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OfflineFrog
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You're all Fucked up!
    #2445400 - 03/18/04 12:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Okay, all of you aren't fucked up.  Just some of you are.  J/K.  :grin:

I have been in the position of being "fucked up".  As I've said here before, I went for counseling.  I dispelled the grip that my childhood had on me and I moved on.  (Okay, I'm still working on it.  It's like the layers of an onion, ya know?)

Most people will not get counseling, even though we have all had traumatic childhoods, to an extent.  The extent to which our childhoods have been traumatic is a matter of relativity.

Because of the way we were raised, because of the relationships between us and our parents, we will seek out relationships with the opposite sex based on the issues that went unresolved with our parents.

Because of the way we were raised, we will react to certain comments made by others or to certain situations, in a fucked up manner.

If we all received counseling upon attaining adult-hood, we would probably do better in life.  We would make better marriages, find the job most suited to us, raise our children better, etc.

Why are people so adament against receiving counseling in order to resolve their childhood issues? 

Think about it, and I don't know if I can emphasize this enough:  You usually react to what someone says or does based on what happened to you in your childhood.  You will most likely keep choosing people to be in your life based on the unresolved issues of your childhood. 

Why wouldn't you get counseling, even if you thought you didn't need it, in order to work those issues out, if you thought it would help you to pick better people to be in your life?  To pick better situations in which to emesh youself?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2445463 - 03/18/04 12:32 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

How about less counseling - more quality parenting


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OfflineKingkole
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Shroomism]
    #2445498 - 03/18/04 12:43 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Good luck with that......

Parents can be so fucked some times.
I think people should only be allowed to bear children if the are "scanned" (i dont know the word) and if they arent right in the head then they have to have consouling and more test if they want to have kids.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Kingkole]
    #2445568 - 03/18/04 01:01 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I've thought for some time now that people should have to go to classes or counseling in order to become parents. I mean, holy fuck, we have to take a test to get a driver's license, right???


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2445619 - 03/18/04 01:13 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Personally I think I should resolve my own issues on my own. No one knows better than I how my mind works and what it has been through...so I have no reason to think that anyone but me will have the true answers I need :wink:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineLightningfractal
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Registered: 06/24/03
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Kingkole]
    #2445622 - 03/18/04 01:14 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

It's humorous the extent to which some people think that the system and more technology can solve the types of complex problems which exist today as a result of the same system.

Good luck with your "scanner" thingy man.  :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


--------------------
Hi how's it going, wanna kick Heroin basically painlessly on your own, in your own house, without any government "help" ,or the "help" of a crazy condescending, judgmental medical doctor? Read this:

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=7342616&page=0&fpart=all



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Offlineadamj
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Kingkole]
    #2445701 - 03/18/04 01:39 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

heh, parents...


CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!
CUT YOUR HAIR!

FUCKING CHRIST NOOOO!!!!!!!!!


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Offlineaaronumbra
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2445707 - 03/18/04 01:40 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Being an aspiring psychologist or psychiatrist, therapy has always been ineffective for me, because I know exactly what they are are going to do an say anyways. I know my own problems, being well versed in psychology. I know it's good for some people, but I already know my demons and the source of them, I just have to work through them in a way that works for like meditation and getting in touch with my spirituality.


--------------------
"The army is on Ecstasy, so they say. I read all about it in USA Today. They stepped up drug testing to make it go away. It's hard to kill the enemy rollin' on MDMA."

-Oysterhead


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OfflineFrog
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: trendal]
    #2445832 - 03/18/04 02:24 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trendal said:
Personally I think I should resolve my own issues on my own. No one knows better than I how my mind works and what it has been through...so I have no reason to think that anyone but me will have the true answers I need :wink:




Trendal, are you saying you can be objective enough to sort out the things that affected you as a child?  I believe this can be done, to an extent.  I have met exactly one person in my life who was smart enough to do this.  But even he still has some unresolved issues.  He's just content to let them be "issues" at this point.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineAlan Stone
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2446112 - 03/18/04 05:27 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Child traumas? I don't believe I have any, and I've searched my soul often enough. Indoctrination and desperate measures set out to change who I am, now those I know of.
I disagree on the counselling issue, though. Why would talking to a counselor be better than talking to a friend? Methinks you'd have to talk to a counselor for at least two years until they know how your mind works, because you'll probably mention only what bothers you at the moment when speaking to one.


--------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

- Aristotle


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OfflineMadHamish
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Alan Stone]
    #2446155 - 03/18/04 06:19 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

===> I've thought for some time now that people should have to go to classes or counseling in order to become parents. I mean, holy fuck, we have to take a test to get a driver's license, right???

Whoah! Does this imply that we'll have to get a licence for every aspect of our lives? (like going to a public toilet, or how to listen to music?)

===> How about less counseling - more quality parenting

Indeed, counceling could be better done, as the venerable (;)) Alan Stone commented, by friends and other connaiceurs. They at least are not listening because they need to earn their money with it :smile: and off course with the interest and caring of a friend...


--------------------
Valar Morghulis


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2446173 - 03/18/04 06:34 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trendal said:
Personally I think I should resolve my own issues on my own. No one knows better than I how my mind works and what it has been through...so I have no reason to think that anyone but me will have the true answers I need :wink:




Same for me. I used to be "fucked up". :wink: I've had a lot of issues I have had to deal with from my childhood. I consciously made the decision to evolve away from the dead end I was heading towards and with that pure intention, I have been able to resolve this shiznit. :grin:

Not many people are capable of doing it on their own, well, they are but they wouldn't know how, and they probably would need someone with experience and understanding to help them work through things. I've been told before that I would make a good psychologist.  :grin: I'm not going to become one, but I'm willing to help anyone "unofficially". :lol:

All the time, usually laying in bed at night before I go to sleep, a memory of some past event will pop into mind. They always have to do with some unresolved feeling or situtation too. The negative feelings I had then come back up and I experience them once again.

I then look at the situation that it stemmed from and put it into perspective, finding out what provoked that feeling. I then "resolve" it. :grin: I work through it and show myself what was really going on and I come to terms with what happened and what was felt, and I let it go and it is resolved, and I always end up with a smile on my face, an appreciation of life and the moment, and an eagerness for tomorrow. :laugh:

If that isn't self therapy, then I don't know what is. :wink:

And I think everyone can do this as well, as long as they are shown how. But there are a lot of times when someone has experienced something very emotionally overwhelming, and it is impossible for them to try treating themselves because when those feelings come back, they can't deal with it... that is when someone with a professional understanding and an approach to help is needed.

But for me, anything major like that was usually my own doing anyways, and I've always had a higher tolerance for experiencing that negativity.... it just needs to be put into perspective, I guess.

Q: What would one very powerful tool for resolving past issues and coming to terms with who you are and where you've been, and developing a positive lust for life and the moment?

A: (to quote the hookah-toking caterpillar in Alice In Wonderland):

"THE MUSHROOM OF COURSE!!" :mushroom2:

:lol:

I once had a trip where it started to go into negativity. I didn't have a good experience and I ended up laying on the floor throwing every negative thing I possibly could at myself. Painful to say the least.... self destructive certainly. After I had thrown every negative thought I could at myself, and I had nothing left to hit myself with, every ounce of hate of myself and disgust was released.... I was still there and all there was to do was build myself back up. :smirk:

I saw it as a prime example of a positive state of mind versus a negative one (and also a very powerful experience of releasing held up emotions, although it was extreme and could definitely crush people of a lesser constitution)... a negative state of mind isn't about the enjoyment of life, and if allowed the negative will continue spiraling down until it eats all of life. The positive state of mind enriches life and promotes it and its enjoyment, and it continues spiraling upward towards true peace, acceptance of the moment, and fufillment.  :eyemouth:
Peace.  :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2446181 - 03/18/04 06:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Because of the way we were raised, because of the relationships between us and our parents, we will seek out relationships with the opposite sex based on the issues that went unresolved with our parents.

So true, the first 7 years of my life, I never really "knew" my mother even "existed", nor did I have any other real mother figure during those years either.

And to this day, I still am attracted to older women and vice versa. Three of my past gfs have been 33-35. Older women give me a certain comfort that I usually can't find in young girls my age or whatever..

Good post!


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineMindgames
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2446261 - 03/18/04 08:00 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

No, I don't agree with we will have better marraiges becuase what if the female came to us only for the stuff she couldent get from her parents therefor making it the same relationship regardless if we got counceling or not.


--------------------
I'll see you on the darkside of the moon.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2447506 - 03/18/04 04:17 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Yes Frog, I think I have enough of a detatched view of my life to be able to sort out the things that have affected me on my own. There are still thins that effect me, but like your friend I am willing to leave those until I am ready to deal with them :wink:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2447868 - 03/18/04 05:40 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I don't believe in counseling at all.  I went to 7  of those guys and they didn't do anything.  I was abused as a kid and they couldn't even see it.  oh yeah sure there were markings on my face, but I bold faced lied to them everytime about it saying the did things to myself. Just a little about it, I was going to conceling because I had "self destructive behavior" according to them, when it was my stepmom that made me think that everyday could be my last who was the destructer. Why did I lie?  because my dad ;loved her, I was 6 years old and I didn't want to see him sad because my real mom cheated on him. 

now with this just being a tiny portion (as I am SURE EVERYONE here has went through horrible things in their life) how can you expect a child who doesn't really see everything yet, to talk with a complete stranger?? 

Sure that could be just for kids, but how about adults.  Well it has been my experience that many adults are really still like kids, just bigger people with bigger toys.  then again, what is a sign of adulthood?  I think maturity would rank high in that category.  Well in order to be mature, I think you have to have sound mind as well.  I think people let themselves get their feelings out of control.

Look, I had a nightmarish beginning, my friend has had it way worse than me, neither of us has yet to "nutt up".  You don't need counseling, nd really things are only going to help if you let it.  kind of like a state of mind, you know?  :grin:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2448003 - 03/18/04 06:00 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Why wouldn't you get counseling




most of the therapusts I have met in my life were completely unqualified to give therapy for the simple reason that they were total basketcases themselves.

the last therapist I had was delusional and shit. He ate too much acid in the 60's and he had all these weird paranoid delusions and obssessions/compulsions. Well, eventually, he killed himself. his partner said it wasnt my fault, but I remain unconvinced. Sure as hell didnt help my depression any.

but anyway, I dont think anyone is really qualified to guide another person. i think people are only qualified to guide themselves. And this is coming from a psych major! Even with all my psych classes and 120+ credit hours I certainly dont feel qualified to even offer people advice on what they should do.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2448609 - 03/18/04 08:49 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Monkeys don't need counseling.

But I guess that's because they don't need cars and money and complicated structures to live in..

-=- Matt/Strumpling -=-
what a non-post this was


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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OfflineFrog
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Strumpling]
    #2449890 - 03/19/04 01:36 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Alan Stone:  Child traumas? I don't believe I have any, and I've searched my soul often enough. Indoctrination and desperate measures set out to change who I am, now those I know of.

I disagree on the counselling issue, though. Why would talking to a counselor be better than talking to a friend? Methinks you'd have to talk to a counselor for at least two years until they know how your mind works, because you'll probably mention only what bothers you at the moment when speaking to one.


Good for you on not having childhood trauma to deal with.  But that?s why I said it?s all relative.  Pain is pain, whether it was because daddy was always at work, or because mommy was constantly knocking the shit out of you.  It?s all relative.  I have not met too many people who didn?t have some kind of issue emanating from their childhood, but if you don?t, good for you!

MadHamish:  Whoah! Does this imply that we'll have to get a licence for every aspect of our lives? (like going to a public toilet, or how to listen to music?)

Indeed, counceling could be better done, as the venerable (;)) Alan Stone commented, by friends and other connaiceurs. They at least are not listening because they need to earn their money with it  and off course with the interest and caring of a friend...


I agree with you and Stone that if you have a friend who knows you well enough, who can be objective, and who has wisdom, that is better than a counselor. 

I also agree that we don?t want licenses for every aspect of our lives.  I was sort of making a point that we have to get a license just to drive a car, but something that is more important, child-rearing, doesn?t require anything but insemination.

fireworks:  I then look at the situation that it stemmed from and put it into perspective, finding out what provoked that feeling. I then "resolve" it.  I work through it and show myself what was really going on and I come to terms with what happened and what was felt, and I let it go and it is resolved, and I always end up with a smile on my face, an appreciation of life and the moment, and an eagerness for tomorrow.

Not many people are able to do this.  I read once that MOST people will not get counseling, or if they do, will not stick with it. 

Most people are in denial that they even have issues.  But if you have ever gotten angry in a relationship, then you have issues, because what is provoking that anger, if it isn?t something deep-seeded, usually from childhood? 

Skorpivo:  So true, the first 7 years of my life, I never really "knew" my mother even "existed", nor did I have any other real mother figure during those years either.

And to this day, I still am attracted to older women and vice versa. Three of my past gfs have been 33-35. Older women give me a certain comfort that I usually can't find in young girls my age or whatever..


Brave of you to post that, so here goes me:

I didn?t realize it until this year, but I was seeking a ?father figure?, due to the fact that my father was a total shit as a parent.  Consequently, I was attracted to guys who gave the outward appearance of strength, but inside, they were as messed up as me.  But at least now I know why I?m attracted to the strong, domineering type. 

mindgames:  becuase what if the female came to us only for the stuff she couldent get from her parents therefor making it the same relationship regardless if we got counceling or not.

We all have our underlying reasons for choosing the person that we choose.  It?s funny how that works.  A guy may need to be in control, a woman may need love.  Both, because of what happened in their childhoods.  The guy may have grown up in an alcoholic family.  The girl may have been abused.  A perfect match, but the relationship will be filled with strife, most likely.

Trendal: Yes Frog, I think I have enough of a detatched view of my life to be able to sort out the things that have affected me on my own. There are still thins that effect me, but like your friend I am willing to leave those until I am ready to deal with them

You have my permission to do so, trendal.  :grin:

kaiowas:  I don't believe in counseling at all. I went to 7 of those guys and they didn't do anything.

I went through a handful myself until I found a good one.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: You're all Fucked up! [Re: Frog]
    #2449898 - 03/19/04 01:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

You have my permission to do so, trendal.




Thank you, kind lady :grin:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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