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OfflineSkizor1337
Trip King
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Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,106
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody
    #23984984 - 01/05/17 07:44 PM (7 years, 25 days ago)

Overall I just want to feel like myself and happy like i used to 100% of the time.

I remember I used to wake up so excited and ready for anything everyday of the year despite anything going on. I had it together mentally. I loved life and took things one situation at a time. This was about 3 years ago.

Then I broke up with my girl and shit fell apart.
Then I was able to feel normal again about a year ago but recently shits just falling apart.


I work 8-5pm Monday - Friday.

Come home and take care of my dog and only have a little bit of time to do anything fun so i just play video games and go to bed. I actually dont have any friends here anymore because they all moved away for jobs.

I have my own place, car, and dog that keeps me company.

But the weekends are even more depressing because I have nothing to do. It's winter and nobody is around. I will not go to the bar by myself to try to meet people because that's 100% retarded in my personal opinion.

I haven't been able to find any girl worth dating since I broke up with my last girlfriend and that was 3 years ago.

Everytime I meet a guy or a girl to even be friends with they disappear and never give explanation. After 30-50 people later I really start to wonder what the fuck is wrong.I tried the online dating thing but all the girls I meet either want to get back with their EX or are so broken I can't stand it.

But honestly I never have anything fun to do except take a bunch of mushrooms which is great but recently I can't take them because I am not happy and they will just make me super fucking depressed. (Tripped for 8 years)

My job is also pretty shitty. I have a bachelors degree in construction management and I am a construction estimator for an excavation company. It's a shitload of work and the worst part is that I just sit in an office all fucking day and it is not easy to get motivated. The work is hard and I don;t get paid that much for what i do.

I know their is not a secret formula for Happiness and life but WTF do I do.
It just pisses me off because I had shit locked down it wasnt even funny. I could approach anyone and make friends in 5 seconds. Now I can barely talk to people anymore.

Nothing is changing. I need change and the only thing I can think of is to completely start over. I have tried so many different things and I only have so much time to figure my life out before I have to go to my shitty ass job that makes me want to murder everyone and burn the fucking place down.


--------------------
100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy




Edited by Skizor1337 (01/06/17 06:57 AM)


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OfflineLilky
Stranger
Registered: 01/06/17
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 23 days
Re: Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody [Re: Skizor1337]
    #23986833 - 01/06/17 03:24 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

I know its hard. keep yourself busy, have you tried going to meetups? I know people that do that and made a lot of friends that way. If you have a hobby look up for groups in your area. Take up a class in something you like. It will take time but change your mindset and be persistent your life can look different with time.


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Offline5150
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Registered: 09/01/06
Posts: 5,437
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody [Re: Skizor1337]
    #23987012 - 01/06/17 04:28 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

U have a job and a place to live
Maybe drive for uber,lyft on the weekends
Run like an hour a day,get a used pro form treadmill
Read classic novels,Tolstoy,Dostoevsky
Embrace the madness,life is a rain drop falling into a leaf and creating a mosquito


--------------------
"the way of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death"

Miyamoto Musashi


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OfflineDoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body
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Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country Flag
Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
Re: Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody [Re: 5150]
    #23991672 - 01/08/17 06:28 AM (7 years, 22 days ago)

Both of those posts above have good ideas and ways to be.  I especially liked one just above for the running suggestion.

Maybe it's working out just now that you have difficulty making new acquaintances because something is telling you , you need to work on yourself.  Maybe the fact you're not happy with self &-or life shows through more than you're aware of, and is a "turn off" to new people..... Focus on becoming happy and content again by and with yourself, and your natural magnetism towards new people will restrengthen.. 

Are there any other chems you take that could be fucking up your mindset?

You'll make it through this just hang in there and keep homicidal tendencies a fantasy!


--------------------
This was an experiment.


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OfflineSkizor1337
Trip King
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,106
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
Re: Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody [Re: DoneKildatReason]
    #23992324 - 01/08/17 12:45 PM (7 years, 22 days ago)

Quote:

DoneKildatReason said:
Both of those posts above have good ideas and ways to be.  I especially liked one just above for the running suggestion.

Maybe it's working out just now that you have difficulty making new acquaintances because something is telling you , you need to work on yourself.  Maybe the fact you're not happy with self &-or life shows through more than you're aware of, and is a "turn off" to new people..... Focus on becoming happy and content again by and with yourself, and your natural magnetism towards new people will restrengthen.. 

Are there any other chems you take that could be fucking up your mindset?

You'll make it through this just hang in there and keep homicidal tendencies a fantasy!




I apprecaite all the help and ideas!!!!!!

I am hanging in there. I think winter here in PA is also fucking me up.

I only smoke small amounts of weed here and there and trip of mushrooms. I haven't tripped in a couple months. Other than those substances I don't fuck with other drugs.

I just need to figure out how to be happy again like you said. It's a struggle and I am not sure why and how I lost myself.


--------------------
100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy




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OfflineDoneKildatReason
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Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
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Last seen: 12 days, 1 hour
Re: Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody [Re: Skizor1337]
    #23993997 - 01/08/17 10:32 PM (7 years, 21 days ago)

Yeah, I know a similar feeling personal to me about not feeling that carefree happiness I felt as a child.  I was always happy and excited about things.... I still feel that old way sometimes, but rarely with such purity as years ago.  For a long time I had given up on recapturing the feeling, and reserved to fact it was a youth thing..... Then I felt it again..... So it is not lost.  I hope your's is also not lost.


--------------------
This was an experiment.


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OfflineSkizor1337
Trip King
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,106
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 13 hours
Re: Lost myself. Can't seem to find myself anymore. About to kill everybody [Re: DoneKildatReason]
    #23994566 - 01/09/17 08:11 AM (7 years, 21 days ago)

Quote:

DoneKildatReason said:
Yeah, I know a similar feeling personal to me about not feeling that carefree happiness I felt as a child.  I was always happy and excited about things.... I still feel that old way sometimes, but rarely with such purity as years ago.  For a long time I had given up on recapturing the feeling, and reserved to fact it was a youth thing..... Then I felt it again..... So it is not lost.  I hope your's is also not lost.




I just have to make it through this awful winter. It's just been hard because all my friends moved away last year for jobs and my best friend just moved out of the country a month ago. So I just have this one girl to hangout with that is great but we only see eachother once a week. I really do appreciate the positive support from everyone. I'm only 24 and just miss the way things used to be. But this is a new year for new beginnings. Thanks


--------------------
100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy




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