|
Lilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
|
Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal
#23986807 - 01/06/17 03:17 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
I know this is weird and I dont want to get into it but I want to know that I can die when I choose to and that I will only have to do it once and not end up paralysed. Knowing I have a way out will give me some relief to try and make things work
I want to jump from a bridge someday but I dont know if I will die with impact because some people survive that so I'm thinking worst case scenario I can drown but I cant force myself to drown because my body will kick into fight or flight mode and will try to swim so I was thinking what if take some sleeping pills and then jump but I would have to time it just right and jump when I begin to feel drowsy and hopefully the water wont wake me up??? I dont know..I also thought about having rocks in my pocket or something to keep me sinking but I dont want to end up in the bottom of an ocean and never be found is there a way I can go down with something heavy and then have it detach from me? I could take the rocks out of my pockets once I'm down but I cant count on that what if Im too confused. Also I could hurt myself somehow before I jump but then if I'm bleeding I could attract a shark
And what If I'm not badly injured and I do drown, they can revive me and bring me back to life.
This is really frustrating it's all I think about I just want to have a plan so I can stop thinking about it and try to live instead with knowing I can also go away into a peaceful nonexistence. I feel like if I dont figure this out I might just do something stupid and end up in a wheelchair.
Any thoughts?
|
sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23986847 - 01/06/17 03:27 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
every human being on earth has thought about suicide. That is normal.
ruminating in thoughts of suicide or planning it is NOT.
...and any person that says they have never thought about it is either a liar or a defective.
|
Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky] 1
#23986852 - 01/06/17 03:28 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
Suicide ideation is very dangerous. You need help. Dying may not be an escape.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
|
sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23986867 - 01/06/17 03:34 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
there is no humane option to end life unfortunately. it should be a basic human right just as the right to live, IMO.
when we die naturally it is because an organ physically fails. Suicide is basically the same thing, with the organ being the brain. it's not having a good time here, and it doesnt want to play anymore.
um you cant use a gun, you can flinch when you pull the trigger and blow off your jaw or half your face. And fucking live. The jumping thing or any trauma related accident you run the risk of paralyzed. Since you dont have much to lose at this point why not change some things and see if tomorrow is any different. the option will always be there tomorrow, and who knows something mite change.
its like taking everything you know and everything you have and putting it on a table. Then spinning a wheel, not knowing what the payoff is going to be. could be good, could be bad.. you just dont know. and if you ask anyone that is a really bad bet. Nothing i'd ever want to gamble, honestly.
Read the bible. Pray to God. It will fall on deaf ears if you havent accepted Christ though.
|
Lilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Morel Guy]
#23986875 - 01/06/17 03:36 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
I cant get help if I tell anyone this is what I'm thinking they will lock me up. I dont understand why planning your own death is so taboo we all die and some from horrible diseases over months or years I just want to know that if I'm not happy I can go faster
|
Lilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23986887 - 01/06/17 03:40 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
Yea that makes sense sprinkles it just I find it hard to change anything with this feeling that I'm stuck on this planet would rather it be a choice and I think this planning thing is so I can choose that while knowing I can change my mind later and I have nothing to loose
|
sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23986888 - 01/06/17 03:41 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
sometimes thinking about it and just having the option is comforting enough. Like I said, the option will always be there tomorrow, so I guess I'd wait a little longer.
Consciousness is a gift though. I know it doesnt seem like it. I totally understand people wanting to kill themselves. sometimes you just dont want to spend another fucking second here.. but feeling/experiencing pain is better than experiencing nothing at all, ever again.
you'll never taste food, hear music, dream, love, hate...
Do me a favor though, take some fucking lawyers and lawmakers out with you should you decide to leave. Im sick of those fucking people. They gotta go. I would encourage you to stay though. there is so much beauty all around. Look at this sunset last night and thems birds this morning  
|
Lilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: sprinkles]
#23986894 - 01/06/17 03:44 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
Lol
Yes the option is comforting I just need to figure this out but I guess I wont find the answers here
|
Lilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23986898 - 01/06/17 03:46 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
That is beautiful I love watching the sunset
|
sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23986944 - 01/06/17 04:03 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
just one more thing..
PLEASE NEVER make the decision to end life while drunk, high, or impaired in any way. That is a decision that must be made with a clear head. It should NOT be made at any time when you are emotional, or some impulsive moment. because feelings LIE. Hope that helps. I'll be thinking about ya while i work on my fkg stupid POS truck. 
plus also there's a million people who would kill to be in your situation. ya know?
|
Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: sprinkles]
#23986955 - 01/06/17 04:07 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
It's that there are better options than to murder yourself. Unless it's going to be a very certain and very painful death or other severe untreatable condition.
Is your plane going down and your afraid of burning to death? If not, why eat the bullet? If you can land safely, why not get a dinner, drink and some ass?
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
|
Lilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Morel Guy]
#23986975 - 01/06/17 04:17 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
Thanks sprinkles.
Morel I dont expect others to understand but thanks for trying
|
Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Lilky]
#23987370 - 01/06/17 06:24 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
|
|
I've tried to OD 2x. Not the strongest drugs or even the right ones. It's an act of desperation. More over it may be a commitment to an after life we don't understand. But tripping may be what it is.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
|
sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: Morel Guy]
#23988958 - 01/07/17 09:42 AM (7 years, 23 days ago) |
|
|
its one thing to fail at life, but then failing at killing yourself?
most people who attempt suicide succeed eventually. I am good at everything I do, the key is to fully engage yourself in whatever you are doing. My friend sucks and cant do anything. Everything he does he does half ass or worse. He never can fully emerse himself in what he does because he is pre-occupied with whatever stupid shit is going on in his brain. Dont know why im rambling but good luck
|
DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
|
Re: Suicidal thoughts but not suicidal [Re: sprinkles] 1
#23989192 - 01/07/17 11:05 AM (7 years, 23 days ago) |
|
|
I knew someone who claimed to walk around with a cyanide capsule. Didn't believe them at the time..... Well they weren't lying. Not going in to detail, but he took that pill in back of a cop car apprehended headed back to prison.... It worked. So fucking sad.
Think of the people who'll have to live with your death on their minds..... Don't do it
-------------------- This was an experiment.
|
|