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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: desant] * 5
    #23945949 - 12/21/16 12:12 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

desant said:
Daz, I had a few girls pass out / sleep near me, always ended up fingering them :lol:




You creepy bastard


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Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
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Registered: 03/31/09
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: trees]
    #23945951 - 12/21/16 12:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Read my last post :facepalm:


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: desant] * 1
    #23945954 - 12/21/16 12:14 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

It's too late, you spilled the beans long before you tried to redeem yourself. Everyone saw it :haha: owned


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: desant]
    #23946183 - 12/21/16 01:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

desant said:
Here's a classic one :gethigh:

I was 15 on holiday in Cyprus with family

One time at night I decided to walk down to the beach... 15 min walk. I'm near the beach when I come by these two girls, 2 prawns sitting by the road, looking hot, willing and ready, about the same age as me. They look at me and shout hi!! I reply "Hi" and walk right by them towards the beach!

:facepalm:




Ugh that reminds me.  I was working retail and two cute girls came up and were flirting with me and one of them ended up asking me for my number after we talked a bit.  I felt weird because my cunty manager was staring over my shoulder, so I kinda ignored it and said something like, "no, come back and see me another time," instead of giving her my number.  Got fired from the job soon after for being 4 minutes late, or more for being chronically late but that day it was only 4 mins. 

I always wished I had just said, "how about right now," and went and banged her in the bathroom.  That job sucked.


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Offlinedesant
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23946192 - 12/21/16 01:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:yesnod:


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: desant] * 1
    #23946360 - 12/21/16 03:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

heres a two part one for ya'll.

Part One:

I travelled to Portland to go to a rave with my friend Wiley. He had a guy friend too, cant remember his name, lets call him Billy. We were all about the same age, early 20's.

So Wiley drives to the rave in Portland, we all drop acid and then go inside the warehouse.

So we are dancing, and Wiley is doing his typical "girl hopping" thing, getting sexy with a  bunch of different girls, breaking their hearts a bit. Hes a bit of a ladies man. One girl he left, she looked at me as a "replacement" but i didnt make the move. Fail one.

Later, i was dancing with Billy. Hes a beta like me, but we happened to be dancing close to two raver girls. I had a raver girl, and so did he. Both were pretty cute.

We continued dancing with them. At one point, i felt some click, like an instant change. I felt like Billy was being sexual with his raver girl, and i felt the same thing. So i started being more sexual with my raver girl dancing partner. I start lightly bumping and grinding on the raver girl, as i put my hands on her waist. Well, after about 30-45 seconds, she backed off away from me, and looked all scared. I thought i made the right move, i was wrong :facepalm:

A similar thing happened to Billy around the same time, so i dont feel too bad. We both tried and failed together.


Part Two:

Wiley eventually hangs out with this black haired girl, real cute, as the rave was ending. Me and Billy had no girl to hang out with.

We leave the rave and Wiley drops off his friend Billy at his friends house. Me and Wiley descide to crash at the Black haired girls house. I was excited cause i never get to do such things.

We get there, nice house. I walk in the door and see the black haired girl and she gives me a long, tight, sexualized hug. Oh my. i cant help but give the same back.

There was also another girl there, forgot her name, but lets call her Shelly. Turns out, she went to the same rave as all of us. Go figure.

So the black haired girl with the sexy hug goes with Wiley to her bedroom. I head to the couch where her friend Shelly is sleeping for the night. Shes pretty cute but not as much as the black haired girl. Im still horny but scared to make a move.

We stay up almost all night talking and walking this show Ive never seen before called Firefly. It was really cool, enjoying a TV show with a cute girl i just met. I really enjoyed it.

Well, after my failed attempt at the rave, i was afraid to make a sexual moves on Shelly which today i regret. i mean, i could even asked her to snuggle but didnt. I failed.

There is a silver lining for me thou....after staying up almost all night watching Firefly episodes, we fall asleep. Some time in the late morning, we wake up and she asks "would u like breakfast?". i was like "sure!". She made me an awesome breakfast, and i just met her last night! She made scrambled eggs, toast and i think sausage links too. We ate breakfast together and my spirits were lifted from her generous gesture.

Wiley and the black haired girl emerge from her room. During the night, i heard mostly talking from her, not so much sex sounds.

Shelly gets all mad cause she has to leave for something and takes it out on the black haired girl, who was her ride over. She stays nice to me but kinda mean to the black haired girl and Wiley himself.

Me and Wiley eventually leave the house, Shelly gives me a friendly warm hug (nothing sexual), and the black haired girl gives me another sexualized hug again which im all over and she gives a "ohhh!" as we squeeze eachother with sexual energy.

We say our goodbyes and leave. On our way to pick up Billy, Wiley tells me what happened last night: apparently, he didnt have sex either! That really surprized me since hes Alpha male gigalou extrodinare. He said that the black haired girl has only had sex with boyfriends, shes only had a few boyfriends in her life. Wiley also said that at some point, she dry humped Wileys leg but couldnt get herself to have sex with him. So interesting!

I told Wiley that me and Shelly just hung out and watched TV. He told me that they actually made out once which was surprizing cause he likes the real pretty girls and he said maybe thats why she was mean to him at the house.


We picked up Billy and Wiley told his story. I think Billy didnt have sex either, he was likely with a guy friend. Not sure really.

All in all, we all failed to have sex, together.


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Offlineergoticmandala
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23946522 - 12/21/16 04:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

yeah trying to read signals on psychedelics is hard, you both probably read the signals wrong at the rave cus u were both on acid


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Offlineymca
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Registered: 03/29/16
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23946604 - 12/21/16 04:39 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I was at a halloween party at some strangers house who almost didn't let us in. Some cute girl was going around asking for weed, and I told her I only had mdma. She tells me she has no money, but that she could give me a bj to pay for it. Being the beta virgin 17 years old that I was, and because I wasn't freshly shaved or some bs excuse like that, I said no and simply gave it to her. I learnt later that she blacked out and doesn't remember anything because of the pill.

Few months later, I went at Excision's show with a cute girl and a guy. We were all on mdma and supposed to crash at the girl's place afterward. After the show, I asked the girl for the mdma's money, and she answered something like "I could pay you with something else at my place :wink:", with a super sexual tone and face. I thought she couldn't possibly be meaning that, because she had a bf, and I had 0 self-esteem. So I asked what something else, and looking confused and disappointed, she said she could give me some weed.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23946670 - 12/21/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

That is no excuse for me, but thanks anyway :smile:


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OfflineWeAreMushroom
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ymca] * 1
    #23946710 - 12/21/16 05:16 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ymca said:
I was at a halloween party at some strangers house who almost didn't let us in. Some cute girl was going around asking for weed, and I told her I only had mdma. She tells me she has no money, but that she could give me a bj to pay for it. Being the beta virgin 17 years old that I was, and because I wasn't freshly shaved or some bs excuse like that, I said no and simply gave it to her. I learnt later that she blacked out and doesn't remember anything because of the pill.

Few months later, I went at Excision's show with a cute girl and a guy. We were all on mdma and supposed to crash at the girl's place afterward. After the show, I asked the girl for the mdma's money, and she answered something like "I could pay you with something else at my place :wink:", with a super sexual tone and face. I thought she couldn't possibly be meaning that, because she had a bf, and I had 0 self-esteem. So I asked what something else, and looking confused and disappointed, she said she could give me some weed.





You made the right choice, girls who offer you sex for drugs are the kind of girls you end up getting STD's from.

:snoopyes:


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Offlineymca
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: WeAreMushroom]
    #23946740 - 12/21/16 05:25 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

WeAreMushroom said:
You made the right choice, girls who offer you sex for drugs are the kind of girls you end up getting STD's from.

:snoopyes:




Idk, it was a pretty normal underage halloween party with normal people and she looked like a good girl. Also I'm super hot, I just didn't know it back then


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Offlineergoticmandala
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ymca]
    #23946797 - 12/21/16 05:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

normal people




Quote:

I'm super hot,




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Offlineymca
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23946890 - 12/21/16 06:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I meant regular good kids who don't take drugs and have good grades. Not a bunch of druggies and sluts.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ymca]
    #23947004 - 12/21/16 06:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

it it true that all dudes in the younger generation are bisex?  I read that somewhere.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: ymca] * 2
    #23947772 - 12/21/16 11:53 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Man nearly every post in this thread is completely normal and in no way a "fail" at all except for that one guy who finger-rapes girls


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"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

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Offlinespaceyvibess
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Registered: 12/11/16
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Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Sheekle]
    #23947782 - 12/21/16 11:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

yeah wtf I feel like everyone just kind of ignored his sex crimes? wtf mayne aint you heard of consent!?


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and if you ask him how he sings his blues so well, he says " I got a soul that I wont sell"


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InvisibleMad_Larkin
Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: spaceyvibess]
    #23947824 - 12/22/16 12:27 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

but a girl can't consent if shes asleep


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Mad_Larkin]
    #23947904 - 12/22/16 02:05 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

one time i was having sex with my current girlfriend, and she fell asleep in the middle of me hitting her from behind. It was late at night so understandable...

Anyway, i kept going, just really slow so i wouldnt wake her up. Was that wrong? :confused:


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23947911 - 12/22/16 02:13 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
it it true that all dudes in the younger generation are bisex?  I read that somewhere.



Idk but in my generation we're aroused by flashing lights and post-modern impressionism.


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¿Check out some art m8?



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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23947917 - 12/22/16 02:20 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
one time i was having sex with my current girlfriend, and she fell asleep in the middle of me hitting her from behind. It was late at night so understandable...

Anyway, i kept going, just really slow so i wouldnt wake her up. Was that wrong? :confused:




:feelsbannedman:


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