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InvisibleJust_A_Noob
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: c10h12n2o] * 1
    #24282112 - 04/29/17 05:30 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)



I confess I have to eat to do mycology stuff


--------------------

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Complying = Consent
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OfflinePsiloPsychIn
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Just_A_Noob] * 1
    #24282386 - 04/29/17 07:48 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

I confess - that looks really tasty!

True Confession: sometimes when I'm stressed out, rather than working to solve the problem or chip away at the pile of work... I just escape into a few hours of myco work. :smile:

MyCo Take Me Away!


--------------------
What are they saying? Listen carefully, it might be something you need to hear...





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Offlinegrowlingmycelium
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: PsiloPsychIn] * 1
    #24282412 - 04/29/17 07:56 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Trips to wallmart are some of my favorite pass time. You can always find a new container or something handy.

The tub isle though :mushroom2:


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InvisibleTheMadHatter420
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: growlingmycelium]
    #24282430 - 04/29/17 08:06 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

I confess I need more tubs!


--------------------
JOIN THE POW WOW


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OfflineWicked Burn
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: TheMadHatter420] * 2
    #24282459 - 04/29/17 08:16 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Confession: None of my friends like tripping on mushrooms, and I secretly judge them for it.


--------------------
Mr. Pink:  "Hey, why am I Mr. Pink?"
Joe:  "Because you're a faggot."
                                     
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Invisibleoontribe
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Wicked Burn]
    #24282548 - 04/29/17 09:07 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

I need more tubs and jars.

I do only one grow at a time, used to do three in the past.


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: oontribe] * 1
    #24282855 - 04/29/17 11:24 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

sometimes i wish i didnt grow mushrooms. or knew about tripping. i wish i were just as dumb
as everyone else and ignorant to everything. just ignorant bliss.

i wish i had more friends. i have none. i am married to the only friend i have ever had and
i have put her through hell with my drinking and other asshole-ish tendencies. i can never be
honest with anyone. ever. unless its about mushrooms. only when helping(or being an ass) other
people do i ever feel good. considering i dont drink anymore, i am having easy time not wanting it
but a horrible time trying to figure out if i am making the best decisions. my wife said that
i was victim blaming her in this story from her past.. she called me a misogynist... that might
be true based off some 'thoughts' i can have about women. some are troubling but its not like i
would ever act on them... or even let them escape my head.

i am a coward. i am afraid.  i am alone. i push people away. so i can say nobody cares when i finally need help?
one of the biggest things in my life is a fucking felony. and i could go to jail for tinkering with my own reality.
i could go to jail for trying to figure out if i am a good person or not.

sometimes i wish i never, ever went outside to talk to people. i used to be a huge loner.
i was invited to a basement to smoke some pot. i almost didnt go. i thought of every excuse. i even
faked getting lost/trying to find his house. ever since my life has changed.. but has it been good change?
how can my wife live with such a person? are my flaws outweighed by so called 'good traits' i possess?
i can cook. i can grow/make drugs. i can chill with cats.

what have i learned? after years of asking.. who am i? why am i? this puppet my wife sees... is it me?
is it some weird blend of what i childishly want to be vs painful reality? i feel so lonely sometimes.
i try to express how i feel with my wife but she doesnt get it. or her view of what i am saying is skewed
by my actions?

i feel so pathetic whining like a bitch on social media. but im pathetic for my actions so at least im balanced.

confession.. i dont know what to do. except keep growing more mushrooms. to what end? im not sure.


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OfflineLobi
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: mushboy]
    #24282867 - 04/29/17 11:33 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mushboy said:


what have i learned? after years of asking.. who am i? why am i? this puppet my wife sees... is it me?




This is important shit to ask yourself, brother. We mustn't look for definite answers because things are not solidified. The flower; like all of nature is forever moving towards growth and after reaching it's highest capacity of expression, dies.
Just experience life and feel that change flowing and ride the wave. Life isn't so complicated. Take care of your body. Take care of your wife and your emotional body, and keep your mind on good health.

Quote:

her view of what i am saying is skewed
by my actions?



No matter what we say we are what we DO.

Quote:

i feel so pathetic whining like a bitch on social media. but im pathetic for my actions so at least im balanced.





Nah homie it is ok. That's what community is for. We should all feel the capacity to express ourselves. We have that right. We cannot expect others to understand or even sympathize. But we can express ourselves to the best of our abilities and hope that others use empathy; reflect on the brotherhood of man, and show us compassion.


--------------------
The bonds and ties of the life we know break easily. But through eternity one bond remains; the bond of fellowship.
The fellowship of atoms,
of star dust in its endless flight, of suns and worlds,  of gods and men.
The clasped hands of comradeship unite in a bond eternal; the fellowship of spirit.

:mushroom2:My High Quality Lo-Fi Beats  -:mushroom2:MushroomCultivation Compendium  -:mushroom2:- Doing Bulk w/ No PC -:mushroom2:

:chillpill:more about my music :chillpill:


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Lobi]
    #24282876 - 04/29/17 11:37 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

lets hope.

im sober too. shits gettin deep.


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OfflineLobi
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: mushboy]
    #24282892 - 04/29/17 11:46 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

10 ways to chill the fuck

Stop worrying
Stop trying to control or dominate your relatives or others
Moderate ambition
Do not accumulate more than you need
Learn to relax
Cultivate a sense of humor
Find a reason for personal existence
Never intentionally harm another person or being
Beware of anger
Never blame others for our own mistakes

CULTIVATE INTEGRITY and integrity will cultivate you. Just like da mushies. Mush love brother and good night.


--------------------
The bonds and ties of the life we know break easily. But through eternity one bond remains; the bond of fellowship.
The fellowship of atoms,
of star dust in its endless flight, of suns and worlds,  of gods and men.
The clasped hands of comradeship unite in a bond eternal; the fellowship of spirit.

:mushroom2:My High Quality Lo-Fi Beats  -:mushroom2:MushroomCultivation Compendium  -:mushroom2:- Doing Bulk w/ No PC -:mushroom2:

:chillpill:more about my music :chillpill:


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Lobi]
    #24282897 - 04/29/17 11:49 PM (6 years, 8 months ago)

...i did throw a napkin at her.


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InvisibleInocuole
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: mushboy] * 1
    #24283015 - 04/30/17 01:09 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mushboy said:
...i did throw a napkin at her.




Goddamn monster..


--------------------
                            :rainbowdrink: Tea doesn't work?                            AMU  (Q & A)                  Grain prep for Intergalactic Space Oats :pes:     

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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Inocuole]
    #24283020 - 04/30/17 01:14 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

:angrymob:


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OfflineManifoldPrime
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Registered: 03/16/17
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: mushboy]
    #24283062 - 04/30/17 01:48 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mushboy said:

one of the biggest things in my life is a fucking felony. and i could go to jail for tinkering with my own reality.
i could go to jail for trying to figure out if i am a good person or not.





>TFW

I'm glad I'm not the only one who rages at this. Like fuck man, who am I really hurting here. The garden store/plastic shop that makes fat paper from all my purchase? I'm just trying to learn about nature/life in a odd way. I've tried growing plants, I tend to fail more than not. But mycology is so much more interesting to me, and I seem to have a knack for it.

I get to play scientist, I get to have something to work towards all week, I get to mellow out once I actually get to eat my product, and somehow this ABSOLUTELY deserves me being thrown in prison with rapists and murderers.
(on a related note, is it illegal to cultivate poisonous mushies like destroying angel? I would be appalled if I could cult Death caps in large quantities but not a single Cube.)

A lot of what you said resonated with me, as if I've had most of those thoughts multiple times in my life. I for one, am thankful psilocybin et al has given me such extraordinary reflective and introspective detail about myself. I know who and what I am now. My identity was fluid before but now I know me.

You are an impossibly cryptic combination of ideas , genetics and events and its only natural that you have to keep asking yourself questions and testing yourself before you can conceptualise who you are.


--------------------
My Magnum Opus:Thai Variety Comparison

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Invisibleamidogen
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: ManifoldPrime]
    #24283281 - 04/30/17 07:29 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

.


--------------------
The biggest trip of my life was realizing all of the events and actions described in posts made by this account were never real and had never actually happened, but were instead the delusional ramblings of a severely mentally ill human being. I just had to move on for my own good. I love you all.


Edited by amidogen (04/19/18 02:32 PM)


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: amidogen]
    #24283380 - 04/30/17 08:36 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

well i had a shitty night.

i just need to vent that out. main point of shit was i offended someone i love with
a rather narrow minded(or from their point of view) opinion on a touchy subject.

i think we all forget that mushrooms can connect certain things in our brains that
is difficult for most people to identify. so i guess i expect her not to be offended
by awful truths.

basically i said it was her fault for being 12 and having a screen name with '69' in it
and getting harrased by a weirdo.

my response is 'uhh your screen name was ____gril69, what did you expect?'

well this is victim blaming. blaming a 12yr old girl for being 'innocent' when its the weirdo
that needs to be blamed. which is true. however, i think thats dangerous.

the world is a sick, terrible place. and its 10000% wrong for anyone to have to change
what they want to do because someone is going to prey on them. but thats kind of a naive
way to view things. he shouldnt so therefor i should?

i dunno. and that friends... led to me being dragged through it about what a piece of shit i am.

oh well.
i hate doing dishes..

but i loooove fresh media.


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OfflineOrganic_Magic
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: ManifoldPrime] * 1
    #24283778 - 04/30/17 11:23 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ManifoldPrime said:
Quote:

mushboy said:

one of the biggest things in my life is a fucking felony. and i could go to jail for tinkering with my own reality.
i could go to jail for trying to figure out if i am a good person or not.





>TFW

I'm glad I'm not the only one who rages at this. Like fuck man, who am I really hurting here. The garden store/plastic shop that makes fat paper from all my purchase? I'm just trying to learn about nature/life in a odd way. I've tried growing plants, I tend to fail more than not. But mycology is so much more interesting to me, and I seem to have a knack for it.

I get to play scientist, I get to have something to work towards all week, I get to mellow out once I actually get to eat my product, and somehow this ABSOLUTELY deserves me being thrown in prison with rapists and murderers.
(on a related note, is it illegal to cultivate poisonous mushies like destroying angel? I would be appalled if I could cult Death caps in large quantities but not a single Cube.)

A lot of what you said resonated with me, as if I've had most of those thoughts multiple times in my life. I for one, am thankful psilocybin et al has given me such extraordinary reflective and introspective detail about myself. I know who and what I am now. My identity was fluid before but now I know me.

You are an impossibly cryptic combination of ideas , genetics and events and its only natural that you have to keep asking yourself questions and testing yourself before you can conceptualise who you are.




This bothers me on a weird level. I was just talking to my wife about how much I enjoy growing mushrooms and the happiness it brings me. I have a lot of hobbies. I bog myself down with them actually. Aquariums, gardening, dog training, mycology, wife lol. It annoys me that when the guy at home depot asks "what kind of project you got going?" when I'm buying five totes and a cart full of coir I have to come up with some fake bullshit instead of saying I'm a magic mushroom grower with pride. I cant tell my buddies at work what i did Saturday because I was spawning 20 quarts of psilocybe cubensis to monotubs. I have to keep a hobby that I'm passionate about to myself even though I would love to educate people about it. Society sees me as a scary dangerous producer of an illicit drug. What. The. Fuck.


--------------------
:pipesmoke:Its all fun and games until mushrooms make you gay:pipesmoke:




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InvisibleJust_A_Noob
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Organic_Magic]
    #24283795 - 04/30/17 11:26 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

I realize there are pure and great men that break the law, likewise, there are evil predators who are protected by it...  I kinda feel like a robin hood, sorta, just instead of money, its spirituality


--------------------

Wearing a mask is bad for my physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
Complying = Consent
Wide Mouth 1/2 Pint No-Pour TEK
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Invisibleoontribe
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: Just_A_Noob]
    #24283830 - 04/30/17 11:34 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

Lol


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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS - of an amateur mycologist [Re: oontribe]
    #24283907 - 04/30/17 11:58 AM (6 years, 8 months ago)

after my huge explosive fight.. about a really serious topic, no doubt! she sent a email explaining
why she is right, and i sent one back. we do this as a way to communicate without taking cheap shots.. we are pros at that :wink:

anyway this morning she asks where i am coming from with my opinion. i had been up all night so i had
a much better idea of how to express what i was feelings.

it boils down to 'how do we(society) control irrational behavior in other people'(violence, sexual assault ect.)

how do you protect the innocent. her point is you shouldnt even have too. the irrational ones are at fault.
this is the 'she was asking for it' context of sexual crimes. true. a girl should be able to be naked without
having some fucking freaking who is unable to control themselves fucking with you. its sick and wrong.

my point was, yah thats true. but before you can make that claim you have to protect yourself.

when i expressed this it came across as victim blaming when that was faaarrrr from my point.
someone has to 'look over' the innocent. because this isnt a fairy tale. the world is filled with monsters
and YOU(and then extension your children) must protect themselves the best way they can.

but she thinks that feeds the 'rape culture'. which might be true... but you still need to protect yourself.
BUT she sees and understands what i am saying. this is why i love my wife. understanding.

confession: i use mushrooms to help protect myself. they foster within me the desire to learn, understand, grow and also conquer ignorance/evil.

THANKS FOR NOT FLAMING ME for derailing this. i seem to do it now and then with bong cleaning and whatnot..
but i need somewhere to share/vent.and like i said. i have no friends. i only have my wife, my cats and shroomery.
if i put this in the pub it would be a cluster fuck of shitty dicks and the spirit forum is too full of wishy washy shit sometimes.
:thaaannks:


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