Yesterday I had my third trip on psilocibin, age 27, 140lbs. Previously I'd taken 1g (mild effects of "breathing" textures and musical enhancement) and 2.5g (pretty great open eye visuals and pondering the universe). This time I took what I suspect was closer to 6.5g, as my scale was wildly inaccurate.
There was no time to appreciate the geometry this time, as I promptly ripped a hole in space time and tossed myself through it with a cavalier disregard for what might lay on the other side.
I was not prepared.
Jesus Wept.
Woke up at 7am, tidied the house, weighed out 5g of extremely dry material and noted the scale was probably off by at least a gram and a half. Shrugged, tossed in the coffee grinder, downed it with an enormous cup of orange juice. Followed up with some water. Put on some Deep Forest, laid in bed, felt it hit me in about 15 minutes. Though that was a bit fast, odd. Chalked it up to to this being my breakfast.
Started off with rocketing past geometry the likes of which I'd never seen, but not long into that I began to notice what seemed to be dark shadowy figures observing from behind the fractals. They had no ominous presence, no radiated motive, they simply seemed to be shadows which were watching. Disconcerting, but I was still lucid enough to chalk that up to my mind and pushed forwards.
What followed was four hours of ceasing to understand the fundamental concepts of our established reality in the slightest fashion. Memory assures me I [[experienced pretty much every psychedelic phenomenon there is in that trip: visions, spirit contact, extreme paranoia and panic, extreme time slowing, time skipping, time reversal, time splitting (time split up into many pieces and was experienced as separate planes of reality), and other really bizarre things that can’t easily be explained]]. That section in brackets was shamelessly stolen from elsewhere, because it is concise and perfectly encapsulates what just went down.
I sailed through time and space, viewed hyper-real moments in human history, and shuffled through every physical and auditory sensation I had ever experienced - like pulling random cards out of a deck.
For a good while I was quite convinced that the entire universe is an utterly insane consciousness of complete chaos - which is experiencing everything which has ever happened, or ever will happen, to every living thing inside it, simultaneously. And that I had simply short-circuited myself back into that plane temporarily. That this is what awaits us when we die, a return to that eternity of madness. A terrifying, 5-D lovecraftian existence which the human brain is in no way built to comprehend. For hours after I came up, I could hear it whispering that "Time is an Egg".
It was about this time, roughly two hours in, that I became vaguely aware I was copiously draining liquid out of every orifice on my face. Nose, eyes, etc. And that I was sweating profusely and my skin felt like clay. Pretty sure I was having mild seizures and chewing on my bed sheets. This was all quite alarming, had never happened before.
The last two hours were spent almost certain that the product had been dusted with some nebulous research chemical, as time slowed down to functional non-existence and I experienced utter catatonia. Senses were shutting down everywhere and rebooting. I felt the circulation in my limbs die, cold creeping up my legs, and then start up again. When I had vision briefly the world was a hyper-distorted, monochrome place. Remembering to breath became my sole struggle as I was unable to even roll over. I was quite sure that I was going to die. That is not a place to be when you are experiencing extreme levels of time dilation.
When I finally reassembled my sanity, I found my palms pruned up as if I'd just come out of a lake, my bedsheets soaked through, and my joints felt like there was sand in them. My muscles were stiff and ached as if I hadn't used them in years. My eyes burned. Moving was a struggle. I drank nearly a liter of water as soon as I could walk. Called my mother and had her come over to chat for a few hours.
Holy Fuck.
I'm fine with the complete loss of reality: unraveling the threads of human perception and dissolving my consciousness past 8b is exactly what I was looking for with a dose that high. That was fundamentally life changing in ways I am still trying to comprehend.
What scares me is the extremely negative physical effects. Was that common, or were those things tainted?
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No negative physical effects manifested themselves after the day of, the following week was pretty abnormal however: For the first three nights I experienced the strangest dreams and sensations, waking up in the middle of the night worried that I had was experiencing a flashback to the effects. Definite struggle to parse reality for the first 48 hours.
Four days after the trip, I had a day of extremely high anxiety to the point of shaking hands and existential terror, made worse by consuming caffeine. Very unpleasant day.
By Friday things were smooth and normal again, aside from my sense of taste being noticeably off.
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