I'm new here, although I've used this site frequently for information. I'll try to keep this somewhat brief and try to make sense of it all. A little background I'm 22 and I am very new to psychedelics, I've only been tripping for 3-4 months, only shrooms. I'm going to refer to my consciousness as,"me" and, "I". Just to keep it simple. Although it doesn't quite sound right. I decided I wanted to try to trip and have a life changing trip, and I got way more than I bargained for. I spent the day mentally preparing, and around 7pm myself and two friends, (A and B) began making out lemon tek, I made a 4gram lemon tek with mazatapec. We downed the liquid and washed down the mush left over. In about 15 minutes I could feel the Come up. By 30 minutes in I was overwhelmed with visuals. Everything was warping, and breathing, everyone's faces were warping and morphing. The room and all occupants were being squished in and elongated then squished from the top, people's hair was falling out and regrowing, the cartoons on the tv were coming off the screen as if they were in the room with me. I decided to go to the back room and put my playlist on and drift away. My playlist mainly consisted of chill step and light "triply" edm. I start the music and close my eyes as I lay on the couch. A few moments later one of my sober friends came in to say his goodbyes as I opened my eyes it was an almost painful transition back to the real world, everything was in slow motion and his words were hardly making since to me. I roll over onto my stomach to try and stay warm and close my eyes. Almost instantly it felt as if my entire body was being curled up into a ball and my skin was crawling, a brightly lit white room unfolded before me, surrounding me were spirals of golden crystals resembling DNA, the beauty was breathtaking, they seemed to go on forever, I thought how stunning the sight was and just as quickly as I thought it my thought was sucked from me and became part of the golden spirals, which I only understood as the DNA of the universe. As the music changed the scene went dark, the melody of the music lit the darkness and I was merged into the music as one. I ,(the melody) flew through the galaxy of emptiness leaving a bright colorful trail in our wake. The music had absorbed my soul and all physical attachment was gone. I could no longer feel my body, and it felt so perfect, as a new song came on I opened my eyes and I my vision was endless blacks and greys, I tried to look around the room but it was as if I was looking brought crystalline eyes and there was no telling reality from fantasy. I lay back down and drift away as quickly as I close my eyes. My two friends, A and B came in and tried to converse with me and I couldn't tell who they were, they no longer looked or sounded like the people I knew. I wanted to go back to he beautiful world of colors and music, but this was not the case as this is where it took a bad turn.
I struggle to get comfortable, tossing and turning. Every move I made was disrupting the cosmic flow and balance, the golden spirals began cracking and crumbling, the music wasn't so uplifting and euphoric anymore, it sounded strange and new. I began struggling for air, I tried to stay calm and tell myself i was only tripping and I could breathe, but I could feel the panic coming on with no mercy. My head felt like it had expanded ten fold, my brain was twisting and "crawling" inside my skull. The music was twisting my mind with each note. I felt a rush of physical pain unlike any I had felt before, then a wave of numbness, my limbs became heavy and felt disfigured, I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried, I began to be overwhelmed with fear. Then every emotion you can feel as a human washed over me to an extent I've never felt, as if I was feeling every persons emotion in the universe. Every emotion came together in a bright star of color and I felt an osd sensation I can't even begin to describe, it was so calming and incredible. The star exploded and shot this new feeling across the entire galaxy of nothingness I was trapped in. I was overcome with bliss and was completely separate from the real world, I was nothing, yet everything, there was no one, but everyone. The vastness became too much to handle, I was overcome with complete sadness as my soul and consciousness were ripped apart. There was an emptiness, and loneliness like I've never felt before. I desperately wanted to call out to my friends in the other room but I couldn't, I wasn't real anymore. Rap music started blaring drowning out my music, I was losing all touch with what tiny bit of reality was left, the bass shook the entire blank space I was in. The words from the music made no sense, I couldn't understand, I didn't even know what music was at this point. My entire consciousness was being engulfed by the abyss of everything. I heard voices talking, and dogs barking and a loud crash, I had no idea where I was, maybe my body had wandered off outside, I tried with everything I had to open my eyes and end this terrible feeling, but all I could see were crystals and had no clue where I was, there monsters in the space with me, the entire room began to spin and sucked into the golden spirals, becoming part of the universe. Complete confusion washed over me and he panic became worse, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't calm my self. My entire head was spinning my brain was being squashed as if it were a lump of dough. I felt the sensation of being lifted into the air, I was staring at my lifeless body and watched a loop of myself trying to wake myself from this nightmare. I thought this is hell, I'm stuck in the worst moment of my life for all eternity, surrounded by these shadow monsters. I couldn't breathe, my body was racked with pain, I saw an intense light wash over the entire abyss I had been trapped in. There was a warm presence with me that shunned the shadow figures away, I gasped for air, my heart began racing, I was begging for relief, and as I exhaled I felt a calmness as life slipped from myself, all the fear, panic, and anxiety vanished. I felt myself drifting away. Suddenly there was a loud ringing that drowned out all the noise, it began to hurt my head as it got louder and louder, it was coming from every corner of this endless abyss I was still in, I heard a voice sing out, "don't leave, I need you here, you have to be here tomorrow don't leave me."
A siren began blasting and lights were overwhelming, I thought, they found me an ambulance is here, I'm going to wake up in a hospital. If I wake at all. I could feel closer to my physical body than I had in what felt like years. My friends came into the room and I could feel them touch me, I could hear them speak to me. But I couldn't understand what they were saying nor could I respond. I began to be able to understand them, but I couldn't respond. It felt as though I was in a coma, I could hear and feel and I could do nothing about it. I felt I had been laying in my own filth, I though I had thrown up, drooled, and urinated on myself, later my friends confirmed I had not. They shined a light in my eyes and were trying to see if I was breathing, it took some time before I was able to open my eyes, and even longer before I could speak again. They told me my face and neck were swollen and purple, I begged them to keep talking to me, it took every bit of me to focus and stay in the real world. My mind kept trying to slip back into the darkness. After some time we went to the other room and began watching tv. I was still overwhelmed with OEV, and my sense of reality was destroyed. Mr. Pickles made so much sense to me in this state. After the visuals had died down enough for me to tell reality from fantasy, this is around the 5 hour mark sense consumption. friend B and I wandered around the neighborhood as I tried to make sense of it all. I had strong OEV for another hour or so. Things began to make more sense as time went on, I was mentally destroyed. It was the most beautiful and most terrifying experience of my life. In the days following the world has been a little brighter, my smile is a little bigger, I'm more confident, and nothing gets me down, and overall a very positive outcome, although I have occasional flash backs to the intense parts and feel everything all over again. It was an unforgettable experience and I don't regret it in the slightest. I hope to reach this state again in the future with a better understanding. But never again will I do lemon tek. Sorry for the long post but I felt I needed to share, and this was a condensed version.
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