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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Tripping with the love of my life
    #2473822 - 03/25/04 07:06 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

This might turn out to be a long story concidering the details I have to put in, but here it goes:

Ok, at the age of 14 I met the love of my life, love at first sight and the whole package.  There's a long story about just this but I'll skip the details here.  Anyway, we had the type of relationship you could dream of, we were best friends and so so so happily in love and totally comfortable to talk about anything and/or do the craziest shit imaginable. 
Ok, so I've been interested in shrooms ever since that age and I smoked weed during that age but she wasnt interested in drugs, but after keeping contact for some years now (through letters and e-mails... since we both had to move) and seeing eachother during vacations and shit I've talked about shrooms with her on several occasions.  See, she is this veeery spiritual person and we've both affected eachother to become spiritual ever since the first day (gazing at the stars talking about deep stuff *sigh*...). 
I've told her about my trips and how spiritual mushrooms can be and everything... this opened her eyes a bit and she said if there's one thing she'll ever try it will be mushrooms and she promises she will only do it with me.  She's still keeping that promise... even though we still live in completely differant countries and she's hooked up with a 25 year old dude (me and her are nineteen :shake:) who she sees herself maybe marrying one day :frown:...!  Its ok in a way because we are still more or less the good friends we have always been and keep in contact and always talk about getting to meet eachother one day.  My guess this day will be the day I have settled down, gotten a place to live and the whole package.  I think about this "time we might meet" every day and getting the chance to trip with her too.
I dont know how I should make this happen though.

First of all it would be awkard to meet the love of my life after so many years and after so many changes in our selves and with our relationship, let alone trip with her (and let alone my feelings for her).

Secondly I want the trip to be very special for her, I want it to be spiritual, I want it not to be awkward and during the stay (and maybe I could work this out during the trip) I want to make her fall in love with me again, basically she's my girl and everybody says there are more fish in the sea, but there arent she's my definate significant other.

About the trip, how do you think I should set the setting to be both romantic, spiritual, special and fun?  Any ideas or advice.  I really want to get this off my chest and I'll be more than happy to hear anyody's 2 cents. 

About her stay at my place in general, how can I win her heart back when she's with this "dream hunk of a guy" who's older and probably more of what I am not.  Personally I dont think any guy can giver her as much as I want to give her.

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum (if it should be in the spg) this turned out more sappy than I expected the post to be.


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 11 years, 24 days
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: filthysock]
    #2473831 - 03/25/04 07:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'd recommend: fun, special, spiritual, romantic, in that order.

If she thinks she's going to marry the guy, it's not really your place to try to pry her out of it. The concept of "love of your life" is and should be a mutable thing -- you'll always love her, and she'll probably always love you in a way, but people move on. Tripping may allow you two to open up about these things, and move forward towards the next phase of your relationship, which will probably include some letting go of things.


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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OfflineDivided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings

Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: valour]
    #2473925 - 03/25/04 07:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

valour said:
I'd recommend: fun, special, spiritual, romantic, in that order.

If she thinks she's going to marry the guy, it's not really your place to try to pry her out of it.  The concept of "love of your life" is and should be a mutable thing -- you'll always love her, and she'll probably always love you in a way, but people move on.  Tripping may allow you two to open up about these things, and move forward towards the next phase of your relationship, which will probably include some letting go of things.




Wise words. :thumbup:


--------------------
1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."


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InvisibleEvangeliontx
Unleaded only

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 167
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: Divided_Sky]
    #2475150 - 03/26/04 12:36 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Trust me on this one, dont try to move the river, and dont run to it.

Respect it and enjoy it from a distance, and if the feeling is truely shared by both of you, she will do the moving.

All you can do and still be in moral goodness is to be yourself like nothing ever happened. Dont dwell on what could have been, treat her like you would any of your other friends and youll be awesome.

Bad bad situations come out of trying to woo a woman that is taken.



My point>>>>>    Lets say she is totaly still in love with you, and jumps your nuts. Well she loves that other guy, but because she likes you she would prove that she lacks the ability to see why that would be wrong and to do things the right way by telling her 25y/o that she cant be with him any more.

Skip a head a few months, (hipothetical) she visits an old friend that happens to be a guy and like the river she is, repeats herself.





That was confusing i know, but i know what its like to love and to have lost (totaly my fault actualy, i dumped her).



Fuck this dramatic shit, bang the fuck out of that chick while your both tripping! :laugh:


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2476404 - 03/26/04 12:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Evangeliontx said:
Fuck this dramatic shit, bang the fuck out of that chick while your both tripping! :laugh:




:eek: :lol:Fuck you man... :lol:


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: filthysock]
    #2476452 - 03/26/04 12:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

See the thing about her is she is the type of girl that hates to be a girl.  Like she'll always tell me, "oh!  I'm such a girl at times" like she hates to be soft and get jealous easily and well basically all the the negative things that girls have as qualities... you know what I mean... anyway, I think, psychologically she stresses this point so much because she recognizes herself being so girly.  And whats typical for a girl?  Well going for older guys, going for the giy with the car and the apartment, going for the guy who can buy things for her...etc... so I think thats what the real situation really is.  I think she has forgotten what its like to really be in love and since she doesnt wait for me she spends her days with this 25 year old of hers... getting all rapped up in his luxurity and wanting to marry him.  But I think the day when I have the car, the apartment and the money and when being a older guy doesnt really matter she'll fall for me again... cause what we shared was heaven, like I cant even explain it, we would make our every day a living paradise just being with eachother, I dont think this 25 year old of hers is giving her this, but i think what he IS giving her is material happyness, stability and a relationship that feels more "real" as where ours bcame more of a fantasy...

Well... I'm comforting myself with this one day theory... :smirk:


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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Offlinevladk
OM Shanti
Male

Registered: 01/28/04
Posts: 66
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: filthysock]
    #2477095 - 03/26/04 03:23 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Dude are you sure she feels/felt the same way? It seems like you are crazy over her but she isn't and it's all in your mind. I hope I'm wrong and if it was ment to be it will happen, otherwise work on yourself and move on.


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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: filthysock]
    #2477263 - 03/26/04 04:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

damn man i was/am in the almost exact same situation as you! girl that i've known since second grade had the most amazing relationship with in high school, best-friends, then shit happened we moved away from each other then she gets with this 23 year old guy (were both 18) and plans on gettin married to him.

we remained friends even though we didn't see each other for a while and had a nasty break-up, always loved each other, both said so everytime we talked, well just recently i moved back where we're from and where she lives because things didn't work out between me and my girlfriend at the time and she kicked me out, i called her and she had just broken it off with the 23 y/o as well. i thought this was so perfect, had all these great thoughts of us getting back together and everything being like it was, a utopia us so wrapped up in love nothing else would matter. so i tripped with her right, just last sunday actually, let me tell you people change. i dunno i still love her more than anything else but it's just not how it used to be man, i love her in a non-romantic way now it seems, like i would die for her but couldn't be in a relationship with her, plus during the trip i just got these vibes that were saying it's not right and to just move on. i've been though so many ups and downs because of this shit it's driving me insane, i dunno i just wish i would have not went into it expecting anything because it just wasn't there, i so want to feel for her the way i used to and when she's gone i do, but when were together it's just not there anymore. i went into it expecting things and when it wasn't there it just got depressing, if only i just wanted friendship and not a relationship things would have been a lot easier, were of course still friends but it has made things akward for the time being, nothing will break the bond between us just it's not a relationship kinda bond anymore. i hope you fare better than i because i've been an emotional wreck over this stuff for a bit now. man just don't go expecting shit, i promise you having a friend that you love and can be completly open with is better than anything in the world and my expectations of relighting the fire we once shared has made things akward between us for the time being and it's so not fuckin worth it. just let things work themself out and don't expect thing to be the same, gluck man.


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: John]
    #2478658 - 03/27/04 07:54 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Thanks. Dude, thats pretty much the situation I'm going through with the loving her but it doesnt get romantic like it used to when I actually am around her, maybe its because I've grown up and doing things such as sleeping with eachother at a huge pile of cotton seeds (real comfy) outside under the stars just seemed more apropriate when we were 14-16, we were more carefree and young and stupid in a good way and the romance just flourished.
Now, last time I met her (which was last summer) I was this nervous paranoid wreck from smoking too much ganja that year and I would never want my girl to see me that way, so I was constantly drinking during that vacation to seem loose and normal. I became a fucking alcoholoic and she hated that... the first days of that vacation sparks would fly like they always did when we kissed, we could kiss for hours. Smoking too much ganja that year made me a lot less sosial and kind of passive with like everything and it even showed while I was drunk so the chemistry wasnt the same between us, but it was while we kissed.
THis is where it got really downhill: One of the last few days of our vacation there was no chemistry while we were kissing, none at all, it was dry as fuck. In my mind I was like "WTF!, I love the girl, but how could this be..." later on I told her it wasnt the same to kisss her and she confirmed she felt the same way during just that kiss. Thats when things between us faded away and I drank even more and well it got really fucked up (in the relationship sense, the friendship was good).
The second last day we had a real deep talk (which she found romantic) as I told her why I had those drinking problems and my paranoia and how I didnt want her to see me that way... we got even closer as friends then, but I just knew the day she leaves things are never going to be the same, she's gonna find some guy fast and try to forget the sorry alcholoic paranoid boyfriend she had... me.
I didnt drink anymore after that vacation and my issues are healed and I told her she saw the absolute worst side of me that could ever be that summer, but I dont think that matters, an impression is an impression and girls take alot more off on impressions than the truth. SO she found herself a healthy problem free older luxurious guy and I'm still the one who's been her soul mate since the age of 14 but who she would rather forget, e-mails are down to once a month now. It sucks ass. Sorry for the long story...


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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OfflineDaturaEnigma
Astronaut

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 313
Loc: Nibiru
Last seen: 7 months, 2 days
Re: Tripping with the love of my life [Re: filthysock]
    #2487904 - 03/31/04 07:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

filthysock i say that if she is not yet married than go for it or you could regret it for the rest of your life. i mean it cant hurt to try. good luck peace


--------------------
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity"-Edgar Allan Poe


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