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OfflinePsilosopherr
A psilly goose
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Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
Worst sexual experiences thread
    #23989030 - 01/07/17 10:15 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Its all in the title, go :popcorn:

Haven't had any super bad ones, really toothy blowjobs, surprise periods seem to haunt me :nonono:


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OfflineMikeTesserect
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Registered: 12/07/16
Posts: 351
Last seen: 23 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Psilosopherr] * 1
    #23989067 - 01/07/17 10:28 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

I paid for a prostitute and she didn't want to have sex. I still don't know if it was me or what. I ended up paying 150.00 for a blow job because I wanted something.


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Psilosopherr] * 1
    #23989075 - 01/07/17 10:31 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

worst sexual experiences were the times the sex was too short lived :sad:

minus that ive had some pretty good sex over the years :smile:


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Offlinexzylocybin
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Registered: 06/10/12
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Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Connoisseur] * 2
    #23989124 - 01/07/17 10:47 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

picking up a chubby ugly drunk girl with a blonde bowl haircut who then completely empties her enormous drunk bladder all over me and my bed while riding me. Had to get a new mattress

banging my gf in the ass while drunk in our tent on a camping trip in the summer. poop got everywhere but we didn't notice at night. When the sun came up and turned our tent into a greenhouse we damn well noticed.


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OfflineFishyAl
neighborhood stoner man!
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Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 59
Loc: VA
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: MikeTesserect] * 3
    #23989159 - 01/07/17 10:55 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

One night, I ate a girl out. It was our second time together. My nose was pressed up against her anus, and I was going to town on that kitty! All of a sudden, she let out the most putrid fart I have ever smelled. With the placement of my nose, I got a double shotgun load of this flatulence. It burned my nose hairs, and I felt like I was going to go blind. I had to take a break before we finished things up. I hated this experience, but damn could we both fuck! We ended up having a very long relationship afterwards.


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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reality is the cruelest dream.
I am probably not a cop.....
:shrug:


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: FishyAl] * 1
    #23989180 - 01/07/17 11:00 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

wow that sounds pretty bad but it could have been a lot worse if you catch my drift...


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OfflineProzac
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Registered: 12/15/16
Posts: 859
Loc: Miami, FL Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 18 hours
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23989300 - 01/07/17 11:40 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Drunk sex.

That is all.


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https://www.youtube.com/c/ExurbiA <<Check that out for puppy videos.


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Offlineergoticmandala
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Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
Last seen: 4 years, 28 days
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Prozac]
    #23989571 - 01/07/17 01:26 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

All of a sudden, she let out the most putrid fart I have ever smelled. With the placement of my nose, I got a double shotgun load of this flatulence. It burned my nose hairs, and I felt like I was going to go blind.



fuck you am I right


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23989658 - 01/07/17 02:11 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Buddy hooked me up with this cute girls friend
Who was not so cute but I was drunk and he wanted to bang the cutie so he did the bait and switch.

Anyway we fuck for what seems like hours and shes just way too large, I cant finish...

Also smells like straight dogshit.
Wake up in the morning and my buddy finds that the girl he hooked up with had shit the bed from being on too much xanax and the pillow I slept on has blood all over it.

I thought it was period blood but when I stumble home and look at the mirror I see theres dried blood under my nose. Thank the lord it was just a bloody nose.


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23989664 - 01/07/17 02:16 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

not an experiance but the sluttier and more degrading the sex the better the sex

but girlfriends give head so:shrug:


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Konyap]
    #23989667 - 01/07/17 02:17 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Most girls give head
Poorly, sure... But still they will try


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: ModestMouse] * 5
    #23989699 - 01/07/17 02:32 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

A guy I had been seeing for a very short while and I were at his friends house who had a couple friends over for a small fire, he was staying with them for a bit because he had just moved, and we were in a small adjacent room that had an open window into the living room that he had been posted up in on a pullout couch. Everyone was mostly out back, but filtering in occasionally for another drink. We were both drunk, just cuddling and talking, started making out and he started escalating things, I tried to get him to stop but he was literally molesting me telling me he knew I wanted it while everyone was out back. I was planning on sealing the deal but not that night. He proceeded to try and have sex with me against my will but I got him to stop by telling him I would have sex with him later that night. I was drinking and at a house that was a bit of a drive from me - 40ish minutes, and in retrospect I should've gtfo'd but it would've been an expensive cab ride I couldn't afford then, this was before uber, and the idea of calling him out in a house full of his friends/no one I knew was really intimidating though they were nice people.

So in the end I just gave in and willingly had sex with him a few hours later in the night, which in and of itself was fine, I guess. For a while it messed me up because I wasn't sure I was even in the right to feel upset because I eventually consented, it was confusing, I was having panic attacks about totally unrelated things that I didn't immediately connect to that night even though it started happening almost immediately after.

Now it's cool, I don't call myself a rape victim or identify as that in anyway but what he did was incredibly disgusting and even though I said no and tried to push him off me and get his hand out of my pants, I felt like I could've done more which I know now is not the correct way to think about it. Now though I would've left immediately and called a friend, a huge source of the anguish of this for me was that I didn't do that and that I gave in it completely shut down my sense of self worth for a while.



definitely the worst, haven't told anyone other than my brother irl, but I feel like I genuinely moved past it and can speak candidly about it now without feeling ashamed.


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: ModestMouse] * 6
    #23989704 - 01/07/17 02:33 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Being raped at age six. Of course that doesnt count as a sexual experience because all I got was someone violently forcing part of his body on me which I completely didnt understand and was threatened to never tell.

Never went to court, he died a few years after and it took a lot of shrooms to mop up the damage. He got another person, his daughter, and she never recovered.

Nazis rendered him powerless in a forced labor camp in Germany and he needed to somehow get to terms with that powerlessness so his coping mechanism was to shut up and act normal, which failed completely and led to him molesting the helpless, children under his care, gender mattered not, only opportunity. He smoked himself to death with cigars. The one time his wife found out he was molesting his own daughter she, likewise scarred by war and poverty, hushed it under the carpet and told her daughter too to never tell.

Hi granddad, its me, and your crime is on the Internet, for all to see.

Here's to family secrets :raisemyglass:


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Asante]
    #23989714 - 01/07/17 02:35 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

the more they want a relationship, the worse the sex


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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #23989719 - 01/07/17 02:38 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Ok so I am resurrecting this thread on account of this weekends epic shitty experience.  The person on the giving end of this may read this.....I won't name any names......identity is safe of course.



SOOOOO I am camping all last weekend.  Saturday night rolls around and I am pretty well gone at this point....mostly from lack of sleep and malnutrition I'd say.  I am rolling pretty hard as well.

An old friend I haven't seen in a long time comes and we start hanging out.....one thing leads to another....we end up in a tent.


I remember having sex.....then I don't know what happened....I didn't cum.....I just passed out.....I awoke to a horrid odor.

Apparently this girl shit sleeps......I looked over and there was a full shopping bag of shitty toilet paper next to us.

I went and stood by the fire and looked down at myself.


I was covered.


From the waste down on me.



My pants were just caked in it.



I stripped them off and threw them on the ground.....went to my car and grabbed shorts and a t shirt  ( its 40 degrees ) and the shut my trunk with my keys in it. 


Goddamn....covered in poo.....freezing my nuts off.



I ended up using my car antenna to unlock my car door and get the keys out of the trunk.....I didn't even wake her.  I just left her in my tent with my blanket and pillow, and left my clothes on the ground.



I've damn near done it all with a woman now ladies and gentlemen.  Damn near.




Quote:

Smushroom said:
vandago: I actually ran into her at a party last night and she was the one that told me about it. She was pretty wasted so I wasn't sure if the story was true so I had to come looking for this thread. And bingo.

I can't even imagine waking up and dealing with that.




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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Konyap]
    #23989721 - 01/07/17 02:39 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

Konyap said:
the more they want a relationship, the worse the sex





Ummmmm? Just no.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: pirate-blues]
    #23989722 - 01/07/17 02:39 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

I started feeling progressively less attracted towards my ex until I couldnt function properly, felt so grossed out from the whole thing, thought I had ED for like 6 months after.

Leaving the bathroom the morning after sleeping with my ex to find her brother standing outside the door with a baseball bat, that was awkward.


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Offlineergoticmandala
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Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
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Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #23990049 - 01/07/17 04:30 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

pirate - Thats really disturbing, I'm sorry to hear that you went through that. Most people are good but its people who do things like that who can have lasting negative impacts on people's lives.

asante - Also so sorry to hear that.


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: pirate-blues]
    #23990152 - 01/07/17 05:04 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
.




Yes, disturbing. I'd be down to beat that guy the fk up for that if you think he still deserves it. Makes me cringe bad thinking of dudes trying to stick their hands in girls pants when they're not welcome.

My worst time out of the few when i was a young rascal first year college was banging this intense chick at a party who I really wasn't attracted to and she was also bleedin and bloodied up my pants. I stupidly kept talking to her afterwards falsely leading her on but then came to my senses and started ignoring her texts and felt real bad and sketchy as I tried to avoid running into her for the rest of my college career


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
Re: Worst sexual experiences thread [Re: trees] * 1
    #23990244 - 01/07/17 05:27 PM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Hah I appreciate the offer Trees, but this was several years ago and I am long past it, when I told my brother(who is the human equivalent of a golden retriever in demeanor usually) he was furious, he wanted his name, he wanted to find him and confront him even though I told him absolutely not, I ended up yelling at him and telling him that if he wanted to do something for me he could simply let me move on and be a listening ear, and that confronting this guy would only make him feel better and completely against my best interests.

Do I worry that he might've done this to another girl? Yeah(he texted me the next morning with an apology so he realized to some degree what he did) and hindsight is 20/20 I would've done it differently if the person I am now was in that situation, but I don't feel guilty about doing what's best for me which is not tying up my identity and not associating sex in general with what this was, and most importantly being able to address it and move on. Needless to say, my brother was furious but I am forever grateful he gave me the listening ear I desperately needed and let me move on.


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