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Anonymous #1

trouble sleeping and anxiety
    #24015349 - 01/16/17 05:26 PM (7 years, 14 days ago)

Hello!

Lately I've been having trouble sleeping, anxiety, a nightmare and what I guess was a panic attack. All of which I've never had problems with before in my life.

It has to do with mushrooms and laughing gas I'm pretty sure.
My first and only experience with mushrooms was 1.5 years ago and it was quite bad.

Let me take it from the beginning. Me and some friends were going to camp in the woods and one of them said that he was probably going to bring the dried mushrooms he had had for a few years.
He talked a little about it and gave me a few links that he though I should read about it to understand more in case I wanted to try them.
I read a little bit but didn't really care that much because I was sure I wouldn't try it.
I started drinking alcohol a few years later compared to my friends, I was around 20. And before the mushrooms I had tried laughing gas a few times, it felt strange but at the same time fun to do while drunk with the friends. Other than alcohol and a few n20 balloons I hadn't even smoked a cigarette.

When we were in the woods camping and we had had a few beers my friend took out the mushrooms and added them to water over the fire to make a tea.
When it was done it, of course, didn't take much to get me to try it too. I was drunk and since everybody else was going to, why shouldn't I right?

I drank a little and ate a couple of them and then we waited.
I don't know how long it took to feel anything but I'm guessing around 30 minutes.
Since I hadn't read much about the effects I didn't know what to expect.

Suddenly I realize that my vision had changed, and the first thing I though of was fish-eye lens on a camera. And my hearing felt enhanced. It also sort of felt like the sounds were going in behind my head, so in a way it felt like I was behind my own head if that makes sense..
I then said something like "what the fuck" out loud and everybody looked at me and laughed.
I started to feel a bit scared already and it had not been more than a few minutes...

The next hour or so everybody looked around and thought that the branches blowing in the wind looked really cool among other things. I couldn't see the fun in looking at some branches and continued to feel scared but kept calm.

As the night went on I felt more scared and paranoid, I looked at my phone a few times, and when it felt like a significant amount of time had passed I looked again but was shocked to see that only a couple of minutes had gone by. That scared me more and I wanted it to end, I was considering walking back to town and call my mother to come and get me. But I realized that I couldn't do that in the middle of the night.

I had those thoughts that I've read people talk about, that it would never end and I'm stuck in this.
The only thing I could really see differently was that things like bags on the ground and a jackets hanging from a branch looked like a person standing there in my peripheral view. it happened a few times.
When I drank some water I would feel this wet sensation on my legs and had to feel if my pants were wet. My Friend told me that it wasn't uncommon to feel that.

At one point I asked somebody something but didn't get a reply and immediately started thinking things like I was in fact lying on the ground somewhere and was out of my body, probably because I had that sort of 3rd person feeling since I first started to feel something.

The night went on and it did not feel good, my more experienced friend made me more calm when he answered my questions.
It was a bit annoying when I heard the others laughing and having fun further away from the tents and I felt this way. My friend had gone in the tent so I too got into my sleeping bag. He said that it would be hard sleeping, and it was. I don't know how long it took to fall asleep and it was also quite annoying that he seemed to get up all the time to adjust his pillow and things.

I woke up in the morning and and ate some food and felt normal again, other than a little hungover sort of feeling I guess.


As I said earlier this was 1.5 years ago and I felt fine after that except the occasional thought that I had had when tripping, that I could still be there in the woods being high. And I also sometimes felt and still feel that wet sensation on my legs. I can't remember feeling that prior to trying mushrooms, or at least not thinking about it.

About a year later when I had a balloon of laughing gas I felt sort of a deja vu feeling, probably felt it before but not as strong.
some weeks or months later I had another one and had an extreme sense of deja vu as I was coming out of it. That was also pretty scary.

again months later, or a few weeks ago I suddenly one night had trouble sleeping. Everytime I was close to falling asleep I kept getting these hypnic jerks or waking up from any little sound coming from the house.
I also felt like my mind drifted off as soon as I closed my eyes, like I started dreaming before I even fell asleep. I could just open my eyes to make it stop.
I didn't sleep more than a few hours for two nights. And I guess as I was lying there I started thinking about when I tried the mushrooms as well as the strong deja vu from the nitrous oxide.
I felt anxious and paranoid for a few days. One night when drinking with my friends I had what I assume was a panic attack, pretty much like when I was scared during the mushroom trip. I had to call my mother and just talk a little and that calmed me down.

I had a few strong deja vu feelings when listening to the radio or talking to someone and similar and I guess the thought of that combined with everything else makes it hard to sleep when I lie there and think about it.

I convinced myself that it's nothing and I actually feel like I'm sort of making these deja vu moments myself in a way. Like one morning I heard something on the radio on my way to work that felt really uncanny and I was sure that I had heard it before.
I had to get my phone to check if it was live or something prerecorded, it was live radio. Later I realized that I had just heard that specific thing he was talking about on another radio channel that I listen to more frequently a few weeks earlier.

Anyway I slept really good like I normally do for over a week and had no problems, but then suddenly a few days ago a little insignificant thing triggered it again and I have some trouble sleeping once again.
It was such a simple thing but it somehow made me feel anxious again. Basically me and a friend was going to watch a movie while eating, the movie we chose I knew that I had seen before.
And as we were watching it I felt pretty sure that the last time I saw it was with this same friend a few years ago. But when I asked him if he had seen it before, he said that he hadn't.
And for some reason that made me feel a little paranoid and anxious again.

About the nightmare I had, which I've only had a few in my life.
I'll just cut to the end of it as there is absolutely nothing interesting to say about the other things.
I was in a very tall building when suddenly we were all standing at a 45 degree angle, so I asked if anyone else noticed it and then looked out the window. The building was collapsing and I felt this sinking feeling like going down a roller coaster. Then I hit the ground and felt/saw myself dissolve and it just felt like a void. I was still holding my breath since getting the sinking feeling in my stomach. As I took a deep breath I opened my eyes at the same time and was relieved that I was in my bed.

Sorry for talking dreams, it's probably never interesting to hear someone elses dream but I just wanted to mention it. I'm assuming that a sort of dark ending to the dream like this could have to do with the anxiousness and or feeling a little depressed.

Also I'm sorry for how long this turned out. I hope someone have the time to read it through.
It feels good to write it down as I haven't really talked about the mushroom trip or how I'm feeling with anyone.

It feels like it will pass I think, but with the anxiousness and trouble sleeping that I've never had before I wanted to talk with someone about it.

Has anyone felt similar and perhaps have any advice for me?

Thank you in advance.


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OfflineLove_spirit
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Re: trouble sleeping and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #24015542 - 01/16/17 06:52 PM (7 years, 14 days ago)

After alot of drug use I've had nightmares near every night for years.
I've had all the deja vu's, the premonitions,  Extreme paranoia and anxiety, auditory hallucinations, seeing with my eyes shut, sleep paralysis, lucid in my dreams yet unable to wake up, waking up with my mind in a spin making all kinds of bizarre connections to everyone and everything,,,
Don't try to make any sense out of it. None of it's real. It will pass.
If it's not love and positivity it couldn't be worth a second thought.


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Anonymous #2

Re: trouble sleeping and anxiety [Re: Love_spirit]
    #24015620 - 01/16/17 07:24 PM (7 years, 14 days ago)

I have similar issues, insomnia and nightmares, and I can vouch to say that most substances, mainly OTC sleeping tablets and benzodiazepines can put me to sleep but increase my chance of having shitty nightmares. I've been trying to figure out why these nightmares pop up out of nowhere and I am beginning to think that things I keep in my subconscious perception can account for a majority of nightmares I have, I think having a plan on how to uproot these thoughts and issues to your conscious analysis can help to an extent.


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