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Mental Slavery
Eternally Confused


Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 828
Last seen: 1 day, 9 hours
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I want to stop searching
#24031768 - 01/22/17 08:09 PM (7 years, 8 days ago) |
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Within is me is an unending want. A striving for something else. Nothing anywhere can satisfy it. All routes and paths lead to more routes and paths. i want a dead end. And i want it to stop.
If i try to stop the search, i am still searching, searching for a stop.
And now Im here, on the shroomery. Searching desperately for a way to stop searching. Search is all that i know. Every action i take to rid myself of this unending want, is just another expression of it. I cannot escape it. I am chasing my own tail and i am very aware of this. It completely encompasses my entire being. It is my entire being. Its all that i am.
I am the act of searching, and all that i want is to escape myself. But this want of escaping myself, only creates more self
sorry if this is hard to follow, i hope somebody will get the jist
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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You are well understood, only a sincere seeker can come to where you are now.
I am so happy you have come to this understanding. Millions of lives can pass by with one never reaching this far. It is a loop! You found the loop. 
The mind has taken you as far as it can. (quite a ride wasn't it?) Time has also come to an end for you. Time and mind are one.
So where have you been seeking? What are your sources? What was your seeking for? What is at the end of your seeking? How far is it?
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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GoldenSoulKing
Stranger
Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 15
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Tmethyl]
#24031974 - 01/22/17 09:12 PM (7 years, 8 days ago) |
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End the "seeking" and start "seeing" instead
Edited by GoldenSoulKing (01/22/17 09:13 PM)
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Quote:
GoldenSoulKing said: End the "seeking" and start "seeing" instead
Yes, recognize your position. You are not a person, the person is a modulation of yourself. You are prior to the person, much like a canvas is prior to a painting.
"I" am a "person". (1) I am (2) a person "I am" is the presence of consciousness. "A person" is the mask it wears in order to experience the world as such. The world is not many entities experiencing one world, the world is one entity experiencing many persons, it's name is "I". You are that.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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GoldenSoulKing
Stranger
Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 15
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Tmethyl]
#24032022 - 01/22/17 09:45 PM (7 years, 8 days ago) |
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Quote:
Tmethyl said:
Quote:
GoldenSoulKing said: End the "seeking" and start "seeing" instead
Yes, recognize your position. You are not a person, the person is a modulation of yourself. You are prior to the person, much like a canvas is prior to a painting.
"I" am a "person". (1) I am (2) a person "I am" is the presence of consciousness. "A person" is the mask it wears in order to experience the world as such. The world is not many entities experiencing one world, the world is one entity experiencing many persons, it's name is "I". You are that.
Oh my! Couldn't have worded it better myself. Still we seek because we secretly enjoy being led astray from ourselves. Although what I think you should try to do is to settle into what is happening in/around you as opposed to seeking something outside of whats already happening. It's a bit like breathing. You don't seek to breathe. It just happens. Most of meditation is based around this observation.
I would also add you should try phrasing the question differently. Some questions and acts are very circular and hard to get out of.
Also don't forget to relax and not be so hard on yourself.
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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What you are looking for, is where you are looking from.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Mental Slavery
Eternally Confused


Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 828
Last seen: 1 day, 9 hours
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Tmethyl]
#24032146 - 01/22/17 10:49 PM (7 years, 8 days ago) |
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What are these riddles?
i need to stop tripping
no more psychs
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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perhaps this is useful ...
"The Sound Of Silence -- by Ajahn Sumedho As you calm down, you can experience the sound of silence in the mind. You hear it as a kind of high frequency sound, a ringing sound that's always there. It is just normally never noticed. Now when you begin to hear that sound of silence, it's a sign of emptiness — of silence of the mind. It’s something you can always turn to. As you concentrate on it and turn to it, it can make you quite peaceful and blissful. Meditating on that, you have a way of letting the conditions of the mind cease without suppressing them with another condition. Otherwise you just end up putting one condition over another."
full free text here:
http://www.bahaistudies.net/asma/soundofsilence.pdf
this link downloads a 190 pg free book pdf by him
http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/intuitive-awareness.pdf
also by Ajahn Amaro|
http://www.lionsroar.com/the-sound-of-silence/
Edited by laughingdog (01/23/17 02:06 AM)
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Quote:
Mental Slavery said: Within is me is an unending want. A striving for something else. Nothing anywhere can satisfy it. All routes and paths lead to more routes and paths. i want a dead end. And i want it to stop.
If i try to stop the search, i am still searching, searching for a stop.
And now Im here, on the shroomery. Searching desperately for a way to stop searching. Search is all that i know. Every action i take to rid myself of this unending want, is just another expression of it. I cannot escape it. I am chasing my own tail and i am very aware of this. It completely encompasses my entire being. It is my entire being. Its all that i am.
I am the act of searching, and all that i want is to escape myself. But this want of escaping myself, only creates more self
sorry if this is hard to follow, i hope somebody will get the jist
what you see/have made into a problem, I see as the joy of learning,and surprise, and understanding that learning and surprise is never ending.
By never-ending I do not mean that in a linear way. It is rather that learning is cyclic.
Life is mystery, is mysterious. There is ALWAYS a dynamic of knowing and unknown. You cannot ever know everything because that would be static and dead and absurd.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
Mental Slavery said: Within is me is an unending want. A striving for something else. Nothing anywhere can satisfy it. All routes and paths lead to more routes and paths. i want a dead end. And i want it to stop.
If i try to stop the search, i am still searching, searching for a stop.
And now Im here, on the shroomery. Searching desperately for a way to stop searching. Search is all that i know. Every action i take to rid myself of this unending want, is just another expression of it. I cannot escape it. I am chasing my own tail and i am very aware of this. It completely encompasses my entire being. It is my entire being. Its all that i am.
I am the act of searching, and all that i want is to escape myself. But this want of escaping myself, only creates more self
sorry if this is hard to follow, i hope somebody will get the jist
What is it you want? The reason you are going in circles, and chasing your own tail, is you have no clear criteria or objectives to your search.
Hey, it's you search, stop and rest, lay down in the snow for all I care. Life is tough, and if you want it to all end and soon, then there's always that option.
For a real seeker to discuss searching with a wanderer is counterproductive.
Goodbye.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Quote:
Mental Slavery said: What are these riddles?
i need to stop tripping
no more psychs
Best suggestion in the thread.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
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There are different things to want and you want what is most desirable. You want to escape. You want to be at peace. They are the same but one is more desperate and less willing to change focus.
The bad news is you can't get there from here. Lower your immediate expectations. At least then you will want things you can get, and perhaps learn something useful along the way.
Step 1, learn to be comfortable with yourself just the way you are. Step 2... it's all in my sig and similar to Maslow's heirarchy.
Basically this desire you have, there is no avenue for instant gratification of it. Instead you must learn patience to a fine degree, and hopefully have some fun in the process.
Quote:
Mental Slavery said: Within is me is an unending want. A striving for something else. Nothing anywhere can satisfy it. All routes and paths lead to more routes and paths. i want a dead end. And i want it to stop.
If i try to stop the search, i am still searching, searching for a stop.
And now Im here, on the shroomery. Searching desperately for a way to stop searching. Search is all that i know. Every action i take to rid myself of this unending want, is just another expression of it. I cannot escape it. I am chasing my own tail and i am very aware of this. It completely encompasses my entire being. It is my entire being. Its all that i am.
I am the act of searching, and all that i want is to escape myself. But this want of escaping myself, only creates more self
sorry if this is hard to follow, i hope somebody will get the jist
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Rahz] 2
#24032837 - 01/23/17 09:43 AM (7 years, 7 days ago) |
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“The cost of anticipating The next moment is that This moment is lost.” -Wu Hsin
Seeking is anticipation. Do nothing. Do nothing. And there you are.  You are only here now. How to seek now? It is all that ever is. More instant than instant, it already is.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Tmethyl]
#24032892 - 01/23/17 10:06 AM (7 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Tmethyl said: “The cost of anticipating The next moment is that This moment is lost.” -Wu Hsin
Seeking is anticipation. Do nothing. Do nothing. And there you are.  You are only here now. How to seek now? It is all that ever is. More instant than instant, it already is.
Anticipation.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Tmethyl] 1
#24032925 - 01/23/17 10:21 AM (7 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Tmethyl said: “The cost of anticipating The next moment is that This moment is lost.” -Wu Hsin
Seeking is anticipation. Do nothing. Do nothing. And there you are.  You are only here now. How to seek now? It is all that ever is. More instant than instant, it already is.
Everybody has to do something. Sometimes the anticipation is part of the fun, depending on what is being anticipated. Anticipating enlightenment is problematic. Anticipating anything that isn't realistic is problematic. But how does a person know whether a thing is realistic?
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Rahz]
#24032943 - 01/23/17 10:30 AM (7 years, 7 days ago) |
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A person isn't real by definition. A person is a mask, a character in a play. It's a legal term as well because once you agree to be that person all sorts of mayhem can ensue. In particular once you appear out of the blue in court, and agree to be that person, you are entirely screwed. Notice this was entirely voluntary, the court will never ask you for ID. Of course, they can hit you with failure to appear, testing once again whether you are you or are a person.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
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I appreciate semantics but don't see the relevance here.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Double yeah 1. Desire is suffering (Buddha) 2. Learning/searching is cyclic, but you need the third dimension here. Everytime you learn something (make a true conclusion), the circle of searching is 'lifted' a little bit (because it can set on optimized 'facts' where to look from/to), so the circle, in fact in 3-d spyce, is a spiral 3. and you are the one, setting the direction where the spiral spirals to
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mt cleverest
clevendafodil

Registered: 08/19/12
Posts: 2,348
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Rahz]
#24032995 - 01/23/17 11:02 AM (7 years, 7 days ago) |
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the mind will always be in seeking mode. just have to
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: I want to stop searching [Re: Rahz] 1
#24033110 - 01/23/17 12:19 PM (7 years, 7 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said: But how does a person know whether a thing is realistic?
Only one thing in your entire life has ever been real. What is the one thing that was the same when you were 5 years old and is the same now? It is the same in times of stress and the same in times of bliss. In fact it was the same before your so called birth and will be the same after your so called death.
Your birth is like a wave rising out of the ocean, it comes to a peak, then starts sinking back into the ocean and you call this death. But a wave is water, and the ocean is water. How does a wave die? Perhaps there never really was a wave, just ocean in the shape of one.
Your ocean right now is awareness. Your body is made of awareness, your thoughts are made of awareness, your pain your suffering and your joy are made of awareness. Awareness, consciousness, I, God, here and now, peace, happiness, are all the same thing; attempts to name the unnamed.
And you are already that, obscured by mind. Like a thumb blocking the sun.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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