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OfflinePeyote Road
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The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm * 1
    #24604629 - 09/05/17 01:47 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I found this at gnosticteachings.org


What is Orgasm?

    Category: Sex
    Created: 03 April 2011

In sexuality, the word orgasm refers to a climactic peak of sexual, electrical forces, in which the nervous system is over-charged with sexual energy, resulting in a "short circuit" or massive, damaging release of energy. orgasm is primarily energetic, and is not always accompanied by the expulsion of sexual fluids.

In scriptures, the orgasm is called fornication.

The orgasm is the "forbidden fruit" of the Tree of Knowledge (Daath) from the Garden of Eden (Eden is Hebrew for "pleasure, bliss").

Every religion in the world originally taught Chastity, brahmacharya, the importance of preserving the sexual energy so it can be utilized for regeneration and spiritual birth, thus every religion required the renunciation of the orgasm. In this way, the energy that provided the minor pleasure of the orgasm is harnessed and transformed, thereafter producing the ecstasies of the soul (Consciousness), called samadhi, satori, manteia, etc.

    "And if any man's זרע zera [seed of copulation] go out from him [orgasm], then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even." - Moses, from Leviticus 15:16
    "Ejaculation of semen brings death, preserving it within brings life. Therefore, one should make sure to retain the semen within." —Siva Samhita: Preserve the Semen

    "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his σπέρμα sperma [seed] remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God." - 1 John 3:9

    "To be aroused but not ejaculate is what is called "returning the Ching." When the Ching is returned to benefit the body, then the tao of life has been realized." - Su Nu Ching (300 BC)

See more example scriptures from religions that warn against the orgasm: Scriptures.
Clarification
The path of Chastity requires retaining the sexual energy by avoiding the orgasm. The physical matter (semen) is the vehicle for that energy; by restraining the matter we restrain the energy so that the energy can be transmuted into a more elevated, powerful force. But do not mistake the physical matter for what it carries. Many people seek ways to continue indulging in the energetic sensations of the orgasm while retaining the physical matter: this is a deception, and results in the strengthening of desire rather than the elimination of desire. To acheive Chastity, one needs to be focused on ensuring that the sexual energy is transmuted, and not lost through the sensations of the orgasm, which may or may not be accompanied by physical matter.
An Explanation of the orgasm

    When man and woman enter the sexual act, they connect two very complex organisms. They connect them where the most powerful energies are in the body: the sexual organs. In those organs are the root forces of creation. Normally, when we are not in the sexual act, all the powers that come into us, the power to be alive, descends through these three nervous systems and reflect the three forces that create, which are represented in religions as Father, Son, Holy Spirit; Kether, Chokmah, Binah; Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, etc. Those forces come through our three nervous systems. The ultimate expression of that energy - which is creative - is sexual. So when we unite man and woman sexually, that creative fire is lit.

    Thus when we enter the sexual connection, all those forces charge the sexual organs and the chakra related to the sexual organs (Muladhara). That energy is intense. Moreover, it is the energy of Eden. עדן Eden is a Hebrew word that means “pleasure, bliss, ecstasy.” That is why in the sexal act we feel pleasure: we are in Eden. All those nerves, all those ganglia of the three nervous systems unite in the sexual organs, and when the man and woman unite, all those nervous systems are enflamed. Eden is activated.

    The one who is managing that energy, the one who is pushing that energy, is the energetic channel in each one of us that the Bible calls Eve (Sanskrit: Ida), who senses that fruit and wants to taste it. The responsibility of that energetic, psychological channel of energy is procreation. That is the root driver for sex. That is why nature pushes us to have sex, to procreate. Nature tempts us; in other words, the force of Kundalini, the Divine Mother, works through Lucifer to tempt our Eve, Ida, our urge for procreation. We join sexually and the creative energies emerge.

    In the past, that energy was taken advantage of and utilized spiritually and returned through the Kanda, up the spinal column through Shushumna in order to enliven our Adam, the brain. As the physical bodies of man and woman (Adam and Eve) worked together sexually, our own inner Adam and Eve (brain and sexual organs) worked together, in order for those forces to return back to God, for that woman (Isha) to be the fire offering (Ishe) that we discussed in the lectures on Daath.

    Unfortunately, humanity a long time ago was tempted to have children on their own without the guidance of the Elohim. When that energy became very charged in the sexual organs and in the vital and astral bodies, and the Elohim were not present to guide the sexual act, the energy built up too much, and these energy transformers - the chakras and sexual organs - short-circuited. You see, a conductor only has a limited capacity. Any conductor of energy is like a channel or a tube through which energy can move. When you put too much energy there, you short-circuit it. That circuit overloads and the energy escapes into other areas. This is what the orgasm is. It is an overcharge of energy.

    The orgasm is an explosion of energy that escapes from the conductors that should manage it. That overcharge spills out of the sexual organs, out of the chakras, and into the surrounding ganglia, into the nadis. This is why people experience tremors, shaking, vibrations, involuntary shudders, shouts, screams, etc: the energy of Eden is racing thorugh the nervous systems. We think it is "pleasurable," because the root energy is from Eden (bliss), but what we do not realize is that a short circuit destroys the conductor. That is, the orgasm destroys the nervous system, gradually.

    This is why people who have a lot of sex, gradually lose their sexual power. People who repeat the orgasm gradually lose the ability to have it. They become impotent or become indifferent to sex because their energetic centers become burned out. Now, this is why everybody takes chemicals to stimulate their sex drive. This is why pornography became so popular, because it is an artificial stimulation for the sexual energy. This is also why people move towards more and more extreme sexual interests, because the areas that stimulated them previously become "burned out."

  The problem is that people are so addicted to the sensations of the orgasm that they do not realize that their own sexual energy is destroying them. That energy is put in the wrong places. That energy which is extremely high voltage is put in places that cannot manage it. People go mad. The brain gets messed up. The nervous system is depleted. This is why people who are addicted to masturbation and sex develop all kinds of mental and emotional problems. Many of them end up in sanitariums. We do not hear about this in the media, but if you look into it, you will discover it. Anyone who has worked in a mental hospital will tell you that most of the people there are addicted to masturbation. Why? Because of desire run amok.

    As the explosions of that energy destroy the nerves and organs, it takes more energy to feel anything. People become desensitized, so they seek greater and greater forms of stimulation, in other words, more extreme sexual practices, little by little, lifetime to lifetime, gradually. Subsequently, the mind degenerates, the heart degenerates. The person becomes more and more of an animal. You can look around in the world and you will see the evidence of this.


That is exactly what happened to me.

The article doesn't say if there is any hope of recovery.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra


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OfflineTmethylM
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road] * 2
    #24604632 - 09/05/17 01:51 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Interesting read but I have a really hard time believing this:

Quote:

Peyote Road said:
damaging release of energy




Feels more like a healing release of energy to me. :ooo:


--------------------
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Invisiblepur3bind
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road] * 1
    #24604674 - 09/05/17 02:43 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)




This is also why people move towards more and more extreme sexual interests, because the areas that stimulated them previously become "burned out."
Quote:



I think your right too. It is a serious problem. This is not what the Karma Sutra was designed for. And, if eden was the feeling of sex, we have lost touch with that. If you "make love" to your beloved rather than "bang", you will experience the godhead of eternity, yet you will look like a nerd and someone that's not trying to be someone greater than life. Society and religion is all about the fuck. :rofl:

This explains a lot. I kind of behave like an experience junkie, because of fear, had sex with a guy that's on a website for ****ing dudes. Also, I'm pretty sure if I am attracted to men (bi) I'm 1000x more attracted to women.

It's not like we can all just learn to let the experience of being horny go away all the time and just sit on a mountain and be a Buddha. :lol:

And it's awfully hard to find a woman to have fun with when your single now a days because we are all living our own lives, as the saying goes. :eek:


--------------------
"There are times— and this would be a great study for somebody to do—there have been periods in English when there were emotions that don't exist anymore, because the words have been lost. There are colors that don't exist anymore because the words have been lost." — Terence McKenna (The Archaic Revival: 1991)



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OfflineNameless One
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road] * 1
    #24620506 - 09/11/17 01:24 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I agree with this having alot of sex is the equivalent of doing drugs alot and all the time it loses its magic and can become a negative force in ones life.

Im always distrusting of the sexual spiritual schools.


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OfflineConnoisseur

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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road] * 2
    #24623207 - 09/12/17 12:39 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

The ultimate truth of sex is the same as all things that have great influence over the human body and mind, it is good when used for good in good hands and it can be used for "evil" or "corruption" if intended to be used in such a way which unfortunately is a part of life

Sadder even so is the fact that it can be used under the mask of good by "corrupt/evil" individuals with disastrous consequences


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InvisibleSham87
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road] * 1
    #24623241 - 09/12/17 12:59 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Interesting read, thanks OP.

I personally think intent has a lot to do with it, it is a creative force...


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OfflineHeyowana
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Sham87] * 3
    #24625389 - 09/13/17 08:41 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Ha ha ha. That serpent in the garden of Eden thing. Symbolism used in a time when people had more time to ponder on its allegorical nature.

Orgasm is a buffer to help us reconcile the dichotomy of our mind. Whether its accompanied by ejaculation or not. The rights and wrongs. Feminine and masculine. Dark and light etc.

Without orgasm that serpent begins to hold us in its fixation. Those penetrating eyes seeing the world reflected by our lopsided awareness. Intensity in our day to day life is a double edged sword. The more intense and fixated we become the more we are "sleeping"

We may have "power" over our day to day world. Through our limitation. I know I'm repeating myself here but nothing good will ever come from celibacy. It's just a stupid restriction that belongs to a different age. People today are more sensitive and awake than ever before. The "Fuel" we add to our life from celibacy adds imagination to all places of our life. We think, feel and act like we are getting some where. Further into the realm of imagination.

Sex energy is a powerful force that keeps us under its spell. Can we wake up from that spell? Not orgasming is a dead end road. Advocates are not more conscious. Just try and press their "buttons" then stand back. Their hatred is more intense. They are two faced to the extreme. It's a bit like trying to knock a wall down by running into it. It will never happen. All we do is sabotage our goals to be a more aware, conscious human being through our "willpower." Which in essence is a destructive force. Good for starting wars.

The taoists have said, a man needs to manage the secretions of his testicles. Manage doesn't mean denying their existence. I don't like one of the lines in the original post that says sex turns us into animals. All animals as far as I know can have sex in one form or another. Like us they all have their place on this planet. Unlike us they don't seem as deluded about their nature. How could I know this?:mushroom2::heart:


--------------------
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InvisibleKurt
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Tmethyl] * 1
    #24626570 - 09/13/17 04:57 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Peyote Road said:
damaging release of energy




Feels more like a healing release of energy to me. :ooo:





This was a pretty quick flag for me too.

Did someone mention serpents?

The organic sensation is like opening the floodgates, like a chiropractic crack. It is not damaging. Probably healthy biologically, especially in moderation, but maybe not something you should always need so much to make you feel right. If you need your back cracked a lot it is a sign of an underlying problem. Like that sensation, chiropractics in general are rarely as good or as bad as people make it out in the talk, so you maybe take an interest but watch out for the false gurus.

I think I understand that there is a relative danger in tantra or channeling kundalini energy. That's why I followed the title.

If you get accustomed to chakra meditation, when you bring energy upward With your breath like gently pulling it on a string, and its not ready, or maybe something a little crudely conjured by you, that channel can be open, but when you bring the energy through it feels like nervousness in hitting your stomach and an anxiety washes over you - not generally a good feeling. Maybe it was crude root energy, I felt, not like a tree bringing things up organically or naturally. I guess I had a little more control over something by breathing, and started kind of messing around. The consequence was nothing. All I know is that the sexual feeling and my evenmindedness went away as that stomach feeling hit. I am glad I didn't make it up further.

I think sometimes sex can be a little crude energy if you are interested in something like a clear channel going through, and practicing that. It is best to have a partner, and then you can maybe talk about it and have a guide to keep you grounded, so you won't just mess around and instead keep it about love if you want to make a lot of it.

Just an anecdote and experience.


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Offlinenameless1
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24645167 - 09/19/17 11:20 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Peyote Road said:
The orgasm is the "forbidden fruit" of the Tree of Knowledge (Daath) from the Garden of Eden



The problem with that "is", is that it leaves no room for the fact that this is merely someone's opinion being stated as if 'fact'!
There are many Perspectives of the myth, many far superior and more meaningful than such a pseudo-Xtian neurotic pile of crap as that.

'Thought/ego' is that Fruit, but that is another story for another day.


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OfflineKhanshur
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: nameless1]
    #24650909 - 09/22/17 06:16 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

In any case, while it's clear that sexual addiction can be a big drain for someone (I've been trying to quit porn myself), the sexually conservative attitudes we see on the other side, especially those justified on the basis of religious traditionalism, could arguably do more psychological damage in comparison. Too often they present the problem as an issue of morality, and lump in homosexuality together with it, rather than treating it as natural and focusing on the specific tendencies that cultivate addiction and hinder one's development. And so, especially with women and adolescents, it can be difficult to have honest discussions about sexuality in certain families without being met with shame or disapproval, which may spread through one's school or church, thus leaving it to become a topic of gossip and peer intrigue where one often finds themselves ostracized as a result, which also leads to sex being viewed as a symbol of status, and thus ego, with those partaking in it being respected or condemned by arbitrary judgement, which is how we get such a sexually messed up culture.

Basically, our attempts to socially constrain sexuality only makes it hit back harder, from what I can see. And so if what you say about the nature of orgasm and the spiritual function behind it is true, then the challenge would be to pass on that understanding without using a moralistic vehicle that would likely decay as I've just described.


Edited by Khanshur (09/22/17 06:45 AM)


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Offlinenameless1
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Khanshur]
    #24657639 - 09/25/17 03:44 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Khanshur said:
In any case, while it's clear that sexual addiction can be a big drain for someone (I've been trying to quit porn myself), the sexually conservative attitudes we see on the other side, especially those justified on the basis of religious traditionalism, could arguably do more psychological damage in comparison.



I agree with you. Too far into any extreme can have commensurate 'dues' to pay. Many times, in retrospect, one finds the 'dues' to be small, indeed, for the experience/Knowledge gained.

Quote:

...or condemned by arbitrary judgement, which is how we get such a sexually messed up culture.



There are various theories. Truth involves all of them.

Quote:

Basically, our attempts to socially constrain sexuality only makes it hit back harder, from what I can see. And so if what you say about the nature of orgasm and the spiritual function behind it is true, then the challenge would be to pass on that understanding without using a moralistic vehicle that would likely decay as I've just described.



Everything is Truth.
Morality is insanity, judging others as 'good/evil'.
Life with others makes 'laws' necessary. Laws are for those with no ethics/Love! Thus laws to regulate interpersonal relationships.
And sexual behavior.
When the insanity of religion/believers is added to the equation, further insanity ensues! *__-

No one ever deliberately harmed another unless he was host to some 'belief infection' or another.


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OfflineBrendanFlock
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: nameless1]
    #24658054 - 09/25/17 08:02 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Maybe the energy is too high for a reason?


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Invisiblehowsyournaggerdoin
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: BrendanFlock]
    #24658066 - 09/25/17 08:17 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

The only dangers are STDs and alimony payments.


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OfflineBrendanFlock
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: howsyournaggerdoin]
    #24659840 - 09/25/17 09:34 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Its quite a work out to have sex...taken it as an excercise can be very appealing!


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Offlinenameless1
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: BrendanFlock]
    #24662059 - 09/26/17 06:43 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

BrendanFlock said:
Maybe the energy is too high for a reason?



I can understand that Perspective.
Ultimately, though, not anything can be 'too (anything) high'! (except me, that is.. *__- )


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Offlinekrypto2000
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: nameless1]
    #24673532 - 09/30/17 09:35 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

What about taxes?


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OfflinePeyote Road
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: nameless1]
    #24674337 - 10/01/17 07:21 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

nameless1 said:
Quote:

Khanshur said:
In any case, while it's clear that sexual addiction can be a big drain for someone (I've been trying to quit porn myself), the sexually conservative attitudes we see on the other side, especially those justified on the basis of religious traditionalism, could arguably do more psychological damage in comparison.



I agree with you. Too far into any extreme can have commensurate 'dues' to pay. Many times, in retrospect, one finds the 'dues' to be small, indeed, for the experience/Knowledge gained.

Quote:

...or condemned by arbitrary judgement, which is how we get such a sexually messed up culture.



There are various theories. Truth involves all of them.

Quote:

Basically, our attempts to socially constrain sexuality only makes it hit back harder, from what I can see. And so if what you say about the nature of orgasm and the spiritual function behind it is true, then the challenge would be to pass on that understanding without using a moralistic vehicle that would likely decay as I've just described.



Everything is Truth.
Morality is insanity, judging others as 'good/evil'.
Life with others makes 'laws' necessary. Laws are for those with no ethics/Love! Thus laws to regulate interpersonal relationships.
And sexual behavior.
When the insanity of religion/believers is added to the equation, further insanity ensues! *__-

No one ever deliberately harmed another unless he was host to some 'belief infection' or another.




The religious people are right in their belief that lust needs to be transformed into love. I failed to do this and because of other factors, such as my mind being in a weakened state, it caused my own destruction.

What's wrong with lust? In my opinion, it disturbs the peace of the individual feeling it by making him or her want something outside himself. It has its purpose so it is not evil but it does need to be transformed or sublimated because in of itself, it leads to a dead end in the nervous system.

As long as you are perceiving an attractive women as being very different from a non attractive women you are not perceiving reality correctly but through a restrictive hormonal perceptual filter. This is what I realized. With this filter removed you see everyone the same. Of course you still can perceive the difference between a physically attractive woman and an ugly woman and beauty is still a desirable trait, but the over emphases on it is lost. Lust causes you to overvalue women, especially attractive women.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra


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Offlinenameless1
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24675463 - 10/01/17 03:19 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Peyote Road said:
The religious people are right in their belief that lust needs to be transformed into love.



Judging 'beliefs' as 'right/wrong' can only refer to immediate Perspective, and is rather like attempting to judge a case of leprosy as 'right/wrong'.
'Belief' is insanity, no matter how you slice it.
Segundo, 'religion' is the congregation of those infected with the same or similar strains of 'belief'. In other words, based on insanity.
And it's all ego/thought where 'beliefs' exist.
All the rules and exclusivity and shoulds and shouldn'ts and us vs them and conditionals and duality, etc... etc... etc... of the ego, is exemplary of 'religions', that egoic reflection.
Mysticism transcends the vanity/ego of 'religion'.
Yes, it is true what religion says about 'lust', but only in (that vain egoic context of) religion.
Lust is as 'natural' (for a certain demographic, teenagers, for example) as Love. People have to get their toes wet in the surf before going deeper. There is no 'choice', the progression is natural, for some. Many never progress beyond their lusts.
To each unique individual, his own! *__-
Lust isn't any more 'wrong' or 'right' than sneezing or itching!


Quote:

I failed to do this and because of other factors, such as my mind being in a weakened state, it caused my own destruction.



And yet here you are, 'better' from the experience. You don't sound destroyed.

Quote:

What's wrong with lust? In my opinion, it disturbs the peace of the individual feeling it by making him or her want something outside himself. It has its purpose so it is not evil but it does need to be transformed or sublimated because in of itself, it leads to a dead end in the nervous system.



One thing about those lusts is that they keep the species alive to seek out all that Enlightenment.
Few seek enlightenment with empty bellies and physical unmet needs.
And again, we have no choice in the matter. At any moment in our existence, what we experience, say, think, do... is the manifestation of who and what we are, at this moment! Sometimes we are lusty. If we are also human, that is, as 'lust' is a human quality.
What is the difference between 'desire' and 'lust'? None that I can see.

Quote:

As long as you are perceiving an attractive women as being very different from a non attractive women you are not perceiving reality correctly but through a restrictive hormonal perceptual filter.



One can say that about anything. If you had no hormones at all, you can still name an endlessly list of your 'filters', if that were a valid assertion that you are making.
We all have our natural tendencies, and there is no choice in the matter. One does not suddenly decide to prefer caramel over strawberry.
All that can ever be perceived is Reality/Truth; there is no 'incorrect way' to perceive Truth!
ALL Perspectives are limited/incomplete (that's why there are so many of them us)!

"The complete Universe (Reality/Truth/God/'Self!'/Tao/Brahman... or any feature herein...) can be completely defined/described as the synchronous sum-total of all Perspectives!" - Book of Fudd
ALL INCLUSIVE!!!

Quote:

This is what I realized. With this filter removed you see everyone the same.



By 'realized', perhaps you mean that you 'intellectually' think things are like that, but you do not have that actual experience

Quote:

Of course you still can perceive the difference between a physically attractive woman and an ugly woman and beauty is still a desirable trait, but the over emphases on it is lost. Lust causes you to overvalue women, especially attractive women.



Again, at what point does 'value' become 'overvalue', at what point does your "Of course you still can perceive the difference between a physically attractive woman and an ugly woman" become 'discrimination' between all these 'people who you see as the same', and 'lust'?
When does your desire for desirable traits become 'overemphasis'; do you date a 'dog' regularly? (To keep the balance?)

Yes, I am aware of what the insanity and lack of understanding and Enlightenment of religion has to say about many things. Just look at the state of the world to see the 'proof in that puddin', puddin'! *__-


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OfflinePeyote Road
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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: nameless1]
    #24676245 - 10/01/17 08:39 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I think it's a personal balance. I'm saying the risk of lust is that it can cause you to go out of balance. If you want the higher levels of peace you need to sublimate it.  At least thats how it seems to me.

Quote:


And yet here you are, 'better' from the experience. You don't sound destroyed.




Just because I am capable of typing on a message board? It's possible to type on message boards in horrible states of internal torture and disarray. I'm quite ill and my sex drive is broken now, I can't masturbate or have sex without risking my symptoms becoming much worse. It's really bad. I can't enjoy life anymore, it's just a shadow of what once was.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra


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Re: The dangers of sexual energy/orgasm [Re: Peyote Road]
    #24677051 - 10/02/17 03:16 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Peyote Road said:
I think it's a personal balance. I'm saying the risk of lust is that it can cause you to go out of balance. If you want the higher levels of peace you need to sublimate it.  At least thats how it seems to me.



I understand what you are saying.
In the larger picture, all is balanced, all is perfection at any and all moments, even when we are uncomfortable with the Reality/Truth of the moment.
A meaningful quote that I like to share is from Rene' Guenon;

"Every kind of partial and transitory ('apparent' - n) disequilibrium must perforce contribute towards the great equilibrium of the whole.."

Quote:

It's possible to type on message boards in horrible states of internal torture and disarray.



Frankly, and I DO hear you, but "horrible states of internal torture and disarray" seem like the default position of the vast majority of humanity, especially young and inexperienced humanity!
It will pass.

Quote:

I'm quite ill and my sex drive is broken now, I can't masturbate or have sex without risking my symptoms becoming much worse. It's really bad. I can't enjoy life anymore, it's just a shadow of what once was.



You know, I can't even recommend that you speak to a pro about this stuff without knowing (though, I suspect) your age.
But speaking with someone older and Wiser who knows your situation and can Empathize might be helpful.

If the sex isn't working at the moment, perhaps that is to point out that you might have something else to deal with as a priority.
Are you ready to be a daddy?
If not, then your inability to masturbate is about the extent of your pragmatic problem, and there are other means of relieving stress.

Perhaps some 'spiritual practice', such as Zen (thoughtless) meditation, or, perhaps martial arts?
Anything to help you gain focus and Perspective by sincere practice.

Finally, if ever there is anything that you do not like (or 'do', for that matter), just do nothing for long enough, and it will pass! *__-


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