Trip Report Substance: Psilocybe Cubensis Strain: Midlands Magic Dosage: 2 grams dried Psilocybin
All my trips are to be documented for the purposes of observing and evaluating the effects of psychedelics on a clinically diagnosed bipolar individual. Please do not think that I am glorifying psychedelics and the effect they have on a bipolar individual. This is all for the pure sake of interest, knowledge and harm reduction. DO NOT take psychedelics with a bipolar diagnosis without doing the necessary research. It does not take kindly to all.
The following is a detailed trip report of a 2 gram dried psilocybin experience I had undergone the day I came out of rehabilitation for mental wellness and substance abuse.
My state of mind after finishing my two weeks in rehab was quite an interesting one. In these two weeks I learned a lot about myself, how my brain works due to my ‘condition’. I had been pumped full of pharmaceuticals to get my brain “back on track”, yet still I felt more void of answers than ever.
They told me that I ask too many questions. They told me it is a supposedly inhuman state called psychosis. So I told myself that I listened to what they had to say, I understood what my diagnosis was and I also understood that they wanted to keep my mind away from these questions. I wanted to have answers, so I went back to my roots and took a lighter 2 gram dose of dried psilocybin to see in what state my mind really was post rehab. These questions I ask will be discussed in later posts, but for now, let us get into the trip report.
I got home around 3pm, unpacked and instantly I felt a craving for a mushroom trip. I prepped myself throughout the day, writing down what was on my mind at the time to stimulate the critical voice. I was quite nervous for the trip, but I knew that it was going to happen. Around 8pm I took the two grams of dried psilocybin and proceeded to sit outside with a bottle of wine, a reasonable amount of cannabis and a Bluetooth speaker. During the come up, something in my mind broke loose and told me to just enjoy the hell out of the trip, to not take it so serious, and I immediately felt the comfort of the mushrooms settling into all my limbs. At this point I chain smoked about 3 bong rips while having the best time of my life dancing to the music I was playing at the time. The world broke free in colour; it was like I was tripping during the day. Objects were slowly morphing into other objects. I clearly remember standing still thinking to myself, “how the fuck is this 2 grams? I’ve got visuals like a 4 gram trip!”
The trees were liquid, the branches looking like droplets of ink in a bowl of water. My mind was quiet. I was completely content with stepping back and just observing this amazing spectacle in front of my eyes. I was in awe. The music worked so well with the visuals. Everything was moving with energy to the beat of the music I was listening to. The mushrooms heard the music, too. I felt very proud because I cultivated these mushrooms myself, and as any grower knows, there’s no better feeling than when your own grow kicks hard. I was telling myself, “nice one, man! Other people are gonna love this!” I do not grow to sell; I grow for either consuming it myself or for consumption with friends. This was such a booster in the early phase of the trip, I feel. From here the trip only intensified. For the next 3 hours I felt no waving in the trip, it was just there, full on the whole time. I loved every single minute of it. The trip turned into a very cerebral journey after the first hour. I started feeling intensified swirls of emotion, going from being immensely happy to point break sadness. It was like I was going through every emotion possible to quite some severity, as if the mushrooms were showing me that I can handle any emotional rollercoaster- something I undeniably encounter ever so often suffering from manic depression. I remember my questions coming to mind again, and as I asked these questions, I gave myself the answers. What made it strange is that as I was involuntarily answering these questions, I was constantly correcting myself, reviewing refining all these answers thoroughly.
The open eye visuals faded as the trip turned more cerebral, but then the closed eye visuals intensified along with my thoughts. I started feeling as if there was more than one ego present in the trip- something I experience very often. When this happens, it is like I undergo two or three (I’ve been up to 5) different trips at the exact same time. This is something I will still work on explaining at a later point in a different post. I noticed that I was feeling perfectly sober with my eyes open, but the second I close them I fall back into the trip. It was like I had developed a switch between reality and the trip. This was absolutely mind boggling as this is something that is pretty much unheard of.
I decided to utilise the potency of the trip when my eyes were closed and proceeded to lie down on a recliner couch in a dark room with no music. It was perfectly quiet. I started falling back into these visuals again. At first they started out like the normal 2-dimensional images. I saw luminescent chameleons in the foreground, and the background was a swirling ocean of brightly coloured cubes everywhere, constantly changing colour from yellow to green to pink and back to yellow. I could feel my bond with nature, how beautiful and amazing it is. I stood up, went outside for a smoke and digested the neon colours and what I had just experienced.
After about 15 minutes and two cigarettes, I headed back to the couch, ready to go back in and live in my colourful mind for another beautiful experience. This time, though, the trip swung again. I went in expecting to see bright colours again, but after a few minutes of meditation I was thrown into a 3-Dimensional experience. I know, right? “3-dimensional visuals on 2 grams? Bullshit.” Nope, not even kidding.
I found myself standing in between two rows of buildings with Chinese styled décor. On the roof of each of the buildings were human torsos on pikes with their arms and heads cut off. It was a dark night there with midnight blue clouds covering the sky. It was a horrendous site. The blood flowed from these torsos down tilted roof tiles into the gutter, but something told me to talk a step forward, to start walking down this stone paved passage between these two buildings. All the torsos had their backs faced to me, but when I came near the first two on both sides of me, they spun around and the most beautiful Peacock feathers emerged and spread open from their backs. It turned it all into the most disturbingly beautiful sight I have ever seen. As I walked further, every torso turned and did the same. It was, by far, one of the most significant and beautiful experiences I have ever had.
To me it meant that there is still a dark, difficult road ahead for me, but that I will always grow on my way to the next journey. I will never go down the path without finding goodness and beauty. How was this only a 2 gram trip?
My eyes opened naturally and I came back to reality. I felt tired, but so content with life. I knew my trip had come to an end. I smoked a last cigarette, sat and though about my trip for 10 minutes, and then sloped off to bed. As I got in to bed and closed my eyes, I was welcomed by what seemed to be my mind picking up a paintbrush, letting the brush flow on the black canvass of my closed eyes with all different colours. It was beautiful. I faded into sleep from there.
Thanks for reading!
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