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Offlinellamaboy
the weasel thatsnagged the bee

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 563
Loc: Portland PNW
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
i need a little help
    #2448520 - 03/18/04 08:28 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i have a girlfriend who is without a doubt an addict, and it is my fault. i do a business with certain illicet drugs, but i have always kept them around the house, and she has a tendancy to get into them.

i'm tired of my lifestyle, and i have cleaned up my act, but do to certain circumstances, i cannot give up my business just yet. the problem with this is, those chemicals are still in the house, and she WANTS them.


i cannot get it through her head that she is an addict and that she needs to stop. i have removed all pills from her, and she no longer has access to them.

i too, have stopped using all chemicals, but she will nto stop, and i extremely worried about her.

i don't know what to do. i don't know if i should call her parents and tell them what is going on, that she is addicted to all these perscription medications.

and i can only blame myself for the situation that i am in right now, for what i have put her through. if it were not for me, she never would have had access to them, and i am the one that brought them to her.

now that i have taken them away, all she wants is her pills. and i don't know what to do. she's not so far gone that if she were to not have her pills that she would die. but she feels that she needs them. if only you could here the desperation in her voice when i told her that i could not give her any more of what she wants...

she is an addict, there is no doubt about it...she will use anything and everything to get high. i'm just afraid for her safety and i have no idea what i am supposed to do.

she always says that "but i can take them in moderation" and i tell her that she can't, that SHE IS an addict...but she doesn't care. i need to know what to do.

i love her with all my heart, and she's willing to give me up before she gives up her lifestyle...

i have no problems with her doing hallucinogens or pot, but the pills that are going through our house are much more dangerous than that...very addictive, and she doesn't seem to realize it, and there is no way that i can make her realize it.

i fear for her safety, i fear for her life. and i don't know what to do.

i have sobered up to lead by example, i have quit drinking, quit smoking cigarettes, quit popping pills....but she does not care! she says that the straight edge life is not for her. she thinks that it's some sort of christian bullshit.

i know that drug use in moderation is OK...but not when you're addict, and i can't it through her head that it is an all or nothing situation....she thinks that she can just pop a pill here and there, and that she can control herself, but i've seen her before...she goes off the wall...

the last time that there were certain chemicals in the house, she thought it would be fun to eat 28mg of xanax, why? i don't know.

i just want some opinions from anybody who has gone through this before...the best that i could come up with is lead by example...but this does't seem to me working.

truth be told, she'd chose the chemicals over me. and that scares me...i don't want to come home some day, and find her dead, and i know i will!

what the fuck am i supposed to do. she is the love of my life, and there is nothing i can do to keep her from hurting herself in this way.

i've even talked to her about going to rehab, but she doesn't think that she needs to do, she thinks that she's okay...that she can control herself. anyone who pops 12 doridens(if you know what those are) at 8 in the morning just for the fuck of. has no control! but she thinks that sh'es invinsable, and there's nothing i can do or say to keep her from doing what she's doing.

is there anything that i can do to save her from her life?


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InvisibleJenny
part of thewhole
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/03/00
Posts: 5,614
Loc: Columbus, OHIO
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2448665 - 03/18/04 09:01 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

you don't wanna hear this, but the first thing you have to do if you seriously want to quit drugs is to change your environment. That means breaking up with her. You being around her is enough for her to use. If you seriously care about her, give her up, because if you are dealing then thats fucked up and she'll never quit. Its like trying to go on a diet in a candystore. It doesnt' work.

This reminds me of a friend i had that was going out with a meth dealer (also a friend at the time) It just ain't gonna happen if youre around it, nonetheless addicted.

as i'm sure you're aware opiate/benzos addiction is a hardcore scary thing. Please just do whats right and take care.

:heart: :3rd_eye: :heart:


--------------------

Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated than that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.


Edited by Jenny (03/18/04 09:04 PM)


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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: Jenny]
    #2449676 - 03/19/04 12:54 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Jenny's on target.

If she's in such denial that she can't see the difference between popping tons of pills and occasionally lighting up or tripping on shrooms, she's not being reasonable at all.

She has made her own choices -- don't waste time blaming yourself -- especially now that you're doing everything you can, especially changing your own life, to help her.
If it gets too bad, some sort of clinical thing might be recommended.

Sorry, man. Really.


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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Offlinellamaboy
the weasel thatsnagged the bee

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 563
Loc: Portland PNW
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: i need a little help [Re: valour]
    #2450407 - 03/19/04 03:21 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

it doesn't much matter now...she broke into my stash somehow..or stole some before i locked them up, and got into a car accident...she is no in the ICU and they don't know what's going to happen to her...and it's all my fault

i was talking to her whilst she was in the ICU and all she cared about was her car...she was devistated that her car was totalled...she didn't care at all...and then she thinks that she can keep taking these fucking pills.

i can't dump her
the only thing that i can do is irradicate my situation....make it so she has no access to anything...fuck what i owe people...i almost just killed my girlfriend.

and i am the one to blame...i brought them into this house.


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/24/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2450712 - 03/19/04 07:53 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

to eat 28mg of xanax




Well that is basically a suicidal dosage of xanax.

Secondly, sorry to hear about her & you.

Most addicts will find the drugs, whether its from you or someone else, they'll find them.

Now, (from my perspective on what you've said), the drugs are causing very-obvious concequences. See..(how do i say this)..if you and her were using a shit-load of drugs and what-not, and nobody was crashing their car, nobody was getting arrested, nobody was aguing or scared, -than neither of you would be considered druggies.. if nobody gets hurt or caught or lose time at work or struggle financially because of drugs, than they don't really have a problem. It's when Consequences of drug use happen, that's when (and only when) it is a drug-problem, or drug-habit. Then the consequences pile up and ya spin out of control, and into shit.

You're the one with all the fucking drugs and pills dude, but, you're not forcing any pills down her throat, she doesn't and didn't have to try them but she chose to.

Personally, i'd get all the fucking drugs out of my life and clean up. -Get a real fucking job too.


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2451601 - 03/19/04 02:56 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

That's terrible about the car accident. I hope she is doing ok. My only advice to you about trying to help her overcome the addiction is that it will be most difficult for her in the beginning and gradually it will get easier and easier to resist. She has to want it for herself first, want to become clean, and later or sooner (if you keep encouraging her to quit), she's gonna realize that being a pillhead isn't a good lifestyle.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2451858 - 03/19/04 04:27 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'm sorry, I wish I had some advice to offer, but what I would've said to you has already been covered. Hang in there man. You cannot blame yourself for where she is, she cannot blame others for her own choices.


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2451891 - 03/19/04 04:46 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I'm sorry to here this man.
If you could get a hold of Ibogaine then see if she' willing to eat it. Ibogaine is just now scientifically proven to clean away all drug addiction. I would research on it first though. I think they are opening up clinics for this stuff to.


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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Anonymous #1

Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2452718 - 03/19/04 09:27 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Bluntest answer yet
Get rid of your fucking stash since that is obviously what you have to do to stop her. Its not worth keeping a few pills to make some quick cash if your girlfriend is unknowingly killing herself. I have no compassion for you at all, only for her, but don't get me wrong, I understand YOUR position. Get her out of this environment and DENY her access, PERIOD. Get a job and conform god damnit, fuck having constant access to ADDICTIVE pills. Her life depends on it.


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Offlineoggleman
Stranger
Male
Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 281
Loc: Chicago
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2454085 - 03/20/04 01:31 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I agree with organic, you are her supplier, so if she has a problem nobody else in the world is more able to cut off her supply than her supplier. She says she would choose pills over you but she obviously hasnt realized that without you, she has no supply, so she doesnt wanna lose you, but not for the right reason. This is a fucked up situation and I completely understand the feelings of guilt you are going through, so I strongly suggest one of these two things:

Break up with her.

or

Get rid of your stash.

No ifs ands or buts about it, if you dont do one of these two things she wont get better, period. Chemical dependence counseling aint gonna do shit if she still has access. She obviously doesnt wanna admit she has a problem, so you are going to have to make her realize that she does.

In fact if my girl told me she would choose pills over me i'd break up with her then and there, fuck that. She is using you.


--------------------


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Invisibleshriek
*********

Registered: 12/13/03
Posts: 3,274
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2454112 - 03/20/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

gettin rid of all pills and she prolly dump you for another one that can supply her, dump her and she probably gonna end up with another one thats gonna supply her. harsh but most likely true. pill addiction is some of the worst addiction to get rid off. the clue is to make her understand that she has a problem and must stop until then your pretty much shit outta luck. its a bitch ass situation, i understand you but i dont feel sorry for you. its your own goddamn fault , now be responisble and do the right things in life, you got her into this you get her out of this, i sound harsh maybe now but i write what i honestly think. sorry to hear about the car accident hopes she is allright.


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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: shriek]
    #2454164 - 03/20/04 02:04 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

How old are you and she, llama?

If it's this bad, it might be time to consider professional help.
It will suck, but this is her life you're dealing with here.


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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Offlinellamaboy
the weasel thatsnagged the bee

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 563
Loc: Portland PNW
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: i need a little help [Re: Organic]
    #2455147 - 03/20/04 07:11 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

we're both 21...which is sad..being addicted to something like this at this age.


she's an addict, but she just refuses to realize it. she thinks that it's okay to pop a pill here and there just for fun, and i keep trying to drill it into her head that SHE CAN'T!....and addict is an addict, there is no casual use with an addict...once you start you never stop.


i have decided to hide the pills from her. we'll see what happens from there. if she leaves me so be it. at least i'll know why she stayed with me for so long.


and btw, i do have a real job. i make close to 3 grand a month with a real confromist job...i sell pills to bring in close to an extra 3 grand a month, and also to have a fun time when i go to a party.

i do not drink, i do not smoke, i do not smoke pot...i just enjoy a pill once or twice a month.


i don't ask for anyone sympathy in this matter, it's just that i had to have someone to talk to, and i thank you all for your input, it was greatly appreciated.

i almost killed her
she doesn't think that it was my fault.
and even after the accident, she thinks that it's okay to take a pill whenever the fuck she wants. from this point forward...she has no access to any pills that are in the house..

as they say. tough titty said the kitty

if you'd like to see what she did to her car here you go.





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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2455511 - 03/20/04 10:05 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Okay, here's the thing -- you need to stop kicking the shit out of yourself.
Accept whatever there is and move on.
This is the only way to help her - and you -
Sure, you may have had a hand in her chosen path, but now you're set on making things right. Worrying over the past will just make you feel crappy without solving anything.
Look forward, brother.


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2459237 - 03/22/04 02:14 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I know she got the pills from you, but the accident was not your fault - she has control over her actions and she chose to take the pills.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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Offlinellamaboy
the weasel thatsnagged the bee

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 563
Loc: Portland PNW
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: i need a little help [Re: enotake2]
    #2460443 - 03/22/04 04:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i reply to everyone...i just wanted to thank you all for your support, it has meant a lot to me. i know that it was her choice to take the pills, but had it not been for me, they wouldn't have been there for her to take.


as it stands now, there are no pills around for her to take...i hope that she wasn't so far gone on benzo's that she goes through withdrawls, but i guess that would teach her a lesson. i decided to flush my entire stash, and call it quits...i couldn't be a hypocrite by keeping the pills in the house and denying her access to them. if she decides to hit the streets and get her fix, that's one thing, and i'm through with her...i've done everything i can to help her.


i can only hope that she gets better from this point forward.


thank you all for you're support
you are a great bunch of people

Dan.


p.s. i hope that i never have to deal with this again.


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Offlinesykobish
ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
 User Gallery

Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 17,805
Loc: Toronto, eh?
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: llamaboy]
    #2461540 - 03/22/04 09:53 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Looks like I got to this thread a little too late.  I would have suggested pretty much the same as what everyone else has already.  Don't blame yourself for her accident OR for her addiction.  Sure, you may have made it easier for her to get the shit, but dude, you didn't make her an addict.  She made herself one.  If she didn't get it from you, she would have got it from someone else.  Don't keep beating yourself up like that.

She also doesn't sound like she wants to quit.  Keep an eye on her.  She will more than likely begin finding her own hookups for it since it's not so easily accessable for her.  Addicts don't just stop doing it cuz it's not so easy to get anymore..

You're in a pretty tight spot.  I've dated guys who had drug problems and I've tried to help them numerous times.  The one thing I have been able to confirm over and over again is the saying 'You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves'.  The end result was my decision to walk away from the situation and let them work it out on their own.  It's saddening and hard to do, but sometimes that's all you can do.

I can tell you love her, but some things you just can't fix with your love.  If she has such a big problem with it and on top of that, doesn't even realize that she HAS a problem, you may not be given any other choice.

I wish you the best of luck with her and I hope that she sees the light before it's too late and something drastic has to be done about it.  Please keep us posted on your situation.  We're here for you. :heartpump:


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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Offlineeve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,855
Loc: isle de la muerte Flag
Last seen: 20 days, 19 hours
Re: i need a little help [Re: Jenny]
    #2461702 - 03/22/04 10:39 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

You got her into it, you get her out of it!


--------------------
...or something







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Offlinethenetherworld
journeyman
Registered: 02/05/02
Posts: 67
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: i need a little help [Re: eve69]
    #2461751 - 03/22/04 10:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Dude, its just not your fault. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and your girlfriend is responsible for the choices and decisions she makes,period. The other sad fact is that I have young relatives on the same road shes on and there seems to be little to do to help them. Jail,rehab,rehab,jail, its a cycle, the fucking prescription shit is the absolute worst thing I've seen. Honestly, if I were you I would discover someone that is strong enough to survive, babysitting her and her unresponsible lifestyle will get you TIME, and thats about it.


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Offlinellamaboy
the weasel thatsnagged the bee

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 563
Loc: Portland PNW
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: i need a little help [Re: eve69]
    #2461875 - 03/22/04 11:25 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

i did not get her into it...she's always been addict...i was just her supplier. i should have never let it get as far as i did. but she has always been addictive personality. i don't blame myself for her addictive personality...i blame myself for what i got her into. and i'm getting her out of it. that's all there is to it.


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