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Peyote Road
Stranger

Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
Loc: Great Lakes State
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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feels like the edges of my ego got burned
#23928353 - 12/15/16 04:22 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I tripped on amanita muscaria a couple days ago and had an incredible experience where I saw beyond the veil of this world and felt the light of God/my own Spirit shining through my broken and shattered psyche. I wanted to speak about something which has been happening to me on trips though and see if anyone can relate or give me pointers.
So it seems like on a trip, I will either gain, or lose. I'll always have revelations, but I mean gain or lose in terms of my state of mind afterward and the amount of energy flowing through it. I recently read a book called the teachings of the peyote shamans where they share a practice called the five points of attention. The author of this book says that using the methods of these shamans, he was able to take peyote and experience a gain in spiritual awareness with no sense of diminishment to his regular self. I feel like that is what I have been searching for, because often after a trip I would feel like I had gained spiritual knowledge but at the expense of my mind/ego.
On my recent amanita trip I felt like I caught a glimpse of how this would be, as for a moment I felt filled up with light and spirit but with no diminshment to myself in any way. Unfortunately, I was tired when I took the mushroom and decided to smoke some marijuana to try to help me focus more on the trip. I ended up smoking too much marijuana, which caused me to go into a somewhat paranoid state which caused me to try to turn away from what I was seeing/experiencing. I feel like this turning away/recoiling back from where the trip is going causes a "burning effect" where the ego feels diminished (by diminished I mean a sort of blankness of mind, feeling disconnected from one's emotions and the flow of life) after the trip. DOes this make any sense?
I feel pretty good after this trip, better than I felt before it, but I also feel like I burned my ego and it needs to heal. I am wondering if anyone could give me pointers on how to heal this burning effect (ive had it happen before and I know it heals in time but I am impatient) and how to avoid it in the future? Number one thing I will do is stop smoking marijuana which I know I need to do anyway.
-------------------- The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra
Edited by Peyote Road (12/15/16 04:30 AM)
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: feels like the edges of my ego got burned [Re: Peyote Road]
#23935621 - 12/17/16 02:43 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have explored my consciousness. I started posting after a pretty intense trip out on a fatal dose of mushrooms. I basically ripped open a portal or vortex; a black hole just terrorizing my internal and external reality. Full on auditory and visual hallucinations. I felt like I was traveling on a rollercoaster at the speed of light. Time lost all meaning. On previous trips, I was just in awe watching a lightning storm and laughing at the most random things. I pondered why is their madness in the world when everything is just hilarious.
I refrain from marijuana. It makes me paranoid as fuckkkkkkkkk. I do not enjoy that. After a recent experience with edibles, I laughed my ass off but, I was fucking retarded. I couldn't drive. I was fucked for like 16hours. I woke up burned out terribly.
Every trip brings me some sort of level of consciousness. I have sudden influx of awareness. My mind is blown. I have had these 'life altering' awareness. I saw a deck of cards shuffled and 'being in the knowing.' I mean, knowing the flipped card you randomly pick. Now lets take the universe. Flipping through every and all infinite potential decisions; being pre cognitive in knowing of infinite, 'this' decision is the best for me. I was blown away.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: feels like the edges of my ego got burned [Re: finalexplosion]
#23935760 - 12/17/16 03:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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revelations and insights on these substances are not important unless you plan on taking the substance everyday - and that cant be done. So you have to have some sort of daily work to do to make your experience live in your life. You probably know all this, just a friendly reminder.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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