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FunGuyDeeDee
Stranger

Registered: 01/03/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Bipolar and the Psychedelic World - My Story (Interlude)
#23992060 - 01/08/17 10:38 AM (7 years, 22 days ago) |
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Where does one even begin..?
Hi, my name is Dee. Born 1996, South African, Financial Planner, Psychonaut and I live with Manic Depression.
I've been taking psychedelics, among other substances, for a couple of years now. About two and a half months ago I ended up in rehab for two weeks where, in the first week, I was treated for mental wellness.
After the first week had passed seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist daily, I was diagnosed with Manic Depression and thrown into the addiction course for the second week because I was a firm believer that the answers to everything lies within ourselves, and that these answers were shown to me when taking psychedelics.
Not all was bad, though. My psychologist happened to specialize in dream interpretation, and she really helped me delve deeply into some of my trips. She helped me answer a lot of questions. She made me realize that these psychedelic mind-altering states don't always give you the answers, but they rather give you a better question to ask or the tools to answer the questions that make you ponder so deeply.
Given, she still had to do her job and advised me against psychedelics, but I insisted. She told me that she can't believe that I can handle these trips so well even when they go bad only being 20 years old. I told her that it's because society makes us believe that we are weak minded. The stigma, the stamp of mental illness being that you cannot handle reality, that you are not normal. That you need medication to escape these thoughts, these voices.
Don't get me wrong, it's scary being in my mind from time to time. For about a year I believed that I was slowly losing my mind. No one could understand the questions I was asking and people told me that I was lending too much focus to things that aren't real.
I later realized that my bipolar mind was indeed a tad different to some. I realized that most people are so comfortable to only see the horizons of their own reality. Some of them are comfortable with seeing less, and here I am, only wanting to see more.
To back track a bit, I was initially misdiagnosed with anxiety depression, which led to me getting meds that did not at all work well with my psyche. The meds I currently have for my bipolar are also not too kind on my mind, and I've noticed that I feel amazing when I don't take them. So happy, so stable. Why would anyone want to be on these meds for the rest of their lives? I could feel it working against my psyche, trying to stifle it. The side effects are terrible. They make you feel claustrophobic in your own skin.
This is when I realized that this was a way bigger picture than being branded with the stigma of mental illness, this is a point in my life where I suddenly realized I was dealing with spiritual awakening. Real spiritual awakening.I knew that I wasn't mentally ill, I was simply more conscious as to what the universe really has to offer.
And now I'm here. I will be posting about my past and future trip reports, dosages, informative pieces, and my personal journey living with bipolar and the way it works with altered states of mind, as well as in normal reality.
Thanks for reading.
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Bipolar and the Psychedelic World - My Story (Interlude) [Re: FunGuyDeeDee]
#23992113 - 01/08/17 10:55 AM (7 years, 22 days ago) |
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I tripped really well most of the time, when the affect was clear. You should be aware that the illness gets worse as you get older. Self medicating will not be stronger than the illness, over time. How can the illness be more powerful than these drugs? It can be and will be. The brain isn't nature til 25. There are whole new depths of despair and heights that take years to cone down from. Questions no human has ever solved. The pain becomes much more logical and that hurts the worst. You brain will seek out to hurt others and you won't realize because you will think you are innocent and perceptive. Sure, may not be violence but words and questions.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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FunGuyDeeDee
Stranger

Registered: 01/03/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Bipolar and the Psychedelic World - My Story (Interlude) [Re: Morel Guy]
#23994237 - 01/09/17 01:08 AM (7 years, 21 days ago) |
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Thanks for advice and support. I'll make sure to always keep it in mind.
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Lemmiwinx
Stranger

Registered: 01/09/17
Posts: 2
Last seen: 6 years, 26 days
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Re: Bipolar and the Psychedelic World - My Story (Interlude) [Re: FunGuyDeeDee]
#23995976 - 01/09/17 05:53 PM (7 years, 21 days ago) |
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Very inspired by your post. Thanks for sharing, but morel guy is right. Unfortunately, our path as afflicted will never be solved. I was diagnosed at 23 and I'm now 35 separate from my wife and alienated most of my friends. It's a horrible thing but do as much research on it as possible. Once you understand the deficienes in your brain, it gets easier to identify your triggers.
Wish you all the best
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FunGuyDeeDee
Stranger

Registered: 01/03/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Bipolar and the Psychedelic World - My Story (Interlude) [Re: Lemmiwinx]
#24012302 - 01/15/17 02:12 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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I wish you all the best in life, and I really do appreciate the feedback and I do take it to heart.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 4 hours, 27 minutes
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Re: Bipolar and the Psychedelic World - My Story (Interlude) [Re: FunGuyDeeDee]
#24012345 - 01/15/17 02:38 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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woah! an open minded psychologist!?! you sir are one lucky bastard.
now contrast that with this shroomery members horrible experience with a psychologist
clearly you two have been treated differently. but why is that?
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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