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OfflineDrayce
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Registered: 10/07/17
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Loc: Gaia
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24705417 - 10/12/17 08:24 PM (9 days, 12 hours ago)

WOW...
Well sir, I sure heard you today, that counts as 'talking to another alcoholic' in my book.
In fact that last post got me teared up a bit...
Thank you for sharing.


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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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OfflineProzac
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Registered: 12/15/16
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Drayce]
    #24705455 - 10/12/17 08:41 PM (9 days, 12 hours ago)

Quote:

Drayce said:
Quote:

Prozac said:
I've been sober for four days. I'm going to have a drink today because it's my day off. But I continue my journey tomorrow. Not drinking didn't drive me as crazy as I thought it would.




Hey Proxac, welcome,

I didn't have a problem w/drinking either.
It was the odd occasion that other's would even perceive I was, in fact drunk- 'cuz I can 'hold my liquor'
What happened is this:
Those rare occasions where some trouble occurred when drinking came closer together over years.  The intensity of 'troubles' increased, along with the periodicity.
After 4 drunk driving tickets, 2 jail sentences, and lots of money spent to 'fix' the troubles, I didn't have a problem w/drinking.
Didn't have problems every time I drank, but the problems always happened when I was drunk- see the connection?- I didn't want to either.
So, If you're here, I suspect some trouble occurred related to drinking.
In my case, there were many periods of 'no problem' drinking, BUT, the inevitable binge/drunk would happen at some point.
Every encounter with court-ordered therapist/classes/whatever told me that: If I was an alcoholic, these fuck-ups would continue to happen, as long as I continued drinking.
AA says: "why don't you try some controlled drinking, bearing in mind what we told you about alcoholisn'

I was like: 'Yeah- fuck you!

Then there's the 'bottom' the worst experience ever that jolts something in you that orders one to survive.
Bottom could be a ticket, a fight w/spouse, etc... leading up to insanity, institutions, and finally death.
The trick is to catch the disease before that last one, because if you are truly alcoholic, you may not get caught, have issues with family, work, friends (who most likely drink heavily), etc. But, the poor health leading to premature death WILL happen.

It's up to you to decide IF you're alcoholic.
Up to you if you want to do anything about it.


Oh, and if didn't have all the shakes, sweats, convulsions, inability to eat solids so on and so forth, I would assume that you're what those beginning guys called 'scarcely more than a potential alcoholic'
I call those people "miracles" because they caught themselves in time.
~peace~



I've had a problem with drinking since I was 17. I had my first Heineken. I got drunk and I loved it. Since then... I couldn't stop.

I fell in love a few years after... I was heartbroken, and I resorted to drinking. Then cigarettes, and drugs. But after that, I decided AND noticed that I was hurting people, my family and friends.. so I stopped all of that. It was hard, but I stopped. I still drink sometimes. I had a couple of drinks today, but like I said earlier, I will continue my journey tomorrow, which is later... I only drank a couple today because it's my day off.


--------------------
Hotdogs. I like them.


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OfflineDrayce
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Prozac]
    #24705608 - 10/12/17 09:45 PM (9 days, 11 hours ago)

~peace~



I've had a problem with drinking since I was 17. I had my first Heineken. I got drunk and I loved it. Since then... I couldn't stop.

I fell in love a few years after... I was heartbroken, and I resorted to drinking. Then cigarettes, and drugs. But after that, I decided AND noticed that I was hurting people, my family and friends.. so I stopped all of that. It was hard, but I stopped. I still drink sometimes. I had a couple of drinks today, but like I said earlier, I will continue my journey tomorrow, which is later... I only drank a couple today because it's my day off.




I'm not sure I understand why you're sharing this.
AA's third tradition:  "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking"

I appreciate that you're wanting to minimize whatever bad stuff happens when you drink- But-
It's not "Cut down a bit, Only on weekends, or When nobodies looking," or whatever...
There might be other 12-step programs that advocate moderation for addiction, but I do not know of any personally.
I mean- WTF?- just look at Vinsue's share above ^^
Starting drinking again kills us.

It's not the caboose that gets you when the train hits- it's the engine- the first one.
IDK what else to say.
Good luck?


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:beer::potleaf::paperbag::mushroom::lsdabc::mushroom::rail2::dancingbear:::perc::oc80mg::meff::alprazolam::drwario::cubie::mushdance::sporedrop:
“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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InvisibleThayendanegeaS
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Registered: 02/20/12
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24706467 - 10/13/17 09:21 AM (8 days, 23 hours ago)

It's always great to hear from you Vince...praying that those liver tests come out better than worse....the liver can heal itself a bit. But, if they say you need a transplant...do everything they say to do right away..do not delay. My business partner waited too long and fucked around with their protocol until he was too sick to have the surgery. He passed away last January.

Congratulations to anyone who is alcoholic and has not had a drink today! You are a miracle.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Invisiblevinsue
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24707602 - 10/13/17 06:18 PM (8 days, 14 hours ago)

Well the ultrasound report shows bilateral pleural effusion and trace perihepatic ascites
which would explain the beer belly I've developed. It feels like I'm always full, even bloated feeling.
Plus my chest, back, ribs/kidney area muscles hurt all the time, and I have shortness of breath after
minimal exertion(3 flights of steps).

I didn't have this 6 months ago. My weight dropped to 145 from a normal 160 or so
and I was eating extra and staying active, trying to put on some pounds.
In the last 2 months or so I got back to 160, but it looks like it's all in my waist.
I've also been experiencing too much daytime (and nighttime) sleeping, bad moods,
confusion, forgetfulness and ammonia taste on my breath.
I thought some of this had to do with me tapering off my prescribed paxil, welbutrin and neurontin.

Might be signs of Hepatic encephalopathy.
We'll see what the doc says when I see him in about 10 days,
Treatment for this fluid retention might be putting a tube in and draining it and/or medication.
I'm certainly not going to loose any sleep over this,( lol, I can easily sleep 12 hrs a day )

I'm going to see if there's a liver disease support group near me(or on line)
I also need to share this with my AA home group.
Chances are someone there knows exactly what I am or will be going through.
I know a couple members there had Hep C, probably someone's has cirrhosis too.

Anyway, I believe I'll put this in Gods hands,
I'll continue to do my part and just try to maintain a healthy, sober lifestyle.

:hippie: . . . :peace:


--------------------
"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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OfflineDrayce
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Registered: 10/07/17
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Last seen: 7 hours, 43 minutes
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24708081 - 10/13/17 10:28 PM (8 days, 10 hours ago)

I'm just listening today.
Thank you for sharing.


--------------------
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“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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InvisibleThayendanegeaS
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Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 6,456
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #24713678 - 10/16/17 11:19 AM (5 days, 21 hours ago)

Yeah Vince those symptoms don't sound positive. They can drain your gut with a tube in the dr's. office to at least give you some comfort.
Look into taking milk thistle supplements also.....there is a lot of positive research on this helping regenerate liver cells that has been accepted by the medical community.

Like i said before, if your doc recommends a transplant...get on the protocol ASAP. They may require you go into a 28 day treatment program just to prove that you are alcohol free. In any case, there is a medical board that you'll need to work with to approve everything. There is also a six month wait just to get on the list for a new liver that you will undergo tests to make sure you are ok for the surgery and to prove that you aren't drinking. This whole process will test your endurance in every possible way.

Hang in there Vince, God didn't get you this far just to take you back now.Prayers to you! You can get through this shit.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineDrayce
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Registered: 10/07/17
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24727058 - 10/21/17 03:16 PM (17 hours, 35 minutes ago)

Drayce alcoholic-

I've been hanging back wondering about Vince.
Never met the guy, probably never will, but still feel a bond to another alcoholic who is still struggling no matter the struggle today.

I give thanks for my higher power everyday for helping me keep sober, guide me on the next right thing to do, and try to keep that 'constant contact' we hear about in the rooms- around the tables.

Turned 48 yesterday.  I can't say I have wasted half my life, but I can say I have been wasted half of my life.

Constant contact to me- means simply, Mindfulness.
The state of being aware of my emotions, feeling, actions, empathy, and all my senses experienced right now.  I was reading 'Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm' recently, where the author talks about going by how things 'feel' to you.  Opening up your awareness such that you're attuned to the feelings you have about something.  I read lots of books.  Always have, except for the first 2 years or so, I just could not sit still and/or focus on the words in front of me.  It was awful, like losing one your best friends-to me.

How do I feel when I walk into a room full of alcoholics?
How does it feel when I'm shopping and see, smell, and taste virtually tasteless 'fresh' produce?  Ect,. ect, so on and so forth...

Gave it a try, and was not surprised when I didn't like what I was feeling in most spaces where most humans do their everyday thing.  Walking in the woods I did not have that negative vibe so much- but seeing-FEELing- what is going on can be distressing.  Example: What used to be a simple footpath through a small green space is now paved. Freeway expansion construction is going on over that foot/bike path in my neighborhood.  They've been working on it for a few years already and still not close to finishing, plus- our politicians have gutted the funds needed to complete most of the stuff that is already happening now. Sometimes I have the urge to swipe some of the stuff they leave around the work-site(s).  Boy, I could use that thick weed barrier stuff and some good planks and.... but the difference today is- I may think stupid, but I don't act on stupid.  Anyway...
Arrggh!
That's a tiny little speck on our town even less to the state, and less and less of an impact to the whole of earth, but once I get on that track, I'm feeling the weight of centuries of forebears wreaking havoc on earth, humanity, etc, etc...  It becomes overwhelming and I need to step back from that, get back my immediate conscious contact, and believe that what is- is, and what can I do about it if anything right now.  Breathe in, breathe out.

Then I go right back to the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen

It works for anybody, even ex-Christians as well as anyone else with at least half an open mind or more.

So, the newly sobered read this and are thinking.  WTF is all this crap about- I can't eat solid food w/out puking and shit my pants yesterday.  I'm shaking and I hurt all over and this amazingly beautiful woman keeps using her hands to pull her hair back and I can't stand it anymore- How in the hell can this help me?!?!
They told me 'it will get better'.  I'm ready to stab the next person that says that, or any other of their stupid sayings.

That ^^ is exactly what I was thinking while people shared their bit in the first groups I went to.  Of course, I usually stuck with 'first-step- groups and 'beginner' meetings, but when I started AA I went to several meetings a day just so I had somewhere to be in a safe place.  If I would have spoken up and said: "I'm new & really need help" that's all, most likely things would not have happened that way.  But- alcoholics aren't going to be smart like that.  Too much pride & EGO.

Vince, I hope things go more for the better than the worse for you.

Thank God for the people in AA.


--------------------
:beer::potleaf::paperbag::mushroom::lsdabc::mushroom::rail2::dancingbear:::perc::oc80mg::meff::alprazolam::drwario::cubie::mushdance::sporedrop:
“The moment is where we spend most of our time.” – Terence McKenna


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