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Anonymous #1
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Rejection
#24731694 - 10/23/17 01:55 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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How do you deal with it?
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,258
Last seen: 21 hours, 5 minutes
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I once made a game of it in high school. I went around getting as many rejections as I could for one of the high school dances. I avoided girls that had a nonzero chance of saying yes, and ended up dateless, but with a story to laugh about.
Apart from that, I suggest closing your texting app/snapchat/whatever you use to contact the person in question apart from face to face interactions, and go do some work. Or workout. Or go for a hike. Or all of the above. Do something exhausting and draining, physically, mentally, or better yet both.
It gets better the next day.
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Rejection [Re: Kryptos] 1
#24732249 - 10/23/17 05:49 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think you're confusing rejection with humiliation with rejection you don't deal with anything
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Re: Rejection [Re: Konyap]
#24732671 - 10/23/17 08:15 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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You gotta get through the No's to get to the Yes's
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Quote:
Anonymous said: How do you deal with it?
- It gets a little easier when it happens a lot; there's safety in numbers, you could say
- Focusing on other things (hobbies, work) takes your attention off of it
- Realize what it's like to reject in order to better understand and deal with being rejected; it literally helps putting things into perspective
But obviously, rejection sucks and I find it goes both ways. I have been rejected hundreds of times in my life, and I think that's true for most guys who have spent any significant amount of time dating throughout their existence. I'm 37, have had a handful of longer relationships, but in-between, I've dated quite a bit, mostly online. Rejection is part of the package. It usually comes in the form of no response at all, sometimes in a message that simply emanates no interest. Sucks, but it's not that bad. It's a little tougher if it happens face to face as you have to deal with it on the spot and try not to be swept away, but you get used to it. Just don't take it too badly; it's part of the game. Of course, it can be very painful if you've been dating with someone for a while or have been in a longer relationship and you get rejected (or rather, left); those are the instances that can have a significant impact. It's akin to mourning from a psychological perspective and it sometimes takes time (and in a rare case, a whole lot of time) to get over. Not pretty, but again, just part of the game called life.
Although I get rejected more than I reject others (although lately, it seems that it's balancing out for me), the latter also takes its toll. It's just not a fun part of the dating game to have to explain to someone (however briefly or bluntly) that it's just not going to happen. But it does help in understanding what happens when you get rejected yourself. Think of why you reject someone: it's usually not because there's anything wrong with the other person, but they're just not your type. It's not a disqualification of a person, just a sign of not being compatible. Realize this very well when you get rejected yourself: it's not that you're not good enough as a person. You're just not the person the other end is looking for at this moment. No big deal; there's someone else out there who is looking for you. Don't waste time on the ones it wouldn't work out with anyway; getting rejected also means you won't have to invest a lot of time and emotional energy into something that will only wear you down. As annoying/depressing as the rejection itself may seem, it actually saves you a whole lot of trouble down the road.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: Rejection [Re: Konyap]
#24733537 - 10/24/17 08:49 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Konyap said: I think you're confusing rejection with humiliation with rejection you don't deal with anything
Might be different for dudes but I was under the impression that the humiliation is secondary to not being wanted by someone you wanted.
In any case time and good thinking practices heals all.
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Free time is the only time
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36fuckin5
Alchemycologist


Registered: 08/11/03
Posts: 12,079
Loc: Diving into Mystical Territori...
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I came to the realization long ago that most people don't want to have sex with me. Which is alright because I don't want to have sex with most people. Sometimes it matches up, but not usually. It's just not a big deal, and if you don't get weird about it you can make a new friend.
-------------------- Redd Foxx said: If you're offended I don't give a shit and don't come see me no more. Pat The Bunny said: A punk rock song won't ever change the world, but I can tell you about a couple that changed me. bodhisatta said: i recommend common sense and figuring it out. These are the TEKs I use. They're all as cheap and easy as possible, just like your mom.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Rejection [Re: koraks]
#24734971 - 10/24/17 07:38 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: But obviously, rejection sucks and I find it goes both ways.
Amazing post koraks. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I am soooo fucking glad you post and share your wisdom with us here. Thank you.
OP - you'd be wise to listen to this man...
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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SoloTrip
Help Ever, Hurt Never


Registered: 12/30/14
Posts: 1,059
Loc:
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I been rejected a lot but now I am in my early 40's many of those women have let themselves go and I'm still thin and other things going for me like I'm smart, and have to come to realize that I was the real catch all along.
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Quote:
SoloTrip said: I been rejected a lot but now I am in my early 40's many of those women have let themselves go and I'm still thin and other things going for me like I'm smart, and have to come to realize that I was the real catch all along.
Everyone is a catch in their own unique ways. That's why people should just go for it and for their number/a date/snapchat/etc... If the person you're asking out can see your good qualities off the bat (confidence is a good one to have), then they will be more likely to say yes than no.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
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bigbadwoooof
Stranger
Registered: 06/20/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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I murder everyhing breathin.
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GlenWillson
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/17
Posts: 54
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Just take so much rejection that it doesnt feel bad anymore. Constantly approach.
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Kalimano
Similiferencer



Registered: 03/23/17
Posts: 55
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: How do you deal with it?
The strategy I came up with was to dread it to the point of total avoidance.
It didn't work and now I'm alone.
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Prozac
Hotdogs


Registered: 12/15/16
Posts: 859
Loc: Miami, FL
Last seen: 2 hours, 9 minutes
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Time, my friend. Time.
-------------------- https://www.youtube.com/c/ExurbiA <<Check that out for puppy videos.
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Scott Bennett
Lucrative


Registered: 08/05/03
Posts: 17,730
Loc: Toronto
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Spend enough time on these forums and you'll find someone who will love you.
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It's just some nights, you really want to go out, get some hot bitch to dump Goose down your throat and snort coke off a stripper's tits.
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chibiabos
Cosmic Pond Scum



Registered: 03/16/17
Posts: 4,180
Last seen: 10 months, 9 days
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Quote:
Scott Bennett said: Spend enough time on these forums and you'll find someone who will love you.
I'm pretty sure that CookieCrumbs is secretly in love with me.
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DEEZEDBRAH
Stranger
Registered: 11/29/17
Posts: 110
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Anonymous said: How do you deal with it?
ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKS GIVEN.
Tv Show HIMYM mocked the playboy lifestyle giving the strike out analogy. In terms of analytics, have a look yourself.
Strike out| Rank Reggie Jackson 2,597 1 Jim Thome 2,548 2 Adam Dunn 2,379 3 Sammy Sosa 2,306 4 Alex Rodriguez 2,287 5
HIMYM mocked striking out but, it pedals mediocrity, amateur hour, and all that is bush league. WALK ON FUCKING EGG SHELLS. Pander and seek validation. Play it safe. be the sort of cuck male provider that urinates from the seated position.
Ain't doing it right kuz!
I simply hit on everything aesthetic with a pulse. Not interested? Cool story bro. What is her friends saying? Younger sister? Mom? Repeat!
Its simply a numbers game. A girl is either interested, dtf or Next! Furthermore, you have no biological clock. Fertility is on your side. You run into girls from the past and you are happy that conflict was avoided.
Finally, stop asking women out. TELL HER. Statement of intent. As in, WTF is up. What are you doing? Tell her where to meet up. Chill casual. Don't be a cuck and play the dating game. Its like putting pussy on lay away.
REPEAT process over until d stops working or you die. Its Xmas time. NYE around the corner. Perfect time to lay pipe.
Despite the push for gender neutrality (which doesn't work btw), women still are waiting for men to make the first move.
Keep me posted.
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DEEZEDBRAH
Stranger
Registered: 11/29/17
Posts: 110
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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Quote:
FruitOfLife said:
Quote:
SoloTrip said: I been rejected a lot but now I am in my early 40's many of those women have let themselves go and I'm still thin and other things going for me like I'm smart, and have to come to realize that I was the real catch all along.
Everyone is a catch in their own unique ways. That's why people should just go for it and for their number/a date/snapchat/etc... If the person you're asking out can see your good qualities off the bat (confidence is a good one to have), then they will be more likely to say yes than no.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
+ 1
If I saw this post beforehand, it would have saved my wall of text lol
I also dated a puck bunny that was all about that quote. She enjoyed when I would shoot and score
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