Home | Community | Message Board

MushroomMan Mycology
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next >  [ show all ]
InvisiblehTx
(:
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
Your failed sexual escapades
    #23942670 - 12/20/16 08:23 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Post your most cringeworthy failed sexual escapade.

I have so many, it's ridiculous how blind I was in my day, in retrospect knowing what I know now, I could have upped my hot girl bang count Significantly.

Some facepalms ago, there was this really hot chick who was dating a friend of mine.

They liked to do a lot of meth, consequently, my friend would be tweaking out doing all kinds of tinkering , leaving me alone with the girl.
Well she would always say shit like "he can't get it up when he is high and he is high all the time".
She once was wearing a skirt and soon as he would go off tweaking on some shit, she would lift up her skirt revealing a thong on a fatass.

I never made a move.
Not once, even though I thought she was fine as fuck, I figured she couldn't have been hitting on me because her boyfriend was my friend.
In retrospect, I was blind to how obviously she was down and knowing what I know now, would have destroyed that pussy the first time she mentioned being dissatisfied with her bf.

Theres quite a few other hot girls I missed my chance with due to sheer fear, disbelief, and the occasional super awkward guy I sometimes became trying to hookup..


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 5 hours, 40 minutes
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: hTx] * 1
    #23942673 - 12/20/16 08:26 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You stayed true to your friend. That is by no means a facepalm. I respect you for that.


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblehTx
(:
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #23942680 - 12/20/16 08:30 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, my being loyal / naive prevented a lot of quality hookups.

I should have smashed though, friend in question started stealing shit from me so we no longer talk.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male

Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: hTx] * 2
    #23942686 - 12/20/16 08:34 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I got sooooo many socio sexual fuck ups under my belt it's not even funny


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineA.RichardTrickle
Feel like a Stranger

Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 808
Loc: Silver Mine Peggy Sue
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #23942692 - 12/20/16 08:35 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I knew this super hot girl that I met through a girl I had dated in college.  Long blonde curly hair, like 5 foot ten and an amazing early twenties body.  We became friends, looking back she was just begging me to bang her but I lacked the confidence back then.  I remembered that girls phone number for like 6 years after we parted ways....
We would go to the bar, gaslight about her "theatre" career and so on. She bring me over to her house, ask advice on sexy little outfits she wanted to wear out to the pub with me.  I was young and dumb, never caught on.
One that I really wish I had banged was my sisters cheerleader buddy in high school, she was forever flirting very openly, I was young n dumb......  having a cheerleader sister definately had its perks though :-)
Dick


--------------------
"When eating shit, it is best not to nibble.  Bite, Chew. Swallow. Repeat."
"If you're making love to your old lady, someone else is fucking her"
"Douchebags are children who never grew up, like Sheeklette, we should pity them."
[quote]Niffla said:
[quote]A.RichardTrickle said:
Dick[/quote]
http://www.youtube.com/v/kbwNUOUy-3c[/quote]


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: desant]
    #23942695 - 12/20/16 08:36 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

i shot coke for a few hours with this girl and had sex with her..wel i could barely perform  because i was so geeked out but she fucked me like a master. i didnt cum of course

then for my virginity i had no idea what i was doing


then one time me and this girl were piss drunk and she couldnt get wet and i couldnt get it up

pretty embarrassing


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinehex_enduction
satta massa gana
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: spirit_shadow] * 1
    #23942699 - 12/20/16 08:36 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Can't remember anything too horrible, but I've missed out on a handful of chances to get laid because my sex drive was fucked up for one reason or another and I just wasn't feeling it. Happened a couple times in the past few months.

I almost took a girl's virginity a few months ago who is a close friend of mine just because I was lonely and hadn't gotten any in a while but luckily I came to my senses and didn't go for it.

I recently almost decided against making a move on this girl who was very obviously interested in me because her roommate is a girl I had a thing with and have pretty strong feelings for, but luckily I said fuck it and went for it anyway, and ended up having some of the best sex of my life with an incredibly sexy and interesting girl yesterday :awesome:

I don't get laid much :lol:


--------------------


Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs

sunshine said:
Tragic.  I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: hTx]
    #23942719 - 12/20/16 08:45 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Looking back on my last relationship, I sometimes wish I was the type of guy that would have cheated, I could have had sex so many times with many different girls.

All of my ex's friends tried to fuck me behind her back, seriously, everyone of them, she always wondered why I didn't like being around her friends but I didn't have the heart to tell her because they propositioned me numerous times for sex, she wouldn't have believed me anyways though, so I would just act distant around her friends.

One time two of her friends wanted some pot, and I was selling pot at that point in my life, so I went to meet two of her friends who lived together, one told me to sit down on the couch while I waited for her other friend, the one girl that told me to sit down sat next to me, then her other friend came out of the shower and sat next to me with a towel on and no underwear, she was spreading her legs right in front of me and looking at her friend and moving sexually, me being loyal I said fuck it and got out of there.

Another time a good friends girl called me in the morning, I was dope sick and looking for someone to throw down on a bag, she said she just picked up 2 $50 pieces and she would gladly front me one, so I ripped over to her place like a bat out of hell eager to fill my veins with heroin, she started telling me how the pants she wore were very comfortable, and how they had a hole in the crotch and how she didn't have panties on, she kept trying to show me over and over again, my mind instantly switched to danger mode, so I kept changing the subject to photography because I knew she liked that, so did I, it worked.  That girl died from an OD not long after that, shit sucks. There were many other times, but those two stand out the most in my mind.

Sometimes I really wish I would have cheated, but I never felt that low about my ex, cheating just seems dumb to me.  I would respect someone that had sexual attraction to another person, and were honest about it, but to cheat just seems stupid because it creates problems which don't have to exists.  I think many people cheat due to not knowing how to talk about their problems properly.

Regarding the side of sexual issues like failure to fuck, I have had a few of those sure, all from being on large amounts of substances though. Sometimes a girl would want sex and I was not in my right mind, but would oblige anyways, not a good idea.  I find that avoiding bad sexual encounters is easy, just don't have sex unless you want to, at least that had worked for me.


--------------------
©️


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: hTx] * 2
    #23942729 - 12/20/16 08:50 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I started puberty a bit later than most and one time when I was 15 and my erect dick couldn't have been any longer than an inch and a half some girl who liked me kept sticking her hand down my pants repeatedly throughout the night and I would literally run away each time because I didn't want everyone to know how small my dick was, haha.

In retrospect, she seemed to be attracted to me for my youthfulness so perhaps she probably wouldn't have cared.


Not too long after our group of friends wound up kind of breaking apart for various reasons and we went off to do our own things for years. She wound up getting pregnant right after HS to my knowledge.


I wound up running into her at a gas station about a year back, it wasn't awkward at all and we actually had a nice little 2-3 minute long conversation.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: hTx] * 3
    #23942735 - 12/20/16 08:51 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Man, I find some of the other responses in this thread kind of weird.

You guys wish you cheated? Why? I can guarantee if you actually did you would regret cheating 10x more than if you hadn't, assuming you're not a sociopath.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male

Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Lucis]
    #23942746 - 12/20/16 08:55 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

In 2000 I chatted up this hot chick in a health club spa... we decided to meet up after and hit the local club, we did and later went to that girls house... to make story short I discovered she was 18 years older than me and for some reason back then (I was 17) was a turn offf and we didn't have sex!! We just chilled round her flat, then around 3 am her friend popped in , we ended up doing few lines and then I just simply went home

I was so dumb back then


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleRas Rising
Friend of Nature
I'm a teapot


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/13
Posts: 4,442
Loc: Once Under, Always Over (...
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: desant] * 5
    #23942752 - 12/20/16 08:59 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

My lifes title: Failed sexual escapades.

:feelsoldman:


--------------------
:bliss:To be altruistic and humble, to spread love and positivity where ever I go.*:bliss: 

*Does not include the Romp 
:inlove3::sunny::shroomeryhead::feelsshroomyman::shroomeryhead::sunny::inlove3:
Test Kits? SurRealitys gocchu'!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male

Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Ras Rising]
    #23942790 - 12/20/16 09:16 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Back in 2001

Me and 2 of me mates went out on the town, hit a few bars and ended up in this "70th night club"

It was fun. Good 70th music, Abba and shit. The best bit: I hooked up with the hottest chick! She was thirty ... we ended up dancing and drinking for hours, she put like 3 or 4 hickies on my neck .... it was time for bed, all over sudden I felt like I had too much to drink and was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it up!!! Which was nonsense , girl was smoking hot!!! So I had a "brain fart" - I figured I will meet her again in few days and I won't be drunk and have some viagra on me.... only I never saw this girl again... :sad:

Any way, A+ thread


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDoctor Sponge
He's off on a tangent
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/03/12
Posts: 11,795
Loc: the desert
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Sheekle]
    #23942836 - 12/20/16 09:39 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
I started puberty a bit later than most and one time when I was 15 and my erect dick couldn't have been any longer than an inch and a half some girl who liked me kept sticking her hand down my pants repeatedly throughout the night and I would literally run away each time because I didn't want everyone to know how small my dick was, haha.

In retrospect, she seemed to be attracted to me for my youthfulness so perhaps she probably wouldn't have cared.


Not too long after our group of friends wound up kind of breaking apart for various reasons and we went off to do our own things for years. She wound up getting pregnant right after HS to my knowledge.


I wound up running into her at a gas station about a year back, it wasn't awkward at all and we actually had a nice little 2-3 minute long conversation.



thats pretty damn funny :lol:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Sheekle]
    #23942842 - 12/20/16 09:43 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
some girl who liked me kept sticking her hand down my pants repeatedly throughout the night and I would literally run away each time because I didn't want everyone to know how small my dick was.





That is sig worthy


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 5 hours, 40 minutes
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #23942846 - 12/20/16 09:44 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Man, I find some of the other responses in this thread kind of weird.

You guys wish you cheated? Why? I can guarantee if you actually did you would regret cheating 10x more than if you hadn't, assuming you're not a sociopath.



Im a sociopath and I still dont cheat, out of principle :shrug:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecivil twilight
Male

Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 512
Loc: Wisconsin
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Doctor Sponge]
    #23942848 - 12/20/16 09:44 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Smashleigh and Heroin bitch... just wasn't that into them :shrug:


--------------------
"You dropped your pocket..."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedaz01
Learning
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/30/10
Posts: 4,652
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 12 hours, 28 minutes
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Ras Rising]
    #23942869 - 12/20/16 09:49 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

A stupid amount. I always had confidence and anxiety problems when I was young, especially during the last time I really socialised (4 years ago at college) It was extremely hard for me to talk to females back then.

3 major fails for me.
I knew her for years because she was my sisters friend. A 9/10.... not only in physical attractiveness but in personality and intelligence. She was a graduated neuroscientist and we had this unique and electrical chemistry. She was a damn nympho as well, from what I overheard in other peoples discussions :lol: We'd flirt and seduce with each other non stop, we'd lock eye contact as she "ate" bananas and sucked her finger when she took the foam from beer/coffee.

She was up visiting my sister one night, we are drinking and we were the last 2 to have not KO'ed. We eventually move up to my room, we are ripping off our shoes and I move in.... my sister barges in and interrupts the flow :lol: I dunno what happened, it just made me choke and my anxiety goes sky high. We cuddle in bed and she wraps her leg around mine. I can feel the intense, radiating heat and energy from her pussy..... I don't make a move. She pretends to fall asleep, though I don't think she did and I lie on my back wide awake the whole night.

:godfuckingdammit:
One of the biggest regrets of my life.
She was pissed off at me for a while but we eventually went back to our flirtatious ways. She got into contact with me in 2014 on FB.... and we also poked each hundreds of times. I was mentally ill and also a opiate addict, I lost interest in females during 2014.
Unfortunately, she's now in damn serious relationship and I cannot do anything :frown:

An other time in 2012 as well. Christmas college party. An averagely pretty 17 year old was drunk and she was begging me, in front of the classroom, to come into the bathroom and fuck her. I refused..... I was mildly overdosing on 6-APB and could barely function :lol:

More recently, last month, when I was free from mental illness and the opiate addiction, out at the club for the first time in 4 years. I was flirting with an attractive women all night. She was saying she had to nowhere to stay tonight, I was teasing her that I knew a guy with a warm double bed.... I never actually got around to telling her shes coming home with me.... I was drunk though.... really drunk. I can't even remember what she looks like :frown:



Now that I am living my life and feel the best I have ever felt, I'm going to be overflowing in women when I get a job and start the yoga/health classes. I promise, no more regrets :kingcrankey:


--------------------
Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute or an hour or a day or even a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #23942875 - 12/20/16 09:51 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Man, I find some of the other responses in this thread kind of weird.

You guys wish you cheated? Why? I can guarantee if you actually did you would regret cheating 10x more than if you hadn't, assuming you're not a sociopath.



Im a sociopath and I still dont cheat, out of principle :shrug:



That's good man, i'm not saying all sociopaths cheat.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 5 hours, 40 minutes
Re: Your failed sexual escapades [Re: Sheekle]
    #23942917 - 12/20/16 10:08 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Man, I find some of the other responses in this thread kind of weird.

You guys wish you cheated? Why? I can guarantee if you actually did you would regret cheating 10x more than if you hadn't, assuming you're not a sociopath.



Im a sociopath and I still dont cheat, out of principle :shrug:



That's good man, i'm not saying all sociopaths cheat.



:seriousthankyou:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* tell your best sexual stories
( 1 2 3 all )
Wolfgang 4,828 46 02/14/08 11:38 PM
by tiny_rabid_birds
* sexcapade
( 1 2 all )
JesusGoneRogue 1,118 24 10/23/13 05:22 PM
by JesusGoneRogue
* I Dreamt Last Night That I Was Fondling My Friend's Tits Klondike 2,883 12 06/20/09 05:10 AM
by Denisius
* How often do you feel sexual? (experience a desire for sex)
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
MOTH 10,587 88 07/23/08 12:22 PM
by thedudenj
* Alternative sexuality, drugs, and stigma tomk 1,351 4 11/24/04 07:55 PM
by JCoke
* Fish Accused of Sexual Harassment ManianFHS 711 2 01/31/08 01:54 PM
by Sell Your Soul
* Non sexual relationship - Do they exist?
( 1 2 all )
Legend9123 3,473 29 07/01/16 10:42 AM
by Nolan92
* Poll: Your sexual excusions!
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 all )
FreeLaws1_6 16,656 122 07/23/08 12:26 PM
by Kada

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
1,623 topic views. 6 members, 53 guests and 61 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.029 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 16 queries.