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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: amilibertine]
#15278230 - 10/25/11 08:04 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
amilibertine said: However, I don't have a problem with polygamy, I just don't see how it can work. Seems like another male-dominated dogma so that men can fuck any many people as they want. Why not just be single and do that?

perfect
to me polygmous n single are the same if all parties involved know the truth
"another male-dominated dogma"
this i dont get....i shall brb after some googleducation
edit; back.....ok a male dominated belief?
i dont know man many chicks agree and even if its predominately male belief whats the big deal?
Edited by Apostle (10/25/11 08:05 PM)
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag


Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: pwnasaurus]
#15284455 - 10/27/11 02:08 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
aronf13 said: Ultimately the choice between monogomy and non-monogomy boils down to the same thing that everything boils down to - the choice between love and fear.

Who would choose fear over love? That doesn't make any sense. That's not even a logical dichotomy. And nothing boils down to that. This makes no sense.
he stole this from donnie darko
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
#15286383 - 10/27/11 02:14 PM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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i never seen that.
interesting quote.
i think i fear emotional investment yet long to be loved and that makes me come off as an inconsiderate douche to my partners. ex-partners. lol.
Love isnt an easy thing to figure out tho so i'll be damed if i feel guilty about my confusion/inability to decide "what i want"
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helix
Idealist Thinker Musician Lover



Registered: 09/13/10
Posts: 409
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
#15289824 - 10/28/11 07:28 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
HELLA_TIGHT said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
aronf13 said: Ultimately the choice between monogomy and non-monogomy boils down to the same thing that everything boils down to - the choice between love and fear.

Who would choose fear over love? That doesn't make any sense. That's not even a logical dichotomy. And nothing boils down to that. This makes no sense.
he stole this from donnie darko
no
I got it from bill hicks
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helix
Idealist Thinker Musician Lover



Registered: 09/13/10
Posts: 409
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: Apostle]
#15289834 - 10/28/11 07:35 AM (12 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hologram said:
Quote:
amilibertine said: However, I don't have a problem with polygamy, I just don't see how it can work. Seems like another male-dominated dogma so that men can fuck any many people as they want. Why not just be single and do that?

perfect
to me polygmous n single are the same if all parties involved know the truth
"another male-dominated dogma"
this i dont get....i shall brb after some googleducation
edit; back.....ok a male dominated belief?
i dont know man many chicks agree and even if its predominately male belief whats the big deal?
the idea that it's a male-dominated belief is a male-dominated idea, and tied up in cultural assumptions about what a man wants and what a woman wants. Why presume that men only benefit and women are just going along with it? That's tied up in presumptions about what a man wants and what a woman wants, that what makes a man a "pimp" makes a woman a "slut".
Fact is, there's an extremely very strong feminist cluster of individual females with arguments for polyamory involving the ownership of the female body to herself. Women stand to benefit just as much as men. Right now my girlfriend is seeing 2 people other than me and i'm not seeing anyone else yet. This makes for the most ineffective male-dominated belief ever 
Also, I think there is a distinction between when you say you're "in a relationship" with several people rather than saying you're single but having sex with several people. A relationship implies some sort of emotional committment at the very least, or something similar.
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
There are a lot of people in the poly world who are just in it to have sex with as many people as they want, and for them there's basically no difference but for them i'd also argue that it's not quite polyamorous tag, void of the comittment to honesty, respect, consideration of emotions that goes into having a relationship with someone. for them, they may as well be single, and let me be clear i'm not blaming them - just having ONE relationship is hard enough let alone more than one  But the challenge brings soooo many rewards
Edited by helix (10/28/11 07:54 AM)
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gluke bastid
Stinky Bum



Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 3,322
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: helix]
#17751761 - 02/05/13 07:34 PM (11 years, 19 days ago) |
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I think I'm about to get laid by someone who is not my wife.
Long story short: my wife and I have had an open relationship for some time. But we haven't really taken advantage of it. She is the only one who has. She had sex a couple of times with someone else. She had my full permission, and I never really had any problems of jealousy. We have a really strong bond.
Currently I'm back in the city we used to live in while my wife is in our new home. I bumped into a woman who knows I am in an open relationship on super bowl Sunday. She is recently single. Her body language was pretty unmistakable, seems like I am wanted. Since then she has texted me and we've made plans to get together on Friday. She is VERY attractive. Songs have been written about her.
Here's my hang-up: As stated she is recently single. This is from a marriage. She's got kids. There are a lot of "what ifs" in my mind. What if its more emotional than I am ready for? What if she develops an attachment to me?
Perhaps I'm worrying too much. She knows my situation...that I'm married and have a primary partner. Plus, she's older than me and pretty experienced. I think she knows this is really just about sex. It's just been such a long time that I've had a casual sexual encounter because I've been in my primary relationship.
What's gonna happen?
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Society in every form is a blessing, but government at its best is but a necessary evil - Thomas Paine
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shadowman-x
Useless hippy.



Registered: 02/15/11
Posts: 1,840
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: gluke bastid]
#17751809 - 02/05/13 07:44 PM (11 years, 19 days ago) |
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I approve of this. I'm in a poly relationship and it's a strange thing for sure, entirely built around trust, casualness and the natural flow of feelings. Jealousy, hatred and irrational fears are programs, conditions, in my opinion. Sexuality and love are natural.  Not to mention, bering poly doesn't mean you're juts fucking everyone, it means multiple EMOTIONAL and sexual partners. that your friends could be your lovers too..
-------------------- knock me down i'll just come back runnin' knock you down it won't be long now
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The5thElement
Smile Friends :)



Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 4,675
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: gluke bastid]
#17754730 - 02/06/13 09:26 AM (11 years, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
gluke bastid said: I think I'm about to get laid by someone who is not my wife.
Long story short: my wife and I have had an open relationship for some time. But we haven't really taken advantage of it. She is the only one who has. She had sex a couple of times with someone else. She had my full permission, and I never really had any problems of jealousy. We have a really strong bond.
Currently I'm back in the city we used to live in while my wife is in our new home. I bumped into a woman who knows I am in an open relationship on super bowl Sunday. She is recently single. Her body language was pretty unmistakable, seems like I am wanted. Since then she has texted me and we've made plans to get together on Friday. She is VERY attractive. Songs have been written about her.
Here's my hang-up: As stated she is recently single. This is from a marriage. She's got kids. There are a lot of "what ifs" in my mind. What if its more emotional than I am ready for? What if she develops an attachment to me?
Perhaps I'm worrying too much. She knows my situation...that I'm married and have a primary partner. Plus, she's older than me and pretty experienced. I think she knows this is really just about sex. It's just been such a long time that I've had a casual sexual encounter because I've been in my primary relationship.
What's gonna happen?
You are going to have a good time, that's what is going to happen my man!
Just relax guy, she knows your situation just go with it and have a good one. If you're really worried just tell her beforehand(as you are about to engage in full on sex) that this is indeed just that, sex.
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gluke bastid
Stinky Bum



Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 3,322
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: The5thElement]
#17792895 - 02/12/13 11:06 PM (11 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
The5thElement said:
Quote:
gluke bastid said: I think I'm about to get laid by someone who is not my wife.
Long story short: my wife and I have had an open relationship for some time. But we haven't really taken advantage of it. She is the only one who has. She had sex a couple of times with someone else. She had my full permission, and I never really had any problems of jealousy. We have a really strong bond.
Currently I'm back in the city we used to live in while my wife is in our new home. I bumped into a woman who knows I am in an open relationship on super bowl Sunday. She is recently single. Her body language was pretty unmistakable, seems like I am wanted. Since then she has texted me and we've made plans to get together on Friday. She is VERY attractive. Songs have been written about her.
Here's my hang-up: As stated she is recently single. This is from a marriage. She's got kids. There are a lot of "what ifs" in my mind. What if its more emotional than I am ready for? What if she develops an attachment to me?
Perhaps I'm worrying too much. She knows my situation...that I'm married and have a primary partner. Plus, she's older than me and pretty experienced. I think she knows this is really just about sex. It's just been such a long time that I've had a casual sexual encounter because I've been in my primary relationship.
What's gonna happen?
You are going to have a good time, that's what is going to happen my man!
Just relax guy, she knows your situation just go with it and have a good one. If you're really worried just tell her beforehand(as you are about to engage in full on sex) that this is indeed just that, sex.
Did it. Told her it was just sex. She said "no problem, I don't form emotional attachments."
So we start making out. And she kind of starts crying. And I'm like "are you ok?" And she has tears in her eyes. And she's like "I could fall for you." And I'm like "ok shit, sorry, but we have to stop." And I beat it out of there.
Goddamn. I don't need this drama. I'm sticking with the wife. She is gonna laugh when I tell her about this.
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Society in every form is a blessing, but government at its best is but a necessary evil - Thomas Paine
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Jamurajaib
Supreme sub


Registered: 12/12/16
Posts: 14
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: Apostle]
#23955772 - 12/25/16 05:31 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Looks interesting here. I am a polyamorist my self. Me and my primary decided to choose this lifestyle since it best fitted to our personality.
Deeply in love with my primary but also having another relationship with another amazing woman.
And for my partner she has some other lovers. I find that overcoming sexual jealousy is easier than emotional jealousy. Like if she is sleeping with someone else I can deal with the jealousy easier than if she has emotional connection too with the other lover. But we always talks it out and share our feeling and making sure that no one is left out. Sharing our feeling openly. Sharing about how much we value each other. Sometimes even if the head knows but a word of reassurance takes you to another level of comfort. Communication is the key.
But all in all it is a very interesting journey so far. So much conversation and communication so many love.
People say it sounded like a very hardwork. For me being monogamy and denying that I am attracted to other people and even in love with more that one people at the same time is more tiring. Denial and unsaid things are more tiring for me.
Anyway that is my story from me. Glad to find this threat
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sudly
Quasar Praiser


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,002
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: helix]
#23957060 - 12/25/16 06:52 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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What's the point of polyamory if you can have friends with benefits?
A desire for codependency is the only reason I see.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Jamurajaib
Supreme sub


Registered: 12/12/16
Posts: 14
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: sudly]
#23957633 - 12/26/16 03:14 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: What's the point of polyamory if you can have friends with benefits?
A desire for codependency is the only reason I see.
There is so many art to polyamory is if so many different people in the world. A guy who has more than one friends with benefits or a girl is living a polyamory lifestyle.
But there is also polyamorist who long for that deep romantic and love bond with more than one person.
Also there is people who like to keep one primary and just having a sexual encounter with other partners without emotional attachment.
Needless to say we always (ideally) let everyone who is in a relationship with us (friend with benefits, partner, primary partner) knows what they are getting into and not covering shit up from one another. That is where the cheating line is drawn.
So basically each should decide what works for themself and discuss it with every person that matters in their life. And Polyamory is just like a generic term for so many different form of relationship that include more than just two person.
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sudly
Quasar Praiser


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,002
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: Jamurajaib]
#23957660 - 12/26/16 03:58 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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It would be nice if people were more honest about what they wanted and were able to communicate well but sometimes it seems like trying to find the people you can genuinely trust is like looking for gems in a pool of shit.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Jamurajaib
Supreme sub


Registered: 12/12/16
Posts: 14
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: sudly]
#23957689 - 12/26/16 05:10 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: It would be nice if people were more honest about what they wanted and were able to communicate well but sometimes it seems like trying to find the people you can genuinely trust is like looking for gems in a pool of shit.
For me it is more convienience to talk things through and get out there instead of holding it down and assuming stuffs or hoping that things will turn out okay without talking.
Talking it out in the open makes you feel more free. Just try to communicate your need and wish as good as you can. If it doesn't sit well with who you are talking that is also his/her right. But you never whether or not you can communicate with them unless you start opening up.
So I guess what I am trying is. Yes people are normally not so into this open communicated thingy about desire and what you want that we polyamory need to do. But it all start with you. And we need to do it. Regardless what kind of relationship stile you choose. So yeah. Just go out there and be brave. Show your feelings
Edited by Jamurajaib (12/26/16 05:13 AM)
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ShroomySeth
Psychedelic Puppeh



Registered: 12/16/16
Posts: 41
Loc: Washington State, USA
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: Jamurajaib] 1
#23982236 - 01/04/17 06:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Just my 2 cents... I have been married to the man of my dreams for one year now as of last month. We've been together for 3 years and lived together for two of those.
Right up front we established that niether of us believes in monogamy, and that nothing was going to change that. Not cohabiting, not marriage, not age, nothing.
We have had sex with other partners more times than I can count, both together and separately. We are both the happiest we've ever been in our lives, and never suffer from the jealosy or resentment that plagues many similar relationships.
I expect that being homosexual may have something to do with it as we are not weighed down by many of the sexual/relationship stigmas and preconceived notions that a lot of straight couples are imbued with from birth. But what do I know?
I just know that this works for us. To the point that if we ever found the right man, we may even consider taking on a third person in our relationship.
The main thing is that when push comes to shove, we always ALWAYS have each others backs.
RULE #1 - OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION AT ALL TIMES!!!
RULE#2 - Refer to rule #1!
Edited by ShroomySeth (01/05/17 02:49 PM)
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Anonymous #2
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Re: The OFFICIAL polyamory support thread [Re: ShroomySeth]
#24014240 - 01/16/17 10:19 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Not polyamorie but me and my wife share girlfriends somtimes. had a live in maid as a girlfriend this one time
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