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Ringo625
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Registered: 09/21/14
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Can I ever return to psychedelics?
#24006099 - 01/13/17 02:02 AM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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So I used to have a ton of fun when I did psychedelics, LSD and Shrooms. They helped me a lot, made me realize some of my flaws and progressed me as a person. That was until I had a bad trip on shrooms. I've written about the trip on here before and everything that could go bad pretty much did. For a short summary of what happened, I did shrooms with someone who was very selfish and immature and heart and no matter what I did to try and calm him down wouldn't work and he was very aggressive toward me. Overall however I made it through fine, but it definitely tainted psychedelics for me.
After that I didn't touch any psychedelics for about 6 months because I ended up joining the military, going to Basic Training, etc. When I came back I did a ridiculous amount of LSD with my best friend. 675ug. It was yet again, an awful experience, I don't know why I did that much, I was so nervous I was vomitting after we took them. It was definitely too much for my friend too and he was acting very chaotic. That sort of triggered me to return to my bad shroom trip and it caused me to do things I would've never done sober, to think about doing things I would never do sober, I considered killing him, I considered killing myself. It's like I completely forgot we were tripping. Luckily I never harmed him or myself in anyway, however I certainly remember contemplating it and that's very scary to think I would've thought that while tripping.
Just recently I decided to do some LSD with my brother. I wanted to break the pattern so I did a dose I was comfortable with and had done 100ug more than that a dozen times before, so I was quite confident nothing bad would happen. With little preparation, my brother and I each took 300ug and went hiking around my house. We're up in Alaska and we just happened to be experiencing one of the worst storms we've had in 20 something years. Being waist deep out in the snow was a blast, I was having a ton of fun, goofing around, it was back to having a great LSD trip again. That's when my brother said he was cold and we headed back inside. We're both adults, but come and stay at my Moms for the holidays, we thought she had just left to go shopping, but her car was still there. My brother was acting paranoid, nothing crazy, but then suddenly the power went out.
My brother was trying to get us to stay quiet and just chill in the downstairs apartment and unfortunately this is just as we started to peak. I was immediately transported right back into those terrible trips, on what I thought was a very manageable dose. My brother went and got in bed and I was left alone in the blackness. It was like I couldn't function, I don't know why I didn't think to just go outside because being in a pitch black house is literally the worst thing you can do. I think I blacked out for awhile because I remember seeing demons, and being compeletely lost. I went to find my brother, but couldn't, I went upstairs, yelling for anyone, but no one was there. The power was still out and it was like a nightmare. I developed this belief that the world was actually ending, I was right back to my 675ug trip and completely lost touch with reality. I found my brother awhile later and I kept talking about suicide, I wanted it all to end so badly, I kept seeing blood on his face and his head was spinning around. I again thought about hurting myself or others, luckily, once again I never acted on it. I definitely think there's a part of me that would never do it. At one point my brother tried turning on my old television and it wasn't working and I don't know why, or really remember much about it, but I punched the TV and broke it.
In the end I felt terrible. I felt so much shame, so much embarrassment that I acted out so poorly. I eventually came down and I am fine now of course, but I actually thought everyone was going to die while I was tripping, on a dose I thought I could handle. I feel like I've really fucked up, that I've totally ruined psychedelics for myself and maybe even my brother, which is so unfortunate because psychedelics is what caused me to join the military, start working out and really get my life together. Even just writing about psychedelics or reading about it I get heavy anxiety, but I still haven't completely said I will never do them again. I definitely want to do them again, I want to bring back the good times, but I keep getting transported back into that first bad trip. Before that bad trip I had nothing but amazing experiences with psychedelics. I think I thought I could handle too much, I didn't respect LSD and Shrooms enough and just really ruined things.
A contributing factor I think is that I might overestimate/underestimate how much a tab is. Seeing as I'm getting it from different people, I go off how many ug they tell me each tab is, but they could easily be lying or just not know.
I apologize for the long post, but I felt that most of this information might help. Is there any chance I can return to them? One of my best buds wants to do LSD with me and I told him no, just because I'm worried about having another bad trip, but I really want to do them with him. My worst and best experiences in my life have been on psychedelics and I feel like I'm at such a crossroad. Should I try returning with a really small 1 tab dose or should I swear them off forever? Will I constantly be transported back to that trip or is there a way I can overcome this? Thank you in advance, any advice does mean alot.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24006101 - 01/13/17 02:06 AM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Have you ever tripped solo before?
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Niffla]
#24006104 - 01/13/17 02:09 AM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said: Have you ever tripped solo before?
Eh, sort of. For every one of those bad trips I had toward the peak/end I was alone, but I've never taken LSD with the intentions of being alone for the entire thing.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625] 1
#24006108 - 01/13/17 02:21 AM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Unless you're not comfortable tripping (for the duration) solo, I'd consider that if you want to see where you're at. Like a hit...maybe a hit & a half. To test the waters.
Tripping solo can be just as good and enlightening, and the possibility of a bad trip, in my experience anyway, is lessened because you can do what you wanna do and take your mind wherever you want it to go. Without any outside influence or interference.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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MinnesnowtaNice
FriendofHagrid


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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625] 1
#24006112 - 01/13/17 02:24 AM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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I only trip with people I'm comfortable with and never more than 3 or 4 people.
300ug is a strong dose man, I don't care what anyone says. If your having these problems certainly don't go over 100ug and try that. Set and setting is a huge part. Both those times sound kind of fucked up.
I don't want to sound like an ass, I've had freak outs on Psychedlics too but I've never thought about killing anyone or myself during a trip.
Like ever.
Personally I only know one person who had thoughts like that when he was tripping and he is not really doing well anymore, he Is definitely somewhat schizophrenic now.
I don't think it's normal to be thinking about suicide or killing people on a trip, even a bad trip. That sounds more like some deep psychological kind of messed up shit to me
-------------------- we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Quote:
MinnesnowtaNice said: I only trip with people I'm comfortable with and never more than 3 or 4 people.
300ug is a strong dose man, I don't care what anyone says. If your having these problems certainly don't go over 100ug and try that. Set and setting is a huge part.
Yup. Huge. In fact it's everything. A good, comfortable setting is so key. A sketchy/uncomfortable setting...it's just a bad trip waiting to happen.
Quote:
I don't want to sound like an ass, I've had freak outs on Psychedlics too but I've never thought about killing anyone or myself during a trip.
Like ever.
Personally I only know one person who had thoughts like that when he was tripping and he is not really doing well anymore, he Is definitely somewhat schizophrenic now.
I don't think it's normal to be thinking about suicide or killing people on a trip, even a bad trip. That sounds more like some deep psychological kind of messed up shit to me
agreed
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Ringo625
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Registered: 09/21/14
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Quote:
MinnesnowtaNice said: I only trip with people I'm comfortable with and never more than 3 or 4 people.
300ug is a strong dose man, I don't care what anyone says. If your having these problems certainly don't go over 100ug and try that. Set and setting is a huge part. Both those times sound kind of fucked up.
I don't want to sound like an ass, I've had freak outs on Psychedlics too but I've never thought about killing anyone or myself during a trip.
Like ever.
Personally I only know one person who had thoughts like that when he was tripping and he is not really doing well anymore, he Is definitely somewhat schizophrenic now.
I don't think it's normal to be thinking about suicide or killing people on a trip, even a bad trip. That sounds more like some deep psychological kind of messed up shit to me
That first bad trip I had the friend I was with got sort of violent with me. I never ever had thoughts like that before then. I also never have thoughts like that when I'm sober. It's just as if I'm being teleported back to that bad trip ever since I tried it. I'm not psychologically disturbed nor have I had any signs of a mental disorder. However, I definitely agree with you, it's a very scary thing and a big reason as to why I consider never touching it again.
I do however feel that I've had control over myself and those thoughts have never escalated into action, but I would be lying if I said that on those two trips since that bad shroom trip I hadn't felt those feelings. Is it possible to rehabilitate myself from this, to bring it back to when tripping was almost nothing but amazing times? Or possibly did I open pandora's box and will constantly be at risk of being brought back to that mental state of that first bad trip?
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MinnesnowtaNice
FriendofHagrid


Registered: 09/18/13
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24006141 - 01/13/17 03:04 AM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Well if your just always flashing back to that one trip and it's making you have violent and angry thoughts, then maybe? Try MDMA with it perhaps?
Personally when stuff like that has happend around me, it was with one of my friends, who on two seperate occasions thought that me and the people we were tripping with were trying to rape him, he did ya say that during his freak out, that's what he told people after. He literally told people the next day and for weeks after that we all wanted to rape him. He also thought the neighbor was a serial killer and wanted to kill him. It was very hard to watch and out of the 10-15 people I've tripped with have never even had shit close to that.
We have all had our hard times and hard breakthroughs, but usually we just are silent only have a few times have I even heard my friends say weird or myself.
I've done large doses, highest ever being 1200 and there was a good couple months were my usually dose was 500-800 in that range. Same with a few of my friends.
And none of us have ever had problems like that.
I told my friend who had the freak out the same thing I'll tell you, if your having weird shit like that happen on psychs, it's time to stop doing psychs. It's not normal to have that shit even on bad trips, It's usually some pretty deep psychological problems. Yours being caused by this one bad trip and causing it to flash back anytime something starts to go wrong during your trip, sounds pretty serious man and I wouldn't advise tripping honestly.
-------------------- we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.
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Tylershatto5
Psily Sybe


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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24007216 - 01/13/17 01:52 PM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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i prefer tripping alone in a total comfort zone like no responsibilities no reason to concern and change up the vibe
-------------------- I dont ask for opinions i ask for facts!
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Tylershatto5]
#24007941 - 01/13/17 06:12 PM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Am I stupid to even consider trying and tripping alone and rehabilitating myself from my pattern of bad trips? How do I know if I'm pyschologically disturbed, I'm never that way normally and I was never that way when I used to trip. I suppose I'm really confused and LSD/shrooms have helped me a lot in the past and saying I'll never do them again to myself seems strange and not something I want to commit to, however it sounds like you guys think I could be a legitimate threat to others and if that's the case, I wouldn't want to touch them again.
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Chakanooga
Always Lmao



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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625] 1
#24008016 - 01/13/17 06:48 PM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Ringo.
You need to find your inner self.
Try a lose dose, with only you, and a few items you feel nostalgia towards. Meditate and feel the soul of the present, past, and future. While you start to feel the come up, start thinking about how mushrooms have been for ages, how ancient Indians would take these, and feel the love and soul of the universe.
How do you feel mushrooms influenced the people that dwell to this day?
Is there a certain movie you feel that was produced under the influence of psychedelics?
You need to rebirth yourself.
In the end, when you're tripping, and you feel hopeless, just know that there are people that are waiting for you, after your trip. Whether its family, or just some people on the shroomery.
Much love.
-Chakanooga, the gamer psychonaut.
-------------------- Official: Facemelter HyperspaceTraveller NostalgicGamer
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Chakanooga]
#24008149 - 01/13/17 07:44 PM (7 years, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Chakanooga said: Ringo.
You need to find your inner self.
Try a lose dose, with only you, and a few items you feel nostalgia towards. Meditate and feel the soul of the present, past, and future. While you start to feel the come up, start thinking about how mushrooms have been for ages, how ancient Indians would take these, and feel the love and soul of the universe.
How do you feel mushrooms influenced the people that dwell to this day?
Is there a certain movie you feel that was produced under the influence of psychedelics?
You need to rebirth yourself.
In the end, when you're tripping, and you feel hopeless, just know that there are people that are waiting for you, after your trip. Whether its family, or just some people on the shroomery.
Much love.
-Chakanooga, the gamer psychonaut.
How much do you think I should do? I had that terrible trip on 3 tabs, I have 2 tabs left. You think I should really prepare and do both or just 1? Regarldess, thanks a ton for the advice, this really helps.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24008397 - 01/13/17 10:45 PM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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How potent are they? If they're at least of average strength, I think you should just go for one. You know, a dip into the shallow end. Sometimes a "light" trip can be the most enjoyable -- there's less risk of you freaking out and having a bad trip. Obviously a one hit trip is going to be more manageable than a 2 hit trip.
Right now, if you're going to trip at all, you need an experience that's going to be as gentle as possible considering your last couple of experiences.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Niffla]
#24008706 - 01/14/17 01:55 AM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said: How potent are they? If they're at least of average strength, I think you should just go for one. You know, a dip into the shallow end. Sometimes a "light" trip can be the most enjoyable -- there's less risk of you freaking out and having a bad trip. Obviously a one hit trip is going to be more manageable than a 2 hit trip.
Right now, if you're going to trip at all, you need an experience that's going to be as gentle as possible considering your last couple of experiences.
I was told by my dealer they're 110's, I honestly have no idea if thats true though. I know there are blotter kits to test if it's real LSD, but are there kits to test the potency? How do I know how much is in a tab other than going off a dealers possibly misiniformed word?
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eighthjuror

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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24008879 - 01/14/17 04:51 AM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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Taking psychedelics influenced you to join the military? Never thought I'd hear that!
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do it
Master of temporary solutions


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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24008899 - 01/14/17 05:15 AM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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Well psychedelics can show you all sorts of parts of you that you'd never have thought were there. That thing about hurting people or oneself are not good of course, but I think most people have the potential to show these kind of traits in the right circumstances.
I agree with people here suggesting that you go low and solo during the next times. I would suggest you read books by Stanislav Grof on the effects of LSD, he dealt with people having grave mental issues and gave them LSD therapy. I'm not saying you have mental problems and shouldn't trip anymore, I'm saying that you have had some stuff surface that you'd better process. Things like that won't go away by neglecting and denying it.
I for one have had suicidal thoughts on heavy mushroom trips and so but I don't think I'm completely messed up or unfit for anything. I just realize I have a bit of a different way of seeing myself and the world than a lot of my peers. It can be a very valuable learning experience to face the darker parts of ones mind, just remember not to think in too black and white terms, and don't convince yourself that "you're messed up for good".
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psilly the kid
Hedge wizard/ Cultist



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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: do it]
#24009140 - 01/14/17 08:31 AM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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Take the single and dip your toes in just a little
-------------------- CA weed @ all times unless specified currently this high pebbles suck its turtles all the way down
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digitalgraphiti
Stranger in a strange land
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you can always return. Do you need to is a good question though.
-------------------- Enlil said: No. I'm saying that having a TV means you're successful.
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crispy86
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Quote:
MinnesnowtaNice said: Well if your just always flashing back to that one trip and it's making you have violent and angry thoughts, then maybe? Try MDMA with it perhaps?
Personally when stuff like that has happend around me, it was with one of my friends, who on two seperate occasions thought that me and the people we were tripping with were trying to rape him, he did ya say that during his freak out, that's what he told people after. He literally told people the next day and for weeks after that we all wanted to rape him. He also thought the neighbor was a serial killer and wanted to kill him. It was very hard to watch and out of the 10-15 people I've tripped with have never even had shit close to that.
We have all had our hard times and hard breakthroughs, but usually we just are silent only have a few times have I even heard my friends say weird or myself.
I've done large doses, highest ever being 1200 and there was a good couple months were my usually dose was 500-800 in that range. Same with a few of my friends.
And none of us have ever had problems like that.
I told my friend who had the freak out the same thing I'll tell you, if your having weird shit like that happen on psychs, it's time to stop doing psychs. It's not normal to have that shit even on bad trips, It's usually some pretty deep psychological problems. Yours being caused by this one bad trip and causing it to flash back anytime something starts to go wrong during your trip, sounds pretty serious man and I wouldn't advise tripping honestly.
i second this. i have tripped over a hundred times in my life, and haven't touched it in 4 years due to an undetectable psychological/spiritual crisis. part of me thinks psychedelics are the way out of that crisis, but i can't get over the FEAR of a "bad trip." i don't know why i'm scared. i used to eat it so nonchalantly and handled it like a champ. now i'm petrified of it, even though it's my favorite chemical. never had a trip that was unusually nightmarish like the one OP described...i once thought i predicted my own time of death...but that's about as close to "psychotic thoughts" as i've gone on LSD.
i used to mostly trip solo and always preferred solo than with other people. less chances of a "bad trip" when i'm by myself because i don't have to worry about how everyone else is doing, and i have less distraction. i can focus on myself and connecting with everything spiritually
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impaired420
Everything Is Nothing



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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: crispy86]
#24009715 - 01/14/17 12:35 PM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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Life is riddled with unfavorable experiences, psychedelic or sober.
You're gonna have to get over those bad trips somehow and I agree with one post above mentioning taking just one tab, or one and a half. Anything under 200ug is pretty manageable. Have some light easy trips to get your mind off the idea of a bad trip otherwise you'll keep triggering those thoughts that are associated with dosing.
-------------------- "Our task must be to free ourselves... By widening our circle of compassion, To embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty." -Albert Einstein Offering salvia divinorum clones, leaf, and extracts for trades legal states.
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psilly the kid
Hedge wizard/ Cultist



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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: impaired420]
#24009941 - 01/14/17 02:38 PM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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Set and setting includes mental setting as well. If this is just am escape then what you are trying to escape from could be the trigger try microdosing for a few days that would improve your mood at least
-------------------- CA weed @ all times unless specified currently this high pebbles suck its turtles all the way down
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Ringo625
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All of this advice really means a lot. A lot of it is very insightful and I've read every comment here multiple times. I definitely want to take a babystep back in. I'm going to go ahead and buy a test kit and make sure what I really got was LSD and make sure anything I take in the future isn't fake.
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kyu
Psychonaughty

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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24010518 - 01/14/17 06:53 PM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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So, a couple of bad trips, what a big deal? Bad things happen on psychedelics sometimes, anyone who trips has to face it sooner or later.
And I have some advises for you:
1) Don't try to avoid bad stuff. This is what makes it repeat. Actually, maybe now you have to get a bad trip in a comfortable set&setting to let it resolve in a good way. I needed that after a very bad trip with a very bad sitter. I know it sounds wild, but think of it as 'closing gestalt'.
Anyway, you're not going to have great time on lsd if you're constantly afraid of things going wrong.
2) If you're not responsible enough to plan a trip that won't end up in a psycho-trauma, then maybe it's better to give up tripping. It's good as long as it does good to you (as long as you do good to yourself). By the way, why would you want to return to psychedelics? Is there a clear, conscious purpose?
3) You could try another substance. Just to cut off these expectations of getting bad experiences 'again'. I often get bad trips on shrooms but never on acid. Just because I've never had one and therefore don't expect any.
Good luck friend.
-------------------- You gave me a wonderful, wonderful world, And you gave me eyes to see it, And you gave me LSD to open them.
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: kyu]
#24011383 - 01/15/17 07:10 AM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
kyu said: So, a couple of bad trips, what a big deal? Bad things happen on psychedelics sometimes, anyone who trips has to face it sooner or later.
And I have some advises for you:
1) Don't try to avoid bad stuff. This is what makes it repeat. Actually, maybe now you have to get a bad trip in a comfortable set&setting to let it resolve in a good way. I needed that after a very bad trip with a very bad sitter. I know it sounds wild, but think of it as 'closing gestalt'.
Anyway, you're not going to have great time on lsd if you're constantly afraid of things going wrong.
2) If you're not responsible enough to plan a trip that won't end up in a psycho-trauma, then maybe it's better to give up tripping. It's good as long as it does good to you (as long as you do good to yourself). By the way, why would you want to return to psychedelics? Is there a clear, conscious purpose?
3) You could try another substance. Just to cut off these expectations of getting bad experiences 'again'. I often get bad trips on shrooms but never on acid. Just because I've never had one and therefore don't expect any.
Good luck friend.
1.) I suppose my issue is maybe trying to go to sleep or something? I don't really remember what triggers these horrible times, but it usually involves me passing out somewhere in the sense that I just lay down and it sort of takes me over and then having very wild dreams/hullicenations.
2.) I've planned out my trips a ton ahead of time all except for this last one with my Brother. It's a mistake I won't make again. I want to return to them because they reveal something about myself, I have a deeper look at who I really am, what I really want and I feel a deeper connection and understanding of reality and the earth. I'm cracking open a door to cosmic conciousness temporarily, which is shut as the trip wears off, I don't want it permanently open, but peaking inside is very enlightening to me.
3.) I've done both shrooms and acid. In my experiences shrooms is a lot harder to control. The very first bad trip I ever had was on shrooms and then the following two trips were both LSD and I think that first shroom trip sort of influenced them. I've done shrooms and had fun, but I think I like LSD more. I also am a little cautious about traveling too far away from things like LSD/Shrooms solely because of drug tests.
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Shroomyhead
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Niffla]
#24013155 - 01/15/17 08:57 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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I think MAPS would be interested in your case. Try and contact them.
-------------------- There's only one way to find out.
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Shroomyhead]
#24013186 - 01/15/17 09:12 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomyhead said: I think MAPS would be interested in your case. Try and contact them.
Just through a quick google search I've discovered they're a LSD research facility? Other then that are you suggesting I offer myself as a research subject? What exactly are they looking for in subjects?
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Shroomyhead
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24013243 - 01/15/17 09:33 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
Ringo625 said:
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Shroomyhead said: I think MAPS would be interested in your case. Try and contact them.
Just through a quick google search I've discovered they're a LSD research facility? Other then that are you suggesting I offer myself as a research subject? What exactly are they looking for in subjects?
They research many different psychedelics.
Your case is unique as in not many people have suicidal/violent thoughts while under the effects of a psychedelic. They might be interested in your situation. Plus, they have therapists trained in psychedelic-assisted therapy, so they could really help you get passed it if you were interested in outside help.
To answer your third question, I don't know what they'd be looking for in . But here is their current and completed list of psilocybin research. I didn't see any current studies that your case would apply to though.
http://www.maps.org/research/other-research
-------------------- There's only one way to find out.
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crispy86
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24013387 - 01/15/17 10:55 PM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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it's common for technology and TVs to "not work" during trips, especially LSD trips. the universe it seems does not want us to tune in to that reality while consciousness is altered; it wants us to tune into...reality, through tools such as LSD. terence mckenna said watching TV is like watching a bad trip, and its not your trip. sounds like you were taking some pretty hefty doses. in my opinion, these visions and feelings of killing are primal human characteristics that are surfaced from the subconscious to the conscious level. it can be quite frightening. glad you are okay. i struggle with the trepidation about returning to psychedelics as well, mainly due to the fear of fear, and a pain condition that i have. i am sure you will be able to return someday when you know you are ready
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Psychedelictripper
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: crispy86]
#24013441 - 01/15/17 11:28 PM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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I don't think anything psychological is going on. I just think you had a bad trip. I'm not trying to be a dick but I think every one here blew this out of proportion. People think crazy things on trips. I had a similar experience to what your descibing. I can only do one gram of mush and nothing more. I can do high doses of Salva divinorum but that's a different story
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endogenous
נפל מגיהינום


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A main pillar of Psychedelic Spirituality is NON-violence.
Your military direction is a big conflict with this.
There will always be problems and trials. But you need to develop and search for non-violent solutions.
"Swords shall be beaten into ploughshares - spears into pruning hooks. No nation draws the sword against another. No longer will people learn how to fight.
O household of Jacob, come. Let us live by the Light of the Lord" -- Isaiah, 2,4
-------------------- The Day of the Lord has come like a thief in the night. -- It is there but no one knows it.
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cheesytom1
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: endogenous]
#24013740 - 01/16/17 03:41 AM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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I'd recommend taking a break.
Those violent thoughts may be flashbacks to your LSD trip; it sounds to me that you're fearing a bad trip in which you have violent/suicidal thoughts, and every time something goes wrong, your mind edges a little in that direction of "oh shit, is it coming? If it does, I won't be able to control it." And from there it snowballs. Eventually, you're mind is settling into patterns it fears and expects - and with an underlining factor of that fear being that you're helpless to experience the violent/suicidal thoughts, you become exactly that.
No amount of preparation will definitely or even necessarily likely help you once you're tripping. It's a trust thing.
So either trip very light and safe, or not at all. The mind is a precious thing.
-------------------- A Resource-Based Economy; beyond politics, poverty and war. 40min Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KphWsnhZ4Ag My band, System Paralysis; punk/ska/metal, free music: https://systemparalysis.bandcamp.com/album/concrete-gore
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kyu
Psychonaughty

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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: Ringo625]
#24015025 - 01/16/17 03:15 PM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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Ringo625 said: 1.) I suppose my issue is maybe trying to go to sleep or something? I don't really remember what triggers these horrible times, but it usually involves me passing out somewhere in the sense that I just lay down and it sort of takes me over and then having very wild dreams/hullicenations.
Yes, you know what happens when I lie down and relax during a trip? I go deeper. Sometimes, at that depth I meet something unpleasant (and you know what I mean by 'unpleasant', don't you). I guess turning off self-control and psychological defenses is what happens when you try to go to sleep. So, maybe you got kind of close to this nightmare 'material', and it comes out every time you relax or get a provocation?
My first dozen of trips were very light and happy, but then I finally fell into the dark areas. And since then I'm having bad trips from time to time. Sometimes in series. But you know, I believe it to be a healthy thing. I mean, you stop running away from all these suppressed unpleasant things inside you. Don't you think a bad trip also shows a part of you, a part of what you feel, a part of truth? A part that strongly needs your love and compassion and acceptance. And not just to make it go away eventually, but to let it be. To let yourself feel what you actually feel, not what you'd like to feel.
I see it as an important part of any spiritual growth. And I know it's easy to say, but that's exactly what I'm trying to do in my journeys. To let myself enjoy the pleasant stuff in all it's power and perfection, but also let myself suffer or be afraid or be angry when it comes to that.
And I noticed that when I manage to face something bad or scary and truly accept it, it turns into something beautiful or funny. Every time. Without any further effort. Even though I rarely manage to do so. I've got those stupid paranoid tendencies that often spoil things in trips and everyday life. Someone could say I shouldn't trip at all, but I still get something from my trips and it's definitely worth it.
Sorry for a long post. I mean, don't fight the bad stuff, try to bring light into it instead.
-------------------- You gave me a wonderful, wonderful world, And you gave me eyes to see it, And you gave me LSD to open them.
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Ringo625
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Re: Can I ever return to psychedelics? [Re: kyu]
#24063437 - 02/03/17 06:54 PM (6 years, 11 months ago) |
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For any of those interested, I went ahead and solo tripped. I did about 180ug and had a pretty solid time. I watched the Yellow Submarine which is basically made to watch on LSD, I didn't get much done at all that day and time flew by pretty quickly, infact I sort of ran out of things to do, but I definitely did a LOT of pacing around and thinking. I took a long ass shower and when I got out, I started looking at my body in the mirror. I've lost a lot of weight since I joined the military and this is really the first time in my life I've been fit and honestly I got kind of narcissistic just staring at my self, I was looking at my body in the mirror for a solid hour. I never had any intentions of doing so, but once I realized how long I'd been there it was sort of scary to think I was really just feeding my ego for a ridiculous amount of time. I felt like Narcissus from that Greek mythological tail who died because he was staring at his reflection for so long, I felt so drawn to the mirror I had to literally force myself to leave.
During the come up I was filled with anxiety, like pretty badly, but watching the Yellow Submarine, my favorite childhood movie definitely helped ease the tension and I was peaking around the time that finished and the anxiety slowly went away, but even such an innocent childlike movie like Yellow Submarine was sort of freaking me out at times with the crazy characters and sea monsters. After getting out of the mirror I got really self concious about possibly being a very narcissistic person, I'm not sure if I am, but at the time I was convinced I was a total narcissist and I wasn't sure what to do. I feel fine now and I'm fairly certain I'm not anything over the top narcissistic, but it was a little scary to think about.
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