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Offlinetrippin_ninja
no idea

Registered: 03/22/04
Posts: 5
Loc: anywhere but here
Last seen: 12 years, 30 days
is it the mushrooms or just me?
    #2461556 - 03/22/04 09:56 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

Hello all!

This is my first post, although I have been reading the boards for about a year now. I have tried to talk to my friend and family, but it seems like no one understands. So hopefully someone here might me able to understand where I am coming from. Where to start?

I started using weed a few years ago as well as an occasional beer. I have always gotten really good grades like a typical preppy student. In the past year, however, I became more and more interested in other psychoactives. Hallucinogens really appealed to me so I read up on them (to the point where I could recite pretty much anything at all about them... although that's irrilivent) and decided that I should try mushrooms. I aquired a quarter and had a very pleasant trip on about 1.75-2 dry grams. With my remaining 5, I invited a mushroom n00b friend to trip with me as he has been interested in mushrooms for a very long time but hasn't been able to find them. I took 3 plus a bit and he has a little under 2. He had a very pleasant trip that sounded a lot like my earlier one. Mine was... Intense.

On the trip, I began thinking about (among other things) where my life is headed. I'm in my final highschool year, and I have always just blindly went in the direction my parents, school, and what seems the world wants me to go - get good grades, get into a good university, then get a good job. When I began thinking about this, I started to ask myself if this is really what I want. It seems like to me, that once I leave highschool, I will go to university, where, even if I get into a program I want to get into, it will only lead me into a job of dealing with assholes and paperwork that if I had the choice, I would be doing something else. From the movie Office Space, it made so much sense when the main character said "Human beings wern't made to sit in little cubicles and stare at a computer screen all day" (or something like that... it has been a while. I didn't watch this while tripping, it just reminded me of it)

And then when I'm done doing something I hate, (if I'm lucky) I retire and then do busy work repairs on my house I'm too old and feeble to walk around in and then try to break even before I die. I look at where my parents are and that is the last place I want to be. And unfortunatly it looks like that is where I am headed.

Ever since the trip, I've had a really hard time giving a shit about anything... especially school. Even friends have told me I've been asking different. I feel very distant from everyone else. I'm not sure where I want to go, but I am sure that I don't want to live an ordinary life that I previously thought I wanted (I mean what society told me I wanted).

Would life really be that terrible to just live out of a backpack and travel the world, picking up jobs where I need it and just living every second... as opposed to working where it seems like my life just ends there?

I think that is the just of what is on my mind. Sorry if it is confusing at all, it's really hard to get it all out and make sense at the same time. I guess I'm asking for advice, if any of you have been through this. I'm really not sure what think is right anymore


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2461604 - 03/22/04 10:13 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

Shrooms usually change people's perspectives on lots of things. Noone else can tell you what the right life for you is. My advice to you would be to try out everything you want to try out. If you think the life of a traveller is the right life for you give it a shot for a bit. After a month or two of sleeping in ditches during thunderstorms and eating stale bagels the local Bakeries put out you may wish you were in a quiet office with flourescent lights. The biggest challenge is really following through the next day on whatever revelations you get from mushrooms.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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Offlinesykobish
ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 17,805
Loc: Toronto, eh?
Last seen: 12 years, 21 days
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2461605 - 03/22/04 10:13 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

What I would suggest is to at least finish Highschool if you haven't already. It would be a very good idea to at least have that under your belt before you take a break and venture. You can always go to University any time you like. There is nothing wrong with backpacking around the world. It's actually a great experience that not everyone gets the chance to do. I've never done it myself but I have wanted to many, many times. My friends that have done so tho, tell me that it was an incredible learning experience. You become more worldly and there is an abundance of things you will learn.

The important thing is that you do what YOU want to do in your life. You have to do what makes you happy.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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Offlineeve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,856
Loc: isle de la muerte Flag
Last seen: 13 days, 23 hours
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2461759 - 03/22/04 10:56 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

I had a really cool friend at junior college who saved money all year and then took two months on a round the world one way ticket. He did it every year plotting new places. You can stop as many places as long as they're in one direction around the world. The tickets are advertised in the LA Times Sunday paper.

My advice, do whatever the fuck you want. Sounds like you had your first bit of real introspection. Fell from the Garden, or whatnot. Now you have the whole path of reintegration ahead of you. Welcome to being a human being!!! You made it Dude!!! Maybe you don't know what you want. Well then maybe now it's time to find out.

What do you really want?


--------------------
...or something







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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2462083 - 03/23/04 12:30 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

You've opened your eyes, and that makes me happy!! Welcome my friend! You have much to learn, but in due time.  :smile2:  :3rd_eye: :yesnod: :lol: :stoned:


--------------------
***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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Offlinetrippin_ninja
no idea

Registered: 03/22/04
Posts: 5
Loc: anywhere but here
Last seen: 12 years, 30 days
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2462119 - 03/23/04 12:37 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

Thanks guys for the posts. They were helpful.

The main thought I got from the trip is to have fun now. We only live once, (in my beliefs atleast) so it better count. That's why I have been trying to find an alternative to working my ass off while I'm young and have fun when I'm old and decreped.

The whole backpacking thing was just an idea... Like question for the joo said, camping in a ditch/nasty bagel eating (stale or not, god I hate bagels) isn't all that appealing. It's just one thing that popped into my head that seemed out of the ordinary. This frustration of not being able to get away from the control of everyone has gotten worse over the couple weeks ago I came to the realization. The past 3 days I've felt nautious because it seems anywhere I go, someone is telling me what I should do or be like. Even a lot of music just makes me feel sick. Not to mention a drug seminar today at school that has gotten all of my conservative freinds uptight about my interest in drugs.

eve69: I'm really not sure what I want to do. That's my problem. I am so jealous of people that have that ideal career in mind that they would do even if they wern't payed. I can never keep an interest in something for more than a couple monthes. All of my hobbies are like that and I have many half finished projects as trophies of my disinterest.

I guess it's just wishful thinking to want to do something I want to do and not be controlled... but the idea of just running away to some foriegn country is sounding pretty damn good... dammit, if only I didn't have to eat bagels :shake: ... wow.... I'm so unfunny it's unreal...


Edited by trippin_ninja (03/23/04 12:39 AM)


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OfflineJuanMatus
Stranger
Registered: 01/09/04
Posts: 28
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2462463 - 03/23/04 02:14 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

Take it from someone who has been there, I know what you are going through. My advice is to stay in school, and when you go to college take a liberal arts program. you can take courses in art, history philosophy etc. You can learn from some of the greatest thinkers in history, people who asked themselves the same questions you are asking yourself. The point is that your freshman year of college is all about discovering who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life. dropping out of the system may give you a quick dose of reality, but it will not help you answer "Where am I going?" I did decide to wander for a few years which turned into a few decades, and while it provided me with some nice stories to tell around the campfire, it never forced me to look at where I realy wanted to go. A few years ago I dropped back in to school and finished college. School doesn't tell you where you are going, it only opens up the doors to the opportunities you will not have if you do not continue with your education.


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OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
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Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: JuanMatus]
    #2462738 - 03/23/04 04:03 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

alright, here's my story:

  When i was 15 or 16, the summer before grade 11, i ate 7g of mushrooms solo. It was a fantasticly powerful and terrifying experience, I was enthusiastic about it after - but in retrospect it brought out extreme depersonalization.

The reason i replied here was because of this:

"I'm not sure where I want to go, but I am sure that I don't want to live an ordinary life that I previously thought I wanted (I mean what society told me I wanted)."

You could probably find old posts of mine, in this forum - that have that exact line.

But you know what? It too me 2 years - I dropped out but still graduated, and i removed myself from the sectors of society which bothered me.

Anyways - 2 years i was pretty much a confused useless sad piece of shit. I KNEW i didnt want to be apart of the world, and that i just wanted do whatever to get by, i had no pride, i was removed.

  It took along time, and over that time i did practically nothing but think - and its kinda fallen to me. I thought about what i wanted and how i could do it - I thought about what exactly needed to be done in order to live a satisfying life.

Anyways, i was just going through my list of goals with a friend and was astonished at how high i have my sights now, Because of tripping (and ive tripped many more times, much harder. :laugh:) ive become enamored with the human condition, and just with my friends and the people around me i study and experiment. Its fantastic, and my passion - i really love connecting with people and trying to improve their lives. You need to understand yourself, before you can understand your surroundings and everyone else.

I say follow your goals, but you have to have faith, and your going to have a major backup plan if your parents arnt supportive.

PM me if you want.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


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Offlinetrippin_ninja
no idea

Registered: 03/22/04
Posts: 5
Loc: anywhere but here
Last seen: 12 years, 30 days
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2465674 - 03/24/04 12:14 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Thanks everyone, especially PDU. I've been thinking about all of your replies, and, I agree, it is best to atleast graduate highschool. I think from there, if my heart is in the same place I will travel for a bit to see if that's what I really want. I could be like Kane (sp?) from kung fu and just wander around and meet people and have new experiences. After all, experiences and memories are all that we will have left in the end.

It's amazing how much mushrooms have changed my perspectives. And after talking to open minded individuals like you guys has given me such an amazing feeling. That is, that the feeling that I'm not alone and that it is ok for me to go where I want to go... if I even need to go anywhere.

Thanks you all so much again. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help. I think I will stick around in the shroomery. It's such an inspiring community.


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Offlinephi1618
old hand

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 4,102
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2467728 - 03/24/04 03:27 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

There are alot of reasons to put off colege, and alot of things you can do in the meantime.
If you wait 'till you're 22 or 24 (can't remember which), you'll get much better financial aid, because your parents income and assets won't count.
The main reason is to get a better idea of where you want to go. I'm out of college, and I'm still strugling with these questions. I think it would be better for me if I hadn't been yet; I would have more flexability, and more experience of the world.

My advice: put off college for a few years while you decide what you really want to do. Don't just waste the interveneing years - have fun!


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OfflineIrate_Scotsman
Och!
Registered: 08/09/02
Posts: 38
Loc: Ankle deep in dog links, ...
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: trippin_ninja]
    #2468900 - 03/24/04 09:47 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

"...And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?"
-from Once in a Lifetime, Talking Heads

Having a 'midlife crisis' at ~20 years old seems to be much more common amongst people who actively think about their lives - it's neither 'you' or 'the mushrooms,' it's a suprisingly large group of people, the common factors being above average intelligence, having at least half-decent dreams and goals, and plain-ol' giving a shit about how your life turns out - which most people don't even pay attention to until they're 45, when they flip out, think they've fucked it, and decide their secretary is more interesting/important than their wife/family.

The same thing happened to me when I graduated from high school, although I didn't at the time use mushrooms (couldn't find any). I graduated in the top 3 students from my high school, the second largest high school in Queensland, Australia with top honours - I did the 7 hardest/most advanced courses in my school and obtained an average of 97% overall (physics, chem, bio, 2x hardcore math, 2x hardcore literature); I graduated top-of-the-state in the literary courses and my (past) work is now the teacher's current example of "How to do Year 12 English;" I tied for Dux of the school with a mate of mine in this 'top 3,' and got a $5000-a-year scholarship to go down to Brisbane and study the B.Sc. Advanced course they offer at Griffith University, which I deferred for a year.

That was at the end of 2001. Right now, I'm not at Griffith, because I deferred it for a year, and then decided not to do it at the end of the extra year. I don't own a car, or have a driver's licence. My dad is a consultant anaesthatist who makes $200,000 a year; I'm on welfare because when we moved to Australia he met a nurse that looks like his favourite country western singer (Emmy-Lou Harris, the bitch); she and her children are now the prime benefactors of his monetary heft (ie, his new wife and children...). The only reason me, or any other members of my family (brother, mom) are in the country is because my dad is Australian and suffered from SAD in winter in Canada. Now, my brother and mother and I suffer from Australian weather. His current role in my life is to say "so, got a job yet?"

The most satisfying thing I've ever done is say, "Not unless you count erb dealing."  :bong:

Uhhh... yeah. I had initially thought "I'll type some of my experiences up for this guy, cuz it got really rough for me as well and I've been through nearly the same thing, but now I know that I can face anything, including the fear of my own death, and know that I've spent every second of my life in exactly the 'right' way for me and feel that I have attained my own enlightenment", but I've now realized I'm far too stoned to properly form the sentences. In any case, you should listen to that Talking Heads track.

:lipsrsealed:


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: is it the mushrooms or just me? [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2473913 - 03/25/04 07:42 PM (13 years, 4 days ago)

Quote:

BlowMiNose said:
You've opened your eyes, and that makes me happy!! Welcome my friend! You have much to learn, but in due time.  :smile2:  :3rd_eye: :yesnod: :lol: :stoned:




I second that.  Mushrooms never (and I stress never) teach you anything not worth learning which can be for your own benefit.  I've been at the oposoite situation of what you explained and during my trip I learned that I'm to relaxed and careless about my life style according to my potential, I should be more serious about both myself work and studying.  And I'm sure that if I stress my ass out too much a later trip will teach me to calm that down again... you should keep a healthy balance, enjoy life and make sure you are able to enjoy life.

Its amazing how mushrooms do this...

edit: and to answer you're post title, its not just you and its not just the mushrooms, its the mushrooms guiding yourself to you.
(but dont take advantage of mushrooms, I myslef trip not more than once every other month)


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


Edited by filthysock (03/25/04 07:45 PM)


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