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Offlineadamj
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Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,562
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Done my first song -- Mary.mp3 - 1.62MB
    #2445964 - 03/18/04 03:41 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

It's not in official song format (doesn't have a chorus) but I don't think it deters it in anyway. Enjoy.

Download "Mary.mp3" here


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: Done my first song -- Mary.mp3 - 1.62MB [Re: adamj]
    #2446620 - 03/18/04 11:44 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

The guitar progression is a good start.  The soloing is cool but would gel with the rhythm part more if the song had drums.  The vocals sound like an old hobo on horse tranquilizers.    :beer:


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youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Done my first song -- Mary.mp3 - 1.62MB [Re: question_for_joo]
    #2446667 - 03/18/04 12:08 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

The vocals sound like an old hobo on horse tranquilizers. 

:lol: I was going to be more diplomatic and say to show some confidence in your singing as overall it is a good song though I haven't a clue what it was about due to the mumbling and low volume level.

Also get some software to clean up the hiss. That stuff works magic.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineLocus
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Registered: 03/11/04
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Re: Done my first song -- Mary.mp3 - 1.62MB [Re: Swami]
    #2446891 - 03/18/04 01:31 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

yeah it's alright, the vocals could use some work too as could everything hehe, but a decent song i suppose.


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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlineadamj
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Re: Done my first song -- Mary.mp3 - 1.62MB [Re: Locus]
    #2447294 - 03/18/04 03:26 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah, my first time singing.... if ya wanna call it that, heh.

It's just the, I dunno the song is supposed to be soft, as are the vocals. But this mic isn't all that great on picking it up. When I sing louder, it sounds out of place.

here's the lyrics for those who can't make out the mumbling words :wink:

Oh Mary Mary, call the police,
I can't feel no more,

Mary, Mary, call the police,
I think I've done something wrong,

Bottle of pills, dancing the floor,
as my hand hangs so,

Alien eyed, I'm more than high,
my life ain't so strong,

Oh mary mary, call the police,
I think i've done something wrong,

Mary Mary, stop staring at me,
and help me get out the door,

Your eyes are sad, but your mouth is wide,
but I don't hear a love song,

Dressed in black, my eyes slip back,
Birds ain't singing no more,

Swing is empty, halls are filled,
Mary don't stare no more,

Oh Mary Mary, call the police,
I think I've done something wrong.



Oh Mary Mary, call the police,
Ive got just a little left,

It's times like this I so wish,
I was an old love song,

Mary Mary, don't you dare,
walk out the shining door,

Mary Mary, don't you dare,
leave me lying on the floor,

Oh mary mary, call the police,
I think I've done something wrong,


Edited by adamj (03/18/04 03:29 PM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: Done my first song -- Mary.mp3 - 1.62MB [Re: adamj]
    #2448549 - 03/18/04 08:34 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

The vocals can be soft, yet still clear and contain force. Re-record and before doing so, envision yourself as an experienced, powerful singer. Don't hunch over and close yourself down drowning in doubt about your abilities.

I think you have some talent there, now let it come through.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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