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Anonymous #1
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 Is revenge immoral? 
#24686694 - 10/05/17 06:53 PM (6 years, 6 months ago) |
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I have a "friend" that's a a piece of shit. I've been his best friend since we were little kids and in recent years has turned out to be a dick. Like a huge douchebag. Would you consider revenge other than harming family members and murder immoral?
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Anonymous #2
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IMO this really does deppend on what you mean by "a piece of shit" lol but say he fucked your mum and infected her with HIV just so he could tell you and say it was a joke then yeah he is a piece of shit and revenge is sweet but say he forgot to call you on your birthday because his dog died then no, some things you just have to forgive and forget.
Edited by Anonymous (10/09/17 06:17 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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Well in total I'd say he owes close to 5k to friends and family including me that he'll never pay back. He's just not a good friend and only cares about himself and uses people, and thinks he has a right to do so. He sold heroin and said shit like I should get this person addicted to make money. He also always says shit to hurt people's feelings and make them feel like shit. I honestly think he's a bipolar sociopath because he can go from being the nicest person to being this jerk off that tries to chop you down especially in front of other people.
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Anonymous #3
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It'd be a lot easier to just cut this person out of your life.
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Anonymous #1
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I already did that I just wanna fuck him over cause he's a dick.
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned -buddhist proverb
I have found that I am quite happy in life, I have amazing loving friends, I enjoy my work, and live well otherwise, a negative thought will nearly never cross my mind.
Now, if somebody wrongs me, and I indulge in thoughts of anger, negativity, and revenge, I have just brought all of those things into my conscious stream, it has disrupted my positive and happy existence, which is exactly what was wanted by those attempting to enact harm on me.
Taking revenge Will not correct the unjust actions which have already taken place, it Will only drive you into committing such negative actions yourself, bringing only more negativity and unhappiness into your life.
Quote:
The worse of the two is one, who, when abused, retaliates.
One who does not retaliate, wins a battle hard to win.
Samyutta Nikāya 1.188
It takes far more strength to just let things go. If a person is causing you problems why not just remove them from your life? Do not speak with them, do not respond to them, just ignore them...or even better, show those who mistreat you love, if you attempt to fight fire with fire all you will receive is a much bigger fire, you do not fight hate with hate, you combat hate with love.
Quote:
27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.…
Luke 6:28
Mathew 5:44
-ibex-trismegistus
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
I already did that I just wanna fuck him over cause he's a dick.
You are saying that this other person is the negative party who deserves some type of retribution for his actions, when in reality this person is not in your life anymore, and your reasons for wanting revenge sound more like you simply disliking an individual, then you are trying to justify you wanting to attack this person by claiming it was "revenge" for something. ...objectively, you are the "dick"
...And this person used to be your friend?
Jeez, it sounds like you are a really good person.
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Anonymous #1
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Well ya I'm a dick that's why I want revenge lol. I think your mistaken on my relationship with him though literally been his best friend since second grade we were really close. Took care of him when he was broke and down. Which is what really is getting to me. I've been waiting for karma to catch up with him but it never does and when he keeps trying to get shit out of me and showing off money taking jabs at the people he owes money to. People come to me since I was closest to him and talk about getting back at him and shit. It just really annoys me how he could be that arrogant and never pay for the shit he's done.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned -buddhist proverb
I have found that I am quite happy in life, I have amazing loving friends, I enjoy my work, and live well otherwise, a negative thought will nearly never cross my mind.
Now, if somebody wrongs me, and I indulge in thoughts of anger, negativity, and revenge, I have just brought all of those things into my conscious stream, it has disrupted my positive and happy existence, which is exactly what was wanted by those attempting to enact harm on me.
Taking revenge Will not correct the unjust actions which have already taken place, it Will only drive you into committing such negative actions yourself, bringing only more negativity and unhappiness into your life.
Quote:
The worse of the two is one, who, when abused, retaliates.
One who does not retaliate, wins a battle hard to win.
Samyutta Nikāya 1.188
It takes far more strength to just let things go. If a person is causing you problems why not just remove them from your life? Do not speak with them, do not respond to them, just ignore them...or even better, show those who mistreat you love, if you attempt to fight fire with fire all you will receive is a much bigger fire, you do not fight hate with hate, you combat hate with love.
Quote:
27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.…
Luke 6:28
Mathew 5:44
-ibex-trismegistus
Good advice I might just let him sink his own ship...
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Anonymous #5
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do you know what's the best revenge? Live a better life and make him a distant memory.
His shit will catch up to him, just give it a little more time. People do get away with shit for MUCH longer than they should, but check him out in 5 years and see what happened in his life.
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Anonymous #4
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I have had to deal with people that I do not even know claiming that they knew me, or that we were friends, when in reality we were barley even distant acquaintances, if even that.
these people would go around telling everybody things about me that never even happened, often with the intent of making me look bad in some way, it's actually kind of creepy when I hear these stories because you think "where do these stories come from?, is this person just sitting around fantasizing that they know me then telling people about it?"
I have thought a good deal about why these people would do things, and the excerpt below actually explain 's a good deal:
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What lies behind this tendency to put others down? One of my teachers, Geshe Ngawang Dhargye, used to say, "You get together with a friend and talk about the faults of this person and the misdeeds of that one. Then you go on to discuss others’ mistakes and negative qualities. In the end, the two of you feel good because you’ve agreed you’re the two best people in the world."
Another situation in which we speak about others’ faults is when we’re angry with them. Here we may talk about their faults for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s to win other people over to our side. "If I tell these other people about the argument Bob and I had and convince them that he is wrong and I’m right before Bob can tell them about the argument, then they’ll side with me." Underlying that is the thought, "If others think I’m right, then I must be." It’s a weak attempt to convince ourselves we’re okay when we haven’t spent the time honestly evaluating our own motivations and actions.
At other times, we may talk about others’ faults because we’re jealous of them. We want to be respected and appreciated as much as they are. In the back of our minds, there’s the thought, "If others see the bad qualities of the people I think are better than me, then instead of honoring and helping them, they’ll praise and assist me." Or we think, "If the boss thinks that person is unqualified, she’ll promote me instead." Does this strategy win others’ respect and appreciation? Hardly.
Some people "psychoanalyze" others, using their half-baked knowledge of pop psychology to put someone down. Comments such as "he’s borderline" or "she’s paranoid" make it sound as if we have authoritative insight into someone’s internal workings, when in reality we disdain their faults because our ego was affronted. http://thubtenchodron.org/2011/06/harmonious-speech/
...despite all of this, I still confront these people with kindness and love any time I must encounter them.
All though these people lie and slamderize me, and obviously have malicious intentions towards me with no real justification, if I ever run into them I show them kindness and respect, and if I do not run into them than they would not cross my mind.
I am reminded of the story of saint nectarios:
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Because of his holy virtues, because of the spotless life that he led, because of his holy sermons, and because of all those things which made him stand out, immediately malice arose among his colleagues who were also Metropolitans of the See of Alexandria, and amongst the bishops and higher clergy. They did not like St. Nectarios because he was different from them. For this reason they slandered him to the Patriarch, Sophronios, saying that the holy Father had his eye upon the Patriarchal Throne, because he had this "false show of piety," as they called it. They did not want to recognize his true virtue and unmatched spiritual beauty. Instead they said that all his virtue was only a show so that he would be considered holy by the people. He was accused of using his popularity with the people to dethrone the Patriarch. Since our Holy Father was truly so popular with the people, the Patriarch was easily convinced that he was in danger. For if the people rose up, truly Nectarios would have much power. Little did they know the true worth of the man. Little did they understand that he was not a proud man, and not ambitious, as they were, for positions and for power and for glory. The Saint made no attempt to justify himself but placed all his hope in the promise of Christ who has said: Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account (Matt. 5:11).
http://www.stnectarioschurch.org/the-life-of-st-nectarios.html
Love is the core of my spirituality and being, and is the basis for all my actions, as I said before if you try to fight fire with fire you will only end up with a larger fire, you must confront hate with love.
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Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account (Matt. 5:11).
Below the Buddha discusses the tendency towards revenge:
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The Blessed Buddha once said:
If in your domain the enemy has hurt you, why torture your own mind?
This mind lies not in the enemy's territory!
Your kind family you left all behind, why don't you leave your enemy also,
and the hate, that brings so much torment?
We truly entertain and play with this gnawing anger, which brings any good
advantage one wish to purify into sole ruin, complete fiasco and full failure!
Can there thus exist any greater fool, than one engulfed in retaliating anger?
https://what-buddha-said.net/drops/IV/No_Revenge.htm
One should always strive for clarity regarding any situation before entering into action:
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The road to hell is paved with good intentions but it is not paved with clarity.” -terence mckenna
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Anonymous #4
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-ibex
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Anonymous #4
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Though just a quick piece of advice, when you decide to seek "revenge" you should be incredibly careful, when you mess with peoples lives you are taking a huge risk, it's a risk I would never take, well, for one it's not in my nature to be mean to others, even those who truly deserve it, but haven't you ever thought that eventually you might say or do the wrong thing to the wrong person and end up having something horrible happen to yourself and anyone else involved? You don't ever worry about any of the people you have victimized ever deciding to come after you?
Its another reason why I don't treat others poorly for no reason, well, aside from the fact that it is my tendency to treat everybody encounter with kindness and compassion, but also because I know that it's a messed up world, and that the people in it are capable of truly horrible things. When you live a moral life and treat those around you with kindness and respect you figure you would be safe in this regard, however, even Christ was not safe from the Romans, you could have never done a single thing that ever hurt a single person and still get nailed to a cross. I guess it's the nature of those like yourself, you see others who you perceive as harmless or weak and you first reaction is to "nail them to a cross". I pray that your judgement keeps you from making a misperception in this regard, historically those with such a mindstate and desire for unnecessary victimization of others (even if they call it revenge and fabricate some nonsense as to why they were just in seeking it ) have eventually had to reap the karma which they had sown. In this life or the next, you are taking foolish and pointless risks.
I take it you are not a spiritual person? Likely an atheist, no?
Regardless, morals are not a bad tool for this existence, and rather than seeking revenge why not show love to those who you have singled out? Why not do something to help people and make the world into a better place? Why create more misery and suffering? Is it because seeing bad things happen to people who you do not like brings you joy? Perhaps putting down such people gives you needed self esteem? Perhaps you think that it is ok to ruin people's lives for your own sick amusement, who knows.
Its been a fun creative writing project this far, I just think its bad mental hygiene to linger too long around negativity.
I am reminded of John Perry Barlow speaking about the hells angels at grateful dead shows, the hells Angel said "I don't think good means much without evil", and John replied "this is true, but you do not always need to have a seat for evil at the table"
I know that the negative is an essential part of this coincidence of opposites that we call existence, but I also know that it doesn't do much good to intentionally invite the negative into your life. I also understand that you can not simply ignore the negative, that is impossible, but you can limit your exposure to it.
Which is why I said it is bad mental hygiene to linger around the negative, or negative people, it's bad mental hygiene to give much thought to the negative, unless it's absolutely necessary, so this project is over, the negativity surrounding this thread is enough of a contamination.
Be careful, and be safe. If you are a spiritual person it might help to look into what spirituality says about revenge, most spiritual traditions will offer some really good advice.
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Anonymous #6
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Depends on your "morals".
The best course of action is to learn what mistakes led to this circumstance and work to prevent them in the future.
I hope you find your path.
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Well in total I'd say he owes close to 5k to friends and family including me that he'll never pay back. He's just not a good friend and only cares about himself and uses people, and thinks he has a right to do so. He sold heroin and said shit like I should get this person addicted to make money. He also always says shit to hurt people's feelings and make them feel like shit. I honestly think he's a bipolar sociopath because he can go from being the nicest person to being this jerk off that tries to chop you down especially in front of other people.
sounds like your normal everyday man to me.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #7 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Well in total I'd say he owes close to 5k to friends and family including me that he'll never pay back. He's just not a good friend and only cares about himself and uses people, and thinks he has a right to do so. He sold heroin and said shit like I should get this person addicted to make money. He also always says shit to hurt people's feelings and make them feel like shit. I honestly think he's a bipolar sociopath because he can go from being the nicest person to being this jerk off that tries to chop you down especially in front of other people.
sounds like your normal everyday man to me.
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Anonymous #8
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned -buddhist proverb
I have found that I am quite happy in life, I have amazing loving friends, I enjoy my work, and live well otherwise, a negative thought will nearly never cross my mind.
Now, if somebody wrongs me, and I indulge in thoughts of anger, negativity, and revenge, I have just brought all of those things into my conscious stream, it has disrupted my positive and happy existence, which is exactly what was wanted by those attempting to enact harm on me.
Taking revenge Will not correct the unjust actions which have already taken place, it Will only drive you into committing such negative actions yourself, bringing only more negativity and unhappiness into your life.
Quote:
The worse of the two is one, who, when abused, retaliates.
One who does not retaliate, wins a battle hard to win.
Samyutta Nikāya 1.188
It takes far more strength to just let things go. If a person is causing you problems why not just remove them from your life? Do not speak with them, do not respond to them, just ignore them...or even better, show those who mistreat you love, if you attempt to fight fire with fire all you will receive is a much bigger fire, you do not fight hate with hate, you combat hate with love.
Quote:
27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.…
Luke 6:28
Mathew 5:44
-ibex-trismegistus
dont sign your posts in the anon forum thats seriously faggy
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Anonymous #9
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
It'd be a lot easier to just cut this person out of your life.
This.
No reason to be bitter, or vengeful. If you chose to seek revenge on every person like the one you described, you would not be so much different than them.
There are countless shitty people in the world, don't make this personal just because it's a friend. Just cut them out. Be the bigger person.
They will get theirs someday.
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous #8 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned -buddhist proverb
I have found that I am quite happy in life, I have amazing loving friends, I enjoy my work, and live well otherwise, a negative thought will nearly never cross my mind.
Now, if somebody wrongs me, and I indulge in thoughts of anger, negativity, and revenge, I have just brought all of those things into my conscious stream, it has disrupted my positive and happy existence, which is exactly what was wanted by those attempting to enact harm on me.
Taking revenge Will not correct the unjust actions which have already taken place, it Will only drive you into committing such negative actions yourself, bringing only more negativity and unhappiness into your life.
Quote:
The worse of the two is one, who, when abused, retaliates.
One who does not retaliate, wins a battle hard to win.
Samyutta Nikāya 1.188
It takes far more strength to just let things go. If a person is causing you problems why not just remove them from your life? Do not speak with them, do not respond to them, just ignore them...or even better, show those who mistreat you love, if you attempt to fight fire with fire all you will receive is a much bigger fire, you do not fight hate with hate, you combat hate with love.
Quote:
27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.…
Luke 6:28
Mathew 5:44
-ibex-trismegistus
dont sign your posts in the anon forum thats seriously faggy
Posting anonmous is "faggy"
I don't want to be anonymous.
Besides, certain people on this site Will make anonymous posts then go around claiming it was someone they do not like as a means of making them look bad.
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Anonymous #1
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Well someone else could just use your signature in anonymous and it would make it look more believable.
Edit: it looks like someone is already doing that or ibex is just being a dick
Edited by Anonymous (10/16/17 10:22 AM)
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Well ya I'm a dick that's why I want revenge lol. I think your mistaken on my relationship with him though literally been his best friend since second grade we were really close. Took care of him when he was broke and down. Which is what really is getting to me. I've been waiting for karma to catch up with him but it never does and when he keeps trying to get shit out of me and showing off money taking jabs at the people he owes money to. People come to me since I was closest to him and talk about getting back at him and shit. It just really annoys me how he could be that arrogant and never pay for the shit he's done.
You know what's funny about this, I know a person who goes around telling people that we used to be friends, and that he "took care of me" or "did so much to help me" when in reality we were never friends, and this person had done nothing but screw me over at every chance they got, they never helped me anything what so ever. then when I stopped talking to this person they probably thought that I would tell everybody what terrible things they had done, so in response they would go around telling everybody that I "owed people money" or that I "screwed them over" in some way. IN reality it's all complete bullshit.
Quote:
Another situation in which we speak about others’ faults is when we’re angry with them. Here we may talk about their faults for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s to win other people over to our side. "If I tell these other people about the argument Bob and I had and convince them that he is wrong and I’m right before Bob can tell them about the argument, then they’ll side with me." Underlying that is the thought, "If others think I’m right, then I must be." It’s a weak attempt to convince ourselves we’re okay when we haven’t spent the time honestly evaluating our own motivations and actions.
At other times, we may talk about others’ faults because we’re jealous of them. We want to be respected and appreciated as much as they are. In the back of our minds, there’s the thought, "If others see the bad qualities of the people I think are better than me, then instead of honoring and helping them, they’ll praise and assist me." Or we think, "If the boss thinks that person is unqualified, she’ll promote me instead." Does this strategy win others’ respect and appreciation? Hardly.
Some people "psychoanalyze" others, using their half-baked knowledge of pop psychology to put someone down. Comments such as "he’s borderline" or "she’s paranoid" make it sound as if we have authoritative insight into someone’s internal workings, when in reality we disdain their faults because our ego was affronted. Casually psychoanalyzing others can be especially harmful, for it may unfairly cause a third party to be biased or suspicious.
http://thubtenchodron.org/2011/06/harmonious-speech/
These people Will try to invent all these reasons to make others hate me, and when you prove they are full of shit, they just make up new lies, and there's absolutely nothing behind it, the only reasons are the ones listed above.
You remind me a good deal of these people, specially when you say they person is not in your life and has nothing to do with you, yet you still want some type of "revenge", when in reality it just do ands like you don't like this person so you are trying to make everybody else not like them as well.
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Anonymous #1
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I don't go around telling people that it doesn't concern. I just posted it on here trying to see if getting revenge on this person would be immoral. And Why do you keep saying me and him were never friends how would you know?
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Anonymous #10
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Well ya I'm a dick that's why I want revenge lol.
What's the point of the OP question then, for a "dick" wouldn't give a Dingo's kidney about morals and would just do whatever they like?
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
I think your mistaken on my relationship with him though literally been his best friend since second grade we were really close. Took care of him when he was broke and down. Which is what really is getting to me. I've been waiting for karma to catch up with him but it never does and when he keeps trying to get shit out of me and showing off money taking jabs at the people he owes money to. People come to me since I was closest to him and talk about getting back at him and shit. It just really annoys me how he could be that arrogant and never pay for the shit he's done.
Soo, you've inner turmoil until he pays for his bad behaviour, makes restitution and stops being a dick, and if he won't or can't do these...revenge is your only other option?
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Anonymous #1
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I'm a dick not a sociopath
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Anonymous #10
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What an odd way to respond to two reasonable questions.
Reinforcing your low opinion of yourself and defending yourself against an accusation no one has made.
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Anonymous #11
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
I already did that I just wanna fuck him over cause he's a dick.
But I thought you cut him out of your ? Clearly not if you're still involving him in your life and making posts about him.
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Anonymous #1
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Just the thought of him being arrogant about getting away with everything gets to me.
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Anonymous #11
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So you haven't cut him out of your life because you're still thinking about him
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Anonymous #1
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I guess not mentally
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Anonymous #11
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I'll stop playing word games now.
The world is full of shitty people. If you're going to take him on, it only makes sense that you dedicate your life to taking on every shitty person you can find in life.
Or rather than devoting your time and energy to low-lifes, you can eradicate them completely by also cutting them out mentally.
The kid he sold heroin to had a choice to buy that. The people who loaned him money, including yourself, should know that you never loan something you're not willing to lose.
Man up and quit putting your energy into things that are outside of you unless it's to help others in a positive way.
Going after him wouldn't be 'immoral' so to speak, but it would be stupid of you and make you no better than him.
Get your shit together and stop focusing on dumb fucks
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Anonymous #12
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Basically I agree with the last post, but I'd like to say some things in my own words.
I don't really know about morale nor do spend a lot of time thinking about it since it doesn't seem too relevant to me.
What is relevant, in my opinion, is that by revenging yourself you're following mean objectives. You're giving negativity more place in your life than might be beneficial for you. I totally understand that you feel wanting to get revenge. Sometimes I feel the same but I try not to act on it. After these feelings of anger fade, it feels good to know that I didn't act on them and it makes me realise that I'm stronger than I initially thought.
Maybe try to think about like that "What is my intention in doing something and do I really want to act on that?". You don't have to act on anything. Sometimes it's better to wait and see how things unfold (inside and around yourself).
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Anonymous #13
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If he truly is a dick, then he will get what is coming to him. You do not need to do anything. The fact that you want revenge, is not good. You will end up injuring yourself in the process. Remember that old adage : An eye for an eye ...............................
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