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InvisibleMojo
Stranger

Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 1,676
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23980652 - 01/04/17 06:31 AM (7 years, 26 days ago)

You are acting like you both were in a relationship or something, but it doesn't sound like you were  And by the way, you are treating her just as bad now as she was treating you; so its going to be hard do play the more holier-than-thou card.

Why is everyone so quick to boot people you care about out of your lives? People grow up, and change over time, why be so quick to make forever-decisions over these minor dramas?

And why cast her out of her life before offering her a chance to explain herself?  Maybe she was going through some serious shit when she blew you off.  And yea, she probably didn't handle herself right but neither are you, right now; so isn't that forgivable?

If I was in your shoe's I would say something to the effect of, "Hey, you have been such an unreliable friend to me over the past year that I don't know what to think about you reaching out to me, whats going on with you?"

Behavior can usually be rationalized if you dig deep.  And your friendship could become a lot stronger if you become aware of her struggles. 

Do what your going to do, I just wanted to offer a counter perspective among the onslaught of "Fuk Dat Bitch" that gets pounded into people's head on this website.,


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OfflineChakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Mojo]
    #23981040 - 01/04/17 10:35 AM (7 years, 26 days ago)

It's nothing like 'fuk da bitch', I do care about her and I'm not trying to hurt her feelings.

I don't know if I'm handling this situation correctly or not, I could probably be way more chill about it. All things considered, I would still be her friend and hang out with her, but I've just begun a new relationship and I want to focus on that, while simultaneously letting go of those months of drama and intrigue.

I believe in her and she's a very cool person when you just analyze the kind of things she's into, but she just treated me poorly and toyed with my emotions. Her actions depicted a different kind of person than her words. It's water under the bridge but that doesn't mean I want to go putting myself right back into the drama.

edit: I appreciate your perspective though, it's good to hear that side of things too.


Edited by Chakra Shock (01/04/17 10:38 AM)


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OfflineChakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23984183 - 01/05/17 03:18 PM (7 years, 25 days ago)

Quote:

Rosen_Rot said:
Awesome update us on what the response is :shineon:




She was kind of angry, I suppose? She said I was 'projecting all of my emotions' onto her, as if to say there could be no emotional context or response to her proposal of seeing me and giving me a gift. Classic manipulation to gain some non-existent upper hand.

Then, she also said I should stop being so judgmental and just tell her whether or not I still had a particular item of hers at my house, which I had failed to actually tell her that I did not have because she had asked me that very question a month ago and I really didn't think she would have forgotten that.

Overall, it was pretty unpleasant and she wasn't curious in the slightest as to why I felt the way I did, or have anything to say whatsoever about the broader scope of our friendship. If there was any shred of genuine caring for me in her she probably would have asked me why I felt the way I do, or something, anything, to see if there was a positive way to reconnect. Instead, she just tried to make me feel terrible for having natural, human emotions and expressing them. Sheesh...


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OfflinePsilosoulful
Registered: 09/05/14
Posts: 7,205
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Chakra Shock] * 2
    #23984323 - 01/05/17 04:04 PM (7 years, 25 days ago)

Quote:

Chakra Shock said:
Quote:

Rosen_Rot said:
Awesome update us on what the response is :shineon:




She was kind of angry, I suppose? She said I was 'projecting all of my emotions' onto her, as if to say there could be no emotional context or response to her proposal of seeing me and giving me a gift. Classic manipulation to gain some non-existent upper hand.

Then, she also said I should stop being so judgmental and just tell her whether or not I still had a particular item of hers at my house, which I had failed to actually tell her that I did not have because she had asked me that very question a month ago and I really didn't think she would have forgotten that.

Overall, it was pretty unpleasant and she wasn't curious in the slightest as to why I felt the way I did, or have anything to say whatsoever about the broader scope of our friendship. If there was any shred of genuine caring for me in her she probably would have asked me why I felt the way I do, or something, anything, to see if there was a positive way to reconnect. Instead, she just tried to make me feel terrible for having natural, human emotions and expressing them. Sheesh...



Sounds like a complete beotch. Block her number and move on. Plenty more fish in the sea and you have a lot to offer. Good luck to you my friend :smile:


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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
I'm a teapot


Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 22 days
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Chakra Shock] * 1
    #23986397 - 01/06/17 12:03 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

wow

she didn't get her way and twisted it to save pride and face

At least her true colors came out and now you don't have to worry about what to do anymore

You did good and it was a faster way to deal with things by just being honest

Good for you man :shineon:


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

SBJs "The Basics"
3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak"
B+ BONANZA

   


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OfflineChakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23986805 - 01/06/17 03:15 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

It was disappointing to see her acting like that: with zero effort for real communication, but it's a relief to be done with the whole thing, especially knowing the kind of attitude she really has towards me.

Thanks for the advice and support! :sun:

In other news, things are going really well with the girl I met at my job. She and I are finding out that we have a lot in common and I just feel grateful to have met her. I don't want to say too much, life has proven to be rather unpredictable for me as of late, but it seems like a really good thing that we've got going.


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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
I'm a teapot


Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 22 days
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Chakra Shock]
    #23988472 - 01/07/17 03:10 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Meh lots of things in life are disappointing, people change and are not always what they seem to be. It's the process of life I suppose. A plant will get light one day and darkness the next, shit happens and it must be a lot better than second guessing yourself over thoughts that obviously you two did share or were on the same page. In the long run, if she decides to ever think about it and you, she will look on you with respect further down the line

Hey, at least you have a new girl to focus on and are hitting it off :shineon: Focus your energy on her if she makes you feel good and see where this new road will lead

better than me,

I'm still carrying baggage 10months after the break up and haven't even came close to meeting a girl whom I can share myself with, not even casual sex so yea there are worse things in life :lol:


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

SBJs "The Basics"
3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak"
B+ BONANZA

   


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OfflinePsilosoulful
Registered: 09/05/14
Posts: 7,205
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: Quick question - need some advice. [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23988487 - 01/07/17 03:31 AM (7 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

Rosen_Rot said:
I'm still carrying baggage 10months after the break up and haven't even came close to meeting a girl whom I can share myself with, not even casual sex so yea there are worse things in life :lol:



Go out to clubs and dance, you'll find lots of girls willing to engage in casual sex with you if you give off the right vibe...just be carefree and having fun,
then pull them back to your place, done :thumbup:


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