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Ok so this is my 2nd post; had previously had a bad experience with acid and good experience with truffles. Have since had several good level 1 / 2 trips on truffles and been microdosing shrooms, which has lifted my depression & calmed anxiety. I had one sinister one while camping where a tree took on the appearance of one of the Nazgul from lord of the rings and I could see my mates aura (he looked like obi wan kenobi when he comes back from dead to speak to luke skywalker lol), however i had been out the night before and think my mind was in the wrong place + being in the woods in the pitch darkness wasn't the best setting.
Anyway, i came across a post about Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds and did some research on LSA etc, noting tha it was much milder than LSD and this intrigued me so i decided to give them ago. I ordered a pack of them from a reputable website that i use (never had any bother with them) and read up on how many to take. A lot of people had taken several and even 10+ of the things, although i decided to only take 2 as it was first time and i have had some previous bad experiences + underlying anxiety issues so wanted to be sensible. My plan was to site about the house, listen to music and maybe walk the dog if any effects were felt whilst enjoying nature.
I took two of them my chewing for a while and swallowing. Around an hour in i started getting a bit of pain in my stomach, felt a bit sick and was also tired / light headed. Anxiety also kicked off in my brain. I went to the toilet and nearly heaved, but couldn't bring anything up so decided just to ride it out.
Next thing i could feel lots of white noise / tinnitus building in my ears and also pressue building in my head and forearms. I decided this wasnt right so i needed to do something to take my mind off it. I walked the dog and went to our favourite spot. However, before i approached the waterfall we usually go to i got a vision in my head of me dying at that spot. The closer i got to the spot the worse the visions and anxiety got so i turned back. I should also note that whilst being outside the white noise and pressure subsided, although things were starting to get trippy.
I went back inside and the white noise started again. It built and built until i could hardly take it. I could also feel pressure in my head building and my right forearm felt like it had gone rock solid (although I work out a bit and it probably was quite solid anyway so this was all in my head).
I decided to go back outside as couldn't handle staying inside and knew i was about to have a full blown panic attack. I knew the only cure was to face it full on and walk / run through it. I started walking and felt terrible, like i was going to die. I walked around a mile like this and thoughts / physical light headedness, white noise and head pressure kept getting worse. I got to a farm track and this felt like my last stand / fight to get through it. The farm track was only around 1/2 mile long, but it felt like an eternity to walk it. I felt liked i walked through death going down it, but somehow managed to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
It started raining when i was walking down the track and the rain hitting me felt weird, almost painful, but kind of nice. I think it was this that brought me round out of the bad head space i was in. I started having thoughts about the universe and had a eureka moment. I said 'what is the universe? am i the universe? No we are the universe!' then all of the bad physical side effects started to subside and i immediately felt high, elated and in wonder.
Everything looked a bit trippy, i could hear birdsong very clearly, trees looked amazing. I wasnt sure if it was the drug or just being overwhelmed that i had got over the panic attack at first, but i popped into see my mum and realised it was the drug as my pupils were massive when i looked at myself in the mirror. I left there sharpish as didn't want her twigging i wasn't right. I walked another mile and went home, my girlfriend was in and i had to try and hide that i wasnt quite right. I kept my eyes half shut and watched TV, whilst secretly tripping a little and feeling in awe / wonder. The effects lasted another few hours, then i went to bed and had the most amazing sleep, no dreams, just out for the count and feel refreshed today.
I don't think ill ever take these again due to the physical nausea and resultant anxiety it caused me during the coming up period and would warn others that these things are powerful and not to be abused / taken lightly. I took too, which is borderline micro-dose compared to what others have done and it still completely messed me up. I think it would be better extracting the LSA or just chewing and not swallowing the seeds to combat the nausea, but man the 4 hours after i 'broke through' were fun.
What a crazy sunday it was. The trip also taught me that i have been abusing alcohol of late and need to be more attentive to my girlfriend. I managed to deal with a lot of emotional problems whilst under the influence and had a lot of self realisation. I also need to learn to stop hating myself and respect my body & mind. I have recently started doing reiki and did my level one atunement, have also been doing tai chi for over a year, which has helped the anxiety. I think this in conjunction with the odd micro-does of shrooms + small recreational does now and again are the path i need to follow; not getting wasted on alcohol and taking various substances.
Tripping isn't always positive at the time, but i feel it always has some sort of positive outcome.
Anyway i hope that if anyone reads this and decides to try HWBR seeds / LSA they treat it with respect and dont abuse it as i wouldnt want anyone going through the mental turmoil that i did. The end trip is great, but the few hours leading up to it are absolute hell.
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