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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24705417 - 10/12/17 08:24 PM (9 months, 28 days ago)

WOW...
Well sir, I sure heard you today, that counts as 'talking to another alcoholic' in my book.
In fact that last post got me teared up a bit...
Thank you for sharing.


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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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OfflineProzac
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Drayce]
    #24705455 - 10/12/17 08:41 PM (9 months, 28 days ago)

Quote:

Drayce said:
Quote:

Prozac said:
I've been sober for four days. I'm going to have a drink today because it's my day off. But I continue my journey tomorrow. Not drinking didn't drive me as crazy as I thought it would.




Hey Proxac, welcome,

I didn't have a problem w/drinking either.
It was the odd occasion that other's would even perceive I was, in fact drunk- 'cuz I can 'hold my liquor'
What happened is this:
Those rare occasions where some trouble occurred when drinking came closer together over years.  The intensity of 'troubles' increased, along with the periodicity.
After 4 drunk driving tickets, 2 jail sentences, and lots of money spent to 'fix' the troubles, I didn't have a problem w/drinking.
Didn't have problems every time I drank, but the problems always happened when I was drunk- see the connection?- I didn't want to either.
So, If you're here, I suspect some trouble occurred related to drinking.
In my case, there were many periods of 'no problem' drinking, BUT, the inevitable binge/drunk would happen at some point.
Every encounter with court-ordered therapist/classes/whatever told me that: If I was an alcoholic, these fuck-ups would continue to happen, as long as I continued drinking.
AA says: "why don't you try some controlled drinking, bearing in mind what we told you about alcoholisn'

I was like: 'Yeah- fuck you!

Then there's the 'bottom' the worst experience ever that jolts something in you that orders one to survive.
Bottom could be a ticket, a fight w/spouse, etc... leading up to insanity, institutions, and finally death.
The trick is to catch the disease before that last one, because if you are truly alcoholic, you may not get caught, have issues with family, work, friends (who most likely drink heavily), etc. But, the poor health leading to premature death WILL happen.

It's up to you to decide IF you're alcoholic.
Up to you if you want to do anything about it.


Oh, and if didn't have all the shakes, sweats, convulsions, inability to eat solids so on and so forth, I would assume that you're what those beginning guys called 'scarcely more than a potential alcoholic'
I call those people "miracles" because they caught themselves in time.
~peace~



I've had a problem with drinking since I was 17. I had my first Heineken. I got drunk and I loved it. Since then... I couldn't stop.

I fell in love a few years after... I was heartbroken, and I resorted to drinking. Then cigarettes, and drugs. But after that, I decided AND noticed that I was hurting people, my family and friends.. so I stopped all of that. It was hard, but I stopped. I still drink sometimes. I had a couple of drinks today, but like I said earlier, I will continue my journey tomorrow, which is later... I only drank a couple today because it's my day off.


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"And what if the world goes up in flames tomorrow and you die with that stick still up your ass?!"

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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Prozac]
    #24705608 - 10/12/17 09:45 PM (9 months, 28 days ago)

~peace~



I've had a problem with drinking since I was 17. I had my first Heineken. I got drunk and I loved it. Since then... I couldn't stop.

I fell in love a few years after... I was heartbroken, and I resorted to drinking. Then cigarettes, and drugs. But after that, I decided AND noticed that I was hurting people, my family and friends.. so I stopped all of that. It was hard, but I stopped. I still drink sometimes. I had a couple of drinks today, but like I said earlier, I will continue my journey tomorrow, which is later... I only drank a couple today because it's my day off.




I'm not sure I understand why you're sharing this.
AA's third tradition:  "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking"

I appreciate that you're wanting to minimize whatever bad stuff happens when you drink- But-
It's not "Cut down a bit, Only on weekends, or When nobodies looking," or whatever...
There might be other 12-step programs that advocate moderation for addiction, but I do not know of any personally.
I mean- WTF?- just look at Vinsue's share above ^^
Starting drinking again kills us.

It's not the caboose that gets you when the train hits- it's the engine- the first one.
IDK what else to say.
Good luck?


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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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InvisibleThayendanegeaS
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24706467 - 10/13/17 09:21 AM (9 months, 27 days ago)

It's always great to hear from you Vince...praying that those liver tests come out better than worse....the liver can heal itself a bit. But, if they say you need a transplant...do everything they say to do right away..do not delay. My business partner waited too long and fucked around with their protocol until he was too sick to have the surgery. He passed away last January.

Congratulations to anyone who is alcoholic and has not had a drink today! You are a miracle.


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Invisiblevinsue
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24707602 - 10/13/17 06:18 PM (9 months, 27 days ago)

Well the ultrasound report shows bilateral pleural effusion and trace perihepatic ascites
which would explain the beer belly I've developed. It feels like I'm always full, even bloated feeling.
Plus my chest, back, ribs/kidney area muscles hurt all the time, and I have shortness of breath after
minimal exertion(3 flights of steps).

I didn't have this 6 months ago. My weight dropped to 145 from a normal 160 or so
and I was eating extra and staying active, trying to put on some pounds.
In the last 2 months or so I got back to 160, but it looks like it's all in my waist.
I've also been experiencing too much daytime (and nighttime) sleeping, bad moods,
confusion, forgetfulness and ammonia taste on my breath.
I thought some of this had to do with me tapering off my prescribed paxil, welbutrin and neurontin.

Might be signs of Hepatic encephalopathy.
We'll see what the doc says when I see him in about 10 days,
Treatment for this fluid retention might be putting a tube in and draining it and/or medication.
I'm certainly not going to loose any sleep over this,( lol, I can easily sleep 12 hrs a day )

I'm going to see if there's a liver disease support group near me(or on line)
I also need to share this with my AA home group.
Chances are someone there knows exactly what I am or will be going through.
I know a couple members there had Hep C, probably someone's has cirrhosis too.

Anyway, I believe I'll put this in Gods hands,
I'll continue to do my part and just try to maintain a healthy, sober lifestyle.

:hippie: . . . :peace:


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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24708081 - 10/13/17 10:28 PM (9 months, 27 days ago)

I'm just listening today.
Thank you for sharing.


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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24713678 - 10/16/17 11:19 AM (9 months, 24 days ago)

Yeah Vince those symptoms don't sound positive. They can drain your gut with a tube in the dr's. office to at least give you some comfort.
Look into taking milk thistle supplements also.....there is a lot of positive research on this helping regenerate liver cells that has been accepted by the medical community.

Like i said before, if your doc recommends a transplant...get on the protocol ASAP. They may require you go into a 28 day treatment program just to prove that you are alcohol free. In any case, there is a medical board that you'll need to work with to approve everything. There is also a six month wait just to get on the list for a new liver that you will undergo tests to make sure you are ok for the surgery and to prove that you aren't drinking. This whole process will test your endurance in every possible way.

Hang in there Vince, God didn't get you this far just to take you back now.Prayers to you! You can get through this shit.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24727058 - 10/21/17 03:16 PM (9 months, 19 days ago)

Drayce alcoholic-

I've been hanging back wondering about Vince.
Never met the guy, probably never will, but still feel a bond to another alcoholic who is still struggling no matter the struggle today.

I give thanks for my higher power everyday for helping me keep sober, guide me on the next right thing to do, and try to keep that 'constant contact' we hear about in the rooms- around the tables.

Turned 48 yesterday.  I can't say I have wasted half my life, but I can say I have been wasted half of my life.

Constant contact to me- means simply, Mindfulness.
The state of being aware of my emotions, feeling, actions, empathy, and all my senses experienced right now.  I was reading 'Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm' recently, where the author talks about going by how things 'feel' to you.  Opening up your awareness such that you're attuned to the feelings you have about something.  I read lots of books.  Always have, except for the first 2 years or so, I just could not sit still and/or focus on the words in front of me.  It was awful, like losing one your best friends-to me.

How do I feel when I walk into a room full of alcoholics?
How does it feel when I'm shopping and see, smell, and taste virtually tasteless 'fresh' produce?  Ect,. ect, so on and so forth...

Gave it a try, and was not surprised when I didn't like what I was feeling in most spaces where most humans do their everyday thing.  Walking in the woods I did not have that negative vibe so much- but seeing-FEELing- what is going on can be distressing.  Example: What used to be a simple footpath through a small green space is now paved. Freeway expansion construction is going on over that foot/bike path in my neighborhood.  They've been working on it for a few years already and still not close to finishing, plus- our politicians have gutted the funds needed to complete most of the stuff that is already happening now. Sometimes I have the urge to swipe some of the stuff they leave around the work-site(s).  Boy, I could use that thick weed barrier stuff and some good planks and.... but the difference today is- I may think stupid, but I don't act on stupid.  Anyway...
Arrggh!
That's a tiny little speck on our town even less to the state, and less and less of an impact to the whole of earth, but once I get on that track, I'm feeling the weight of centuries of forebears wreaking havoc on earth, humanity, etc, etc...  It becomes overwhelming and I need to step back from that, get back my immediate conscious contact, and believe that what is- is, and what can I do about it if anything right now.  Breathe in, breathe out.

Then I go right back to the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen

It works for anybody, even ex-Christians as well as anyone else with at least half an open mind or more.

So, the newly sobered read this and are thinking.  WTF is all this crap about- I can't eat solid food w/out puking and shit my pants yesterday.  I'm shaking and I hurt all over and this amazingly beautiful woman keeps using her hands to pull her hair back and I can't stand it anymore- How in the hell can this help me?!?!
They told me 'it will get better'.  I'm ready to stab the next person that says that, or any other of their stupid sayings.

That ^^ is exactly what I was thinking while people shared their bit in the first groups I went to.  Of course, I usually stuck with 'first-step- groups and 'beginner' meetings, but when I started AA I went to several meetings a day just so I had somewhere to be in a safe place.  If I would have spoken up and said: "I'm new & really need help" that's all, most likely things would not have happened that way.  But- alcoholics aren't going to be smart like that.  Too much pride & EGO.

Vince, I hope things go more for the better than the worse for you.

Thank God for the people in AA.


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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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OfflineVroomerMcZoomers
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Drayce]
    #24731867 - 10/23/17 05:05 PM (9 months, 17 days ago)

I was an extreme alcoholic for years.  Drunk all the fucken time.  It ruined my life.

I couldn't quit.

Then I found out about ibogaine and it cured me.  Ive been sober for 3 years now and have 0 cravings or anything.  I can even be around people who are drinking and it doesn't affect me.

That stuff is amazing.  Highly recommended.

You can buy it online at ibogaworld.  It takes a bit of preparation to do it safely.  Do your research.


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                                                      "If the goal is for every human being to lead a dignified life - not to mention have a planet on which to do so - then the exploitation that defines the profit system has to end" -some guy


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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: VroomerMcZoomers]
    #24731949 - 10/23/17 05:41 PM (9 months, 17 days ago)

Quote:

VroomerMcZoomers said:
I was an extreme alcoholic for years.  Drunk all the fucken time.  It ruined my life.

I couldn't quit.

Then I found out about ibogaine and it cured me.  Ive been sober for 3 years now and have 0 cravings or anything.  I can even be around people who are drinking and it doesn't affect me.

That stuff is amazing.  Highly recommended.

You can buy it online at ibogaworld.  It takes a bit of preparation to do it safely.  Do your research.




Yeah, I definitely wanted something like ibogaine the times I was withdrawing from opiates, but it never worked out that way.

I'm glad it worked for you.


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:beer::potleaf::paperbag::mushroom::lsdabc::mushroom::rail2::dancingbear::pill2::oc80mg::meff::alprazolam::drwario::cubie::mushdance::sporedrop:
“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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InvisibleThayendanegeaS
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Drayce] * 1
    #24809839 - 11/27/17 04:25 PM (8 months, 13 days ago)

I hope everyone made it through Thanksgiving without a drink. This is a very stressful time of year for anyone, especially someone struggling with sobriety. It's a good idea to pick up the pace of meetings and to stay in touch with your sponsors during this time of year.:sunny::peace:


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] * 1
    #24819771 - 12/01/17 08:29 PM (8 months, 9 days ago)

It was a breeze for me -- spent the holiday with my boyfriends family in GA and they don't really drink. No one in the family had a drink the entire time we were together actually. :awesomenod:

Just about 40 more days to go until I can say I made it through 2 years worth of holidays alcohol free!!!!

:omgawesome:


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #24820785 - 12/02/17 10:57 AM (8 months, 8 days ago)

My problem: I binge drink in the evening

My question: How do you cope with the boredom that is left when you don't drink?


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Patlal]
    #24820848 - 12/02/17 11:30 AM (8 months, 8 days ago)

You have to force yourself to do something different during the time when you normally drink -- sign up for a class or do something like exercise/meditate instead. When I quit (for good) in January of 2016, I went to a yoga class practically every single night, in the evening when I'd typically be drinking. Then I paid for online meditation instruction that required me to be on the cushion every day at 7am.

Or go to meetings. Anything to get yourself out of the pattern.


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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Patlal]
    #24822680 - 12/03/17 01:52 AM (8 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
My problem: I binge drink in the evening

My question: How do you cope with the boredom that is left when you don't drink?




For me, Everything i did i did while drinking.  When I was not drinking - at my job- I was usually either hung-over or on some other drug.
So, when I stopped-  I had no idea of what to do in the next 10 minutes much less the next 24 hours.  I was asked 'What do you love to do, what are your passions'?
I realized I had no fucking clue.  I went to meetings everyday all day and tried to involve myself with people in 'the program' all the time.  Some people find out what their passions are or the activities that give meaning and pleasure to life early on.

I was not one of them, unfortunately.  looking back, it's clear that I was grasping ideas and old thoughts, habits, associations, etc. and would just NOT let them go.  Everyone told me: "Just le go".  I'm like 'WTF are you talking about?!!

Now I know.  I cultivated many interests in diverse and eclectic subjects.
 
The single most powerful 'thing' I did was getting into mindfulness meditation.  The ability to be 'present' and aware of my body and my thoughts and my actions in everyday activities and in everything I do has given me a whole new perspective on life itself.

My sponsor(s) always suggest 'getting involved in service work'.  Help another alcoholic.  Volunteer.  Work in the community.  Ect. ect. so on and so forth....  I hated being told to do any of that shit and flatly refused at first and found no benefit when I did try.  it all goes back to my preconceived perceptions, expectations, ideas, etc.  that I would not let go of.

yogabunny says she found a solution in yoga and meditation.  That is absolutely awesome!

AA is a 'program of action'.  I understand now that our beings learn by our actual bodily movements in conjuction with our thoughts at that time.  It re-wires our brain and body in a healthy way.

It will get better.  It takes persistence though.


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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Patlal]
    #24822726 - 12/03/17 02:18 AM (8 months, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
My problem: I binge drink in the evening

My question: How do you cope with the boredom that is left when you don't drink?



Ponder how much the act of drinking has gradually yet profoundly caused you to change your day to day actions.  I look at it as a legit threat like some demon trying to distract me from reaching the “goal”, legitimately giving it a life and personality..  you can’t get your seconds back.


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"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24825288 - 12/04/17 12:16 PM (8 months, 6 days ago)

Congratulations YB :hug: You are awesome!

@Patial...like YB said...pretty simple, it seems. Find something you feel passionate about and replace it. I first tried this with running when I was in my late twenties. It worked wonders for several years until my hip went out, even ran a couple pretty fast marathons. Problem was, I was super depressed when I couldn't run anymore and the drinking/ drugging picked up significantly to the point that I started getting DUI's, failed marriage, shit really started hitting the fan.

I eventually turned to AA because I was out of options and the courts were telling me to go. I resented being told what to do , (which I believe is a common trait among a lot of alcoholics) and stayed on the fringes of AA for 10 more years...all the while, getting deeper and deeper into that abyss of active  alcoholism while trying all the shortcuts that were out there...wound up drunk and alone in a jail cell. This is when I finally asked God for help.

Got out of jail and started comparing myself in at meetings instead of "out" like before...I heard my story told by another drunk...synchronicities started happening both during and outside of meetings.I started praying every morning for this new power I had found to help keep me sober and to do it's (God's) will, not mine.

Some times on weekends, I would go to 3 or 4 meetings a day, just to keep my mind off of drinking. I eventually became my group's institution rep and then took on other institution commitments for the next 15 years. I found that watching someone get sober was the most gratifying and exciting thing that I had ever seen. I also found that if anyone want's to know what spirituality is all about, they need only give a little of themselves.....they will feel this warmth that I have felt.

I have recently cut back on my commitments and meetings for no real good reason...maybe I was seeing too much of the dark part of alcoholism...I've had several pigeons die from this disease over the years and it takes a toll on us, I suppose. Just gotta keep in mind that we cannot get anybody drunk or get them sober...that is between them and God.

I will end by saying that AA saved my life and brought back joy to living as well as peace of mind and so much more. If anyone is really struggling and wants to talk just please  :pm: me.:sunny::peace:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleMush 4 Brains
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24825603 - 12/04/17 03:02 PM (8 months, 6 days ago)

I really enjoy your posts, and I believe you're spot on about not being told what to do. Stubbornness to the max.

I've been struggling quite a bit this year. My mom died, ended a nasty relationship, and I started up drinking again for a bit. Truly thought I lost my mind for a while

I'm like 4-5 days dry now. Not a long time but I feel like things are finally changing for the better. I've been pouring myself into art, physical fitness, work, and finding a new job.

I can get through the day no problem, it's at the end of the day I get cravings to run out and grab a pint. I used to think well at least it's not opiates (which I've been heavily dependent on in the past), but I know it all leads to the same place for me...death

Lately ive been drawing every night for hours to relax. It's highly satisfying. Here's last night's work. Zombie Cats! I have a bunch of canvases and ideas for crazy scenes



Edited by Mush 4 Brains (12/04/17 03:12 PM)


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Patlal]
    #24825642 - 12/04/17 03:20 PM (8 months, 6 days ago)

smoke weed, man. My dad quit alcohol for a while, and hen he felt the urge to drink he would just smoke weed until he forgot he wanted a drink


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
    #24825772 - 12/04/17 04:02 PM (8 months, 6 days ago)

That's an awesome drawing...you have talent! There is no magic bullet that can take everything away and make things easier. The program of AA is what brought me some peace of mind.

First....admitting that the shit tore me up and that I could not out think the cravings...alcohol always won.

next...entertaining the thought that there might be something out there bigger than me that may help if I ask

Ask for help from that something and mean it, even get down on my knees and ask (even if I wasn't sure it would help).

Those were the first 3 steps that kept me sober for a couple years....then came the personal inventory and then the amends...this all plays into peace of mind.

good luck to you! and don't hesitate to shoot me a pm if you want to talk.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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