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InvisibleDustyBottoms
 User Gallery


Registered: 11/07/14
Posts: 3,071
Loc: TheUnderbelly
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Kush_Zombie]
    #23944502 - 12/20/16 07:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Kush_Zombie said:
Also, the quickfix comes with a heatpad that keeps the urine at the proper temp for 8 hours. Also ph balanced and all that other good shit.




Maybe he can get his hands on the kit for the heating pad.  But I would prefer he uses someone else's piss and not synthetic


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: DustyBottoms] * 3
    #23944504 - 12/20/16 07:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

The best method Ive heard is to do so much drugs you break the drug test, you have to get a positive on every substance it tests for, saturate the blood stream with drugs


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InvisibleDustyBottoms
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Registered: 11/07/14
Posts: 3,071
Loc: TheUnderbelly
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: TheScientificMethod]
    #23944507 - 12/20/16 07:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

TheScientificMethod said:
Roommate texted me back.

He said that *he* never tested temperature because he was working in the lab, but that they always test the temperature at the time of collection. I asked him if they always test temp and he said yes. I asked what you can do about that if you're using synthetic or someone else's' piss and he said that you can just microwave it "at a gas station" (not sure why he added that part???) and then tape it to your leg for awhile. The microwave will get it up to temperature and keeping it taped to your leg will keep it close to body temperature.

Good luck soldier. May the force be with you.

P.S. I do not give a fuck about Star Wars, did not see the new movie, and literally haven't watched any movies in the last three years. That still felt appropriate to say though.




Thanks for reaching out to him.  I'll pass this info along.  My bro found some shit online that says most drug tests allow for a 2-3 degree variance on both sides of 98.6...that's an awfully tight window to go microwave and then follow it up with it taped to your leg.

BUT....we're talking about trying to pass a drug test by cheating it.  Nothing is foolproof other than beating it legit which I'm trying to get my brother to accept.


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InvisibleKush_Zombie
smug piece of shit
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Registered: 10/22/14
Posts: 4,793
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Repertoire89]
    #23944513 - 12/20/16 07:59 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:wonka:


--------------------
How to get started in bulk:
Presto 23-Quart Pressure Cooker
BOD's Simple as FUCK Still Air Box
PastyWhyte's Easy Agar Tek
Munchauzen's Cultivation Video Series
How EvilMushroom666 Prepares His Grains (I use jars with Synthetic Filter Discs)
What is G2G? (Grain-to-Grain)
Damion5050's Coir Tek (I use 5.5 - 6 quarts of water instead of 4. Also ignore step 13 and ignore the monotub completely. The only purpose of this tek is to show you how to make a simple substrate. I also add gypsum to it but not necessary)
Spitball's Monotub Tek (A liner isn't necessary but is useful)
Use 6500k lights throughout the whole process. When you wake up, turn the light on. When you go to sleep turn the light off. It's as simple as that.


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Offlinekeyser_soze
Truth Bomber
Registered: 03/04/16
Posts: 1,417
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: TheScientificMethod]
    #23944515 - 12/20/16 08:01 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

TheScientificMethod said:
2) They can't tell your employeer. It's the policy to air in the favor of the client, and not the employeer.





i would read the fine print.


after all, his employer is the client in this situation.

if anything he would have to retake the test.


--------------------
People in my Fan Club: Masked (President), Ballsalsa (VP), The Ecstatic*don't waste your time "debating" with him, he uses 3rd grader tactics (Director of Bullshit), Koods (Fake News Anchorman), Falcon - Devout Communist

*Word your posts carefully if they contain right wing values. The moderators here like to keep it left leaning, they will use every excuse to ban you but not the others. You've been warned.


Edited by keyser_soze (12/20/16 08:03 PM)


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InvisibleChemicalSpark


Registered: 10/08/15
Posts: 2,057
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Kush_Zombie] * 1
    #23944519 - 12/20/16 08:01 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

.


Edited by ChemicalSpark (03/23/20 09:31 PM)


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InvisibleKush_Zombie
smug piece of shit
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/22/14
Posts: 4,793
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: ChemicalSpark]
    #23944524 - 12/20/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ChemicalSpark said:
Fake pee only passes the dipstick panel tests. If they send it to a lab for analysis then you will still fail because they can tell that it's fake. It happened to me once when applying for a job.

The next time I had to test for employment I just asked a clean friend to pee in the container that came with the fake urine kit. That worked like a charm. You can strap it to your leg and wear it for awhile so it'll be at body temp.



Read about the quickfix. Not all synthetic urines are the same


--------------------
How to get started in bulk:
Presto 23-Quart Pressure Cooker
BOD's Simple as FUCK Still Air Box
PastyWhyte's Easy Agar Tek
Munchauzen's Cultivation Video Series
How EvilMushroom666 Prepares His Grains (I use jars with Synthetic Filter Discs)
What is G2G? (Grain-to-Grain)
Damion5050's Coir Tek (I use 5.5 - 6 quarts of water instead of 4. Also ignore step 13 and ignore the monotub completely. The only purpose of this tek is to show you how to make a simple substrate. I also add gypsum to it but not necessary)
Spitball's Monotub Tek (A liner isn't necessary but is useful)
Use 6500k lights throughout the whole process. When you wake up, turn the light on. When you go to sleep turn the light off. It's as simple as that.


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OfflineTheScientificMethod
Psychonautic Explorer & Writer
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/14
Posts: 632
Loc: USA
Last seen: 22 days, 3 hours
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: keyser_soze]
    #23944565 - 12/20/16 08:30 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

keyser_soze said:
Quote:

TheScientificMethod said:
2) They can't tell your employeer. It's the policy to air in the favor of the client, and not the employeer.





i would read the fine print.


after all, his employer is the client in this situation.

if anything he would have to retake the test.




By "client" I meant the "person being tested." Poor choice of words on my part. I suppose that every lab is different, but he has a pretty good knowledge of the industry. They air in the favor of the person whose piss is being tested if there is ever a question. Or at least thats how things worked where he was employed.


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OfflineEasyriding123
Extra ordinary
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Registered: 02/25/16
Posts: 744
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Kush_Zombie]
    #23944566 - 12/20/16 08:31 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quick fix plus is what I used also.  Comes with a temperature strip and a heating pad to keep template consistent while waiting in the lobby.  I used it for a good job and it worked well.


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Invisiblesh4d0ws
LSx
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 12,086
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: SonicTitan]
    #23944569 - 12/20/16 08:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

SonicTitan said:
They can tell when you use masking devises. Really just time and exercise, but even then when you burn more fat the chances of THC showing up in urine can be increased. It all depends on how much he smokes too.





Not if you use synthetic urine. If its not a probation test (not monitored) your best bet really is using synthetic urine.

It's gotten me jobs! And these are places that lab test the urine too, not just dip sticks. Make sure you get the up to date urine. I used the newest version of quickfix everytime, it always worked.


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OfflineSporepoise
fungal cetacean


Registered: 02/21/16
Posts: 264
Last seen: 8 months, 9 days
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: sh4d0ws]
    #23944608 - 12/20/16 08:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have had quite a few experiences with drug testing without any positive results yet. My friends have also used the same method and have had success. I cant say that its always going  to help you pass but from my experience it helps. Go to walmart and get some sure jell fruit pectin and a large bottle of gatorade. Mix the two and drink three hours before your test followed by at most a gallon of water. You don't want to drink too much water. It is possible for you to die this way or get sick.

Im not completely sure how the fruit pectin helps and I cannot give you a scientific explanation but from what I read it coats your stomach and the water you drink afterwards pretty much goes through you without picking up much thc. Watering your piss down also helps. Hope this helps you out man fuck drug test.


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Edited by Sporepoise (12/20/16 09:00 PM)


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Sporepoise]
    #23944635 - 12/20/16 09:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Ive never failed a piss test using one of those drinks you take an hr or 2 before

Thats my go to, but for something important one should obviously go sober
Substituting piss probably works better, but Ive never really had much at stake where a $15 drink wasnt a reasonable investment


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Sporepoise]
    #23944637 - 12/20/16 09:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Is it for a job, or LEO?

If it's LEO, then you might be fucked because they stare at your pecker while you pee in a cup, at least that has been my glorious experience with them so no faking there.

If it's a job you could get some urine from a friend who's clean, fill up a large sized condom with it and strap some heating pads around it, get condoms that aren't lubed though, that way they aren't funky feeling.  I used the warm condom method, took the condom out from the heating pads I had wrapped around it before I went into the place, when I put the urine in the cup it was right above 97 degrees, and I think only has to be 96 and above to be legit.  Oh yeah, I had tapped it near my crotch before going in the place, and wore some tight undies to keep everything snug.


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©️


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Offlineweirdguy32
OTD shitstain
Male

Registered: 01/25/15
Posts: 4,397
Loc: Spicemaster SC
Last seen: 20 hours, 34 minutes
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Lucis]
    #23944747 - 12/20/16 09:53 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

actually you don't even need the heating pad that comes with the Quick Fix. I've experimented plenty with an outdated version of the QF. For example I duct tape it (yes duct tape) to on my inner thigh right beneath my ball sack near the taint and literally did nothing for 8 hours after(sat in a chair watching tv and after the 8 hours the temp was 94 degrees. Also have done the same thing and did some activity(run errands, exercise and again after 8 hours temp was about 96)


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: DustyBottoms]
    #23944873 - 12/20/16 10:53 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DustyBottoms said:
My brother needs to take a drug test in the next week or two.  He thinks it's going to be a piss test.  He smoked weed as recently as yesterday.

What's his best option?





um... dont use drugs...


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InvisibleLSDollar
Trans-female

Registered: 02/09/15
Posts: 2,361
Loc: Up Up and Away Flag
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23944881 - 12/20/16 10:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

The more body fat you have, the longer it stays in your system. Im pretty skinny, 140, and I have passed drug tests in as little as 3 days, but I wouldn't try that, I would quit smoking and try to pass some sweat. on the day of the tests I wouldn't eat, I would drink water. 1.5-2 hours before the test I would pound a pot of coffee, and have to piss like crazy. It would be yellow too because coffee dehydrates you. Worked like a charm, about 3 dozen times for me.

:hahyeahwoo:


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Offlinepinedownpioneer
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Registered: 03/28/10
Posts: 2,536
Loc: TX
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: LSDollar]
    #23945491 - 12/21/16 09:05 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have not used this yet but am prepared too. 
1. Aquire clean urine
2. Run clean urine through a .22 micron filter to get rid of any solids that settle out.
3. Put filtered urine in sterile vial.
4. Buy small digital thermometer, hot hand heaters, tape, and a koozie.
5. Activate heaters, put heaters and vial into koozie, tape to leg. Check temp prior to test.
6. Hopefully pass test.
How does this sound? Any suggestions?
The filter gets rid of old piss smell, dark color, and solids. It looks and smells like fresh pee after going through filter.


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OfflineThe Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 30 days, 9 hours
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: pinedownpioneer]
    #23945518 - 12/21/16 09:18 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

My buddy used head shop fake pee and got a job at walmart.


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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Offlinesearching
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 4,128
Last seen: 5 months, 5 days
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: pinedownpioneer]
    #23945801 - 12/21/16 11:16 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

pinedownpioneer said:
I have not used this yet but am prepared too. 
1. Aquire clean urine
2. Run clean urine through a .22 micron filter to get rid of any solids that settle out.
3. Put filtered urine in sterile vial.
4. Buy small digital thermometer, hot hand heaters, tape, and a koozie.
5. Activate heaters, put heaters and vial into koozie, tape to leg. Check temp prior to test.
6. Hopefully pass test.
How does this sound? Any suggestions?
The filter gets rid of old piss smell, dark color, and solids. It looks and smells like fresh pee after going through filter.




You don't need to filter it, that's just gross. You can freeze urine and it will be good for at least a year. When you run the frozen bottle of urine under warm water to heat it up, all of the solids will dissolve.

Do NOT put it in a bag taped to your leg. You don't want that shit to spill out and look like you pissed yourself. Get a small 3oz travel shampoo bottle and some icy hot warming strip. Warm the pee up under hot water or microwave if you have to. Put it in the bottle, wrap with heating pad, put it in your underwear and tape it so it won't fall. Go in and pass the test. If the pee is too hot when you pour it in, the temp will drop very quickly by blowing on it. If it's too cold then you're fucked. But with the method I described it will stay over 96 degrees for at least 4 hours! If you're worried then get a digital thermometer and check it beforehand.


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Offlinepinedownpioneer
Male User Gallery
Registered: 03/28/10
Posts: 2,536
Loc: TX
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
Re: How to pass a drug test... [Re: searching]
    #23945934 - 12/21/16 12:07 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

It's really not that gross. With good lab skills no spillage occurs.  Cant keep it frozen due to randoms at my job. It has to be ready to go at a moments notice.  You are spot on about the ziplock though.  I use sterile vials we use to run samples with. Ultra clean and no leaking


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