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Invisiblevandago
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: sprinkles]
    #24024683 - 01/20/17 02:52 AM (7 years, 10 days ago)

The first time I went to jail and had to sit more than 30 days I started thinking that a lot.  I could've gone to the military and realized as people grow they separate and been an independent bad ass with at least an excuse to complain about stuff.  Jail you walk out with a probation officer and a few felonies, when you leave the military you actually have something to show for your life ( even if they lie and treat you like shit in the military, it's not like jail was a fantasy )


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Invisibleeeso
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #24025907 - 01/20/17 03:13 PM (7 years, 10 days ago)

I was seriously suicidal about 8 years ago, I was in my mid 20s. I fucked all around with to asphyxiate myself with a belt, but never could go all-the-way through with it. (nobody knew, so it wasn't a 'cry for help')

I was suicidal in 2010, drove my truck into a boulder at high-speed and rolled it. (I had also taken a fatal combination of drugs {not consciously intentionally} which led to that). I died. I was clinically dead when the paramedics got to me. And for a while in the hospital.

Since that experience I've decided that suicide is ridiculous. Won't attempt it again. Being alive, even if you feel like shit all the time, is way better than the alternative.

Like other posters have said - you have no idea that things won't get better. Unless you're in the ground.


Edited by eeso (01/20/17 03:32 PM)


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: eeso]
    #24026203 - 01/20/17 04:46 PM (7 years, 10 days ago)

i agree.  feeling down is better than feeling nothing. ever. again.  never hearing music again, tasting food again, feeling love or human touch.  human touch is important btw.  I think a lot of people here dont get enough.

go back to a time before your first memories.. when you were in the womb.  remember? it is nothingness.


one thing a lot of us addicts have in common is a spiritual seperation from the divine.  Drugs cut of your connection to others and your spirit.  thats why muslims dont drink or use. AA approaches it as a spiritual disease, which is why its success is hit and miss.  You cant talk someone out of heroin or alcoholism. You cant talk someone out of a disease. It is a mental disease and should be approached as such. it is also a spiritual disconnectedness.  Both should be addressed




thats not saying living in chronic pain is better than feeling nothing.  there are of course circumstances where death is better.  depression is stiffling.  you must find joy in things.  I try to have an attitude of gratitude, though i struggle with that sometimes.

read the bible.  thats the best advice i can give rite now.


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Offlinehalo
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: sprinkles]
    #24130231 - 03/02/17 01:56 AM (6 years, 10 months ago)

OP is there any update? How are you doing?


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All drugs should be legal


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Offlinebestpsybeever
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: sprinkles]
    #24151651 - 03/10/17 02:52 PM (6 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
i agree.  feeling down is better than feeling nothing. ever. again.  never hearing music again, tasting food again, feeling love or human touch.  human touch is important btw.  I think a lot of people here dont get enough.

go back to a time before your first memories.. when you were in the womb.  remember? it is nothingness.


one thing a lot of us addicts have in common is a spiritual seperation from the divine.  Drugs cut of your connection to others and your spirit.  thats why muslims dont drink or use. AA approaches it as a spiritual disease, which is why its success is hit and miss.  You cant talk someone out of heroin or alcoholism. You cant talk someone out of a disease. It is a mental disease and should be approached as such. it is also a spiritual disconnectedness.  Both should be addressed




thats not saying living in chronic pain is better than feeling nothing.  there are of course circumstances where death is better.  depression is stiffling.  you must fiyourjoy in things.  I try to have an attitude of gratitude, though i struggle with that sometimes.

read the bible.  thats the best advice i can give rite now.




I think that makes a lot of sense. That's probably why psychedelics especially the ones known to be more spiritual like mushrooms and ayahuasca can be so effective for helping people defeat addiction.

I'd like to add that I think the majority of humanity (or at least the majority of those living in a western like society) are so horribly disconnected from their spirituality. So much so to the point that if you try to talk about spirituality with most people they look at you like you're telling them about the time you walked into the forest and pet a unicorn after exchanging an awkward glance with a goblin.

I think its a large part of the reason why so many humans are destroying the earth with no remorse. If you're not in touch with you spiritual side it's easy to ignore all of the horrible shit you're a part of when you're so disconnected from your emotions and spirit that feeling empathy is way out of the question. Especially if the horrible shit is half way around the world.

Op. Have been here since the tread started and haven't heard back in a long time. Hope you're still kicking man, and facing and defeating your demons.


--------------------
One thing I've learned. "You can turn your back on a person, but never on a drug, especially when it's waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: sprinkles] * 1
    #24163293 - 03/15/17 12:19 AM (6 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:

You cant talk someone out of heroin or alcoholism. You cant talk someone out of a disease. It is a mental disease and should be approached as such.





You can teach people their real motivation for intoxication.

Millions of people have defeated addiction, and the only way to leave it behind is understanding.

People remain unable to change their behavior because of ignorance.


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OfflineMemories
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #24166964 - 03/16/17 12:46 PM (6 years, 10 months ago)

Understanding was only part of the battle.

I can understand how i react to drugs and alcohol, but still find myself going back to it or continuing to use, fucking up my life in the process.

What was necessary for me was taking action, which first started with accepting that i needed help.


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OfflineArose Chaos
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Re: I swear to god I can't die [Re: Memories] * 1
    #24171016 - 03/17/17 09:02 PM (6 years, 10 months ago)

Shit I would give my left nut to be 18 again and not have the same mistakes I made when I was 25 and 26 which are still fucking me over. Sounds like you have a normal life for an 18 year old. It gets better. And I fucking guarantee 100% there will be multiple moments in the future where your feeling good and having a great time where you look back and say "man, i'm glad I didn't kill myself". I do it all the time these days man. Just fight through.


--------------------
<<WOW
"There is nofhing noble in being superior to your fellow man;
true nobility is being superior to your former self" -Hemingway


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Anonymous #2

What do you do with actual issues? [Re: Arose Chaos]
    #24171316 - 03/18/17 12:00 AM (6 years, 10 months ago)

This is absolutely completely someone not appreciating things because of snapchat this made me feel better about myself and that's not what I expected I thought this would be about drug overdose or some crazy story I'm going to be blunt this really pissed me off like I'm getting high as fuck to forget I read this, if this is upset what are you going to do when an actual obstacle comes your way. I'm only hoping you either stop letting lack of appreciation and awareness over what you have or you will probably hate life because people caring and having money you earned is a gigantic issue, I won't say I'm not wishing I was in your position just the only thing seems to be you getting upset. A have income B you are doing well with DMT weed is not unreasonable priced nor do you need t break it's in no real way going to harm you long term. What do you even plan on doing when life is not being very stable for you get upset more? People die, relationships, cheating, car accident, loss of job so much more. I handle shit with heroin and my issue is living in worst time of my life my self caused issue. If snapchat was bothering me I'd probably sell my phone over that alone I have one friend and one alone on my list. I'm pissed off I likely cannot be in your shoes and it's upsetting to you.


You are worried your parents are spying on you, you have fucking loving parents? I have no idea how lsd and dmt use is involved and you're still caught up in materialistic or issues that just aren't issues. My general reason for not trying to commit suicide again I was fucked up instead of dead trying benzos for putting me out put me on that bed fucking mindnumb, that turned into I want a good ending so no drugs are too toxic or addictive and taking excessive amounts of shit just to pack it in and cut a big chunk off lifespan. I really hope there is something you're leaving out because you are doing well. If you can't get something more out of DMT LSD it's no wonder you tried to kill yourself. I haven't paid for drugs with my money since 2016 last couple months of it. If by some chance I got sober and had a job smoking weed doing DMT and LSD and got upset over snapchat I would kill myself that's just incomprehensible. Drugs aside we both live at home and we're same age. Every time I've said I was suicidal after 14 was  was lying as to the behavior changes and withdrawing from life. At worst taking some drugs will make you suicidal when they wear off sleep takes care of it.
If you swear you can't die, than you really from my experience with suicidal thoughts have something holding you back. If you were suicidal you would sigh and figure out what went wrong and try again.


Edited by Anonymous (03/18/17 12:39 AM)


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