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InvisibleEvangeliontx
Unleaded only

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 167
Is this normal
    #2465560 - 03/23/04 11:46 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My first time to trip was awesome, totaly preped to rock and roll.

My second time i trip at a party just to up my enjoyment.

This weekend i plan on tripping, but i want to trip this weekend just so i can escape reality for a few hours and not exsist.

Is this a bad motivation, should i trip and try to work on my problems, or should i avoid tripping till my mindset it better?

Money issues have really brought me down lately, the acid i would be getting would be free and of decent quality so it wouldnt worsen the money issue. Im shooting for 5 hits at roughly 11pm then going to work the next day at 4pm.

Just bad vibes steming from mondays very eventful evening. Id like to say im taking them to solve my problems, but really i just want to escape from reality and its problems for awhile. I know i wouldnt have a bad trip, for various reasons.

Thoughts?


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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2465587 - 03/23/04 11:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

It's not a "wrong" reason per se -- it's just that one often has a hard time actually ~escaping~ bad vibes. I firmly believe that psychedelics aren't about taking you to another world, but show you the infinite complexity of this one beyond our normal perceptions.
If you mean 'escaping' in the same tone you'd mean by 'going out with friends and having a good time' to forget, or losing yourself in a good book or movie, then it'd probably be cool.
If you mean "wipe my mind blank by getting so fucked up" -- that's where problems come up more often.


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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InvisibleEvangeliontx
Unleaded only

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 167
Re: Is this normal [Re: valour]
    #2465665 - 03/24/04 12:12 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My parrents put an ungodly amount of stress on me. I cant describe how angry i get with them. Im sure anyone thats had parrents knows what im talking about... but its to the point where i dont give a fuck where i go, as long as im not around them.

Its a terrible way to feel, so depressing. I rebound emotionaly very easily, but they bring me down oh so often. Being the house alone is oppresive, just a horrible vibe through the entire house.

Lately one of my close friends has kind of broken off contact with me, im working 35 hours at nights and 25 school hours in the day. I can already feel my social life just dragging ass.

When i start working alot, especially weekends, i tend to just not even bother going out. I get off work at roughly 10:30pm every night this weekend except sunday, when i get off at 2pm.

I need this money badly to do things that i want to do, but at what cost. This is just growing pains i guess. Venting right now is helping and im about to go lift some weights just enough to let out some of the anger i feel.

All my life ive never really fitted in with any group, id like to pretend i didnt want to, but its just human nature. I think this happend because i wasnt willing to change who i was just to fit in.

Im not hard core enough to fit in with druggies, Not smart enough for the nerds, cant let go of social expectations to be one of the careless losers, not athletic enough to be a jock, not a big enough bad ass to be with the badasses, not dedicated enough to be an artist.

It just feels like that if i put my mind to it i could very easily fall into any of those groups. From the outside i look so shut-up, like im contstantly thinking deeply about something, because i am. Im so busy examining.

The only time I EVER feel completely in my element is when im racing. Ive shown that i have a natural ability of holding my shit together. I cant describe how good it feels, how NOTHING matters but keeping myself alive and my partners behind me. I really just turn into someone else when im driving. Im going to get a sport bike soon, which will really test me. My mom is scared to death ill kill myself. To be honest its very likely.

In another thread i spoke of my ability to dream of the future, id proven without a fact to multipul people that i could do it on several occasions. What scares me is at roughly 20-21 i had a dream that i died, just infront of my school in a fiery blaze.

since that dream, all dreams have stopped, as if i came to the end of the tape. I hope that for once that my dream is bullshit and just a byproduct of some deep seeded fear or death.

I wouldnt say i have a death wish, i just dont fear dying.



Tommorw ill feel all better, i always get this way when i havent eaten. :tongue:


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Offlinewindowlicker42
member
Registered: 06/01/03
Posts: 129
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2466158 - 03/24/04 03:04 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i doubt you will forget about your troubles but i could be wrong. going to work might be rough as well...


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Invisibleboeha
explorer

Registered: 02/28/04
Posts: 358
Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2466331 - 03/24/04 04:13 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Ah come on man;
- about the money-problem: I realised long time ago that money is definately a bad influence on happiness. Don't be too bothered just because you don't have enough money.

- about the not fitting in: lots of people have that feeling; the key attitude is not try everything so you fit in in 1 group; just stop thinking about it.

- Will these bad feelings come up in your trip? I'd say probably; you can't fool your own mind, can you? It will be up to you to cope with possible bad vibes.
Good luck! :smile:


--------------------
- turn on, tune in, drop out ...
- peace, love and understanding ...


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Offlinemalabar
Stranger
Registered: 01/24/04
Posts: 47
Loc: in your sisters pants
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2468588 - 03/24/04 08:15 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Not fitting in is a natural human feeling. Most people feel that way, or at least I do sometimes. To get a grip on your problems mabye you should look into religion. Eat some shrooms and sit in a dark room without any interfierences. I always seem to be able to solve my problems when I do that. Its almost like the shrooms are telling you how to handle it. San Pedro is also a good choice, but that is so hard to find some times. Don't know if this will help you, but I have always had good results.


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Onlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
Male User Gallery Arcade Champion: Chopper Challenge

Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 11,599
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Last seen: 7 minutes, 25 seconds
Re: Is this normal [Re: boeha]
    #2472237 - 03/25/04 07:36 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

you can't fool your own mind, can you?





i can....sometimes :grin:

it never lasts long though, and i usually end up worse off than i started


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleEvangeliontx
Unleaded only

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 167
Re: Is this normal [Re: wrestler_az]
    #2472587 - 03/25/04 11:49 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Ill be fine, just been a horrible week.

Lots of tiny problems bubbling up to fuck me in my ass.

Just found out im failing 3 classes... i havent failed any classes in 3 years.

Just need to take some time to figure out what the fuck is up with my life, where i want to go.

My main problem right now is where im going to go, not where I am.

Id like to go into law enforcement... due to obvious reasons i think id have a hard time there.

To be a doctor id have to spend 8+ years in school, more than im willing.



Graphic Art really attracts me, but there is no money in it, a flooded market.

In a few days ill be fine, i just need this week to go away.


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Invisiblelukeboots
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Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2473027 - 03/25/04 03:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Evangeliontx said:
All my life ive never really fitted in with any group, id like to pretend i didnt want to, but its just human nature. I think this happend because i wasnt willing to change who i was just to fit in.

Im not hard core enough to fit in with druggies, Not smart enough for the nerds, cant let go of social expectations to be one of the careless losers, not athletic enough to be a jock, not a big enough bad ass to be with the badasses, not dedicated enough to be an artist.




I'm in the exact same boat as you - and it's really not so bad. You just have to stop concentrating so hard on what you want to be, and instead just do what you like to do. If you're a drifter (which, from experience, i assume makes up quite a chunk of people) like me, then just don't worry about it. Recently my best friend (and, I might add, the only friendship past middle-school that's lasted more than a year) moved away to go to college. Now I'm left with a bunch of drug adicts and hyperactive emo kids. But, I can deal with it. I just realized I don't have any advice except to share with you that you aren't alone, or in any sort of social trouble. :smile:

About the trip escape.. I don't think you can escape your conscious (i hate that little bastard!), so you might just end up dwelling on all the negative thoughts you have. Hopefully not, though!!


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey


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Offlinewhiterabbit13
I'm late

Registered: 02/21/04
Posts: 1,360
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Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2476449 - 03/26/04 12:43 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I would say to go into the trip not thinking about your problems or it may be a bad trip. Go into it thinking about good stuff, like how you are about to trip :lol:. Then just enjoy yourself while you do trip.

The next day you might have a different mind set or maybe a conclusion about your problems. Thats what happens to me sometimes when i have a problem and i trip.


--------------------


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Offlinevade
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Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 1,737
Loc: Columbus, OHIO
Last seen: 8 months, 10 days
Re: Is this normal [Re: Evangeliontx]
    #2477033 - 03/26/04 03:07 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, just don't think about your problems while going into the trip,  tripping really makes you think, you might be able
to even work them out while tripping,  try that :smile:


--------------------
I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed...



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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience

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