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 Connoisseur
Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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 Captain Con Helps the Homeless  8
#24001075 - 01/11/17 12:35 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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So last night i had a very bizare and unique experience i would like to share with yall.
I was walking around by MSG when i spot a few homeless men on the side walk and one of them is wearing a sweat shirt for the fire dept of the town over from my home town. So i went up to him and was said hey man i live right by that town on your shirt!
So before i know it me and him are off an adventure all over midtown in the middle of the night to feed and clothe the homeless but very quickly it becomes apparent that my accomplice was some combination of delusional and conman with no real way to judge the line between the two and im pretty sure even the man himself didnt know what he believed about his own life.
He told me things like "the entire NYPD is my personal body guard team" "i work for obama and trump" "terrorists are after me" "i stopped a terrorist attack by throwing away my phone cause it had a bomb in it" "my name is danny" "im gonna make a movie about my life" "i know every cop in manhattan" "i go to private meetings in trump tower" ect.
So obviously after we roam around for a bit he takes me to this really awesome bar thats packed full of people, one of which is blatantly hallucinating and shouting pretty loudly at people who aren't there.
So we get a few pictures of weak cheap beer that wouldn't get me a buzz if i wanted it to but thats ok because i dont wanna be out of my wits when traveling with a 45 year old skitzo conman.
So we leave the bar, go by trump tower, wave at all the cops, smoke cigarettes and eventually we pick up some girl closer to my age who is cold and hungry and i take her into mcdonalds to get her food.
We continue to walk around periodically picking random shit up off the streets and giving it to people or throwing it out, and eventually "danny" leaves demanding that me and the girl meet him in front of MSG today at noon, we tell him we will and as he walks away i tell the girl to come with me because we gotta go get some cigarettes and have a talk.
We get a pack of smokes and talk about how "danny" is clearly a skitzo conman with a big heart but a skitzo conman just the same. We both agreed we hope to never see him again altho we did not regret the experience we had with him.
I gave the girl my number and had to run onto the train home so fast i nearly accidentally stole her bag i was carrying for her totally on accident, thank christ she realized in the nick of time as i was running onto the track lol!
I hope she contacts me one day.
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 Cowb0yNeal00
Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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 Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Connoisseur]
#24001141 - 01/11/17 01:10 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Good shit getting her number conny, one could only hope she will call you after almost accidentally stealing her bag! 
7/10 story. Would read again on weed.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Cowb0yNeal00]
#24001187 - 01/11/17 01:30 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Oh so you had yourself an adventure.
After we got off the phone I wondered why you were in the city and I hoped it wasnt to relapse.
Sounds wild though maybe youll see the girl again.
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Connoisseur
Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Cowb0yNeal00] 1
#24001218 - 01/11/17 01:42 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cowb0yNeal00 said:
Good shit getting her number conny, one could only hope she will call you after almost accidentally stealing her bag!
7/10 story. Would read again on weed.
she didnt have a number bro, i gave her my number.
to be honest their is ZERO sexual intent behind that though, the streets had worn her out pretty good but she was def NOT con(wo)man or a drug fiend so i hope i see her again one day.
i told her i was into hard drugs because i wanted to know if she was too and she said she didnt judge me for doing that but that she doesnt even smoke weed let alone do hard shit, i feel really bad for her.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub
Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,168
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Connoisseur] 1
#24001438 - 01/11/17 02:45 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Conn you are awesome 
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  Free time is the only time 
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Connoisseur
Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24001470 - 01/11/17 02:56 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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thanks! back at you! 
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Repertoire89
Cat
Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 22,536
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Connoisseur]
#24001490 - 01/11/17 03:05 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Bigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Connoisseur]
#24001664 - 01/11/17 04:16 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Why did you stick around for so long?
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Connoisseur] 5
#24001737 - 01/11/17 04:51 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Why in the middle of the list of bullshit things he told you do you list "my name is Danny"? That's not an uncommon name. Maybe he was just telling you his name.
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Connoisseur
Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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maybe some of the other things he said were true too, maybe they werent.
his name might have been danny but that doesnt change the fact insane conmen like him commonly use a fake name, i was just listing the things he said that i can not confirm or deny.
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Connoisseur]
#24002252 - 01/11/17 07:58 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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my name is Danny for the record.
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You wanna get high? Drink tap water.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)
Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: The Phleg] 1
#24002257 - 01/11/17 08:00 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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i thought this said "Captain Crunch helps the homeless"
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Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.
It's just a shot away..
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Connoisseur
Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Re: Captain Con Helps the Homeless [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#24018783 - 01/17/17 11:19 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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it doesnt though
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