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Madge the Smoking Vag
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Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 84,358
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
    #2457023 - 03/21/04 12:56 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Its getting worse and worse, I see no end to this downward spiral and I don't know what to do anymore. Not a day goes by that I don't think about suicide but I don't think I could go through with it but everyday it seems like a better and better choice. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here, life is just way to much for me to handle


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Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 553
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Life [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #2457101 - 03/21/04 01:22 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Most of the time I feel non-existence would be the preferable state, but then there are times I enjoy life.

Sometimes Revalations 1:9 works for me...

"I John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom, and patient endurance that are ours..."

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Registered: 01/14/04
Posts: 3,287
Loc: inside
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Life [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #2457229 - 03/21/04 02:11 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

everytime you struggle with something, it's supposed to make you stronger when you come out the other side. I know what you're saying tho, sometimes shit seems overwhelming and it doesn't seem worth the trouble but life is a gift...if you look closely at it you'll see I think. don't leave, do you realize you'll be hurting your family n loved ones?

You know Rents, for a vegetarian, you're a mean shot.

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Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: Life [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #2457351 - 03/21/04 03:04 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

heh man
the first step for me was expressing simply what you just said, after that opening up..here..online, it really got the wheels of change movin for me,
not immediately but as I expressed
I began to understand it better
and eventually start to work through it.

this started maybe six months ago,
and although I have my ups and downs

I am feeling alot better!

and whats best is
I know my future is going to be better than ever.
..a strange thing ive noticed about time in my 21 years on this rock,
although we will always go through times of trial,
if you choose to you can always come out on top!

and whats more
strangely better than you were

heres a little something from a book im reading this morning.
its by Bija Bennet(a student of Deepak Chopra)

catching your breath
is what happens
when you find yourself
when you discover
that your
totally here
and alive

You dont have to be confused.
You dont have to think about how it could or couldn't be.
just live.
just be.
just breath.

if you want to learn more about the science of being,
and meditation
just let me know,
or do search
key word: meditation

heh for now man do me a favor and just sit and breath..close your eyes
and let your thoughts drift
to your breaths

focus on them

there is no right or wrong way
just relax

there is no before or after
just now
this moment
a moment of wholeness...

To many times have I shrugged off the powers of
do this for as litle as 0ne minute
or as many as you want!

afterwords when your mind is cleared

It is a great time to look at your life..

look with eyes of truth
and understand that everyone
is, has been, or will be in the same state that you are in.

look honestly at your life
and who you are
remember the only constant is change
and who you want to be is just as much who you are
as a man thinketh
so it is
peace and shroomyness friend

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ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 17,805
Loc: Toronto, eh?
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Life [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #2461422 - 03/22/04 09:20 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I know exactly what you are feeling. I've been there many, many times. It's hard to pull yourself out of a negative downward spiral, especially when you can't seem to set your gaze on anything that is positive.

Try to think about things you like to do. Or that make you happy. Maybe you enjoy playing guitar.. or like to hang with your friends.. etc. Whatever it is, go out and do it more. Concentrate more on the positive things in your life right now, even if you only seem to be able to find a few things that make you happy right now. Concentrate on that. Once your spirits begin to lift by doing so, so will the negative feelings and thoughts.

It's funny how we seem to concentrate on the negative things in life. When we are happy, it's cool and all but we almost take advantage of it. When we are sad or down, it's the worst thing in the world and we always seem to wallow in it. It's too bad we couldn't reverse it..

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
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Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,871
Loc: isle de la muerte Flag
Last seen: 11 months, 13 days
Re: Life [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #2461787 - 03/22/04 11:03 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Oh Yeah, I'm a Buddhist who likes poppy tea. I always feel so guilty when I am going through the horrible withdrawls. I say I'll never do it again. Then shit at work kills me and I go back to it. It fucks up my entire programs saying mantras and meditating. It fucking kills me too. Then I smoke more and drink and end up having that chronic cough and feel like a drunken dope as I drift and it takes months to get off. And then I get off finally right before I give up all hope. And I cross my fingers that there won't be as next time. As my lungs relearn to breath and my mind accept patience and calm.

...or something

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