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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault?
#24037920 - 01/25/17 07:22 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Just last week I found out my mothers new husband, who I thought was the best thing to happen to her since her violent abusive boyfriend I was brought up with, was raping my 13 year old sister.
This has been going on for years, and its eating away at me, I already see a psych for my ptsd brought on from watching my mum get beaten till bloody and left screaming for help from the age of 6 - 14. And thought my family was finally over this bullshit, but im 24 now, and just trying to be supportive for my sister, and its just too real.
Some of the shit this monster has done to her, told her, and just done to fuck with her mental state is ridiculous, and to know it has been ongoing for years, and even while I was living with her and my mum a few years back just makes me feel so low, I was always there for the abusive boyfriend. Always able to take them to safety, away from the screaming the blood and the tears.
But to know this went on under my nose.... I just don't know what to think anymore, and am just clutching for straws.... if anyone has gone through something similar, or has family who has id love to hear how you coped yourself, and were able to help, because until I see my psych next fortnight. I just see alot of alcohol and pot abuse headin my way to clear this murky water running through my mind
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sh4d0ws
LSx


Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 12,086
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037921 - 01/25/17 07:25 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Unfortunately I can't really help much, as I don't have experience in the matter... but I'm really sorry to hear about what has gone on in your life. I hope that your mother's boyfriend is prosecuted and put in jail, but jail is way too short for rapists and pedophiles IMO, when the victim has to suffer for life.
I did however want to point out you might get better responses (or more responses) in the physical and mental well-being forum, here https://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/42
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Starstepper
AI Brobot



Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 2,935
Loc: The blip on the radar
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037931 - 01/25/17 07:31 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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All I can tell you is that if you can avoid alcohol it will save you from a lot of destructive behavior to yourself and those around you. Smoke weed as much as you want. It's the alcohol you must avoid.
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: sh4d0ws]
#24037932 - 01/25/17 07:32 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Very true didn't even think of that.
Yes he is in gaol as we spell it in aus jail over there, but wont have the matter heard in court till next year, the town my mothers living in has a population of 2000 so im helping her move its too small, and his family is here words already spread and almost everyone knows.
My sister is so embarrassed and ashamed, and has chlamydia because of him. But police said he can't even begin to think of going to the boneyard until court, so he is in with general population till court at least, I just feel so bad for her, he was a massive person, im 6'2 and still shorter than him, he was easy 130 kilos too which is around 280 pounds ish from rough math....
I dunno if a mod could move the thread if felt appropriate would be much appreciated,thanks for the response, ive already spilled my heart out to my close friends but I dunno, I think I wanted another media as to which I could vent through....
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: Starstepper]
#24037936 - 01/25/17 07:34 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Im not a big drinker, I usualy have two maybe three beers tops, just to start to feel it, then leave it there, but your probably very right in that respect, thanks.
Probably best to not drink, especially while im here helping everyone move out
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037938 - 01/25/17 07:36 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Wow horrible story, why don't you beat the shit out of that guy and who raped your sister?
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sh4d0ws
LSx


Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 12,086
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037942 - 01/25/17 07:37 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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This community has a lot of caring members, likely some that can provide you with healthy, helpful advice.
I'm going to say though that the alcohol advice is really good. I used alcohol to get through some traumatic events in my life and it's probably the worst decision I've made. I still struggle with it despite my life improving vastly. Best to avoid it.
edit @ trees...he's in jail
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Starstepper
AI Brobot



Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 2,935
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Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037954 - 01/25/17 07:49 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Not being much of a drinker is great man you are already ahead of the game. Sticking to beer is a good rule to live by if you are going to drink. Just remember that you and the girls in you family didn't deserve to go through all that. That's not the way it's supposed to be to be a son, brother, wife, mother, daughter or sister. Going forward the bad stuff is over and you can use it as a measurement tool of how good the good stuff is.
I know it's cliche but I always liked this Nietzsche quote "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: sh4d0ws]
#24037958 - 01/25/17 07:53 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Yeah hes in jail, and the first guy (the violent one) is my sister real father, but h killed himself because she didnt want snything to do with him on fathers day, I guess the guilt caught upto him.
I dreamt of revenge for years, but knowing that he was his own demise is quite relieving. And honestly I doubt revenge would get me anywhere close to the closure I had knowing he hung himself.
Its been a rough run for my family, my mums nose is still bent outta whack from this dude, so everyday is a constant reminder of the shit she went through and put us through, growing older granted me bith empathy and sympathy for her. And a better understanding of how little control she had, and how hard it really was to "just leave"
This other guy her husband, make me look like a french fry, and not to big note myself but im not really small, yes a thin build but I can lift more than I weigh and am quite fit, bust hes an ex bikie in one of Australia's biggest gangs, yet treated pur family (so we thought so well). Apart from my sister.
Whats doing my head in the most is how well she's coping, and that she wont open hp to me, I've done all I can though, said im here if she ever needs to talk, bought her a new phone and credit so I know she czn if she needs too. But I dont want to pry, I want her to feel comfortable.... but shes just such a little soldier, we are all falling apart around her, while shes still the little selfie queen and living like it never happened, if not better than when he was around....
But we all think its just relief showing fave, relief he's gone, relief its over, and relief for a new beginning
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037962 - 01/25/17 07:55 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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@starstepper for sure, thats a very truthful quote..
And yeah everyone ive opened upto about the past prior to this most recent incident is surprised of my happy go lucky demeanor. Sometimes I feel like its a front to avoid the what's wrong question, but most of the time it feels pretty genuine
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WyoMX

Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 2,102
Loc: PNW
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: Starstepper]
#24037965 - 01/25/17 07:57 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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My ex I was with was raped by her grandfather when she was 5-8 but she was to afraid to say anything until she was 15. By then there was no evidence and the police didn't/cant do a damn thing really. She went to therapist and all that but some days were bad and some were great. I really just tried to be there for her which sounds like you are for your sister. That's what she needs right now is a strong support group.
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: WyoMX]
#24037967 - 01/25/17 08:00 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Yeah the police took all her bedsheets, and clothes for forensic testing.
The most recent incident for her being less than a month ago unfortunately, we are all just doing what we can but just feel alot like a headless chicken so far
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MeyerLanski
Entheogenic Soulwarrior



Registered: 01/01/17
Posts: 84
Loc: United States of America
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037969 - 01/25/17 08:00 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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So sorry, that is a terrible thing to endure, alcoholism is terrible, having grown up amidst rampant in home violence and alcoholism myself, all I can say is be there for your sister in her time of need, and send commissary money to the 5 baddest ass raping psycho's in the prison and ask that they be really nice to the shitbag whom raped and abused your sister.
-------------------- Knowledge is Power
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: MeyerLanski]
#24037978 - 01/25/17 08:08 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Thats a thought, so far he's denying everyone, but being the viking looking rock spider he is, I dare say he isnt already balls deep in a cock meat sandwhich.
It sucks that this is going to cause my fsmily to move further away, albeit temporarily but for how long is uncertain. I feel as though pursuing negative actions wont help reinforce a positive outcome.....
My sister has the heart of an Angel and we're all contemplating putting all his belongings in his truck he blew all my mums money on and burning it, she told us not to burn his suitcase of his dead fathers belongings, because that would be " a dog act " to quote her, haha.
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PoopyGonzales
Illuminati Recruitment Officer



Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 602
Loc: Wollongong, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24037979 - 01/25/17 08:08 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Sorry to double post but just want to thank everyone whos responded it means alot
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24038029 - 01/25/17 08:37 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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I am so sorry for what you and your family have gone through.
I can't really relate, at least I hope I can't... And I wouldn't want to get into how I could vaguely relate.
I just hope your sister gets the professional help and support she needs, especially through trial, and that bastard spends the rest of his life in prison. He probably won't, but I hope he comes damn close to it.
As for moving the thread, that's your call. You will get more responses in the pub. But you may get more thoughtful responses in the wellbeing forum.
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Free time is the only time
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qman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24038044 - 01/25/17 08:44 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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OP, did your mother ever know this was happening to your sister? If so, what did she do?
How did this man get caught, who reported him?
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: qman]
#24038174 - 01/25/17 09:42 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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that's pretty fucked up if he threatened her that's even more of a reason to kick the shit out of him
I'm not a sadistic person but something like that might make me kill someone one day.
Your sister would probably get over it before he got over you kicking his shit in though.
I don't want you to fuck up your life and job prospects for one person though so I really can't advise anything
Edited by Konyap (01/25/17 09:43 AM)
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 32 minutes
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: PoopyGonzales]
#24038181 - 01/25/17 09:46 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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Quote:
PoopyGonzales said: Just last week I found out my mothers new husband, who I thought was the best thing to happen to her since her violent abusive boyfriend I was brought up with, was raping my 13 year old sister.
This has been going on for years, and its eating away at me, I already see a psych for my ptsd brought on from watching my mum get beaten till bloody and left screaming for help from the age of 6 - 14. And thought my family was finally over this bullshit, but im 24 now, and just trying to be supportive for my sister, and its just too real.
Some of the shit this monster has done to her, told her, and just done to fuck with her mental state is ridiculous, and to know it has been ongoing for years, and even while I was living with her and my mum a few years back just makes me feel so low, I was always there for the abusive boyfriend. Always able to take them to safety, away from the screaming the blood and the tears.
But to know this went on under my nose.... I just don't know what to think anymore, and am just clutching for straws.... if anyone has gone through something similar, or has family who has id love to hear how you coped yourself, and were able to help, because until I see my psych next fortnight. I just see alot of alcohol and pot abuse headin my way to clear this murky water running through my mind
Dude you have an unbelievable blackmail and ass kicking potential here. You can make this guy your bitch and bleeding every single dollar from his bank acount and then beat him to an inch of death and he can't do shit because otherwise he will be killed in prison.
I'm very sorry for what is hapening with your family, but this shit has got to stop and you have to make him pay for this shit.
This might sound like the most insensitive response (which it is), but you can exact revenge here and make sure your 13 yea old sister gets a free college education. You're dealing with a coward here. Own him.
Or you know. Do the right thing and go to the cops and get 0 retribution...
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Has anyone ever had family/relative that were victoms of sexual assault? [Re: Patlal]
#24038190 - 01/25/17 09:48 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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if someone did that to my family they'd have to be worried about being poisened for the next five years always assume they have alarm systems and camera's always assume you'll leave biological evidence behind etc.
Edited by Konyap (01/25/17 09:49 AM)
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