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Anonymous #1
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Help me score a milf
#24024687 - 01/20/17 02:58 AM (7 years, 10 days ago) |
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It has always been a desire of mine to be with a mature woman but I have no experience and I find it a little intimidating to get the ball rolling. In general I am alright with talking/complimenting/asking open ended questions with a respectful demeanor and without being a creepo. My financial situation is going pretty good so can afford to take her to dinner and stuff
She's in her 40s and recently added me on facebook. From the looks of things she has 2 kids but no husband. She posts a lot of pictures of herself in really classy and sexy dresses, wearing pumps/heels ..etc and gives me the general impression that she's on the market
I am not looking for something serious, I'm still going through some issues, getting a business rolling and general improvement of my life and attitude. I am just looking for something fun and relax were two individuals can get together and just experience. I am in no position to raise her kids, mentally and financially and I do not want to get mixed up with that however I am interested in getting to know her personality and have a little fun
I'm terrible at breaking the ice and getting the ball rolling and my experience with older women is absolute 0. All the women I've been with were younger than me revolving around 21-24.
This should be easy seeing as it's all online but I do not make good first impressions. I've tried complimenting one of her recently uploaded profile pictures and said something simple and complimentary but got no response. I am assuming it's due to other and more aggressive male attention she receives
Help please?
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Maybe it's you,
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: sudly]
#24026658 - 01/20/17 08:00 PM (7 years, 10 days ago) |
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I'm pretty confident it's not and I don't need to justify myself to you
I just don't make a good first impression cause I was stripped away from socializing when I was growing up due to extreme amounts of bullying and family violence so my attitude at first can be a little rough
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
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Hey man good luck. Definitely be confident in yourself while talking with her. Realise that you're pretty fuckin awesome, business minded and goal setting, intelligent, self-analysing and aware, and...., Wait you didn't say your age..... Oh, and she's probably not looking for you to be around her kids anyway.... if you're very much younger.....
I for one suggest that you stop the internet typing stuff.... No more Facebook replies.... Leads to weird expectations imo... It can get too good in type, and then the face to face contact is way behind on what you know from type... Let your initial attraction and excitement grow WHILE FACE2 FACE. I suggest for you to message her and say you were interested or intrigued by WHATEVER, and that you think you'd like to talk more with her, but that you're not too big on Facebook (chicks don't want a dude who posts all the time on Facebook) and tell her you rather talk on phone. Get her on the phone, be yourself, make her smile or laugh, listen to her, try to give her a unique perspective on something if you can and get her excited to know you, then tell her you better get going, your awesomeness is needed preparing for your future, but, "would you like to go to dinner and get loose with me baby?" Thats a start.....
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Just be straight up and wing it. Don't overthink it or you'll come off as scripted. Just get to know her and ask if she wants to hang out sometime. You already know what you're looking for, so look for it. She's probably seen it all so don't beat around the bush etc (but dont jump the gun), just act like she's one of your dude friends that you interact with when you don't overthink how you're going to interact, you just do it.
I expect updates. Go get your MILF bro..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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ONE OZ SLUG
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Registered: 05/22/13
Posts: 17,839
Loc: TX
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How exactly does she know you? Have you had a real conversation with her?
The best way to make any sort of progress is to meet her in person. Don't try to rush this though since you've only just met her online. It's weird when a 20 year old is just randomly hitting up a 40 year old with children. People that are generation(s) apart aren't going to have a lot in common and many older women tend to look for something more serious.
I got kind of lucky. One day I learned my downstairs neighbor smoked, and we would smoke each other out. Gradually I got to know her and we hooked up a couple of times after that.
Keep in mind, that if you do establish a beneficial relationship of any kind with her, you're probably not going to be seeing her a lot anyway. She works at a job to support her home and her kids. Something to consider.
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tump
ban the undead



Registered: 03/17/16
Posts: 2,383
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: Amanita86]
#24027219 - 01/21/17 01:11 AM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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Put the old Regan trick on her. Ask her out for a ice cream date. Then right before she arrives take 6 benadryl. Fir part b later. So you all get your ice cream and talk it out, date last about a hour in which tine you meds kick in and your sick as hell. Play on her compassion to get her to take you home to rest. The rest is up to you. But asking for cuddles on coach never hurt. Its all about phycal contact. If the passions fly great if not so be it
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: tump]
#24027919 - 01/21/17 11:05 AM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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Get your keyboard fixed.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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T-Funkadelic
Hepatitis G


Registered: 05/14/13
Posts: 11,392
Loc: 2535 W Fairmont Ave MD 21223
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: Amanita86] 1
#24027965 - 01/21/17 11:16 AM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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Op, just walk up and grab her by the pussy and stick your tongue in her ear and whisper lets fuck.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Making America great again, one MILF at a time..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: Amanita86]
#24028227 - 01/21/17 01:26 PM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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T--funk is right , sometimes that's all it takes. Be sure and suit up in any case.... Ever seen the movie Teeth? Watch out man....
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: tump]
#24030512 - 01/22/17 01:07 PM (7 years, 8 days ago) |
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Quote:
tump said: Put the old Regan trick on her. Ask her out for a ice cream date. Then right before she arrives take 6 benadryl. Fir part b later. So you all get your ice cream and talk it out, date last about a hour in which tine you meds kick in and your sick as hell. Play on her compassion to get her to take you home to rest. The rest is up to you. But asking for cuddles on coach never hurt. Its all about phycal contact. If the passions fly great if not so be it
how does eating 6 benadryl get you laid?
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
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How does six benadryl make you sick, either?
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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tump
ban the undead



Registered: 03/17/16
Posts: 2,383
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Quote:
DoneKildatReason said: How does six benadryl make you sick, either?
Take it and find out. There is effects that raise your body temp, shift the water content. It also makes you look aick which is important to get the invite to her home. Women love warm bodys
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: tump]
#24030640 - 01/22/17 01:59 PM (7 years, 8 days ago) |
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I have man..... When we were younger we'd take 12 or 20 or however many..... Stupid kids..... But OK, I gotcha.... 6 makes ya look sick and feel warm..... But this is for a milf man.... She starts babying you and shit she's gonna start thinking of her kids.....
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Milfs are easy. They know a younger man isn't looking for a relationship, he just wants to fuck. Display your intentions clearly to her and take her home.
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Prem. Kissoff
Tourist with a typewriter

Registered: 11/09/16
Posts: 259
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This is how its done: You need to tell her shes sexy, more often than youd tell younger girls theyre super sensitive about their cellulite and shit, you need to be DIRECT and tell her that youre gonna fuck the shit out of her and that NOBODY is ever gonna find out afterwards, she needs to know there will be no drama and you dont think youre gonna be her boyfriend or fuck shit up in her life. You need to be cool, all good emotions. Done. Way easier cause they fucking know whats up theyre not stupid.
Edited by Prem. Kissoff (01/22/17 04:35 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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To reply to some of the responses, which I'm thankful for, No I have not yet had a face to face conversation. We just had similar interests, she looked interesting, I added her and she accepted and so far I've just been slowly edging my existence. I'd like to initiate conversation and see where that leads
Do I just straight up tell her she's sexy, like ''Hey sexy'' ? Sounds a little off-putting 
She's pretty attractive and a bit of a bimbo, just how I like them and I'm full of vigor. I'm not expecting a done deal, this isn't an escort service, getting her out for a coffee, some cake, talk and show her some cool out of the way places would be a good step in getting her warm up.
The towns are a little small so most of the community is the homey type. I don't think clearly displaying intentions would be seen as honesty but rather aggressive and coming on too strong
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Quote:
Anonymous said: To reply to some of the responses, which I'm thankful for, No I have not yet had a face to face conversation. We just had similar interests, she looked interesting, I added her and she accepted and so far I've just been slowly edging my existence. I'd like to initiate conversation and see where that leads
Do I just straight up tell her she's sexy, like ''Hey sexy'' ? Sounds a little off-putting 
She's pretty attractive and a bit of a bimbo, just how I like them and I'm full of vigor. I'm not expecting a done deal, this isn't an escort service, getting her out for a coffee, some cake, talk and show her some cool out of the way places would be a good step in getting her warm up.
The towns are a little small so most of the community is the homey type. I don't think clearly displaying intentions would be seen as honesty but rather aggressive and coming on too strong
Are you looking for a relationship or a fuck? If you want to take her out for coffee, cake, and show her some stuff then it shows you might be looking for something more than just sex. If she doesn't want a relationship but only to fuck then this will be a sort of red flag to her. But if she is looking for something more than just sex then and you aren't then you are leading her on and that's not cool.
So it's best to state your intentions clearly from the get go and not beat around the bush, that way everyone is on the same page. Assumeing you have already talked to her before and got the ball rolling, just message her something like "I want to have some fun without anything serious. Come over to my place Friday night at 7:00 (or whenever at whatever time) and we can drink this great bottle of wine I have. Then we can decide from there what's for dessert "
This clearly states you want to fuck without a label or relationship.
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
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Post a pic man, we can tell you by looking
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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Anonymous #1
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Being in a relationship with a woman of that status is not my intention. I just want to treat her nice like a human being and not look at it as a potential bag of meat you know?
And no I haven't got the ball rolling and that is this point of this thread. I need assistance in breaking the ice and then slip in between the cracks for some fun time by showing her my intentions without being so direct and aggressive about it that would potentially scare her off
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Being in a relationship with a woman of that status is not my intention. I just want to treat her nice like a human being and not look at it as a potential bag of meat you know?
And no I haven't got the ball rolling and that is this point of this thread. I need assistance in breaking the ice and then slip in between the cracks for some fun time by showing her my intentions without being so direct and aggressive about it that would potentially scare her off
You THINK beating around the bush is the right way to go, but it's gonna land you in the friend zone as in no sex. Women, especially older women, like direct and confident men. She probably already knows you're interested so pay her a compliment by asking for what you want and stating your intentions.
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Edited by FruitOfLife (01/25/17 06:06 PM)
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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I want to roll up with a milf. I know I'd catch feelings though. Seems like it would be kind of hard not to.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Anonymous #1
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I actually got a bit of an update
I still haven't pursuit the original milf I had in mind but yesterday I chatted up a 36yr old mom. Thing is I really suck at this and most of the time, in my opinion, I must have came off as an interviewer lol I got stuck asking questions as I didn't know how to divert the conversation.
This morning I thought I would try and talk to her again, ask her about free time and I guess go in from there?
Also why don't women ask questions back? I don't get it I was talking to another girl, around my age mid-20s and it was difficult to keep a conversation going. You ask something, they open up a little bit, don't ask anything back about you and I'm stuck there trying to constantly think of creative ways to keep the convo going.
This has happened a lot to me recently for the past couple of months. Every girl I try to talk to shows a haze of interested/uninterested at the same time, it's boggling my mind like crazy. Is it me?
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nuds



Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 578
Loc: Australia, NSW
Last seen: 6 months, 4 hours
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Do yourself a favor and give up on trying to be an internet smooth talker. The two don't go. There is no inflection in the voice, lingering eye contact, physical touch. Give it up, and go out.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: nuds] 1
#24048713 - 01/29/17 11:23 AM (7 years, 1 day ago) |
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If women don't ask questions back, they're either not interested in you or they are too self-centered to care about others. Either way, walk away.
And tinder works well for scoring MILFs.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: koraks]
#24049087 - 01/29/17 01:41 PM (7 years, 1 day ago) |
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Tinder doesn't work for me. I've had it for months, I barely match up with anyone, almost no milfs, and the ones I do match up with never respond back to my messages and the message is a simple ''Hi''
I don't get what I'm doing wrong or why there are so many prude people out there. If you're on tinder and I'm on tinder and we matched up there is no shame in it, I don't get why they act so high and mighty when they are chumps looking for a lay like everyone else.
Also smooth talking on the internet is the best shot I got. I don't have friends just introvert stoners whom I visit from time to time, don't club, don't go out, have no real social circle, don't belong to any group or have anything remotely fun to do on the weekends except lab work and uni assignments
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Anonymous #2
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What's your major/intended career path?
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Anonymous #1
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- Mushroom cultivator ( This is my main career path that I have set out for myself but I think I'm doing a bad job at it. Its been 3 years cultivating mushrooms in my walk in closet, haven't reached a consistent production, lacking certain equipment/space, lacking funding to kick start it, very small client list, still a long way to go. There is an EU young farmer's scheme where I can be given a subsidy grant of over 75,000 euros, I have buddies on the inside but I'm really scared to take that huge step, especially since I manage alone and would eventually be owning the government 75,000euros)
- Amateur mycologist ( This one is a little hard. There are no real courses for mushroom IDs that my country offers, very few mycologists exist in this country, there is no real society; that is we have one but it's run also by amateurs, is inactive and they don't offer lectures/talks/discussion/forays...etc I learn everything from books that I have to buy myself cause the libraries suck, from these forums and I try to keep in touch with other mycologists, there is a mushroom ID course online, not sure how legit it is, also trying to find something in Europe where I can go and study about fungi, I have however managed to get familiar with a couple of species and am able to be of use when it comes to ID)
- Graduating soon with a degree in Horticulture ( I am basing my degree on mycoremediation on the concentration of nitrogen since our country is doing a bad job at preventing leaching so I am cultivating a local king oyster, spawn that to substrate with different concentration of nitrogen and see the affects. I want to implement what Paul Stamets did by planting huge bags of mycelium near water ways...etc)
- Looking for a part time job while I'm still studying (it's been hard to find one that I can balance in my life due to lecture hours/assignments, thinking of going for a barista or something)
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Anonymous #1
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Oh and a part of my degree year I have to do a certain amount of hours of work in relation to my field of study. Obviously it's unpaid but I work with the government in their plant tissue culture labs where we do micropropogation of local species and stone fruit trees to be able to supply the country with virus free fruit bearing trees.
I act as a lab tech assistant and people really like me there for my vigor to learn/work and my knowledge on the subject in comparison to their other students whom did not show much interest.
I really want to get a career there as it's really interesting work, in my line of study and actually tries to help the country which is what I would like to do
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Anonymous #1
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''Hey there,
I am just gonna be straight up honest with you. I think you are very attractive, you seem like a down to earth woman and despite the age difference I felt like we connected from the little we talked. I was wondering if you were up for meeting up, lets say, [blahblah] ? It would make my day''
Would something like be considered straight up and honest with my intentions or is this kind of message beating around the bush?
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Anonymous #2
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OK now spin that career path as something that is going to make you wealthy/powerful/a world changer.
"Our country is in terrible shape and I need to fix that. I'm going to plant shrooms everywhere and save the world. And you live in the world babe so imma save you with some inncoulated poo. Come through to my cribbo you sexy thang imma show you a thing or two and stick my horticulture up your ass."
Women can sense when you're passionate about something, and your future ambitions can really turn them on.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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OP, suicide sounds like your best option. Banging girls is the easiest thing ever. If you can't figure it out, you're fucked (but not literally).
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Quote:
Anonymous said: ''Hey there,
I am just gonna be straight up honest with you. I think you are very attractive, you seem like a down to earth woman and despite the age difference I felt like we connected from the little we talked. I was wondering if you were up for meeting up, lets say, [blahblah] ? It would make my day''
Would something like be considered straight up and honest with my intentions or is this kind of message beating around the bush?
"I think you are very attractive, you seem like a down to earth woman. I enjoyed our conversation and I want to meet up. Let's do [time and place here], does that work for you?"
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Anonymous #2
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Or, just "what are you up to tonight? And go from there, emphasizing how you are just going to be chilling and having some wine
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: azur]
#24052376 - 01/30/17 05:35 PM (7 years, 4 hours ago) |
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I been down that road, don't joke about that man it's not cool. If you're serious then honestly go fuck yourself dude and I mean that in the nicest way possible
Girls may be easy over where you're at or your life style just coincides with their norm but over here being different isn't something that bodes in your favor so it can be challenging.
Also Anon#2 I do talk about my passion, my future plans, what I want to work with, I invite them to come off-roading, hiking and all that jazz where I am in my element but none of them seem to be responding very well. Women don't ask me anything about myself so most of the time I'm just sitting there being the interviewer cause none of tries to converse back
I honestly don't get it.
Also the message didn't work, she saw it but didn't reply. Ah well

I'm honestly just gonna give up on this, thanks for the help guys I really appreciate it
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Well, Facebook is gay. And trying to hook up with girls through Facebook is even gayer. Next time to see a hotty, smile at her. Then the next hotty you see, walk up to her and tell her she is stunning. Baby steps. Before you know it, you'll be asking us which girl you should fuck tonight. Confidence is key. Just don't confuse it with cockiness.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: azur]
#24052529 - 01/30/17 06:31 PM (7 years, 3 hours ago) |
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That is much better advice thank you very much Azur 
I know online and facebook is fucking gay but atm it's all I got. Also I already got a FWB but I'm slowly loosing attraction to her. I wanted to get milf off of my list before I commit to something again otherwise it's gonna wander in my mind for eternity. I am confident in myself and find myself to be a catch but man it's hard to try and blurt out words, I over think it too much and come off as staged
I tried smiling not long ago and kinda worked. There was this chick on her cigarette break and I was out getting parts for my car, was stuck in traffic and she was there, she smiled I smiled and then the traffic started moving again. It was simple enough I should do it often
what opening lines do you use?
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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If you want to know what opening lines I use, then it will be staged. And appear staged. I don't really have lines. You just have to be original. Ask a girl what her favorite type of cloud is. But you better know your cloud types if you do. Take advantage of what is given to you. I once walked into a pet store to Holler at a girl who worked there. I was 20 and shy. There was a double rainbow outside. So I walked in and shy fully told the girl and her female boss that there was a double rainbow outside. One for each of them. And that they should go look. Well, they just looked at me like I was crazy. So I walked out. Halfway to my car, the girl comes out and gives me her number. Bang bang. Don't go into it with the intentions of banging an old head. Just try to make them feel good. And they'll return the favor.
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T-Funkadelic
Hepatitis G


Registered: 05/14/13
Posts: 11,392
Loc: 2535 W Fairmont Ave MD 21223
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: azur]
#24052617 - 01/30/17 07:05 PM (7 years, 3 hours ago) |
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My moms is an original OG milf, and she doesn't need pick up lines, she just want's the peepee and good drugs. Op, pm me if you're interested. she actually needs a place to live atm.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Turn the a/c on bro, your mom's starting to melt.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Help me score a milf [Re: azur] 1
#24056097 - 01/31/17 11:34 PM (6 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm just gonna start complimenting every girl I see by telling her she's got a nice ass and to have a good day
it's a numbers game right?
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ONE OZ SLUG
-


Registered: 05/22/13
Posts: 17,839
Loc: TX
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Just ask if you could have a blow job, and be sure to say "please". Ladies love a gentleman.
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
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Eye contact, and the spark of attraction. Spontaneity, stemming from confidence.
..... Messaging, in any format, is rarely a more successful starting point than the above.
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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