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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
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All my ex's suck at breakfast.
    #23925524 - 12/14/16 10:47 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.


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InvisibleChinChiller
Male


Registered: 07/03/10
Posts: 3,270
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: vandago]
    #23925534 - 12/14/16 10:51 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Most important meal of the day.
Also thinking back on it, I have always been the better cook in every relationship I have been in.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: ChinChiller]
    #23925805 - 12/14/16 12:21 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Who the fuck doesn't know how to make coffee?


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Registered: 09/24/08
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23925861 - 12/14/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Who the fuck doesn't know how to make coffee?



If you never actually made it before you'd have no idea how much ground coffee to use. Also if there were whole beans your head would explode


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: vandago]
    #23927366 - 12/14/16 07:20 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I used to be the breakfast Queen. Now I just eat a fruit smoothie, boiled eggs and black coffee pretty much every single day.

I can still make a mean hollandaise though, I'm sure.

:bunny:


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InvisibleCosmic_Flame
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: yogabunny]
    #23927412 - 12/14/16 07:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
I used to be the breakfast Queen. Now I just eat a fruit smoothie, boiled eggs and black coffee pretty much every single day.

I can still make a mean hollandaise though, I'm sure.

:bunny:



niceeee...literally what ive been meaning to start doing, making smoothies for breakfast. I make boiled, over easy or scrambled eggs like a couple of times a week. I usually have a bagel with my black coffee though.


Lol sucks op, I don't think I could date someone who couldn't cook anything. I personally really enjoy cooking/baking for others. It brings me great joy to see them gobble up my yum yums :lol:


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Pull the blinds and change their minds....


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23928025 - 12/14/16 11:10 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Who the fuck doesn't know how to make coffee?




I never drink coffee, so that's the one thing I don't know how to make. I've never owned a coffee maker.


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InvisibleZacksJourney
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Registered: 05/02/16
Posts: 543
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #23928341 - 12/15/16 03:58 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

That's because there are far less "old fashion" ladies than before, who could cook, wash, clean, knit ect. Now they want to be like men and have a career.

It's the same as if I'd like to work full time job in my house running around my kids, cleaning and doing laundry, why do that?

And don't bother yourself with that, usually, men cook much better than women.
Same story with my wife.


--------------------


ALL MUSHROOMS ARE EDIBLE, some are just only edible once.

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Crystal G]
    #23928939 - 12/15/16 11:03 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah it occurred to me shortly after posting that I had to teach my brother how to make coffee when he was 21.


Idk how you can be American and not slightly addicted to coffee tho.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Offlinenuentoter
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23932501 - 12/16/16 01:29 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

My wife is an awesome cook in most respects but she cannot cook an egg or pancake worth a shit. I usually do the breakfast thing when you do a big breakfast.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina


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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: vandago]
    #23933125 - 12/16/16 05:41 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




Today, you got a lot of women running with the "don't need a man" narrative, running through dongs head and poon first till the playboys stop calling when sexual market value has plummeted. After that ship has sailed, it is an entirely different narrative.

Today, women can drink like her father. Can't cook like her mother.

OP, you aren't doing it right. #Netflix&&&Chill FTW


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: finalexplosion] * 2
    #23933181 - 12/16/16 06:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

^^Am I the only one who thinks this guy is too obsessed with women? He reminds me of Elliot Rodger; a whiny kid who's overly obsessed with women and getting laid.


Edited by Crystal G (12/16/16 06:21 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Crystal G]
    #23933222 - 12/16/16 06:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Ill make you breakfast, OP.


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Offlinenuentoter
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Registered: 09/17/08
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Crystal G]
    #23933343 - 12/16/16 07:07 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

finalexplosion said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




Today, you got a lot of women running with the "don't need a man" narrative, running through dongs head and poon first till the playboys stop calling when sexual market value has plummeted. After that ship has sailed, it is an entirely different narrative.

Today, women can drink like her father. Can't cook like her mother.

OP, you aren't doing it right. #Netflix&&&Chill FTW




Quote:

Crystal G said:
^^Am I the only one who thinks this guy is too obsessed with women? He reminds me of Elliot Rodger; a whiny kid who's overly obsessed with women and getting laid.





too bad the degenerate and pedo list is gone......  yb

he was on it


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina


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Offlinefinalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Crystal G]
    #23933483 - 12/16/16 07:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
^^Am I the only one who thinks this guy is too obsessed with women? He reminds me of Elliot Rodger; a whiny kid who's overly obsessed with women and getting laid.




How is egg freezing coming... wait wut?


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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InvisibleCosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS
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Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: finalexplosion] * 4
    #23933497 - 12/16/16 07:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

ban urself explosion

:begone:


--------------------
Pull the blinds and change their minds....


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
    #23933526 - 12/16/16 07:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

When I read this thread title I said it in my head to the tune of "all my ex's live in Texas"


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: nuentoter] * 2
    #23933558 - 12/16/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

nuentoter said:
Quote:

finalexplosion said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




Today, you got a lot of women running with the "don't need a man" narrative, running through dongs head and poon first till the playboys stop calling when sexual market value has plummeted. After that ship has sailed, it is an entirely different narrative.

Today, women can drink like her father. Can't cook like her mother.

OP, you aren't doing it right. #Netflix&&&Chill FTW




Quote:

Crystal G said:
^^Am I the only one who thinks this guy is too obsessed with women? He reminds me of Elliot Rodger; a whiny kid who's overly obsessed with women and getting laid.





too bad the degenerate and pedo list is gone......  yb

he was on it





Crystal was on it too, and I had nothing to do with its deletion.


Anyway, yes, finalexplosion is a yawn fest. Literally posts the same content over and over and over again. Boring.


--------------------


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Offlinenuentoter
conduit
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: yogabunny]
    #23933591 - 12/16/16 08:17 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I dunno what went on with that getting taken down but I honestly thought it was a positive thing.

Crystal G, not to be rude to you, but I think you'd have to agree how some of the fucked up sexual shit you've posted over the years could easily be seen as being scummy. (picking words carefully  :cookiemonster: ) So having an awareness about people who may sympathize or be sexual deviants to help inform other folks around who may be sensitive to these things.

Nothing personal Yoga I just like pickin on you and singling you out haha


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: nuentoter]
    #23933969 - 12/16/16 11:26 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

finalexplosion said:
How is egg freezing coming... wait wut?




The only person obsessed with egg-freezing in here is you.




Quote:

nuentoter said:
I dunno what went on with that getting taken down but I honestly thought it was a positive thing.

Crystal G, not to be rude to you, but I think you'd have to agree how some of the fucked up sexual shit you've posted over the years could easily be seen as being scummy. (picking words carefully  :cookiemonster: ) So having an awareness about people who may sympathize or be sexual deviants to help inform other folks around who may be sensitive to these things.




I vaguely remember seeing that thread and laughing at my name being mentioned in there :lolsy:


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Invisibleplurfekt
Finally Grateful

Registered: 12/14/09
Posts: 1,919
Loc: USA
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: vandago]
    #23934470 - 12/17/16 04:15 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




Pretty much every girl I've ever been with said I was the first to make them breakfast in bed.  I cannot recall a single instance where they did not rejoice in surprise.  I had one girl refuse to let me do it because she was highly independent, which struck me as odd...


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Registered: 09/24/08
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: plurfekt]
    #23935822 - 12/17/16 04:07 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

plurfekt said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




Pretty much every girl I've ever been with said I was the first to make them breakfast in bed.  I cannot recall a single instance where they did not rejoice in surprise.  I had one girl refuse to let me do it because she was highly independent, which struck me as odd...



Yeah, Im with you on this, idk why your ex being terrible at breakfast would matter if you're awesome at it. In fact, what a waste of skills, who needs some bitch in the kitchen trying to Randy behind you while you're cooking?



Woman, if you put creme fraiche on my omlete Ima hafta smack a bitch


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: vandago]
    #23938345 - 12/18/16 03:02 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




If you know what you want and you know how to do it. Do it yourself


--------------------


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Invisibleplurfekt
Finally Grateful

Registered: 12/14/09
Posts: 1,919
Loc: USA
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Patlal]
    #23938854 - 12/18/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




If you know what you want and you know how to do it. Do it yourself




Sometimes the effort (and performance skill) shows affection and appreciation though.

Otherwise, I agree.


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: plurfekt]
    #23938862 - 12/18/16 06:25 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

plurfekt said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




If you know what you want and you know how to do it. Do it yourself




Sometimes the effort (and performance skill) shows affection and appreciation though.

Otherwise, I agree.




You can't start expecting things. Things just happen when they happen. Let her do her own thing.


--------------------


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Registered: 09/24/08
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Patlal]
    #23938872 - 12/18/16 06:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

plurfekt said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just realized this may in fact be a huge part of my relationship problems.

I am a guru at breakfast.  My ex's couldn't even make coffee.




If you know what you want and you know how to do it. Do it yourself




Sometimes the effort (and performance skill) shows affection and appreciation though.

Otherwise, I agree.




You can't start expecting things. Things just happen when they happen. Let her do her own thing.



Yeah, like of all the stupid things to expect out of someone... cooking skills? This is the kind of shit women dump guys over and then later realize they're actually just batshit insane


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: bloodsheen]
    #23938877 - 12/18/16 06:29 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

plurfekt said:


Sometimes the effort (and performance skill) shows affection and appreciation though.

Otherwise, I agree.




You can't start expecting things. Things just happen when they happen. Let her do her own thing.



Yeah, like of all the stupid things to expect out of someone... cooking skills? This is the kind of shit women dump guys over and then later realize they're actually just batshit insane




Well, unless she lacks every basic skill... Cooking skills should be learned by everyone, but it doesnt work that way.


--------------------


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Invisibleplurfekt
Finally Grateful

Registered: 12/14/09
Posts: 1,919
Loc: USA
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Patlal]
    #23938940 - 12/18/16 06:52 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Just my honest opinion, if you cannot cook basic meals, you're a fucking retard.

:shrug:


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Registered: 09/24/08
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: plurfekt]
    #23939084 - 12/18/16 08:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

plurfekt said:
Just my honest opinion, if you cannot cook basic meals, you're a fucking retard.

:shrug:



The worse somebody is at something, the more amazed they are when somebody is good at it :shrug:

I'm a pretty great cook, but I'm not a master by any means. A girl who sucks ass a cooking would think I'm fucking Gordon Ramsey, a girl who is good at cooking would have a million criticisms about my technique.

I can't play three notes on any instrument in the world. If a girl could play violin for me while I made her dinner, I would absolutely fucking destroy her in bed (after she helped with dishes)


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: bloodsheen]
    #23939468 - 12/18/16 11:27 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

plurfekt said:
Just my honest opinion, if you cannot cook basic meals, you're a fucking retard.

:shrug:




My dad is one of these people, and it boggles my mind just how he survived before getting married.

Like how does somebody with a PhD not even know how to cook a meal? Even a kindergartener can cook.

I'll even put it in the simplest of directions like "Just heat it in the pan for 10 minutes each side on medium high," and he'll be like, "How?!?!??!?!" :bored:



Quote:

bloodsheen said:
The worse somebody is at something, the more amazed they are when somebody is good at it :shrug:

I'm a pretty great cook, but I'm not a master by any means. A girl who sucks ass a cooking would think I'm fucking Gordon Ramsey, a girl who is good at cooking would have a million criticisms about my technique.

I can't play three notes on any instrument in the world. If a girl could play violin for me while I made her dinner, I would absolutely fucking destroy her in bed (after she helped with dishes)




I consider myself a pretty good cook. Not professional level though, I'm just learning how to flambe and do other more complex techniques.

Technically I was a professional cook though, I used to work as a sushi chef. :awesome:


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Invisibleplurfekt
Finally Grateful

Registered: 12/14/09
Posts: 1,919
Loc: USA
Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: Crystal G]
    #23939484 - 12/18/16 11:38 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

plurfekt said:
Just my honest opinion, if you cannot cook basic meals, you're a fucking retard.

:shrug:




My dad is one of these people, and it boggles my mind just how he survived before getting married.

Like how does somebody with a PhD not even know how to cook a meal? Even a kindergartener can cook.

I'll even put it in the simplest of directions like "Just heat it in the pan for 10 minutes each side on medium high," and he'll be like, "How?!?!??!?!" :bored:





I imagine my disabled step-father who was "never bright" to begin with is even worse :facepalm3:

I was deeply missed for my cooking while I was in cali, and deeply prized for my work in the kitchen in cali.

There was some kid there from North Carolina who would sign his name as Lucifer (he proclaimed he was a Satanist, I ridiculed him terribly until I found out he was schizophrenic, then I felt kinda bad) - anyway, you should have seen this mf'er try to make rice.  I'd never seen such a desperate cry for help.

Another schizophrenic (this kid was my roomie and was actually cool as shit, funny as HELL too and not in the laughing at him so much as with him kinda way; used to talk women with him before bed every night was hilarious AF cuz he made it a ritual and couldn't go to bed otherwise) anyway, the poor bastard was cooking frozen chicken breasts in a pot of boiling water with zero help from the chef who was our house manager (he is on this season of Hells Kitchen, actually - name was Johnny and he was a total asshole but I liked his japanese knife set...which he did not know I borrowed a few times - sucker)

anyway, I sat there and taught him how to marinade and fry chicken.  I wonder if he ever figured it out.

'merica


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OfflinePsilopsychic
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Re: All my ex's suck at breakfast. [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #23944765 - 12/20/16 10:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

FruitOfLife said:
When I read this thread title I said it in my head to the tune of "all my ex's live in Texas"



i love you for saying that x D like so much.


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