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Offlineyeah
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Have you ever wished you were dead?
    #23940371 - 12/19/16 01:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

So I posted about this in the philosophy forum.

This is gonna be a blog post but feel free to add to it.

I was hating life because of how hard it was for me to find a job. Then I found a job and I quit in 2 days because it made me unquestionably feeling worse off. My god it sucked and I am so fortunate that I'm not in a life situation that would force me to keep it...

But what exactly is it that makes a man or woman that low? I mean, I have literally from my heart wished that I was dead before. The spot in my backyard that I made my deathwish at is a special spot and I go there to introspect and to absorb shadowpower666xXd34then3rgy. Maybe I can take a picture of it if anyone wants, but I'd rather just keep it as a place that someone only sees if they come to where I live...

I think it's a byproduct of a society that wants to make men martyrs and ignore their nobility, but that's none of my business.

So who else has done it? What lead you there? I am definitely happier now that I quit that job and realized how much better it is without working for a meaningless paycheck. But I question if I will ever have a career that gives my life meaning...


--------------------


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23940386 - 12/19/16 01:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

What is it to be dead?

Not exist after ceasing to exist? 
Or something more, far better or far worse.

I understand that present experience can suck and a desire to alter that experience.  Suicide idealtion is nothing small.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Morel Guy]
    #23940428 - 12/19/16 02:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

The divine obliteration of one phase to start something else...


--------------------


Edited by yeah (12/19/16 02:06 PM)


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23940449 - 12/19/16 02:14 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
The divine obliteration of one phase to start something else...




This too shall pass.  Sounds like the job wasn't a good one, move on and think about what you like, not wishing you are dead.

That's my best pep talk on a Monday.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #23940499 - 12/19/16 02:33 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I feel fine right now. Better than I was a few days ago. None the less your pep is well received.


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23940500 - 12/19/16 02:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
The divine obliteration of one phase to start something else...





I wouldn't expect divinity from dying.  It would be more like schizophrenia.  It's like expecting bliss from peyote.  It may teach other tactics.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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OfflineTmethylM
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah] * 4
    #23940501 - 12/19/16 02:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have wished I was dead, it still lingers around and it's stronger sometimes.
What causes it? For me it was just that I can see the limitation in everything and I always think long-term.
No matter how hard you try you're still going to be fucked in the end, and no matter how much knowledge you gain, it doesn't make you happy.
The world seems to be designed to perpetuate suffering while pretending it's a happy fun place.
Also that there is no end in sight, you must pay bills until you die, you can't even own anything, if you own your car you still have to keep paying insurance and other bills, and if you think you own your house or property, you still have to pay yearly taxes until you die, and if you don't pay those taxes they can just take your house, that you "owned". It's insane.

So where some people see a job as just a way to get by, I seen it as a form of legal slavery,
and when I bought things I was paying with hours of my life, not money. Money I gained by being a slave.
Every moment of life on someone else's schedule is wasted life. There eventually came a point where I couldn't do it for another second, and nearly did kill myself.
But my gf convinced me to just throw this lifestyle away and start over.

Still though, America is a disgusting country filled with horrible people and I don't like being a part of it.
I know there are some rare gems of people, and I'm not one of them.

I'd give anything to be in a position where I wasn't forced into slavery to earn money to survive.


--------------------
¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Tmethyl]
    #23940508 - 12/19/16 02:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Living tends to be the death.  But what good is having it all deceased and not able to have any of it living?  Or better someone else's life with paradise.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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InvisibleDividedQuantumM
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Tmethyl] * 1
    #23940537 - 12/19/16 02:47 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Tmethyl said:
I have wished I was dead, it still lingers around and it's stronger sometimes.
What causes it? For me it was just that I can see the limitation in everything and I always think long-term.
No matter how hard you try you're still going to be fucked in the end, and no matter how much knowledge you gain, it doesn't make you happy.
The world seems to be designed to perpetuate suffering while pretending it's a happy fun place.
Also that there is no end in sight, you must pay bills until you die, you can't even own anything, if you own your car you still have to keep paying insurance and other bills, and if you think you own your house or property, you still have to pay yearly taxes until you die, and if you don't pay those taxes they can just take your house, that you "owned". It's insane.

So where some people see a job as just a way to get by, I seen it as a form of legal slavery,
and when I bought things I was paying with hours of my life, not money. Money I gained by being a slave.
Every moment of life on someone else's schedule is wasted life. There eventually came a point where I couldn't do it for another second, and nearly did kill myself.
But my gf convinced me to just throw this lifestyle away and start over.

Still though, America is a disgusting country filled with horrible people and I don't like being a part of it.
I know there are some rare gems of people, and I'm not one of them.

I'd give anything to be in a position where I wasn't forced into slavery to earn money to survive.




Great post. :thumbup:


--------------------
Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici


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OfflineLRG
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #23940687 - 12/19/16 03:53 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I don't mean to play the "actually been there done that" card, but I've been dead or just nearly.

Dying isn't fun dude. I would rather work hard for a shit paycheck until I'm 80 than die young.

It's true you can uproot yourself and break all ties, but would you really want that? Truth be told, most people do not have the survival skills to survive without money. They think they can because they watch those TV shows, but when push comes to shove being homeless and living off the land or charity of other people is harsh.

I personally HATE money, but you do need it in the end. The love of money is the primary root of evil for Mankind. Everything we do is about money, profits, and gain. Oceans are dying? Yea but my pockets are full, so I don't care. People starving everywhere, everyday? I give them 50k a year in donations, I did my part. You get the point.

It all depends on happiness. Are you happy with your job? Are you happy with the life is provides for you and/or your family? I whole-heartedly believe every man's home is his castle. Certainly, the government could take your house if you don't pay taxes, even if you own it outright, but that's the law. Not a good one, but it keeps the war machine running as they say.

When you have a family to provide for you will understand the responsibility of providing a good home for your loved ones. You will feel happiness when you see the look on your wife's face knowing she is truly happy with the life you and her are sharing.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will make things easier. You can choose to be a deadbeat bum, or you can choose to go out there and make something of yourself. Ever wonder why some beautiful women are with average looking and even less than average looking guys? It's because they make money, and can provide them with a good life. Do you like beautiful women? I thought so. So get up off your ass, make some money, marry that foxy thing, make some babies, and be happy. If that's not your idea of happiness then I can't help you.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


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InvisibleDividedQuantumM
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LRG]
    #23940811 - 12/19/16 04:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LRG said:
So get up off your ass, make some money, marry that foxy thing, make some babies, and be happy. If that's not your idea of happiness then I can't help you.




That's not my idea of happiness, and no, you can't help me.

I have never wished I were dead though.


--------------------
Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Tmethyl]
    #23940906 - 12/19/16 05:16 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Tmethyl said:
I have wished I was dead, it still lingers around and it's stronger sometimes.
What causes it? For me it was just that I can see the limitation in everything and I always think long-term.
No matter how hard you try you're still going to be fucked in the end, and no matter how much knowledge you gain, it doesn't make you happy.
The world seems to be designed to perpetuate suffering while pretending it's a happy fun place.
Also that there is no end in sight, you must pay bills until you die, you can't even own anything, if you own your car you still have to keep paying insurance and other bills, and if you think you own your house or property, you still have to pay yearly taxes until you die, and if you don't pay those taxes they can just take your house, that you "owned". It's insane.

So where some people see a job as just a way to get by, I seen it as a form of legal slavery,
and when I bought things I was paying with hours of my life, not money. Money I gained by being a slave.
Every moment of life on someone else's schedule is wasted life. There eventually came a point where I couldn't do it for another second, and nearly did kill myself.
But my gf convinced me to just throw this lifestyle away and start over.

Still though, America is a disgusting country filled with horrible people and I don't like being a part of it.
I know there are some rare gems of people, and I'm not one of them.

I'd give anything to be in a position where I wasn't forced into slavery to earn money to survive.




Slave To The Grind



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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OfflineTmethylM
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #23940955 - 12/19/16 05:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DividedQuantum said:
Quote:

LRG said:
So get up off your ass, make some money, marry that foxy thing, make some babies, and be happy. If that's not your idea of happiness then I can't help you.




That's not my idea of happiness, and no, you can't help me.




That's my idea of a banal pointless existence, to think of it as an "idea of happiness" requires a serious amount of believed-in conditioning.
A consumer mind-set. :sad:
I wish this could be my dream, it would be so, so simple.


--------------------
¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LRG]
    #23940970 - 12/19/16 05:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LRG said:
I don't mean to play the "actually been there done that" card, but I've been dead or just nearly.

Dying isn't fun dude. I would rather work hard for a shit paycheck until I'm 80 than die young.

It's true you can uproot yourself and break all ties, but would you really want that? Truth be told, most people do not have the survival skills to survive without money. They think they can because they watch those TV shows, but when push comes to shove being homeless and living off the land or charity of other people is harsh.

I personally HATE money, but you do need it in the end. The love of money is the primary root of evil for Mankind. Everything we do is about money, profits, and gain. Oceans are dying? Yea but my pockets are full, so I don't care. People starving everywhere, everyday? I give them 50k a year in donations, I did my part. You get the point.

It all depends on happiness. Are you happy with your job? Are you happy with the life is provides for you and/or your family? I whole-heartedly believe every man's home is his castle. Certainly, the government could take your house if you don't pay taxes, even if you own it outright, but that's the law. Not a good one, but it keeps the war machine running as they say.

When you have a family to provide for you will understand the responsibility of providing a good home for your loved ones. You will feel happiness when you see the look on your wife's face knowing she is truly happy with the life you and her are sharing.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will make things easier. You can choose to be a deadbeat bum, or you can choose to go out there and make something of yourself. Ever wonder why some beautiful women are with average looking and even less than average looking guys? It's because they make money, and can provide them with a good life. Do you like beautiful women? I thought so. So get up off your ass, make some money, marry that foxy thing, make some babies, and be happy. If that's not your idea of happiness then I can't help you.




Having some gold digging bitch as a way to lose 1/2 of my money?  No thanks.  I saw what happened to my friend who has some $$.  We warned him too, she was a gold digger.  Took his ASS for about $200 large, and counting.  When she told him it was always about the money, I think that hurt his pride as much as anything.  He can basically never sell the one house without losing additional $$ to her another 40 large.  Stuck like chuck.  Is that your idea of happiness?   

You have some odd ideas about the ocean dying somehow being OK as long as you get your fish.

Get it straight, as long as the government can lien your property for not paying the property taxes, and take it eventually, you can never "own your house outright" even with no mortgage.  Also you need to look into the concept of adverse possession and easements. 

Basically, the dead own the property, and by agreeing to your strawman who doesn't exist, but is willing to appear in court, you seal the deal of owing the taxes.  Not that when the sheriff comes it will matter, but that's the whole concept in this country.  Notice when you go to court nobody ever checks IDs.  That's because you aren't really there, somebody going by your name is appearing that isn't alive.  By doing the right things one can conceivably stop paying driving licenses for example which is really a chauffeurs license because driving implies for hire. 

Anyway do you really believe in the war machine that much?



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (12/19/16 05:43 PM)


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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23941729 - 12/19/16 08:59 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
So I posted about this in the philosophy forum.

This is gonna be a blog post but feel free to add to it.

I was hating life because of how hard it was for me to find a job. Then I found a job and I quit in 2 days because it made me unquestionably feeling worse off. My god it sucked and I am so fortunate that I'm not in a life situation that would force me to keep it...

But what exactly is it that makes a man or woman that low? I mean, I have literally from my heart wished that I was dead before. The spot in my backyard that I made my deathwish at is a special spot and I go there to introspect and to absorb shadowpower666xXd34then3rgy. Maybe I can take a picture of it if anyone wants, but I'd rather just keep it as a place that someone only sees if they come to where I live...

I think it's a byproduct of a society that wants to make men martyrs and ignore their nobility, but that's none of my business.

So who else has done it? What lead you there? I am definitely happier now that I quit that job and realized how much better it is without working for a meaningless paycheck. But I question if I will ever have a career that gives my life meaning...






pain

pain, especially physical, makes me want to die.  i spent a few months in internal pain from unknown source(s).  chronic pain often leads to depression; worse in people naturally bi-polar (chemically imbalanced)

i was waking up everyday with the thought, "fuck, why am i still waking up.  end this shit already." and had given much more intricate and expedient thought to how i will, eventually, end my life.  the last couple weeks have resulted in less pain, as the source has, largely, been discovered.  as the pain decreases and becomes less regular, my mental state has begun improving, and not all mornings am i waking up waiting for my field of poppies to drown into.


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: demiu5]
    #23941786 - 12/19/16 09:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

damn, well I hope you get better


--------------------


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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23942223 - 12/20/16 01:07 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
damn, well I hope you get better






hope for yourself, it's energy better put to use.  slow, small improvements, though, have greatly impacted my mental state....that is the take away.  there's also a lot to be said about heart- and dental-health in relation to brain function and mental well-being


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineWhyDidiDoThis
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #23942228 - 12/20/16 01:10 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DividedQuantum said:
Quote:

Tmethyl said:
I have wished I was dead, it still lingers around and it's stronger sometimes.
What causes it? For me it was just that I can see the limitation in everything and I always think long-term.
No matter how hard you try you're still going to be fucked in the end, and no matter how much knowledge you gain, it doesn't make you happy.
The world seems to be designed to perpetuate suffering while pretending it's a happy fun place.
Also that there is no end in sight, you must pay bills until you die, you can't even own anything, if you own your car you still have to keep paying insurance and other bills, and if you think you own your house or property, you still have to pay yearly taxes until you die, and if you don't pay those taxes they can just take your house, that you "owned". It's insane.

So where some people see a job as just a way to get by, I seen it as a form of legal slavery,
and when I bought things I was paying with hours of my life, not money. Money I gained by being a slave.
Every moment of life on someone else's schedule is wasted life. There eventually came a point where I couldn't do it for another second, and nearly did kill myself.
But my gf convinced me to just throw this lifestyle away and start over.

Still though, America is a disgusting country filled with horrible people and I don't like being a part of it.
I know there are some rare gems of people, and I'm not one of them.

I'd give anything to be in a position where I wasn't forced into slavery to earn money to survive.




Great post. :thumbup:





I've been wanting death lately.
What is it. To be unborn?
Its just like before one was born. Well that isnt so bad.


Then there is this thing in me. I know in my soul. This existence is a test. A test that has been failed for thousands of years. how did we get here, this far?
When will we finally understand.?


If i ended it.. its no way out.
If it isnt my consciousness, it will be another per se. There is no true escape.
There is still existence in death.
there is no way out.

We are here.


Edited by WhyDidiDoThis (12/20/16 01:11 AM)


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OfflinePeyote Road
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: WhyDidiDoThis]
    #23942256 - 12/20/16 01:39 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I've wanted to die so many times, but I've also wanted to live a lot of times.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra


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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #23942279 - 12/20/16 02:01 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DividedQuantum said:
Quote:

Tmethyl said:
I have wished I was dead, it still lingers around and it's stronger sometimes.
What causes it? For me it was just that I can see the limitation in everything and I always think long-term.
No matter how hard you try you're still going to be fucked in the end, and no matter how much knowledge you gain, it doesn't make you happy.
The world seems to be designed to perpetuate suffering while pretending it's a happy fun place.
Also that there is no end in sight, you must pay bills until you die, you can't even own anything, if you own your car you still have to keep paying insurance and other bills, and if you think you own your house or property, you still have to pay yearly taxes until you die, and if you don't pay those taxes they can just take your house, that you "owned". It's insane.

So where some people see a job as just a way to get by, I seen it as a form of legal slavery,
and when I bought things I was paying with hours of my life, not money. Money I gained by being a slave.
Every moment of life on someone else's schedule is wasted life. There eventually came a point where I couldn't do it for another second, and nearly did kill myself.
But my gf convinced me to just throw this lifestyle away and start over.

Still though, America is a disgusting country filled with horrible people and I don't like being a part of it.
I know there are some rare gems of people, and I'm not one of them.

I'd give anything to be in a position where I wasn't forced into slavery to earn money to survive.




Great post. :thumbup:






indeed


what gets me a lot of times.  walking down to the outhouse in or just after a rain.  thousands of worms come to the surface.  i step on them, inadvertently, on my way to the outhouse, until i take care to find a path around the bulk.  same for slugs/snails, other insects or small animals.  when cutting/burning, i often kill lizards by accident, be it stepping on them, squishing them while rolling a log, or accidentally tossing them into a fire or building a fire over their home.

i cut down a tree that knowingly had a family of doug-fir squirrels living in it. 

i consciously choose to drive a truck.  that has its consequences. 


for me to live and move about, just this body, i will inevitably cause a direct end to thousands of lives.  how is this fair?  why i deserve this place of "might-is-right" where little to no animal alive today could step on and squash me.  i feel bad, despite trying to convince myself feeling bad in those cases is emotionally harming.


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineTmethylM
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: demiu5]
    #23942291 - 12/20/16 02:11 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I think about that a lot, Demiu. Every step you take is killing some small organism, and why does small have to equal 'insignificant'?
Even the smallest bacteria are just as necessary as any large creature, in fact all mammals depend on bacteria.
I know life feeds on life, but pointless killing is hard to accept.

Since you can't live without killing things, I am just left to assume that it's meant to be.


--------------------
¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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OfflineJenjens
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Tmethyl]
    #23947111 - 12/21/16 07:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have wished I was dead....but more to the fact that I wished I had another life....more money, better friends, etc. Earth is a very difficult place to live, and the fact that we are being betrayed by our government just makes me wish I had chosen a better planet or galaxy to experience life.


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Jenjens]
    #23947828 - 12/22/16 12:29 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I hear you Yeah.  But wouldn't it be just a tiny bit hilarious if death was just being unborn...but so that you die....and then just like almost immediately slip right into a nice warm womb and then your out in the freezing ass world again with your little naked self crying away for a nipple at first light? LOL


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Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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OfflineLRG
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Tmethyl]
    #23948259 - 12/22/16 07:41 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Tmethyl said:
Quote:

DividedQuantum said:
Quote:

LRG said:
So get up off your ass, make some money, marry that foxy thing, make some babies, and be happy. If that's not your idea of happiness then I can't help you.




That's not my idea of happiness, and no, you can't help me.




That's my idea of a banal pointless existence, to think of it as an "idea of happiness" requires a serious amount of believed-in conditioning.
A consumer mind-set. :sad:
I wish this could be my dream, it would be so, so simple.




I guess you could always keep searching for the "meaning of life." Then wake up one day and realize LOVE is the answer to the question LIFE is. Must be so much fun to be sitting around waiting for something magical to happen that never does.

I'd rather you not poke fun of and emasculate my idea of happiness, but to each his own. Makes no matter to me what you wish to do with your life. Shouldn't be sad for me. I wake up nearly every morning to a beautiful girl with a nice set of hips. I'd rather have that than wake up alone and wondering where I will find happiness. I found happiness. I played the game and I won YAY FOR ME!!!

Happiness is simple so, so simple. Yet so many people here are so caught up in EVERYTHING they refuse to seek out the simple things in life: Love of a good woman, comfort of a good home, and freedom to do what you want. I'd rather have all 3 of those than just freedom to do what you want. I won't be thinking about this and that when I'm inside her tonight, I can promise you that. Nor will I be regretting all the time we spent together when she leaves me one way or another.

Truth be told, I don't find people like you interesting or "deep" at all. You're mostly all the same, self absorbed and quite frankly unhappy. I don't get it, and I don't need to because I don't care.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LRG]
    #23948580 - 12/22/16 09:55 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

and what if she leaves you?


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OfflineTmethylM
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LRG]
    #23949005 - 12/22/16 12:15 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LRG said:
Quote:

Tmethyl said:
Quote:

DividedQuantum said:
Quote:

LRG said:
So get up off your ass, make some money, marry that foxy thing, make some babies, and be happy. If that's not your idea of happiness then I can't help you.




That's not my idea of happiness, and no, you can't help me.




That's my idea of a banal pointless existence, to think of it as an "idea of happiness" requires a serious amount of believed-in conditioning.
A consumer mind-set. :sad:
I wish this could be my dream, it would be so, so simple.




I guess you could always keep searching for the "meaning of life." Then wake up one day and realize LOVE is the answer to the question LIFE is. Must be so much fun to be sitting around waiting for something magical to happen that never does.

I'd rather you not poke fun of and emasculate my idea of happiness, but to each his own. Makes no matter to me what you wish to do with your life. Shouldn't be sad for me. I wake up nearly every morning to a beautiful girl with a nice set of hips. I'd rather have that than wake up alone and wondering where I will find happiness. I found happiness. I played the game and I won YAY FOR ME!!!

Happiness is simple so, so simple. Yet so many people here are so caught up in EVERYTHING they refuse to seek out the simple things in life: Love of a good woman, comfort of a good home, and freedom to do what you want. I'd rather have all 3 of those than just freedom to do what you want. I won't be thinking about this and that when I'm inside her tonight, I can promise you that. Nor will I be regretting all the time we spent together when she leaves me one way or another.

Truth be told, I don't find people like you interesting or "deep" at all. You're mostly all the same, self absorbed and quite frankly unhappy. I don't get it, and I don't need to because I don't care.




I know where you're coming from, I do wish I could believe you, but your current situation and mindset are temporary.
I don't mean to come off condescending.
We've all likely been where you are now, and I am basically in your exact position presently, I mean I have all the pussy I want and a car too.
I hope this lasts a very long time for you, and I hope my words don't shrink the duration, but you are not truly happy.
Permanent happiness cannot be found in objects, or mindsets, or living situations.
Soon something will happen to change your current mindset and you will no longer be happy, this will happen over and over again until you've had enough of the game and you will open your mind to the possibility that there is something greater. I will meet you there. :heart:
"Think you're in heaven, but ya living in hell."

The happiness I seek cannot be disturbed.
I don't need or want you to seek it as well, you have your path.


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¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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OfflineLRG
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23949010 - 12/22/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
and what if she leaves you?




I don't worry about that. I really don't even entertain the thought. I treat her like a queen. Why would she leave? I couldn't answer that. I buy her flowers, I surprise her with BnB getaways, I don't lie to her, and I respect her.

She and I share a bond that can't be explained. I saw her working at 7-11 and I knew she was the one. Her eyes were like a tractor beam, could not escape the cuteness. I popped the question "Has anyone told you how cute you are today?" She blushed, gave me that bright, beautiful smile and said no. Took a few trips to that 7-11 to ask her out, but eventually I did and the rest is history. We're not married but I intend to and she knows it, probably because I've told her I'm going to marry her and all she does is give me that look when I first talked to her.

The love of a beautiful woman is all I've wanted.

The simple life ain't so simple. It's whatever you want to make it.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LRG]
    #23949059 - 12/22/16 12:29 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I want a soulmate to just appear and be available but that isn't happening

I guess I'm not as good at being happy as you are :shrug:


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OfflineLRG
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Tmethyl]
    #23949104 - 12/22/16 12:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Tmethyl said:
I know where you're coming from, I do wish I could believe you, but your current situation and mindset are temporary.
I don't mean to come off condescending.
We've all likely been where you are now, and I am basically in your exact position presently, I mean I have all the pussy I want and a car too.
I hope this lasts a very long time for you, and I hope my words don't shrink the duration, but you are not truly happy.
Permanent happiness cannot be found in objects, or mindsets, or living situations.
Soon something will happen to change your current mindset and you will no longer be happy, this will happen over and over again until you've had enough of the game and you will open your mind to the possibility that there is something greater. I will meet you there. :heart:
"Think you're in heaven, but ya living in hell."

The happiness I seek cannot be disturbed.
I don't need or want you to seek it as well, you have your path.




True happiness can't be found here. DUH. All you can do is alleviate the time you do spend here. Except my queen is not an object. She is a Divine Being just like you and I. Big difference.

Truly happy? No, I can't be truly happy until the people of this world stop killing their Mother and each other. I can't be truly happy until people stop being entranced by the material and become mystified by the spiritual. Do not think because I allow myself to share my life with someone and want a good "material" life I do not embrace my spiritual side.

Meet me where? Heaven? Almost made it there as a child, but someone stepped in and said "No." I think most everyone with a near death experience will say they had a choice to move on or go back. I didn't have a choice. Jesus said "No. You're going back to your mother." Fucking Jesus in the middle of rainbows dude, IDK what to tell ya. That's what it's all about. Funny thing is I didn't grow up in a religious household nor did we even go to church, but there He was.

Quote:

yeah said:
I want a soulmate to just appear and be available but that isn't happening

I guess I'm not as good at being happy as you are :shrug:




It's not about being better or worse. I'm not so sure soul-mates exist. True love and love at first sight? Yea I'll buy that.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


Edited by LRG (12/22/16 01:02 PM)


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: LRG]
    #23949113 - 12/22/16 12:59 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I totally relate to that feeling of just being told "No, you will live".

for all I know I was resuscitated by paramedics


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OfflineEywa_devotee
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23950400 - 12/22/16 10:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

The money system will fall to pieces soon enough, then the truth will be openly shown to all for the fraud that it is. I'm not sure it will make people happy though it really needs to happen before any meaningful healing can begin.


--------------------
"Love one another." "To Love is to know me." "Love is the Law, Love under Will." "In Compassion, all sorrows end." Regardless of the Master, the message is the same- Choose love and you shall live, Choose Fear and you shall die. Help bring peace to this Earth: Love one another, and serve others before yourself.


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OfflineLRG
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: Eywa_devotee]
    #23950917 - 12/23/16 06:33 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Eywa_devotee said:
The money system will fall to pieces soon enough, then the truth will be openly shown to all for the fraud that it is. I'm not sure it will make people happy though it really needs to happen before any meaningful healing can begin.




Agreed. Put a better system of "value" in place. The quote in your signature hits the nail on the head.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


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OfflineSirTripAlot
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23952057 - 12/23/16 04:10 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

To the OP, yes I have thought about my death many times. unfortunately, alot of my dear friends(actually brothers) have died. Some I saw before my eyes....
its crazy hearing young men screaming for their moms ( I wish I could un-hear this, everyday). I have always felt immensely guilty for surviving the Marines ...although a got pretty banged up myself.

I also know one doesnt need to see the face of war to feel this way. My suffering is the worst for me...your suffering is the worst for you...there is no "scale" that determines what is worse. With this being said I find life extremely difficult and as others have eluded too....the facade of being happy 24/7. However, in those rare moments of true happiness(like my son smiling to me) all of the bad is worth it somehow. I also know that having a personal relationship with God has saved my life....not preaching....just my experience.

If there was some miraculous pill or chemical....or some magic words that would make this disappear for you;
I would graciously give it to you....we all know this isn't the case, I hope and pray that you find true happiness.


--------------------
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”


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OfflineConnoisseur

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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23956276 - 12/25/16 11:28 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

i thought i wished i was dead, later on i realized i really didnt wish that at all


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OfflineMonikamia
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23967388 - 12/30/16 06:41 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I thought about it many times unfortunately and even still today the thought it comes back to me. It seems that the thought comes to me whenever life gets difficult and just want to give up from being so overwhelmed by it all. Also I have a low self esteem and it's hard for me to see where I have value and worth and still wonder what my purpose is in life. I've learned that it helps me to have goals and actually follow though with what I plan for myself and my future. The main thing I want to do is travel and that is one of the things I look forward to doing and gives me an incentive to stay alive. I think anyone can have a purpose in their life if they give themselves one and one with meaning.


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Offlinezzripz
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: yeah]
    #23970219 - 12/31/16 09:12 AM (7 years, 30 days ago)

of course I have. Even little children will scream it usually after not getting what they want.

We do not know where we came from. We just envisage it--the wish- as an off switch to the on-pain of whatever is making us feel like that.

We know some actually carry it out.

I saw a VERY moving film once called The Bridge . The whole film is looking at people jump to their deaths from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.


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OfflineHalayudha
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Re: Have you ever wished you were dead? [Re: zzripz]
    #23971034 - 12/31/16 02:45 PM (7 years, 30 days ago)

The classic Zen question is, 'Who is it that is wishing?,' and following that line of inquiry to the source - a la Bassui.  . Bassui was a zen master from Japan, who was very hesitant to write in words - yet when asked to by sincerely disciples, he could hardly refuse. . . One famous letter was written to a student facing a serious and, in all likelihood terminal illness -- the famous line, 'You are facing your illness squarely, like a good Zen student,' remained in mind.  Also throughout the letter he would make such (good) comments as, 'There is no illness..' or things like this... (rather paraphrased, but accurate to the spirit, I would say)

Perhaps random, but somewhat related.  To the question at hand, these things are easily overcome - if we believe so.  After all, it's a question of the goings-on in the mind; so naturally, what the mind believes therefore is of significant importance.  To wit -- in a deep realization of an acid trip one might realize -- there's nothing to overcome, and infinitely no problem -- because you are what you are.  To overcome the self is a paradox which never arises, because one is oneself, perfectly.  Words perhaps don't express it, perfectly, yet I know that it's there in many forms, an others have it too.

To the specific question - the best advice I have is, and again, these things are easy to resolve and heal -- set it aside.  Focus on other things.  Enjoy the sunlight of the day, or enjoy the peacefulness of a calm scene.  Set it aside - and if it comes back, set it aside again. 

The main point of it being easy to overcome is that it's within the mind - and so, what the mind believes about it, is the significant decider. 

Very important in all of this, especially in these days, is to have a calm mind; don't have too many scattered lines -- focus on a few, strengthening, avenues of enquiry.  Enlighten oneself with love and light, and give love and light to others -- this invariably returns in the same fashion, sooner or later; this is where the real growth, and the real magic, the deep beauty abides. 

In the meantime, eat healthy, and hug a lot. 

Cheers and peace, all the best wished you.


--------------------
Call me not rebel, though { here at every word
                          {in what I sing
If I no longer hail thee  { King and Lord
                          { Lord and King


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