGLE PERSON that I've spoken to about the whole thing, says the same thing. That this thing has disaster and heartache (which I've already experienced more than enough of throughout the course of this believe me) written all over it. That it's infinitely better to just cut it off completely now. She ain't going through with a divorce just for me. And if she did, us going from a side thing to full blown living together...lmao. I mean anybody can do the math on that. Not to mention we work together five days a week. Or I can keep fucking around with her on the side and then her husband, who already has found out, can come catch me walking to my car to or from work and put me in the ICU with a baseball bat to the head. Or worse.

It's stupid, man. I gotta stop. And the fact that she's fucking around on the man she's married to -- and still has wanted to continue doing so even after he found out, what does that say about her? Like she wouldn't do the same shit to me down the line? That's pretty fucking delusional for me to think that wouldn't happen. And then I see her facebook/snapchat videos of her and her husband and how she fakes how much she loves him (or maybe she's not faking at all?) yet is wanting to hook up with me whenever he leaves their apartment...I mean dude.

So yeah. This week my plan is to start ignoring her calls. Her texts. But be very, very cordial at work, yet at the same time -- avoid her and minimize contact. Eventually I expect her to ask me point blank why I'm being distant and if and when that happens, I'll just have to be ready to tell her that it was fun while it lasted, as wrong as it was, and tell her that I can't do this anymore and then wish her the best of luck. The tough thing is we have to see each other everyday at work so this is going to be a really tough mountain to climb but I really just gotta take this shit one day at a time and not fall back into the trap and temptation of being around her.




TLDR; I've been fucking around with a married woman who's a coworker to boot, the whole thing is a complete disaster and I need to bring an end to this thing in the most efficient way possible


--------------------


"The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you."

-Charles Bukowski


Edited by Niffla (10/28/17 12:47 PM)


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #24743174 - 10/28/17 12:56 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Follow ur heart, say what's really on ur mind, mean it, she gon probs try to play games with u after u leave her, try to get ur attention, even get inside ur head so that ure thinking about her when she's not there.. This is war my friend.. :cool:


--------------------
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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #24743183 - 10/28/17 12:59 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

I dunno if you should, for multiple reasons. I'm not saying you shouldn't but you need to consider all angles before you decide on a course of action. If you think things are screwed up now, how screwed are they gonna get when this chick, who is so into you she's willing to throw away her marriage, is just up and "dumped" by you after you wrecked her life (that's how she's gonna see it anyways). Don't forget how crazy and out of control an angry woman can be. :shrug: Maybe you should follow it through to it's bitter conclusion.

If not that, I'd probably try to find someway to make her think it's her idea to break things off. Find a way to make her hate you (besides breaking it off) so she just hates you for being an asshole and not the guy who promised to stay behind her if she left her husband and then pussed out the moment things got real.

For the record I'm not judging you, I'm no saint when it comes to relationships either and I've trashed just about every relationship I've ever had because of stupidity.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #24743189 - 10/28/17 01:00 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

i hate americas obsession with the term "cringe" lately. 99% of the time its applied to situations that are barely even "cringey", and i think it sucks that we as a society are so obsessed with what is and isn't considered socially acceptable that we've built ourselves into a box where anything we perceive as abormal is looked down upon aka cringed about

the current cringe fad is worse than if u kidnapped n killed that dudes wife


--------------------
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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #24743210 - 10/28/17 01:12 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Cut her off and start looking for a new job. Wise up.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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Invisiblecrackbaby
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #24743213 - 10/28/17 01:13 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

ya i would agree that this is far from cringe-worthy...nice to see you back Niffla :smile2:.  From what i recall in your posts the job you're at isn't all that great and you've been wanting to get out of there, so why even care about what your co-workers think?  Also, i wouldn't judge a woman too harshly for fooling around with someone else while still being 'married', or someone who hooks up with an attractive woman who is in a dead end marriage.


--------------------
:awedance:




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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Shroomslip] * 1
    #24743215 - 10/28/17 01:14 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
If you think things are screwed up now, how screwed are they gonna get when this chick, who is so into you she's willing to throw away her marriage, is just up and "dumped" by you after you wrecked her life (that's how she's gonna see it anyways).




Thing is, and man there's so much that goes into this that I barely didn't even scratch the surface with the OP -- so many red flags that she was never going to leave her marriage in the first place. Even though she did ask that question (about if I was willing to be there in her corner if a divorce was to actually go down), like a week later she was at lunch with me at work talking about how much she can't stand her husband, how much he annoys her, how much they don't have in common at all, yet when I asked the question: Well then why the hell are you still with him then? Her response was two things: San Diego and money. He husband has been trying to transfer to San Diego for a while now and his parents are well off, and have supposedly told her that if she can get her shit straight and fix their differences (her fucking in-laws know about the whole situation and know who I am lmfao) that they'd help her start her dream which is owning her own little clothing store.

So if all she says is accurate about how much she can't stand her husband, yet she's willing to stay married to the guy she's been fucking around on just so she can move to San Diego and have her own clothing shop...lol. So basically that told me that

A) if she/they don't go to San Diego, then maybe she'll divorce him

B) if she gets to go to San Diego and her in-laws are for real that they'd be willing to get her own shop off off and running then peace out dude is was fun while it lasted :lol:

That one conversation told me that her number one priority is the beach and her own business. Which hey, we all have one life, right? If the beaches of San Diego and her own potential clothing shop is the #1 priority in her life, more power to her. But her #1 priority damn sure ain't me lol


--------------------


"The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you."

-Charles Bukowski


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Invisiblecannabinated
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #24743225 - 10/28/17 01:20 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Bitches, man. Bitches.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #24743235 - 10/28/17 01:24 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Ohhhhh Niffla, u really got yourself in a pickle this time!

Not sure what advice to give u, but damn dude, fucking great read dude :popcorn:

A similar thing happened to my best friend. He was messing around with a married woman, lost his virginity to her. Well, long story short, it didnt end well for them. My friend cut her off cause he thought the cheating marriage thing was wrong. Go figure.

As u already know, trying to start something with this married woman is likely a disaster waiting to happen.


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #24743237 - 10/28/17 01:24 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

That's how my parents got together and 3 kids came about.  It didn't last and Dad never got married again, mom did.  Dad was 41 when I was born and mom was 27.

Drugs and/or alcohol and someone with ex's out there they still see at bars or whatever, will makes it last even less long.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: crackbaby] * 1
    #24743248 - 10/28/17 01:27 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

crackbaby said:
From what i recall in your posts the job you're at isn't all that great and you've been wanting to get out of there, so why even care about what your co-workers think?  Also, i wouldn't judge a woman too harshly for fooling around with someone else while still being 'married', or someone who hooks up with an attractive woman who is in a dead end marriage.




Yeah you're right the job does blow so I really shouldn't give a fuck what other coworkers think. I'll be outta here sooner or later for sure. And I didn't mean to judge her harshly for cheating on her husband -- all I'm saying is...odds are (I would guess) that is she's willing to cheat on her husband with me, what would make me think she wouldn't do it to me down the road? Also she flat out mentioned that she basically married the guy so she could get out of her small town in the middle of nowhere (because he was about to land a nice new job and would be heading to the big city, and Dallas is a BIG city compared to where she came from). That was another huge red flag I conveniently ignored. Who's to say that she's not just using me as an exit plan to get out of her unhappy marriage now? I mean she's already admitted to being able to freaking wed someone just to get out her tiny little town...

But she's really, really cute, and a ton of fun to hang out with, and as superficial as that makes me I was willing to ignore all common sense and the advice of everybody who's close to me and has known about this whole thing...just because she's cute and fun to hang out with

:epicfacepalm:


--------------------


"The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you."

-Charles Bukowski


Edited by Niffla (10/28/17 01:28 PM)


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #24743274 - 10/28/17 01:41 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Well it had disaster written all over it when she was willing to leave her husband for you, it's hard to really make it "worse" no matter what she says. I dunno, if she just wants to go back and isn't going to flip shit on you, then maybe take the out. But then again, you know this chick is toxic and you seem to be having problems just walking away from it. Probably going to be one of those things you regret years later. You might be doing the husband a favor lol. Maybe he'll go onto meet someone who actually cares about him and not just his money.

In the end, you could write every detail and I could read them all and I still woudln't be able to tell you what to do, only you can. I don't think this is one of those situations that can be solved with pure logic. A lot of it is feeling and only you know what you're feeling.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflinePsyche delics
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #24743299 - 10/28/17 01:58 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
i hate americas obsession with the term "cringe" lately. 99% of the time its applied to situations that are barely even "cringey", and i think it sucks that we as a society are so obsessed with what is and isn't considered socially acceptable that we've built ourselves into a box where anything we perceive as abormal is looked down upon aka cringed about

the current cringe fad is worse than if u kidnapped n killed that dudes wife



The whole "WOKE" thing is even worse.


--------------------


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InvisibleFrozenHappiness
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #24743305 - 10/28/17 02:02 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

At least you understand how messy this situation is, you're not deluding yourself with happy ending fantasies, or trying to rationalize your behavior. A lot of people that find themselves in similar circumstances aren't so aware. Unfortunately, no matter how you handle this it's probably going to be a painful and messy ordeal.

If I were in your position I would like to think that I would break it off in the cleanest and gentlest way possible. She's probably not going to leave her husband for you. Especially if she goes on about how much she lover him, but then is banging you at every opportunity. What is more likely to happen is he will leaver her, she will become an awful mess, you will become her rebound and sole support system. Then she will recover emotionally, get back on her feet, and loose interest in you. But it sounds like you know all that already.


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: FrozenHappiness]
    #24743360 - 10/28/17 02:37 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

FrozenHappiness said:

If I were in your position I would like to think that I would break it off in the cleanest and gentlest way possible.




Yes absolutely, she has done zero wrong to me, in fact she has given me waaaayyyy more attention than I freaking deserve. We've had a lot of fun together and even though it would seem unlikely it would be awesome if we could somehow still remain true friends (but absolutely nothing more than that). But yeah I have no ill will towards her of course, no animosity, I just know that there is no happy ending at the end of the tunnel for this. So it's better to cut it off now than prolong it.

But in the meantime I will be as cordial and as sweet as I can towards her as we still work together, but at the same time trying to absolutely minimize contact. And no more phone calls and messaging or going to lunch and sneaking around. That part has to be completely eliminated or else there's always going to be that chance that my feelings for her will continue to grow and right now I just need the opposite.


--------------------


"The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you."

-Charles Bukowski


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Invisiblerackem
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #24743436 - 10/28/17 03:11 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

let her down gently man.

too many irons in the fire to be abrupt.


--------------------


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #24743444 - 10/28/17 03:14 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

You could try "I am sorry but I'm uncomfortable with how this played out and don't want a relationship, we can be friends with benefits though."

Boom, possibly still fuck her and she knows that's where it ends.  If she says no, you're covered too because you told her how you're uncomfortable to be in a relationship with a married woman.  Plus as you said, she did it to the fuckin dude she married, she will do the same to you.


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InvisibleAtreyu
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: PreparationH] * 1
    #24743807 - 10/28/17 06:13 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

The word you are looking for is Scumbag

I see you're experiencing some guilt, but Honestly

I hope that you end up knocking this bitch up with quadruplets giving that dude a shit ton more leverage when he divorces her trifling ass.


--------------------


つ ◕_◕ ༽つ N = R* • fp • ne • fl • fi • fc • L 


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Atreyu] * 5
    #24743851 - 10/28/17 06:32 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Don't ignore her, that will make things worse. Talk to her like a man and tell her how you feel. Tell her it's way to early to move in together and that you might want to in the future. If you don't want to be with her then tell her that. Tell her you're afraid she will cheat on you, whatever it is. I've seen this type of thing work out before, so maybe it could work for you two.

Did she say why she was cheating? Is she in love with you, doing it for the thrill, or maybe getting back at her husband?

Watch out for her husband. People get killed and beat-up for this kind of thing all the time.


--------------------
My Pronouns: What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?        Teapot


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: I've been so fucking cringe-worthy lately [Re: Atreyu] * 2
    #24743878 - 10/28/17 06:51 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Atreyu said:
The word you are looking for is Scumbag

I see you're experiencing some guilt, but Honestly

I hope that you end up knocking this bitch up with quadruplets giving that dude a shit ton more leverage when he divorces her trifling ass.




Lol yikes.  If anything he did that dude a favor.  Blame her, she's the cheating one, not niffla.  Niff is just getting it in, yolo.


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