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OfflineWarrior_Monk
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Registered: 12/27/16
Posts: 28
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Let's just have a good t...oh shit vacuity came
    #23975336 - 01/02/17 08:20 AM (7 years, 28 days ago)

jesus crhist
what a trip I had
I have to start studying really hard from today for 3 weeks or so, so I decided to have a mini trip to say goodbye to drugs until I finish
I didn't have anything serious plaanned, I just took my smallest dose so far, 2g, and smoked half a green joint
nothing was happening, so I got bored, said goodbye and went to bed
then BUM I was caught in a loop contemplating vacuity and how fragile and small our egos are
I was convinced the only way out of that was vacuity, but I didn't want to stop having an ego, so it was kind of a bad trip
I was trying to be brave and accept vacuity and our life as it is, but it got too hard and I started to feel really really bad. After some time lying in my bed without knowing what to do but to feel miserable, I remembered I was me (probably this was the come down)
I managed to get up from bed, drink some water, and recompose myself on the living room whilst watching some shitty music videos that were on
and I was thinking about doing a mckenna style trip :smile:
I will do it though, when the exams are over, I might not like vacuity, but fuck it, that's what it is, I'm on this path for liberation, not for funny visuals

Some realizations, visions, funny stuff:
-you see, I have learned this from shrooms. We all feel abandoned and alone a lot of times .I mean, your circumstances might be harder than average or not but, we all feel that way many times. Yesterday on my bed I was thinking: what are we waiting for? this is all there is, nothing more, we expect something better to come like if I am rich I will be happier; I will treat my family with trips and beautiful things and they will love me even more.
so I pictured myself as that guy and I understood that guy feels the same way and then I said, if I get a into a serious relationship I will feel secure again
but then I looked back at the times where I was into a gf-bf dynamic
and sure, warm bodies at night are comfy, but I felt alone many times too
:frowning: kind of sad, but well, it helps to understand that everybody feels like this sometimes.
-I had these images of a lot of people going on with their lives
and I went to them and said "hey, do you know that behind all of this there is vacuity?". and they look at me and say "yes, but don't spoil it, shut up and let me live"
and I was like wow, so people know this???? I mean, we all know what there is, but we bury it. and there were these other people, the "Liberated" or "illuminated" and they knew it too, they were completely aware of it, but they didn't tell anyone so if you asked them, they would say something along these lines "well, yes, that's the joke"
- As I was recomposing me back in the couch I took a blanket so I was warm, and wow, that thing was alive, I could see the hair moving and the blanket breathing :teareally:


A really good trip after all :grin: it was intense and hard but now I feel it was so worth it. I love shrooms  :letyourspiritsoar:


--------------------
This is how you know if I'm tripping:mushroom2::
"what?"
"hey hey hey you got to do this"
"what?"


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OfflineDuncan Rowhl
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Re: Let's just have a good t...oh shit vacuity came [Re: Warrior_Monk]
    #23976526 - 01/02/17 03:31 PM (7 years, 28 days ago)

I came to realise that a large majority of 'unenlightened' people seem to endure the upkeep of distraction.  The distraction is always desire, a wanting for money, the car, the holiday, the partner - more of it, or an upgrade. It's a constant reach, a perpetual anxiety.

I can see where people seemingly bank their perceived 'assets', which they assume to express covertly.

The distractions are in place, so that the mind is kept rolling beyond the stillness of where the truth is present.  The truth is the taboo, feared by the ego which urges man on to desire the brick and mortar home in contrast to his true spiritual abode. 

Although there's a sadness when people's supposed assets are revealed, it poses the notion that the entire purpose of the Earthly plain is for the soul to comprehend, in time, that the material yearnings are born purely out of error.

The 'hobby' then would be regarded as an undertaking far from casual.

If we close on life with this yearning still interred in our bones, we can be sure that the great vendor of life will serve us again exactly what we need to learn eventually that those ways are not the way.

I ask myself if having a child is actually a way of experiencing 'fathership', or if it's actually subciousness planting of oneself as a deposit into the ground to where they wish to return.


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OfflineWarrior_Monk
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Registered: 12/27/16
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Re: Let's just have a good t...oh shit vacuity came [Re: Duncan Rowhl]
    #23976643 - 01/02/17 04:19 PM (7 years, 28 days ago)

Quote:

Duncan Rowhl said:
I came to realise that a large majority of 'unenlightened' people seem to endure the upkeep of distraction.  The distraction is always desire, a wanting for money, the car, the holiday, the partner - more of it, or an upgrade. It's a constant reach, a perpetual anxiety.

I can see where people seemingly bank their perceived 'assets', which they assume to express covertly.

The distractions are in place, so that the mind is kept rolling beyond the stillness of where the truth is present.  The truth is the taboo, feared by the ego which urges man on to desire the brick and mortar home in contrast to his true spiritual abode. 

Although there's a sadness when people's supposed assets are revealed, it poses the notion that the entire purpose of the Earthly plain is for the soul to comprehend, in time, that the material yearnings are born purely out of error.

The 'hobby' then would be regarded as an undertaking far from casual.

If we close on life with this yearning still interred in our bones, we can be sure that the great vendor of life will serve us again exactly what we need to learn eventually that those ways are not the way.

I ask myself if having a child is actually a way of experiencing 'fathership', or if it's actually subciousness planting of oneself as a deposit into the ground to where they wish to return.



Yes, this I understand on an intellectual level, but I seem unable to accept it, or to understand it on deep level (is there a way to express this difference in english? in spanish we have entender (understand) vs comprender(that deepder understanding)).
How can I work on this? I'm working on meditation and trying to live a more taoist lifestyle...but this is hard.
Thank you very much Duncan!


--------------------
This is how you know if I'm tripping:mushroom2::
"what?"
"hey hey hey you got to do this"
"what?"


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OfflineDuncan Rowhl
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Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 2,659
Loc: UK Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Let's just have a good t...oh shit vacuity came [Re: Warrior_Monk] * 1
    #23977436 - 01/02/17 09:55 PM (7 years, 28 days ago)

Intellectually and 'literally'? :wink:

I adopted a minimalistic lifestyle which didn't really manifest as a result of forced efforts, but results that just came about as a consequence of the alternative feeling uncomfortable.  If I've got too much of any kind of object for example, I don't feel like I'm in the prime heightened state of awareness unless I whittle down.  I don't favour a packed refrigerator any more than I do a cupboard full of clothes.

Overall, it's been quite interesting in the past 15 years watching as people rate and grade each other upon what material objects they have acquired, which I assume in their eyes, merits their social status.  What I've found is, with lesser concern of the them, the more you put into the world, the more you can come to be rewarded - should you choose to accept or not. This is the flow of Tao.  You live by what you need and focus on outward efforts.

People have a concern of what might be said of them when they die - what might be 'written on their gravestone', so some will do their last minute efforts near the end of life in a bid to segue out smoothly, but the time is now.  We are shaping moments by our own input on a vast level. Those who thrive from the principle will never be seen to disagree, :thumbup:


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