|
Jean-guy Masta
Railyard Ghost


Registered: 09/23/14
Posts: 1,827
Loc: MT-Hell
|
friend with benefits?
#23937308 - 12/18/16 07:16 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
So, this girl is my friend since like 3 years. about 4 months ago she got out of a 5 year relationship. we been fuckin since like 2 months and we are always together.
thought it was just like friends with benefits, but since a couple weeks she tells me multiple times how she is falling in love with me and stuff, how she never had a spiritual connection like that. but there is a other side of her that also want to live her celibate a bit.
we tell each other everything, since i been having sex with her she had sex with like 7 other people, it was all one night thing tho. and 6 of them was girls.
my question is if its ok if i fuck other people too. i just dont wanna fuck the relationship. she got cheated on every of her past relationship. seems like a sensible string for her. i asked her if it was ok and she was like arent you happy with me ??
not sure how to deal with that, also should i give no fucks or give fucks when she goes out without me? i been not giving fuck, kinda hard tho. definitly makes me work on my jelousy. especially since when shes drinking she becomes such a mess
would of been easier if she never telled me how she love me lol
--------------------

|
Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS



Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
|
|
Quote:
Jean-guy Masta said: my question is if its ok if i fuck other people too. i just dont wanna fuck the relationship. she got cheated on every of her past relationship. seems like a sensible string for her. i asked her if it was ok and she was like arent you happy with me ??
um you literally answered your own question...
But for the sake of the thread...Sit down, have a talk, communicate how you feel. Ask her if you want to be exclusive and be together officially. If all else set boundaries for each other else this is gonna end horribly and you're gonna lose a friend.
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,159
|
|
Cosmic is right. I've seen this exact scenario alot and it's always because the "just friends" person just assumes the other person feels the same. Communicate your intentions right off the bat. Always. Best way to avoid trouble and guilt.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Not worth losing a friend over a relationship. Unfortunately for you I think its too late. Now that you guys are fucking and shes falling in love with you, your friendship is doomed.
|
Jean-guy Masta
Railyard Ghost


Registered: 09/23/14
Posts: 1,827
Loc: MT-Hell
|
|
But i do started to love her too tho. And i already comunicated it. Important part i forgot in the OP lol sorry, we complete each other, everyone thinks were so beautiful together
But the thing is I already know she doenst want that to be official, i know she needs time.
And for the boundaries, i know she gon cross it when shell get drunk. And cry the next morning and be like im so sorryyy. It happened last week. Im not mad at her. It just gets annoying
Im kinda jealous of her freedom and jealous about the other people she sees. Makes me wanna see other people too. But it seems like i cant. Not sure what to do
--------------------

|
FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
|
|
Quote:
Jean-guy Masta said: But i do started to love her too tho. And i already comunicated it. Important part i forgot in the OP lol sorry, we complete each other, everyone thinks were so beautiful together
But the thing is I already know she doenst want that to be official, i know she needs time.
And for the boundaries, i know she gon cross it when shell get drunk. And cry the next morning and be like im so sorryyy. It happened last week. Im not mad at her. It just gets annoying
Im kinda jealous of her freedom and jealous about the other people she sees. Makes me wanna see other people too. But it seems like i cant. Not sure what to do
You are not in a committed relationship so it's fine for you to see/sleep with other people especially since she is also seeing/sleeping with other people. If she doesn't like that then you can ask her if she's ready to be in a relationship and if she says no then keep doing whatever YOU want to do. You can't put your love life on hold for someone who won't commit to you but doesn't want you seeing other people. That's just dumb.
--------------------
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
|
sudly
Quasar Praiser


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,069
|
|
Quote:
we tell each other everything, since i been having sex with her she had sex with like 7 other people, it was all one night thing tho. and 6 of them was girls.
Set some fucking boundaries dude, wtf is this a master/slave setup? Being friends with benefits means you are both able to enjoy each others company but you can focus on yourselves when you're not together, that means you're not supposed to develop codependencies like it sounds you have done.
If you can 'tell each other everything' then you would have no issue communicating that you are friends with benefits and not in a committed relationship.
Be honest, respect yourself, speak up on what your expectations are and say what you want, which as I gather is only friends with benefits.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
|
Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,818
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 9 hours, 5 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Jean-guy Masta said: So, this girl is my friend since like 3 years. about 4 months ago she got out of a 5 year relationship. we been fuckin since like 2 months and we are always together.
thought it was just like friends with benefits, but since a couple weeks she tells me multiple times how she is falling in love with me and stuff, how she never had a spiritual connection like that. but there is a other side of her that also want to live her celibate a bit.
we tell each other everything, since i been having sex with her she had sex with like 7 other people, it was all one night thing tho. and 6 of them was girls.
my question is if its ok if i fuck other people too. i just dont wanna fuck the relationship. she got cheated on every of her past relationship. seems like a sensible string for her. i asked her if it was ok and she was like arent you happy with me ??
not sure how to deal with that, also should i give no fucks or give fucks when she goes out without me? i been not giving fuck, kinda hard tho. definitly makes me work on my jelousy. especially since when shes drinking she becomes such a mess
would of been easier if she never telled me how she love me lol
1. Friends with benefits aren't always together for 2 months...
2. She starting having feelings for you because you guys are always together.
3. As for the sex thing, when you're not always together, she's fucking someone else, so yeah, go fuck everyone you want.
4. No matter what happens here, it won't work long term. Just go with the flow.
--------------------
|
sudly
Quasar Praiser


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,069
|
Re: friend with benefits? [Re: Patlal]
#23938901 - 12/18/16 06:36 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
No matter what happens here, it won't work long term. Just go with the flow.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
|
Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,818
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 9 hours, 5 minutes
|
Re: friend with benefits? [Re: Patlal]
#23938904 - 12/18/16 06:39 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
Jean-guy Masta said: So, this girl is my friend since like 3 years. about 4 months ago she got out of a 5 year relationship. we been fuckin since like 2 months and we are always together.
thought it was just like friends with benefits, but since a couple weeks she tells me multiple times how she is falling in love with me and stuff, how she never had a spiritual connection like that. but there is a other side of her that also want to live her celibate a bit.
we tell each other everything, since i been having sex with her she had sex with like 7 other people, it was all one night thing tho. and 6 of them was girls.
my question is if its ok if i fuck other people too. i just dont wanna fuck the relationship. she got cheated on every of her past relationship. seems like a sensible string for her. i asked her if it was ok and she was like arent you happy with me ??
not sure how to deal with that, also should i give no fucks or give fucks when she goes out without me? i been not giving fuck, kinda hard tho. definitly makes me work on my jelousy. especially since when shes drinking she becomes such a mess
would of been easier if she never telled me how she love me lol
1. Friends with benefits aren't always together for 2 months...
2. She starting having feelings for you because you guys are always together.
3. As for the sex thing, when you're not always together, she's fucking someone else, so yeah, go fuck everyone you want.
4. No matter what happens here, it won't work long term. Just go with the flow.
EDIT:
5. If she has been having sex with multiple people before and claiming she loved one of them, then she didn't get cheated on. She fuck other people, he fucked other people. That's how it works. If she thought the guy would tolerate her going around with him getting nothing, she was delusional.
--------------------
|
sudly
Quasar Praiser


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,069
|
Re: friend with benefits? [Re: Patlal]
#23938925 - 12/18/16 06:47 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
It sounds like she wants an open relationship but isn't telling OP about her expectations.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
|
|