Home | Community | Message Board

Kraken Kratom
Please support our sponsors.

General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
Loc: The will to power
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
I am an emotional zombie.
    #2457676 - 03/21/04 05:24 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

The last ten years of my life has been kind of strange. Like there is something missing in me. I dont quite feel "there". I dont really feel anything anymore. Joy, hate, compassion, love. Not even rage. When something happens that i know should make me really pissed of i start trying to provoke myself. To emulate the real feeling. It may look believable and sometimes even feel like it but the edge is simply not there.
I go out and party, meet girls and have sex every once in a while yet at the end of it all i know that deep inside of me i feel nothing. I didn't really have fun, my feeling for the girl where fake and I'm still just and lonely as the night before.

Sometimes i fear that there is a conspiracy against me, and that the people i trust the most secretly drugs me to keep me docile and in line, fearing that the real me will once again surface and wreak havoc amongst them. Everyone prefers me the way i am today, responsible, calm and ambitious. Everyone but me...
I know that i will probably never be that guy again. Never feel things so intensely and see things so clearly. I can feel my energy being drained.

I know some thoughts i have are just paranoid delusions, constructs that my mind made up to bring order in to chaos, but still i wonder.
I haven't done any drugs for about 9 months so i know I'm not suffering from some kind of episode and i really haven't done any massive amounts of drugs in a long time either so i doubt i have permanently friend my brain but who know?

I dont really know why i wrote this. My mind just feels so heavy. I need to vent.

Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Freedom Code

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 97
Loc: point no point
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: I am an emotional zombie. [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #2458787 - 03/21/04 11:34 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

Read "A Wild Sheep Chase" by Haruki Murakami

Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator

Registered: 01/08/04
Posts: 364
Loc: nth ring
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: I am an emotional zombie. [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #2458823 - 03/21/04 11:46 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

when was the last time you went home?
have you detached?

perhaps you need to get away, to where you ran around when your where 9 or so.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
Re: I am an emotional zombie. [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #2458938 - 03/22/04 12:24 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

I feel you, bro.

Old souls that have expirenced a vast many things before often arent emotionally excited to the same repeated events.

The decision in my life I have made (which is mostly true, with a hint of falseness :wink:) to live this life for the service of others and to act as a catalyst for their evolution. It is a very narrow path and I accept that.

The illusion does not cause me pain or emotional distress. Its fake. What is real is now, keeping the future in mind, and facing the past, as well as your fears. As to feeling alone, I promise you; you are not alone. I'm sure you affect others in ways you cant conceive because it wasnt meant for you to conceive or think about. Just react to things the way you are.

Be positive and surrender to peace. Resistance leads to lots of conf(del)usion

Edited by psyka (03/22/04 12:27 AM)

Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Music = Math + Emotion ( = The Development of Man...?)
( 1 2 all )
PhanTomCat 2,005 29 06/10/05 11:00 AM
by fireworks_god
* Watching our Thought and Emotions
( 1 2 all )
JoseLibrado 1,861 36 06/07/08 09:07 PM
by backfromthedead
* Emotions and addiction silversoul7 611 4 08/26/04 08:58 PM
by Strumpling
* Emotions
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
Droz 5,861 100 06/19/07 09:24 PM
by Booby
* Logic, Emotion, Mathematics, and the Universe
( 1 2 3 all )
Anonymous 4,300 47 02/23/04 09:29 AM
by raytrace
* Do negative emotions serve us?
( 1 2 all )
aelephant 3,545 23 01/18/07 07:47 PM
by fireworks_god
* emotions provide awareness or take it away? crunchytoast 1,678 18 11/24/05 01:51 PM
by crunchytoast
* Freedom Of Emotional States Evan_1107 563 0 07/06/07 08:41 AM
by Evan_1107

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, CosmicJoke, Diploid, DividedQuantum
558 topic views. 1 members, 4 guests and 6 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Out-Grow.com - Mushroom Growing Kits & Supplies
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.028 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 14 queries.