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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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Life Decision Advice
#23981633 - 01/04/17 02:41 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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Hi Shroomery Folks,
I'm at a crossroads and am thinking about making a big life change. In times like this I've found it useful to consult oracles of the Shroomery, plus it's helpful to write things down.
Here's the predicament: I have some debt which is burdensome. Most of it originated from two bachelor's degrees, there's also credit card debt, and some owed to a friend.
While working on my second degree, I was promised a golden parachute. There were plenty of jobs, if I finished the program I would be set. After I graduated, the bottom fell out of the industry and I was laid off.
I wasn't very excited about the profession, but it suited the lifestyle I wanted to live. Frustration from not being able to have a job and not being too psyched about the career I had chosen has led me a bit astray. My living conditions aren't the best and job prospects aren't great in the place I'm living.
However, I'm new to this area and I like it here. This is where I would like to be. I'd like to build a life here, working, farming, and scheming.
Working for a large corporation in a job I'm not passionate about doesn't settle well for me. If I'm not excited about the work I'm doing or where I'm living it's hard for me to be happy with life.
In the last couple days a job opportunity has come up.. It's union, the pay will be great, with benefits, room to advance and lots of potential skills to gain: welding, electrical, etc. The work will be interesting and keep me engaged but it's dedicated to an industry I don't believe in. Also, I would have to move to a place I don't want to be. It wouldn't have to be permanent, maybe a few years until I get my finances in better shape.
My 20's were great, I've accomplished things I could only dream of at one time. I've traveled, partied, and spent a lot of time in school. I'm tired of being in debt and having nothing though.
So do I keep suffering and try to make things work where I want to be? Or do I move on to greener pastures and sell out my ideals?
Thanks guys, most input is helpful. I won't make up my mind about anything for a few days since Mercury is in retrograde
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23981640 - 01/04/17 02:44 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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*deleted by moderator*
Don't flame, and be nice.
--------------------
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
Edited by Tmethyl (01/04/17 08:41 PM)
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool] 4
#23981653 - 01/04/17 02:50 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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start packing...
take the union job. and run with it. you can always move back to once you are financially stable. no reason to even think of it.
so what the town you will have to move to sucks, but the experience alone will help cross out your schooling. while you are working the union job you can always look for things your degree/current career translates to in other fields.
dont struggle just because you have a piece of paper with your name on it that says you accomplished something.. that aint worth it.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: rackem]
#23981722 - 01/04/17 03:27 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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I agree. Don't let ideology get in the way of fulfilling your needs. The odds that you will look at the world the same ten years from now as you do now are very unlikely. Go with the current. Get bonafide.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Shiithead] 1
#23982040 - 01/04/17 05:25 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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Quote:
Shiithead said: *Deleted*
 
Thanks Rackem and Doobie, that's helpful!
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
Edited by Tmethyl (01/04/17 08:42 PM)
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PreparationH
apply daily

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 5 hours, 51 minutes
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23982076 - 01/04/17 05:39 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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I was in the same boat, got a degree in the field I loved then the NCAA passed a rule severely limiting my career options. Tried to still force my way into the field only to be offered "A full time position where the budget can only afford to pay part time..."
That was the nail in the coffin and now I am working toward my RN which is a much more stable field. I've done a bunch of garbage jobs over the last year but I made more money working outside my field than in and at the end of the day, money pays the bills.
Go for the union job.
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
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My advice is not to take advice from people on a drug forum.
Do you have people who depend on you(i.e. kids)?
If no, then do what it takes to make yourself happy. I think the answer becomes pretty clear.
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badchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool] 2
#23982122 - 01/04/17 05:59 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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Basically, it's your ideology vs. financial comfort.
Most of us have had to suck it up at one point or another; it sounds like now may be the time.
-------------------- ...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge. It is an indellible experience; it is forever known. I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did. Smith, P. Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27. ...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely. Osmond, H. Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436
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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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Quote:
pirate-blues said: My advice is not to take advice from people on a drug forum.
Why not? There's lots of intelligent people here with plenty of life experience.
Quote:
pirate-blues said:
Do you have people who depend on you(i.e. kids)?
If no, then do what it takes to make yourself happy. I think the answer becomes pretty clear.
I don't have any kids. "Sucking it up" seems like the best plan, at least I'll be setting up for success.
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
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TGS
Pied Piper



Registered: 10/27/13
Posts: 318
Loc: Cloudbase
Last seen: 4 months, 1 day
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: badchad] 1
#23982169 - 01/04/17 06:25 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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I've found that when presented with a decision I go based on the vibe I get from the people involved. If the environment is good the location and the nature of the job are less important. Work is work. The last job I had was supposedly in a great field that went with my ideals and education but the reality was I could have taught a high schooler to do it. But the people were good so I rode that horse for all the cash I could squeeze out of it. It's run its course and the next opportunity is not in my dream field and not in an area where I wanted to live, but again the people involved are good so I'm taking it and will make the best of it. In my experience a "special" boss, and the world is full of them, can make your life a living hell. Good luck in your next step.
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: TGS]
#23982383 - 01/04/17 07:49 PM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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You make a good point - I just found it ironic because you titled your thread 'life decision advice' and thought it was funny.
Anyways,
Suck it up? At what cost?
Your happiness?
You may not get another chance to pursue an opportunity like this later on in life, it seems like you could set yourself up for success and happiness by disrupting your life and following this opportunity - change can certainly be scary, and it's a risk, but if you don't change now then when and why not?
Because if and when you do have kids, a spouse or long term partner of some kind...it's gonna be a lot fucking harder to pursue a change, even if you're totally burnt out.
I'm speaking as someone who has very recently made a complete career switch - granted I was lucky enough that I was able to do it in the same area(geographically) that I was already in,
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 3 hours, 26 minutes
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Go with the option you have not tried yet
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23982815 - 01/04/17 11:23 PM (7 years, 25 days ago) |
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What is it about the industry that you dont particularly agree with?..
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool] 1
#23982938 - 01/05/17 01:14 AM (7 years, 25 days ago) |
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It depends on how against your ideals it is, there is a line I wouldnt cross for anything, but I would compromise to a degree.
Like working in oil, I dislike the idea, but I drive anyways and theres good work in oil On the other hand you couldnt pay me enough to work with the DEA
There's a balance, and any compromise would be temporary for me
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 1 hour, 19 minutes
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Seriously OP I think you are a tad foolish if the only reason you won't take a union job with great benefits, higher wages,sick days,vacation days, certain lunch breaks. Furthermore a guarantee. for as long as you work there is because you don't like the industry it must be a pretty bad industry. Medical insurance out of pocket is through the roof. Everything from ambulance rides,brief hospitalization, antibiotics, inhalers . All those are extremely expensive without money for health insurance is crazy expensive
The 2nd degree you aren't to stoked about getting sounds like a geat option and you already worked for one degree . If you don't like it all and it makes you miserable don't do it . However that would most likely have benefits.
The truth is not tons of jobs are fun. If it pays well though I feel like it's worth it. Also it's not like you're losing any individuality or you can't have happiness because of it. Thats with school and that union job. I'm just telling you what I'd do.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,360
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 54 minutes
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Quote:
pirate-blues said: My advice is not to take advice from people on a drug forum.
Do you have people who depend on you(i.e. kids)?
If no, then do what it takes to make yourself happy. I think the answer becomes pretty clear.
dont be so quick to judge your drugged-out allumni.
My advice is to take the job offer, sell out your ideals and pay back osme of your debt. After a year or two, u can always move back to your original happy city and try to find work there.
I know what its like to have debt, it sucks. Im working on paying my back this year.
Getting your debt lowered makes life feel easier IMO.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
My advice is to take the job offer, sell out your ideals and pay back osme of your debt.
So if you were offered a sweet gig in the boncentration bamps, complete with benefits and free sex slave, you would take it on a temporary basis?
What about the children? What about Pearl Harbor and the Rape of Belgium?
I hear Daesh is hiring, their benefit package comes complete with 4 goats and 70 something virgins
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
My advice is to take the job offer, sell out your ideals and pay back osme of your debt.
So if you were offered a sweet gig in the boncentration bamps, complete with benefits and free sex slave, you would take it on a temporary basis?
What about the children? What about Pearl Harbor and the Rape of Belgium?
I hear Daesh is hiring, their benefit package comes complete with 4 goats and 70 something virgins
Who is talking about boncentration bamps?
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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They have a pretty sweet benefits package
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Sorry Tim and op for being so rude. What I meant to say was you should take a trip down Lake Shore Drive to clear your mind.
--------------------
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 11 hours, 9 minutes
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Shiithead]
#23983658 - 01/05/17 11:25 AM (7 years, 25 days ago) |
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OP you need to sacrifice for the next few years. Get that job. Bank all the cash you can until you've saved 10k. From there you'll can reconsider your life. Until then you are its bitch.
--------------------
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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: zZZz]
#23984677 - 01/05/17 05:50 PM (7 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said: What is it about the industry that you dont particularly agree with?..
I'd be building devices to make the world safer 
Thanks for the replies, it's all helpful. I'm going to get the ball rolling and may update later on.
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23984916 - 01/05/17 07:18 PM (7 years, 25 days ago) |
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How could you?? That's horrible! lol
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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I'm being kind of sarcastic and am little too paranoid to give any details about the prospective job.
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23985318 - 01/05/17 09:57 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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I understand man. I think you're making the right decision.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,360
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 54 minutes
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Patlal]
#23985501 - 01/05/17 11:33 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: OP you need to sacrifice for the next few years. Get that job. Bank all the cash you can until you've saved 10k. From there you'll can reconsider your life. Until then you are its bitch.
Patlal does make a brutally-honest point....
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LSDollar


Registered: 02/09/15
Posts: 2,361
Loc: Up Up and Away
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Roll with your degree my man. My sister went to college 5 years. She has one class and she can be a fucking cop. You wanna know what? She doesnt even have a job close to her field! I could get a job right now where she works without a single day of extra education.
IMO if you go to college for something and get a degree, go with it. Make that money my man, it may not be what you like doing at the time but it could be damn good money.
Ive made some life decisions the last couple months too. Ive let one of my friends of 10 years go. Tell him I am coming to town a half dozen times the last few months. The most I have gotten is a "sup". I reply, and cant even give me a time of day to reply back, even though he literally sent me the text 30 seconds before that. Im not sure, its like he wants to "keep in touch" but when I come to town to see him even if its just hanging for a hour, he can't even have the time of day to say hes a little busy.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: LSDollar]
#23985956 - 01/06/17 08:18 AM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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You can do both. You can take the jobs and still look for jobs in your industry. They'll be more likely to hire you if you already have a job.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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blackdragon999
Mason


Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 202
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23985990 - 01/06/17 08:32 AM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
Bikerfool said: Hi Shroomery Folks,
I'm at a crossroads and am thinking about making a big life change. In times like this I've found it useful to consu............
Which country do you live in?
--------------------

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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 3 months, 28 days
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23986433 - 01/06/17 12:28 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
to an industry I don't believe in
You sure you are not a millennial? Work is work bro, get packing
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 11 hours, 9 minutes
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23986461 - 01/06/17 12:45 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
Bikerfool said:
Quote:
zZZz said: What is it about the industry that you dont particularly agree with?..
I'd be building devices to make the world safer 
Thanks for the replies, it's all helpful. I'm going to get the ball rolling and may update later on.
So building guns?
--------------------
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
Tripsurfer said:
Quote:
to an industry I don't believe in
You sure you are not a millennial? Work is work bro, get packing
So millenials are more principled than older generations? That would explain the drop in crime and violence
Millenial: 18-35 years old
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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No, they aren't more principled than other generations. They're just young and don't understand anything about life yet.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Or maybe they understand a little too much..
U know, back in the days peeps just used to go to war and never said anything, now peeps know the business for the most part and they want out.. Cant do it no more, cant kill, cant lie, cant steal..
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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People havent changed for better or worse, half the guys going on about millenials are millenials anyways
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PatrickKn


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,563
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said: half the guys going on about millenials are millenials anyways
Shhh, don't tell them that.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: zZZz] 1
#23987088 - 01/06/17 04:55 PM (7 years, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said: Or maybe they understand a little too much..
U know, back in the days peeps just used to go to war and never said anything, now peeps know the business for the most part and they want out.. Cant do it no more, cant kill, cant lie, cant steal..
And they are arrogant about their ignorance.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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If thats so who do think they got it from?, baby boomers were, and still are, chalk full of arrogance and ignorance..
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
Senor_Doobie said:
Quote:
zZZz said: Or maybe they understand a little too much..
U know, back in the days peeps just used to go to war and never said anything, now peeps know the business for the most part and they want out.. Cant do it no more, cant kill, cant lie, cant steal..
And they are arrogant about their ignorance.
Irony.
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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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Quote:
said:
Quote:
to an industry I don't believe in
You sure you are not a millennial? Work is work bro, get packing
I understand that beggers can't be choosers but I don't believe that "work is work."
Having a job that has a purpose you believe in and makes you feel fullfilled isn't the same as doing something you could care less about.
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
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Ahab McBathsalts
OTD Windmill Administrator




Registered: 11/25/02
Posts: 35,109
Loc: Wind Turbine, AB
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23987805 - 01/06/17 09:13 PM (7 years, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
April 22, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City
Dear Hume,
You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal—to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.
I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.
"To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles... " (Shakespeare)
And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you've ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don't see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect—between the two things I've mentioned: the floating or the swimming.
But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he's not after the "big rock candy mountain," the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?
The answer—and, in a sense, the tragedy of life—is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It's not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.
So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?
The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on "the meaning of man" and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term "god only knows" purely as an expression.) There's very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I'm the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.
I'm going to steer clear of the word "existentialism," but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing called Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre. These are merely suggestions. If you're genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you're doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.
But don't misunderstand me. I don't mean that we can't BE firemen, bankers, or doctors—but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires—including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.
As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal) he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).
In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life—the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.
Let's assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let's assume that you can't see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN—and here is the essence of all I've said—you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.
Naturally, it isn't as easy as it sounds. You've lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn't any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.
So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, "I don't know where to look; I don't know what to look for."
And there's the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don't know—is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.
If I don't call this to a halt, I'm going to find myself writing a book. I hope it's not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it's pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo—this merely happens to be mine.
If any part of it doesn't seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I'm not trying to send you out "on the road" in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that—no one HAS to do something he doesn't want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that's what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You'll have lots of company.
And that's it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,
your friend ... Hunter
-------------------- "Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's going to die."
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 3 months, 28 days
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Re: Life Decision Advice [Re: Bikerfool]
#23988558 - 01/07/17 05:03 AM (7 years, 23 days ago) |
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The difference is huge indeed. I just think that in your current list of priorities that one should at the bottom somewhere.
I can think of only a few people I know personally that do a certain work because they "believe in the industry". Those can be divided in craftspeople and instructors of some kind. Without exception they are struggling financially
You think the people working behind counters, fixing the road, delivery-chauffeurs and so on do those things for the love? You gotta do what you gotta do.
Set yourself goals and work towards them, life is about making compromises
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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