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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: enotake2]
    #2426086 - 03/13/04 01:13 AM (19 years, 10 months ago)

ADD is also known as Attention Defecit Disorder. Ritilin used to be the drug of choice for ADD. Now there are many options.

Attention Defecit Disorder is what it sounds like. It is when someone has trouble focusing on one thing for a "Normal" length of time.

My experience with ADD comes from school aged children. I imagine CSG is not a child... but I will start describing a child's behavior. ADD is a little different for young adults. I will address ADD in young adults later.

People with ADD often have trouble getting good grades in school, not because they are dumb but because, no matter how hard they try, they can't focus enough to study productively. Often times, in school, a person with ADD will need more time to finish a test. They simply can not focus on the test the whole time. They often need time to let their thoughts wander, and then return to the test.

To a common observer, a child with ADD is most often distracted by having fun. They will create mischief... just to see what will happen. Often, they cry wolf, for the same reason. This is common ADD behavior. When asked why they are misbehaving or not paying attention, they often reply "I don't know." or "I can't help it." or "I didn't do it."

Often, children with ADD are hyperactive, but this is not always the case.

A classic example of an American child with ADD is Bart Simpson. Yeah... he is a cartoon... but listen to me. He always tries to be good, but he usually ends up doing something that gets him in trouble. He doesn't work his ass off in school but he isn't dumb. His grades suffer... his teacher hates him. He is a class clown. He is very distracting. I could go on, but you get the picture.

ADD children often have a hard time in school. Teachers will often get fed up with an ADD student. They can be so distracting, the teacher can't focus on the rest of their class. If they are not under control, an ADD student will take ALL of a teacher's time. This is not fair to the others in the room. ADD students are often punnished for their behavior in school. Sometimes, like Bart Simpson, they are rewarded with laughter.

A person with ADD who is also depressed, tends to act out in negative ways. A person who is NOT depressed but has ADD tends to act out in more humorous and fun ways.

Many famous people have been diagnosed with ADD including several presidents. Bill Clinton comes to mind. As a person with ADD reaches adulthood, often they are able to focus as good if not better than a "Normal" person. This is because they do not take focus for granted and know exactly what it takes to focus on something important.

Now, young adults with ADD. Young adults with ADD fall into a couple categories... dependant on how people reacted to their childhood behavior. Either they have found something worth focusing on or they are in CSG's situation.

The amazing thing is people with ADD shine when they are in charge of something. Class President, Director of a play, lead singer/guitarist of a band... Army General. You see, people with ADD want to focus. They EED something important to focus on. Otherwise they will be distracted. If they are focused on something important, nothing will draw their focus away.

I have seen this happen countless times. It is uncanny.

The problem is, by young adulthood, many with ADD have been beaten down by school, their peers and disaproving teachers and parents. By young adulthood, many with ADD are just hoping to be considered mediocre. They have lost faith in themselves because everybody seems to have lost faith in them.

I hope this gives you a better understanding of ADD. I am sure CeeEssGee knows the symptoms better than me. He can correct any of my mistakes in this post.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2426112 - 03/13/04 01:29 AM (19 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CeeEssGee said:
Oh come on, you can't expect me to let you get away with that!  Do you still think I'm addicted to amphetamines?  Why?  How about your 'calming effect' theory?  Is that sufficiently quashed for you to admit defeat, or do you want me to go in to further detail?
pride).




CeeEssGee,

I am sorry I haven't been more clear about this point. I really didn't mean to be so vague about it. If what you said is true, I do not think you are a Dexedrine junky... yet, but I was worried when you first mentioned your weeks worth of pills and how you intended to use them.

If you have been taking the pills as suggested. I think you are fine... for now.

Of course, you just posted that you obtained these pills illegally. You are going to a doctor, but you are self perscribing. I thought you said your doctor gave them to you. It is entirely possible I misunderstood. Although I speciffically asked if you got them from a dealer or if you had an Rx... you said you didn't have an Rx yet but you would on the 22nd. I assumed this meant your doctor gave you some trial samples or something.

How the hell do I know weather you are addicted to them or not? I can't see you from my computer.

I did not make any acusations of you being an addict in our chat but I said on several occasions that you were showing classic addict behavior...

You say you aren't addicted to Dexedrine.

That will have to do.

There, feel better?

Good.

By your own admission, you have a very addictive personality. For that reason alone, Dexedrine is a bad drug for you. Eventually it could be a problem... if it isn't already. You have a friend who is making sure you don't abuse these pills. Does your friend posess the pills or do you? Is your friend with you all the time? Is this the friend who has a perscription himself?

As for the pills, you mentioned wanting them to stay up all week. Then you mentioned how you PLANNED on taking them all at once. I am glad you didn't. That was smart of you.

I am still gonna' stick to my "Calming" theory. If used properly by the right person, Dexadrine should calm (at least most of the day)... not keep you awake. You wanted to use them to stay awake all week. Depression is a side effect of chronic amphetamine abuse... so is lying... so are suicidal tendancies, paranoia and schitzophrenia. Self medicating an addictive personality is not wise. Especially if you are using an addictive substance.

If you are taking Dexadrine 3 hours before bed... you probably aren't following directions.

For many young adults who live with their parents, 3 hours before bedtime is a great time to get fucked up, cause the 'rents are asleep :tongue: .

You should not be self perscribing medication.

Let your doctor do their job. And keep us posted on how it goes.

P.S. Here is a test to see if you are addicted to Dexedrine. How would you feel if I asked you to take all the pills and flush them down the toilet? Feel that knot in your stomach telling you not to flush them? That is addiction.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



Edited by Rose (03/13/04 02:56 AM)


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Offlinepattern
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2427771 - 03/13/04 03:11 PM (19 years, 10 months ago)

Hey CSG, I think you need your own apartment or place to live. Find a stable job and live on your own, maybe its the stress of living at home thats getting to you.

You sound like you want adventure but aren't getting any. You gotta go find it.


--------------------
man = monkey + mushroom


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OfflineCeeEssGee
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Registered: 09/29/02
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Loc: Toronto, Ontario
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Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2428789 - 03/13/04 08:08 PM (19 years, 10 months ago)

First off, I don't lie. Too many stupid people try and do that to me (especially of the female persuasion..), and expect me to believe them, so I don't even attempt to make such a fool of myself.

Because I have ADD, dexedrine acts as an antidepressant for me. Am I depressed when I don't use them? Yes. I suppose you could say that after the first time I tried them then, it was a mental addiction. But, wait, wasn't I depressed all of the time *before* I took them? Yes. So what's changed? Nothing. When I take the pills, I'm happy. That's all.

Also, there's no knot in my stomach when you mention me throwing away my stash of dexedrine, because I don't have any more. I won't have any until the 22nd, when my psychiatrist will (probably) prescribe them for me. If one of my friends (who I've obtained them illegally through, before) happens to offer me anymore, I might take 1 or 2 before then.

I'm sorry if you've had so much trouble with addiction to amphetamines, but it's not going to happen. If I did meth, or any other form of street speed, maybe, but then again, it doesn't have the very specific effect of dextro-amphetamine.

And no, I haven't tried taking dexedrine before sleep, and I certainly do not take them to get "fucked up", so ESAD for even suggesting that. Any relatively intelligent person can feel the difference between the peak in dexedrine, and.. the rest. It's not a come-down at all, but it's.. different. It's even possible to fall asleep during the peak, but you wouldn't want to go to sleep, which would make it extremely difficult.

Now look, I do have a pseudo-addictive personality. When I find a fun drug, I overdo it. I do not, however, continue doing so. I have fun, realize it was too much fun, and stop, or slow down. It's that simple. With dexedrine, I don't need to, because I don't take it to get "fucked up", as I stated before, and there is no reason to take more than 1 before I get a prescription. Afterwards, I'll follow the doctor's advice, of course. There's no problem with double-dosing them multiple times per day in order to ride out the peak for a while, but I don't feel comfortable doing that until a doctor tells me it's okay.

If you want to stick with your calming theory, you can stick it up your ass, because it's outright fucking wrong. It calms the mind, but stimulates the body, so it doesn't matter. Just like if your mind is awake but your body is tired, you won't be able to sleep if your body is awake, but your mind is tired. Anyway, like I said, when you're in the peak of dexedrine, you wouldn't want to go to sleep (much like a sane person wouldn't want to stay awake when prescribed hypnotics).

Finally, I want to say this one more: this is not an addictive substance. Yes, the pure, raw form of the drug is, or if you take a whole shitload of them at a time, but the time-release pills make it very, very difficult to get addicted to them. Fuck, just look at the size of these pills, and they take 10 hours. They kick in in 6 minutes.

I don't mean to fight with you, but make sure you know what you're talking about before you spout this drivel. I won't even touch your description on ADD. It's wrong, for the most part, but that's something that I thought I used to know quite a bit about, but my psychiatrist has proven me wrong. (The actual truth is that no one really knows much about it..)

I know I said finally, but here's one last paragraph: you're right, staying awake from dexedrine for a week would be very, very bad, and it would probably get me addicted to them. In truth, in order to stay up for that long, I'd probably have to OD on them, and that alone would make me tweak out for about 3-4 days and feel like shit for another 3-4 more. Thank you for showing concern, but I won't do it. I'm feeling a bit better now that I've had time to think, and I even got the keys back a couple days ago.


--------------------
Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2430079 - 03/14/04 12:24 AM (19 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CeeEssGee said:

Finally, I want to say this one more: this is not an addictive substance. Yes, the pure, raw form of the drug is, or if you take a whole shitload of them at a time, but the time-release pills make it very, very difficult to get addicted to them. Fuck, just look at the size of these pills, and they take 10 hours. They kick in in 6 minutes.

I don't mean to fight with you, but make sure you know what you're talking about before you spout this drivel.



These are just the among the first 20 links I found by typing Dexedrine on Google. You may want to click the links... they contain much more information but I didn't want to paste it all in here. The addiction information is easy to find on all of these links. Be sure you know what you are talking about BEFORE you take it.

I am not accusing you of being addicted to Dexedrine, just correcting you. It is addictive. It has abuse potential.

I am very happy things are going better for you.

Now... on with the links.

http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/dextroamphetamine.htm

WARNING: AMPHETAMINES HAVE A HIGH POTENTIAL FOR ABUSE. ADMINISTRATION OF AMPHETAMINES FOR PROLONGED PERIODS OF TIME MAY LEAD TO DRUG DEPENDENCE AND MUST BE AVOIDED. PARTICULAR ATTENTION SHOULD BE PAID TO THE POSSIBILITY OF SUBJECTS OBTAINING AMPHETAMINES FOR NONTHERAPEUTIC USE OR DISTRIBUTION TO OTHERS AND THE DRUGS SHOULD BE PRESCRIBED OR DISPENSED SPARINGLY

http://www.mentalhealth.com/drug/p30-d04.html

Precautions

The possibility of tolerance and psychological dependence should be kept in mind, particularly with excessive use. Therefore, care should be used in the selection of candidates for amphetamine therapy and prescription size should be limited to that required to achieve the immediate therapeutic goal. In addition, patients should be cautioned against increasing the recommended dosage...

http://us.gsk.com/products/assets/us_dexedrine.pdf

http://www.healthsquare.com/newrx/DEX1129.HTM

Most important fact about this drug

Because it is a stimulant, this drug has high abuse potential. The stimulant effect may give way to a letdown period of depression and fatigue. Although the letdown can be relieved by taking another dose, this soon becomes a vicious circle.

If you habitually take Dexedrine in doses higher than recommended, or if you take it over a long period of time, you may eventually become dependent on the drug and suffer from withdrawal symptoms when it is unavailable

http://www.whatmeds.com/meds/dexedrine.html

Warnings and Precautions
Dexedrine and other stimulants have the potential to be abused.

Long term Dexedrine treatment in children may cause unwanted effects on behavior and growth.

http://www.psyweb.com/Drughtm/dexed.html

Warnings

The habit-forming potential is high. Psychological and physical dependence is possible. Addiction is rare in children but a problem with adults.

Do not drink alcohol while taking this drug.

Do not use if: You had negative reactions to this or any other amphetamine in the past. If you have a history of drug alcohol abuse. If you have a psychotic disorder of any type.

And my favorite...

http://www.drug-rehabs.org/faqs/FAQ-dexedrine.php

Dexedrine Addiction
Dexedrine addiction is a very serious and sometimes life threatening dilemma. Not only is it difficult for the addict, it is extremely hard on those around them who care about them. For the addict, admitting they have an addiction problem can be difficult. However painful this may be, it must be acknowledged as the first gradient to overcoming the problem. The next hurdle is being willing to seek & accept help from an addiction professional. It can be hard for an addict to confront the fact that they can not do it alone. Once this fact is accepted, it is time to seek the appropriate professional treatment. Drug rehab programs based on the social education modality are highly successful. This means that individuals who are recovering from Dexedrine addiction are not made wrong for their past indiscretions, but are taught how to avoid future ones. They are provided with knowledge on how to change their lives and how to live comfortably without Dexedrine. Receiving treatment for addiction should be done in a safe & stable environment that is conducive to addiction recovery. Research studies show that residential treatment programs of at least 3 months in duration have the best success rates. 3 months may seem like a long time, but one day in the life of an individual addicted to Dexedrine can feel like an eternity. Addiction is a self imposed hellish slavery. The chains can be broken people do it everyday. You can be free!


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



Edited by Rose (03/14/04 03:06 AM)


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Offlineenotake2
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Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2433721 - 03/15/04 02:10 AM (19 years, 10 months ago)

From what CeeEssGee says he is not really displaying any signs of addiction. Just because you take an addictive drug doesn't mean you automatically lose control eg. alc ohol, or recreational or prescribed use of any other drugs. Even people with so called 'addictive personalities' use drugs in a controlled way that are not their drug of choice.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: enotake2]
    #2434872 - 03/15/04 12:23 PM (19 years, 10 months ago)

Enotake2, I am afraid you are missing my point... of course, my posts are long. By the time you get to the end of one of my posts, you may have forgotten what I said in the beginning. Sorry about that. This subject has required many words from me... and just because CeeEssGee has disagreed with everything I have said, doesn't mean I am completely wrong.

I am not accusing CeeEssGee of addiction. I have said this in my last THREE posts. I'll keep typing it until someone notices.

I do not know if CeeEssGee is addicted to Dexedrine.

I don't.

I don't.

If he is being honest about how often he has used them, he shouldn't be addicted... yet.

Some of the things he has said about this drug are just plain wrong. ie: It IS addictive. CeeEssGee, time after time, has sworn it is not. He is wrong. Dexedrine is addictive. This is a fact. I have provided several links that can explain this in more detail. There are even Dexedrine withdrawl treatment programs.

CeeEssGee obviously does not understand the dangers of self perscribing an amphetamine. Perhaps this is because he was given some bad information when he was given a supply of pills. Time released amphetamines are still addictive.

People who have been addicted to other chemical substances should not use Dexedrine. This is a medical fact. Dexedrine has potential for abuse. People with self proclaimed "Addictive type," personalities should not be taking it. Period. Look at those warnings I posted in my last post if you do not believe me. Then click on the links.

CeeEssGee has a psychiatrist. This Dr. can perscribe him medication. HE SHOULD NOT SELF PERSCRIBE MEDICATION WHILE HE GOES TO A PSYCHIATRIST. If he does, this may misinform his doctor. The doctor expects him to be UNMEDICATED until she gives him a perscription. A psychiatrist must evaluate a person before they medicate them. During this evaluation, CeeEssGee should not be self medicating unless he has consulted his doctor first.

He should tell his Doctor he has been taking Dexedrine. It has to do with his mental health. You should ALWAYS tell your doctor what you are injesting, some drugs do not mix well, besides a Doctor must remain confidential. He won't get in trouble. If he does not tell his Doctor that he has been taking Dexedrine, he is doing himself, and his doctor, a disservice.

If CeeEssGee likes his doctor, and it sounds like he does, he should let her do her job.

I know, one dose of Dexedrine will not turn you into a "Reefer Madness" type zombie.

If CeeEssGee is being honest, he shouldn't be addicted. The thing is, he has changed his story about the Dexedrine at least three times. I won't even begin to explain how many times he has changed his other stories... like subconsciously forgetting he said he wanted to kill himself... COME ON!

I have no Idea which story is true. This is the problem encountered when someone is caught crying wolf. You don't know what to believe anymore.

CeeEssGee is taking the WRONG medication. Even if it seems to be working. There are MANY other medications he should try before Dexedrine. ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WAS NOT PERSCRIBED BY HIS PSYCHIATRIST. He was self medicating with an AMPHETAMINE. He may do it again. If he continues using dexedrine without supervision, he is playing with fire.

Enotake2, remember when you said I should be more positive while talking to CeeEssGee? Thank you, you were right.

Now I have some advice for you Enotake2. Do not support CeeEssGee's decision to self medicate. Weather he is addicted or not... it is a bad idea. CeeEssGee is going to a Doctor for his ADD. He should let his doctor do their job.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
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Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2439722 - 03/16/04 02:26 PM (19 years, 10 months ago)

1. I'm always honest with my doctors. My psychiatrist, and physician both know about every single drug I have tried in my life. This is the only reason my physician has not prescribed me anything.

2. I have never been addicted to any substance before except for cigarettes, and alcohol when I was younger. The latter wasn't so much an addiction, as something I did way too often, and didn't bother trying to stop. As soon as I realized I was doing it too often, I stopped. Cold turkey.

3. Fuck you. You keep suggesting that, even if I'm not addicted now, that I'm going to be in the future. Take your links, and shove them up your tight ass. I'm sorry if I hit a nerve, when I suggested that not everyone is as weak as you when it comes to addiction. Those links are WRONG. Yes, dexedrine can potentially be addictive through EXTREME abuse. Through normal use, it is near impossible, unless someone is so weak that they decide it would be a good idea to get "high" off of dexedrine. They are designed this way, specifically, so that people cannot abuse them as easily as other psychiatric drugs (xanax, and ritalin, for example). Read all of the articles and websites you want, but you have no fucking clue until you've a) talked with doctors b) taken it yourself and c) seen your friends abuse it.

I've had enough of your ignorant crusades, go play elsewhere.


--------------------
Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2439959 - 03/16/04 03:13 PM (19 years, 10 months ago)

I wanted to play elsewhere... you asked me to stay. Remember?

As for your post...

1. Good

2. OK... that isn't what you said earlier.

3. Read the forum rules. They will address your "Fuck you." You didn't hit a nerve... but it looks like I must have.

Good luck.

CeeEssGee,

Obviously you don't want me to deal with your problems through discussion. You have lied to me countless times in this thread (a careful reader could catch several of your lies by reading your changing story from post to post). You think I am accusing you of things you have not done. You constantly put words in my mouth.

Obviously I am not helping you with your problems... although I have put a finger on several of them.

I am sorry more people haven't responded to your thread. I wish Enotake and I weren't the only two folks dealing with you this last week. Other people's opinions would be helpful.

I am so sick of your lying, I can't help but take a stern tone when I reply to your posts.

If you want me to tell you I think you are fine... you will have to wait a while. I don't think you are yet. But, it seems you are taking steps in the right direction.

Start owning up to your past actions... you have lied to me and others countless times about your problems... IE: Lying about making Suicide threats... lying constantly about how many pills you had... lying about where you got them... lying about what you remember and forgot... lying about how addictive Dexedrine can be... need I go on? OK I will... you have been very cryptic... you have left out important details... and you haven't aknowledged any of the advice that has been given to you in this thread.

Honesty is better... You can solve problems with honesty... you can only cover problems up with lies.

Oh... and how about giving a shit about me. I have worked my ass off trying to help you. I don't know you. Don't get upset when I suggest something that has nothing to do with your particular problem... there are better ways to handle this. How would I know unless you told me? I can only look at your behavior and report it back to you. Read my posts. That is what I have done. I have shown you examples of your own behavior. I make no judgements.

You may hear me saying "You are a liar." or "You will become addicted to Dexedrine." I have not. I have shown you where you lie and I have said you are at risk of Dexedrine addiction. You said in an earlier post that you have an addictive type personality.

"Now look, I do have a pseudo-addictive personality."

Your words ^^^.

I used them to make an evaluation.

Of course I could be wrong... but your behavior and words have mislead me.

Why won't you look at my links? How are they wrong? Did you even read them?

Dude... you must think I am an angry man.

I am not... I am not upset in the least.

I am trying to help you... remember which forum this is.

Stop treating me like shit for trying to help and my tone WILL change.

If you don't want me posting, put me on ignore.

I will try to curb my future responses in this thread unless you speciffically mention my posts or ask me for a reply.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months
Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2442016 - 03/17/04 02:34 AM (19 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Start owning up to your past actions... you have lied to me and others countless times about your problems... IE: Lying about making Suicide threats... lying constantly about how many pills you had... lying about where you got them... lying about what you remember and forgot... lying about how addictive Dexedrine can be... need I go on? OK I will... you have been very cryptic... you have left out important details... and you haven't aknowledged any of the advice that has been given to you in this thread.





I didn't mean to make "suicide threats". That was my fault, I was a bit dramatic, and that's why I didn't know what you were talking about. I never lied about how many pills I had. I had access to many pills, but only took a small amount, in the end. I don't have anymore, because, although I still have *access* to them, I'm not going to bother, since my appointment is on Monday. I never lied about where I got them, you didn't properly read what I said (numerous times). I may have been somewhat cryptic (it's in my nature, I don't do it intentionally), but I never once said anything remotely close to what your delusions are leading you to believe. I'm not lying at all about how addictive dexedrine is, you just have to stop believing everything you read, just because it fits with your inane theories.

Quote:

"Now look, I do have a pseudo-addictive personality."




pseudo

adj : (often used in combination) not genuine but having the appearance of; "a pseudo esthete";


Actually there was another word I was thinking of at the time, but that works just as well. Not quite an addictive personality, but it appears to be. I don't think you're reading my posts at all, just making highlights, because I swear that I explained all of my past and present vices.. but because you're too lazy to read back for anything of actual substance, you'll just call me a liar. That's something I cannot abide. I don't care how much you want to help me, you will not call me a liar. Every person who knows me, knows damn well that I'm honest, and I refuse to let you make such arrogant statements which state the contrary.


--------------------
Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2442049 - 03/17/04 04:04 AM (19 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CeeEssGee said:
Quote:

Start owning up to your past actions... you have lied to me and others countless times about your problems... IE: Lying about making Suicide threats... lying constantly about how many pills you had... lying about where you got them... lying about what you remember and forgot... lying about how addictive Dexedrine can be... need I go on? OK I will... you have been very cryptic... you have left out important details... and you haven't aknowledged any of the advice that has been given to you in this thread.





I didn't mean to make "suicide threats".  That was my fault, I was a bit dramatic, and that's why I didn't know what you were talking about.  I never lied about how many pills I had.  I had access to many pills, but only took a small amount, in the end.  I don't have anymore, because, although I still have *access* to them, I'm not going to bother, since my appointment is on Monday.  I never lied about where I got them, you didn't properly read what I said (numerous times).  I may have been somewhat cryptic (it's in my nature, I don't do it intentionally), but I never once said anything remotely close to what your delusions are leading you to believe.  I'm not lying at all about how addictive dexedrine is, you just have to stop believing everything you read, just because it fits with your inane theories.

Quote:

"Now look, I do have a pseudo-addictive personality."




pseudo

adj : (often used in combination) not genuine but having the appearance of; "a pseudo esthete";


Actually there was another word I was thinking of at the time, but that works just as well.  Not quite an addictive personality, but it appears to be.  I don't think you're reading my posts at all, just making highlights, because I swear that I explained all of my past and present vices.. but because you're too lazy to read back for anything of actual substance, you'll just call me a liar.  That's something I cannot abide.  I don't care how much you want to help me, you  will not call me a liar.  Every person who knows me, knows damn well that I'm honest, and I refuse to let you make such arrogant statements which state the contrary.




That is more like it.

You are talking much less cryptically.

You have covered every single concern of mine and put it into context in a very concise post.

I think the word you were looking for was quasi.

You have proven me wrong where I was wrong... and set my mind at ease everywhere else. If you were talking about things this clearly to begin with, we wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place. I am serious... you were sounding suicidal... you sounded depressed... you were pissed... and you had enough Dexedrine to kill a horse... You also backtracked on some statements... or sounded like you did. OF COURSE I WAS CONCERNED! Of course I was going to be stern. Of course I was going to doubt your responses. Of course I was going to do what I could to help...

Do you see the difference in your last post and your first few? 

Most importantly, you sound passionate. You sound sincere and you sound like you know what you are talking about.

I believe you.

In this situation, I didn't know what to do exactly. The only thing I could think of was to try to focus your anger. Anger is not depression. Focus is not ADD. Do not think this was all a master plan...  but I was prodding you intentionally and I am relieved it hasn't backfired completely. All my assumptions were based on your behavior... or what I percieved your behavior to be from your posts. Please forgive my mistakes. I am no pro. I had good reason to believe your problems were much more serious than you posted. I am sorry for any embarrassment this may have caused you. 

Part of me always wanted to piss you off so much you would start talking less cryptically and with passion. It is a harsh way to help. I am sorry you were on the recieving end. I hope it can help you in the future.

I have a lot of experience with ADD... I know you aren't a loser... or you wouldn't have posted this thread.

For what it is worth, I like the non Dexedrine you better... but if Dexedrine is what your Doctor gives you... that is what she gives you.

Let me just say, you have no idea what it is like to be addicted to a serious drug. Opiates and Stimulants are TOUGH once you are hooked. I think they should be avoided as social drugs and as medicinal drugs... unless they are used a last resort. The cravings are nothing like cigarette or alcohol cravings. I don't want you to ever have to experience this.

You can cure your ADD and depression on your own... when you must.

Sorry for the misunderstandings... welcome back... have a good appointment with your doctor.

No hard feelings.  :crazy:


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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