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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
At the edge
    #2413345 - 03/10/04 02:23 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

So, my father has decided that I'm "out of control", and that I'm a danger to myself, and my family. He's taken away my car keys, and is talking about having me "hospitalized". Last night, and throughout the day, I laid in bed, but didn't sleep. I got out for a bit, but didn't eat at all, and certainly didn't do my normal daily exercises. I just grabbed the spare keys, and right now, I'm considering just driving up to my cottage. Why? I don't know, I'm not terribly logical now. The *only* think that is giving me any control, and sanity, is the fact that I have some freedom, and the ability to be with friends.

Well, that's gone. Now I am completely losing control, and I'm not really sure what that means, but I thought I had more willpower than this.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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InvisibleYarry
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2413425 - 03/10/04 02:54 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Dude be responsible. i know its hard as fuck but you need to realize that your parents are only doing it because they care. They love you or they would just let you spiral down.. Listen to what they are saying


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Grumpy Old Man.


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2413439 - 03/10/04 03:02 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Stay home, for now. Nothing good will come from leaving. You would only confirm your father's fears.


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Fiddlesticks.



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InvisibleSuffer
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2415477 - 03/10/04 04:16 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

If the car belongs to your father, DONT take it. He can call it in stolen (which it would be if he said you cant drive it) and then your in some serious shit. I would stay at home... find a happy medium that you 2 can agree on to keep things peacefull. If staying at home is not an option you like, then make sure that you are prepared NOT to come back. I moved out of my house when i was 16 and moved 2000 miles away. Dont just go nowhere, have a plan... make it happen.

Good luck dude, I know its rough when the rents come down on ya. It does get better tho, I know this for a fact.


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Offlinepeleg
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Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 535
Loc: Christ Light
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: At the edge [Re: Suffer]
    #2415995 - 03/10/04 06:15 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

dude just chill i know it's hard, but use this thime fer da positive, jus do some meditating and look with in, some times it's scary and it might not be what ya wanna see, but ya can face it with faith in da Light. Man i use to hate being grounded take a beaten any day thats why i stayed grounded all da time, but it aint noothing compared to a small jail cell.So just keep your head up and this to shall pass, peace


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"Well the first days are the hardest days." When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.....


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Offlinecastaway
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2416226 - 03/10/04 07:25 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Institutions can hopitalize you and charge your dad's social-security. They keep a couple of bona-fide loonies on hand to scare the kids. It's no fun, no freedom. As long as you can go thru the motions you are better off. Overcoming our tendency to do something drastic can be real tough, especialy when we feel pushed to the edge.


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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: At the edge [Re: peleg]
    #2416246 - 03/10/04 07:30 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Ugh, I'm sorry, I need to come to the realization that I am far too cryptic, and subtle. This has nothing to do with being rebellious, or upset that my father took my keys away. Actually, I'm more worried that he's right, I am out of control. I've been yelling, and throwing things, and swearing in front of my parents/siblings, and I can't stop it.

I wanted to go to my cottage, because I wanted to get away from them, because I'm worried that I AM a danger to them.. I'm not so worried about the danger to myself. I can tell that I'm a huge burden on them, and I'm tired of it, yet I can't do anything to change it.

I didn't end up going, because I calmed down a bit more, and decided that falling asleep to a movie would be far better. I'm feeling in control again, but I doubt it will last. The one thing that is keeping me sane at the moment, is the fact that I've finally got a regular appointment slot with a psychiatrist, and I don't need to go see another useless psychologist. Fucking researchers/scientists pretending to be doctors..


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2417181 - 03/11/04 12:42 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Good to know you are still there.

Let me say, I fear your Doctor may have put you on some unproductive medication. If you are going to a psychiatrist, and you are feeling like just posted, perhaps you are injesting something that is counter productive.

Phwew... that's out of the way.

You are sounding pretty down. You know there is hope... although it is nice to hear it from someone else. You can do something. I'm sure you know that too. I think meditation is wise. You seem shrouded in a negative energy and it seems hard to pull yourself out. Well, you can.

Keep in mind, I don't have much to go on... you are more cryptic in your posts... and on IRC... than you may think.

It seems like you are smart. It seems like you want to be happy. It seems like you want something to focus on. Something to feel passion towards. No, I'm not talking about a lover. Although you do seem to be lonely.

Here's some stuff to think about.

What do you want to be when you grow up? When you are old and serious. What do you want to do for the rest of your life that will bring you joy? What are you good at? What can you do to make sure you get to do it for a living? I don't care if you want to be a professional baseball player. What do you hope to do with your life?

Finding something you are passionate about gives you focus. Taking responsibility for your actions gives you strength. Making sure you can spend your life doing what you want to do will bring you joy. These qualities will help you fight the constant battle over negativity. This will draw the people you wish to be with towards you.

You know all this. And I know it is easier said than done.

One thing a day. That is what I do when I am sad. At least one thing that moves me towards where I wish to be.

And, as dumb as it may feel at first, a journal allows you to be honest with yourself. It is amazing. Write a few pages every day and you will quickly feel better.

I write myself when I am most depressed. It always helps me sort things out. I should write myself more often. My journals tend to fill themselves with my most depressing moments. Still, it is fun to look back at what I have written and remember how things once were.


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Fiddlesticks.



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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2420930 - 03/11/04 11:06 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

My psychiatrist hasn't prescribed anything to me, yet, and that's probably part of the problem. I've been having these problems *long* before I've tried dexedrine, in fact, long before I even tried any controlled substance.

I was talking about staying up for a week on dexedrine, because it seemed like a stupid thing to do. It was no more than that. I do not have an addiction. I do not use it regularly (until I get the doc's opinion on that), and I have never abused it. I've never taken more than 1 pill at a time, and never more than 1 pill per day. This week, I've been on it 3 days in a row, and on the 3rd day I'm feeling a lot better.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2422033 - 03/12/04 03:51 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you are goijng through an emotional time. Hopefully the psych will sort you out for a good drug soon.

Man, if it does come to it and you do go to hospital, they usually only keep you in for a short while. I used to work at a psych hosptial and the average stay was probably 1-2 weeks. Just - a lot of people seem to have an image of psych hospitals as they were in the 50s when people could stay for months or years.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2422562 - 03/12/04 06:13 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

*CeeEssGee: I was talking about staying up for a week on dexedrine, because it seemed like a stupid thing to do. It was no more than that.

______________________________________________________________________

OK... let's talk about our little chat we had on Sunday, since you are referring to something you said to me on IRC (In a public room) ^^^ and not something you wrote here in this thread.

(Although these are not the exact quotes, this is very close to how our chat went down...)

First, you asked if the Shroomery Chat was up yet (It wasn't... at least not to my knowledge).

Then you said you wanted to go to your cottage and stay up all week on dextroamphetamine (DEXEDRINE) 'cause daddy took your T-Bird away.

This caught my attention. Staying up all week an amphetamines is not a good idea. They are addictive. I KNOW. You were sounding like you wanted to abuse it, so I spoke up and informed you of my opinion.

I asked where you got them and you said your therapist. I asked if you had an Rx, you said if all goes WELL, you'd get your Rx on the 22nd.

I told you that you sounded like you were hooked on amphetamines.

You were defensive in your response (human nature). But you did say you were only taking Dexedrine on a trial basis. You are new to them, so you don't think you can be addicted yet.

I asked you why you were perscribed Dexadrine.

You said you were being treated for Attention Defecit Disorder (ADD).

I told you that Dexedrine was supposed to CALM and FOCUS people with ADD. I reminded you of how you were "talking about staying up for a week on dexedrine". I said it didn't sound like the right drug for you. Staying up all week is hardly CALM.

This is when you typed a few scary things.

First, you said you had really planned on taking ALL of the pills at your cottage. All of 'em in one swallow. Either you would OD or go insane, you said. You also, mentioned how you didn't really want to go to the cottage to stay up all week. You wanted to go there so you could kill yourself. You said you didn't think you would die, but you were pretty sure you would go insane.

You said you have been depressed your whole life, and suicidal for a long time.

The other thing that scared me was how you defended the Dexedrine with your life, and you said your shrink was the best you ever had because this doctor could perscribe you stuff, unlike a stupid psychiatrist.

I reminded you that you were sounding like an amphetamine addict.

You swore you were not addicted.

I said I didn't want to see you pull a Ripper.

Around this time, you stopped replying on IRC, although you stayed signed in, and didn't say you were going away from the keyboard. I PM'd you and you did not respond. I PM'd one of the site's administrators and got no response from him either, but I informed him of our discussion. I chatted with the other folks online and told them to keep an eye out for you. They generally thought (hoped) you'd be fine but, there was tension in the air.

You said in this thread, you decided to watch a movie... instead of going to your cottage.

Considering the nature of our conversation, don't you think you could have told me you were gonna' watch a movie? Surely, you didn't forget. You are smarter than that. You knew better. You knew exactly what you were doing.

Perhaps this is the type of behavior that makes you fear you are a "Danger" to your family.

Here's a link to a sight about Dexadrine http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/dextroamphetamine.htm . Notice the first thing it says... in ALL CAPS.

WARNING: AMPHETAMINES HAVE A HIGH POTENTIAL FOR ABUSE. ADMINISTRATION OF AMPHETAMINES FOR PROLONGED PERIODS OF TIME MAY LEAD TO DRUG DEPENDENCE AND MUST BE AVOIDED. PARTICULAR ATTENTION SHOULD BE PAID TO THE POSSIBILITY OF SUBJECTS OBTAINING AMPHETAMINES FOR NONTHERAPEUTIC USE OR DISTRIBUTION TO OTHERS AND THE DRUGS SHOULD BE PRESCRIBED OR  DISPENSED SPARINGLY

I could also, post a link to Ripper's old domain. It was named after another addictive perscription drug (Ripper's favorite). Now somebody else owns the domain and uses it to make fun of how Ripper (Brandon Vedas) died.

Surely you know what it means to talk about killing yourself while on an OMS (Online Mushroom Community) chatroom. Surely you know how that would make people feel. Surely you know what they might think if you stop responding... but don't log off...

Dramatic...

Surely, you know better.

I'm sure glad you feel better, cause you sounded very dire on Sunday evening. Many people were concerned about you. Be sure you do not abuse that privelidge by crying wolf any more!

How old are you?

enotake2 is right, a hospital isn't that bad ( and they can give you drugs :rolleyes:)... please consider a hospital before you consider suicide or suicide chat EVER again. Suicidal thoughts are one thing. Entertaining those thoughts is quite another.

CSG, I know you may be defensive when you read this, but I have your best interests in mind. You posted in this forum for a reason. Please think about what I have said before you reply. It is better to talk about the entire problem than it is to be cryptic.

Oh, and I feel like, Dexedrine is the WRONG drug for you. Please see if there is something else you could try...Also, if you have been perscribed the wrong meds, perhaps your doc isn't as great as you think. Please, check your options.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2422736 - 03/12/04 07:40 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I understand your being scared and concerned for the guy posting that stuff in a chat room but I don't reckon you needed to spell it out for everyone else to read to get your point across. If he is depressed and esp if he has had suicidal thoughts he deserves compassion at the moment not berating, even though I know you mean well. When your mind is in such a cycle of negative thinkning, stuff is not likely to be interpreted neutrally. Unfortunately the negative mindset that goes with depression is self-perpetuating both biologically (underactivity or overactivity in different parts of the brain dealing with emotion regulation) and cognitively (negative memory/learning/judgement bias), and until some intervention, the cycle of negative thought is unlikely to abate .


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: At the edge [Re: enotake2]
    #2424131 - 03/12/04 03:20 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Yes, I understand your point enotake2, I have had major battles with depression myself. I hoped CSG would be more forthcoming with his information but I have waited several days for CSG to explain himself in here. He posted this thread around the same time we had our conversation on IRC. He has been VERY cryptic in here. So cryptic, nobody has a chance of helping him with his situation.

I do appreciate you coming to CSG's defense enotake2, because I had to spill some dirty details in my last post. In fact, I'm glad my post inspired you to come to his defense. Had I inspired you to start flaming CSG, my last post would have been out of line.

Nothing I wrote in my last post was told to me in private. It was all said in a public IRC chatroom. And... it isn't like I have made a habbit of posting IRC chat logs.

My chat with CSG left me in an akward situation.

Put yourself in my shoes. If CSG were to kill himself and I did nothing... I would be berated for my inaction. Perhaps liable.

I would rather be berated for spelling everything out. Our conversation was in a public room so, I imagine CSG wasn't too concerned about the conversation remaining private.

You must admit, Dexedrine, depression and suicide change his story a lot. I imagine that is why he posted in here... even though he said nothing about these things in his posts.

CSG asked for help. At this point in time, the only way I can help him is by posting what I know. I can't keep all of that shit we talked about private anymore. How helpful would that be? At this point, it would be dishonest and counterproductive.

Tough love is still love. I stayed up 'till 7 AM writing and editing that last post because I am concerned for CSG's emotional well being. After our chat... I was up all night on Sunday worrying about CSG... even though I had a job interview early monday morning.

CSG needs to understand that his behavior can effect other people.

He was discussing SUICIDAL thoughts the night he posted this thread. It is a major detail. A detail he left out. Believe me, I said what I did out of compassion.

CSG is not the only one who needs help in here, I do too. If you had that kind of information pertaining to this subject... I'm afraid you might force yourself to do the same thing... confess what you know. And, let me tell you, it feels better now that I have spelled it all out. Now other people might be able to help CSG. Suicide and Dexedrine are out of my league.

I hope you would do the same for me.

Sometimes tough love is necessicary. Ask Dr. Phil :smirk:

Sometimes honesty is the only positive course of action. What's said is said. I hope you understand.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2424948 - 03/12/04 07:12 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

OK.

Maybe you're right that amphetamines would not be the best thing right now for him if he is depressed. I guess his psychiatrist should know though. Hopefully cee essgee will tell the psych about his depresssive symptoms and suicidal thoughts.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2425126 - 03/12/04 08:45 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

When you want to try cutting apart what someone says, I would try someone else, who isn't as anal and unrelenting as me. I'm glad that you're trying to be helpful, but at this point, you're just getting fucking annoying, because you're not only misinerterpreting what I'm saying, you're making up outright lies.

Quote:

Then you said you wanted to go to your cottage and stay up all week on dextroamphetamine (DEXEDRINE) 'cause daddy took your T-Bird away.




Actually, that last part was your addition. I don't have a T-Bird, I have a maxima, and, actually, I still had the spare keys, but he didn't want me to drive it, because he thought I was out of control. I agreed, and that's what upset me. I don't give a shit if my parents want to punish me. Unlike some delinquints, I accept the consequences of my actions, and don't blame the nearest authority figure(s).

Quote:

This caught my attention. Staying up all week an amphetamines is not a good idea. They are addictive. I KNOW. You were sounding like you wanted to abuse it, so I spoke up and informed you of my opinion.




Yes, you are right, it isn't a good idea. I never said it was, did I? I never said I'd done it before, either, huh? I should also point out that I've had many other zany schemes thought up in IRC, most of which include naked ken dolls.

Quote:

I asked where you got them and you said your therapist. I asked if you had an Rx, you said if all goes WELL, you'd get your Rx on the 22nd.




Nope! Sorry pal, I've acquired these illegally. I also mentioned that I've done about a total of 10-15 of them within a month and a half. Does that sound like something a doctor would prescribe? I think not. I'll probably get a prescription for them on the 22nd, because I've been paying attention to my psychiatrist, and that's what she seems to be about to do. I may be wrong, but I doubt it. I'm good at predicting peoples' actions in real life - it's a gift.

Quote:

I told you that you sounded like you were hooked on amphetamines.

You were defensive in your response (human nature). But you did say you were only taking Dexedrine on a trial basis. You are new to them, so you don't think you can be addicted yet.




Actually, I don't believe you said I sound like I'm hooked, you outright claimed that I was. I then explained to you how dexedrine works, with a very sophisticated time-release method, so that the user gets a very little bit of dextro-amphetamine at a time, and the only way to get addicted would be to abuse them. My friend takes 2 when he wakes up, 2 before lunch, and 1 or 2 more around 3-4:00 (as per his doc's orders, so that he's always in the peak), and he has stopped cold turkey numerous times just to experiment. As stated above, I've never taken more than one per day.

Quote:

I told you that Dexedrine was supposed to CALM and FOCUS people with ADD. I reminded you of how you were "talking about staying up for a week on dexedrine". I said it didn't sound like the right drug for you. Staying up all week is hardly CALM.




I should remind you that this is an amphetamine. The calming effect on people with ADD (with hyperactive tendencies) is because normally, their mind is moving way too fast for their body to cope. With the amphetamines, the body catches up to the mind, and they're able to work. I know this is a very crude description of how it works, but it's very true. Regardless: it is still a stimulant. In fact, it's far more potent than ANY speed you can get on the street.. but it's just delivered in very small doses. So, while a person with ADHD may seem calm on amphetamines, if you give them a dexedrine and tell them to go to sleep half an hour later, they would have a very difficult time. (Unless they were used to taking it, which usually happens after a few weeks) Also, one more thing about this: many people are overwhelmed with the effects of dexedrine when they first take it, and do not attain the full positive effects until their body adjusts to it. A lot of people OD on it, their first couple weeks, and are not very calm.

Quote:

The other thing that scared me was how you defended the Dexedrine with your life, and you said your shrink was the best you ever had because this doctor could perscribe you stuff, unlike a stupid psychiatrist.




Maybe you should try reading above. I like my psychiatrist because every psychologist/therapist I have gone to in the past has been useless. Furthermore, psychiatrists are doctors, psychologists/therapists are cocksucking scientists . My psychiatrist is also very proud of the fact that she is not afraid to use drugs, because they bloody well work.

As for the rest, about suicide.. I really don't remember saying I would kill myself, though I tend to subconsciously talk about wishing I was dead. Well, I do, constantly, and I can't help that. I try to cover it up most of the time, but sometimes it just gets out and I don't realize it. I'm not trying to cry out for attention. For the most part, I just want to talk, even if no one answers, because it helps.

Now, wasn't that fun?


--------------------
Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
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Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2425150 - 03/12/04 08:57 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Just to sum things up:

Yes, I am depressed, I have been for a long time, it has just been further amplified, and thus, harder to deal with, within the past 12 months, because of a lot of bullshit.

Yes, I constantly have suicidal thoughts, and really do wish I was dead. Regardless, I doubt I will ever kill myself. There's far more constructive ways to die.

No, I am not fucking addicted to amphetamines. I have a hefty supply of them, and I do not delve in to them very often. I have a good friend keeping close watch over me, because I do tend to overdo drugs occasionally. Why would I lie about this? I've already told you I'm depressed, suicidal, etc etc, what purpose would I have for covering it up?

Yes, I'm an asshole.

Also, I'd just like to add that I *can* fall asleep about 3 hours after taking dexedrine. I find it easier to fall asleep if I've been on dexedrine, although, if I really want to, I still have the energy to stay up for as long as 8-10 hours after I take it.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

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Re: At the edge [Re: enotake2]
    #2425161 - 03/12/04 09:02 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Maybe you're right that amphetamines would not be the best thing right now for him if he is depressed.




The majority of people with ADD are also depressed, because of it. Taking amphetamines (I don't mean meth, I mean psychiatric medicine) actually acts as an anti-depressant, by destroying a major cause of depression. The term I like best is: "equilized". After taking dexedrine, I feel like I am finally at my equilibrium, like I have the power to be happy, angry, sad etc, and like I can be myself. I don't go about cleaning my house and scratching at my face, sometimes I sit down and read, or just go to sleep. Doctors can't even tell when I'm on it, because it makes me.. normal, the way I should be.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineRoseM
Devil's Advocate
Female User Gallery

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,289
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Last seen: 14 days, 6 hours
Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2425258 - 03/12/04 09:46 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I just want to clear one thing up, when I said, " 'cause daddy took your T-Bird away...," it was a refrence to a Beach Boys song. It was an attempt at humor. A joke at the begining of the monologue, if you will.

I never meant to imply you drive a T-Bird. I hope I didn't hurt your Maxima's feelings.

Amazing you forgot about saying you wanted to kill yourself, you were quite explicit. Especially considering you also remember everything that happened in our chat with striking detail. Just so you know. You did. And you were specific about how you wanted to do it. I wan't the only one to ask you what you were trying to say.

Honesty.

As for the rest... peh... you know how I feel. I have said enough.

Good luck.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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OfflineCeeEssGee
Canadian-American

Registered: 09/29/02
Posts: 1,894
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: At the edge [Re: Rose]
    #2425346 - 03/12/04 10:21 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Oh come on, you can't expect me to let you get away with that! Do you still think I'm addicted to amphetamines? Why? How about your 'calming effect' theory? Is that sufficiently quashed for you to admit defeat, or do you want me to go in to further detail?

I don't like people making up bullshit about me. There's enough negative aspects about me that are true that you can pick apart. For example, I did abuse E, especially over new years. I was never addicted to it, but I abused it by staying up 5 days on it (okay, with a couple power naps, but they were only half-sleep). When I was in grade 6, and 7, I was hopelessly addicted to cigarettes. I'm an asshole. I have a bad complexion. I was addicted to alcohol in grade 9.

You see, that's just off the top of my head, there's plenty of material.

Regardless: I am not now, or have I ever been addicted to psychiatric amphetamines, nor have I ever abused them.

I'm sorry, but you're wrong. I don't care what I sound like, I'm not addicted to dexedrine. If I was, I wouldn't be afraid to admit it (and to be quite honest, I would probably proclaim it with great pride).


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: At the edge [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2425721 - 03/13/04 01:00 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Right. I didn't know that about ADD and depression. I don't know much about ADD.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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