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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Overdose and still using
    #2457330 - 03/21/04 02:55 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

About 3 weeks ago I overdosed on an enormous amount of opiates and benzodiazepines. Was in a coma and spent a week in the hospital. Almost didnt make it out alive. Problem is, i'm still using. Ive been struggling with opiate addiction for years. Im horribly depressed. I feel like shit every moment of my life except for the first few minutes after i dose up. I'm only 18 years old. Today is extremely bad for some reason. Im not sure where to go and what to do. Im seeing a counselor once a week, but its doing nothing. I keep lieing to him and my parents about not using anymore. The depression, my poor health, and everything else is getting to me. I dont know how much longer i can do. Suicide is starting to enter my mind. Not sure where i'm going with this...but feels good to write it down. Thanks..  :shake:


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***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2457409 - 03/21/04 03:24 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

BlowMiNose, as you well know, I've "been there, done that, and got the holes in my shirt to prove it," so I do know that you are in a real difficult situation, and I understand. This is why I'm so cautionary on opiates, when I post in ODD. They can be a real bitch to quit...

My best advice is, that YOU are the only one who can make this escape happen. It's a bitch to quit, and it's only going to feel worse for a while, but ultimately, you will be free from addiction, and life will be great again. You just have to keep that in mind, while you're dealing with all the suffering that quitting entails...

It's a real bitch, and it's hard to quit, but YOU can make it happen, if you just turn that corner, and decide to take some action to get your life back in your own hands. Regardless of lying to others, you need to stop lying to yourself. Stop all of the cheap little rationalizations to use again, and again, and again... break the cycle of self-deception and self-destruction!

Be honest with yourself, and realize that you are out of control, and then take some drastic steps to get back in control. Throw out the drugs. Stay poor for a while, so you can't afford them. Avoid any friends who use. Be honest with the people close in your life so they can help. And, above all, realize that YOU need to make this happen for YOU -- nobody else can do that...

Everyone reaches a personal rock bottom when they have a moment of clarity, and make that ultimate shift in consciousness to gain back control of their life. Please try and do that sooner rather than later...

Especially at 18. Shit, you're still young and resilient enough to get through this, and get your life on track, so do it before it gets any worse -- and yes, it does get worse...

Get Clean, And Go To College!? :laugh:


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2457429 - 03/21/04 03:33 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

PS: And STOP mixing benzos with opiates. That's a sure ticket for respiratory depression and death, and totally unnecessary. Plus it's further complicating your physical addiction by getting the GABA receptor system involved, which is really stupid, because it's a more hellish system to fuck with that the opiate system, and it's one of the few things you can use to help mediate the opiate withdrawal -- does that make sense?

Also, find some Clonidine. It's a central alpha-adreno-receptor-agonist and will help with the blood pressure issues, etc. Getting some professional help, might not be a bad idea, and those support groups can also be useful to help keep you on track, but ultimately it's up to YOU!


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Edited by Papaver (03/21/04 03:35 PM)


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Offlinecastaway
Isanybodyreallyhome?
Male User Gallery
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 553
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2457585 - 03/21/04 04:51 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Cigarettes is the toughest thing I ever quit; I tried quitting coffea but didn't make it.

I keep hoping to get feed-back on this little item I picked up but haven't received any info as to it's effectiveness so far.

http://www.maps.org/forum/1998/msg00579.html

"Apomorphine. - Apomorphine is certainly the best method of withdrawal that I
have experienced. It does not completely illiminate the withdrawal symptoms,
but reduces them to endurable level. The acute symptoms such as stomach and
leg cramps, convulsive or manic states are completely controlled. In fact,
Apomorphine treatment involves less discomfort than a reduction cure.
Recovery is more rapid and more complete. I feel that I was never completely
cured of the craving for morphine until I took Apomorphine treatments.
Perhaps the "psychological" craving for morphine that persists after a cure is
not psychological at all, but metabolic. More potent variations of the
apomorphine formula might prove qualitatively more effective in treating all
forms of addictioin."

It might make an interesting study for someone who wins the lottery and wants to establish a charitable foundation focused on the alleviation of suffering.


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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: Papaver]
    #2457638 - 03/21/04 05:09 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I am going to seek some more help i think. Thank you for the support papaver. Yes, mixing benzos with opiates was stupid, and I will never partake in that again. I just have a bad addiction to them as well. Ive been good about getting off the benzos though. Anyways, thanks again


--------------------
***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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OfflineAtomisk
all forms areself awareness

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2457834 - 03/21/04 06:19 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

i too suffer from an addiction on oxy. its stolen my life.
i made an appt with a psychologist to deal with this and deppression, which is probably stemmed from oxy abuse.

i was doing it for 4 months (200+mg daily) before i realized it had stolen my life.


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o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.


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OfflineAtomisk
all forms areself awareness

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2457843 - 03/21/04 06:25 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

also, if i were you i would be honest with veryone around you, parents, doctors, etc... and of course yourself.


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o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.


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Offlinexjessesxgirlx
present

Registered: 01/14/04
Posts: 3,287
Loc: inside
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2457944 - 03/21/04 07:02 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

whoa...be careful  :blush: and listen to papaver!


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You know Rents, for a vegetarian, you're a mean shot.


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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: Atomisk]
    #2458209 - 03/21/04 08:56 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

atomisk, im glad you realized it was stealing your life in just 4 months. Sometimes it takes longer. I hope you DO seek help and it helps. Thanks for posting. Let me know how you do, and i'll do the same.  :heart: :heart:


--------------------
***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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OfflineStonedShroom
OG shroomerite
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/22/00
Posts: 10,871
Last seen: 1 month, 17 days
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2458880 - 03/22/04 12:03 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

have you considered in-patient rehab? usually if you almost die because of an OD the goverenment will pay for rehab.

My cousin mixed valium, methadone, lortabs, and a lot of alcohol and OD'd. He lived and he's getting free rehab.

It was either rehab or jail.

Maybe laws are different in each state though


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We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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Offlinecastaway
Isanybodyreallyhome?
Male User Gallery
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 553
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: Rehabilitation [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2459026 - 03/22/04 12:59 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Rehabilitation
to social expectation
the governments equation

When the chips are down
don't screw around
with higher illumination

----------------------------

When I was in rehab they told me I was dellusional.

"YOU are the authority HERE..." I replied, "...and so I will defer to your opinion."


Edited by castaway (03/22/04 01:05 AM)


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Offlinejong21
Mycologist/CSMajor

Registered: 05/28/03
Posts: 576
Loc: Berkeley, CA
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Rehabilitation [Re: castaway]
    #2459372 - 03/22/04 03:47 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Couldn't have said it better papaver.

Life can offer much more than a high if you let it. Best of luck to you blowminose.


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I either talk about my friends in the first or third person, but I never, ever talk about myself on this website. Except that last sentence.


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Offlineshaggy101
Male

Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2462947 - 03/23/04 06:15 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Man I remeber talking to you about coke quite a while ago and thinking this guy has the same thing in his personality that I have ..which is the tendency to abuse :frown:

Papaver gave some excellent advice
but I think that last thing was the best!

Go to college!
I am confident you can break your addictions and move on,
just start thinking about things that really matter to you.

just think man 2-4 years are gonna pass by either way..and youll still be young..why not have a guaranteed kick ass time, and a degree :laugh:

as for breaking the actual addiction
tis tough
If I could have afforded help I certainly would have accepted it
and if you (or anyone who loves you) can I would definately recommend it.

But I have quit
and it was tough
but I know you can do it man!

There are only three kinds of people like us ..people headed for addiction, addicts, and people who have recovered -and the last ones are by far the coolest :laugh:

www.addictionrecoveryguide.com

Atomisk posted that..

Good luck to you friend
peace and shroomyness


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/24/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2463133 - 03/23/04 09:22 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Well you're so young (18), your life is basically just begining..

Keep fighting the drugs, keep hammering away at it; the biggest hurdle to get over is basically just feeling horribly sick for 7 days or so... it's real hard, but you do get your life back; and like papaver said, it's a whole lot easier to finally kick when you have no money...

It can be overcome, and you would be surprised how little the drugs actually meant to you once you get clean,,, after a while of hammering away at an addiction, through trial and error your body and mind will just realize that you simply just don't like the drugs anymore. Like papaver (and me also) --we don't even want to touch the drugs because we've learned that we don't even enjoy them, because the only thing they really do is make ya sick.

There truly is a great light at the end of the tunnel of opiate addiction; and once you're out of it, you won't have to even think about dope or even want to do it anymore. So, you can truly heal your body and mind from such an addiction; it just takes some serious hammering away, and some serious sick-time.

The way i felt about it, was that your body is going to pay dearly for each and everytime you get high and feel good, than with that you will have to feel equally as bad during the withdrawls.. and it helps a lot to be completely broke, so that when youre done withdrawling you don't even have the option to go find more drugs once youre done withdrawling and can stand up on your feet again, your feet might take that money and get more; so, ya have to really lock yourself down..hide yourself from dope buddies..stay broke until you're feeling strong (and finally smart enough) to not use the money to sicken yourself up on drugs..


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2464181 - 03/23/04 05:12 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Hey, BlowMiNose. Guess what? If you really want to you can get through it and I completely support you. I've never done opiates or benzos or anything like that so I can't quite relate but if you ever want to talk about anything you can add me to MSN and i'll try and help you get through anything you're having trouble with.

FreakKidTha1st@hotmail.com

Just keep at it dude. You can do it! :smile:


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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2467887 - 03/24/04 04:31 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Thanks guys so much! I really appreciate it. I havnt stopped yet, but about to be broke. Im gonna try to do the no money thing...lol  Im also registered to start an intensive outpatient program at a local hospital. My friend is in it now and said its good. I hope that will help as well  :yesnod:


--------------------
***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/24/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2468125 - 03/24/04 05:39 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Outpatient program.. sounds like Methadone treatment..

My advice about that has always been, Don't take that easy road (methadone)..

Yeah, go broke, and go underground (i/e Don't talk to your "friends" in treatment centers, just hide until your past being clean for at least a few weeks man..).

I wouldn't want to go to rehab with any friends that i used dope with.. the only way for me, was to go broke and to go underground. 'Didn't even mention to anyone i was going clean - i just did it, and hid until i was better enough. If you decide to slip off again, your dope-friends will still be there, and from (what i experienced) the nature of the drug tells "friends" to get people that are cleaned up back onto dope - and for free.
You: "Man i've gotten clean and havent been high for 2 weeks, i feel better now"
Them: "Really? damn... well what are you doing now, i've got some dope c'mon over, or ill come over let's get high."

And then an example when you are both on dope.

You: "Hey man, i just ran out today, do you have any to just spare until i score later so im not sick please?"
Them: "Hell no dude, i went through thick and thin to get this, go get your own."

----I dunno, I honestly found it the nature of the drug, to almost take peoples descisions over, and "help the drug" to get more people on dope..or go back on it.. Bee careful man, your dope-friends can really have it in for you.

When you use dope everyday it starts to get you thinking that it is 'not a big deal'. Its just dope, when you use it, the drug starts to lead you on like its just another fun-drug like pot, something you can share... and, to non-chalantly offer it to a friend that has never used before, for their first time ya know..


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InvisiblePhoshaman
L.A, L.A., BigCity of Dreams.
Male
Registered: 06/02/99
Posts: 1,521
Loc: Downtown L.A.
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #2468310 - 03/24/04 06:46 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

GG. Agreed.

To get off, I just had to *disappear* from my "friends."

Haven't talked to them in many months...
and barely get the urge anymore.

Everytime I ever relapsed previously was because a "friend" had some, or a "friend" was going to get some.


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Offlinethe free thinker
salesman
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1,877
Loc: twin cities
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: BlowMiNose]
    #2472672 - 03/25/04 12:33 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Yes the rehab is totally neccesary. Not neccesarily the methadone, but I don't think you will do it on your own. You need to accept that some things are out of your control, and you need to seek help.


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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Overdose and still using [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #2472927 - 03/25/04 02:25 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Hey greatone. Its not methadone treatment, its just an outpatient program. I dont want to go the methadone route. Yeah i agree about not wanting to be in the same rehab group as a fellow junkie i know, that will nto be good. I should probably get away from those "friends" but its so hard. They do try to keep you on it, even by offering you free dope..then being assholes about it later. You're so right. Arg...  :crying:


--------------------
***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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Amazon Shop: Papaver Somniferum

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