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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread 1
#23922728 - 12/13/16 01:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Whining is good for the soul. Head hurt? Sprain something? Caught the flu? Post here when you don't feel good but don't want to make thread. I figured it'd be good to have a thread for less dier physical ailments and complaints.
Please also feel free to share tips for feeling better with fellow Shroomerites.
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CookieCrumbs
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23922737 - 12/13/16 01:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'll start. My acid reflux has been awful lately. My stomach hurts, my chest hurts, my throat hurts, and bile tastes horrible.
Ugh
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Huskies
Boop More Snoots



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#23922753 - 12/13/16 01:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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My biggest problem in life are my terrible procrastination habits & addiction to the internet. I'm not a neet or anything, but I spend so much of my spare time on the internet even though I want to put my time for good use. It's paradoxical, but that's how it is.
-------------------- I call them Huskies cause you tell them to go "Mush! Mush""
Edited by Huskies (12/13/16 02:01 PM)
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goldcaphunter
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Huskies]
#23922907 - 12/13/16 02:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have a cold
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#23923083 - 12/13/16 03:25 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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 I keep kinda wishing I'd catch a cold. I feel like I could use a few days of snot face.
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Free time is the only time
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23923307 - 12/13/16 05:01 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Definitely the first/worst cold I've had in a long time. Maybe you'll get your wish soon, everyone seemed to be sick around me today
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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rogue_pixie
faerydae



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23925173 - 12/14/16 08:04 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm sorry to hear you feel so rotten, Cookie.
I like this thread idea...I feel like shite as well.
I just feel absolutely exhausted all of the time and I'm so pissed because I still have this chalazion and my new glasses still haven't arrived. The world is shit when you can't see properly. I have no motivation to do anything right now but hide indoors. Hate being indoors though it depresses me. Two docs have said I can wear my contact lenses with the cyst but my gut is telling me not to. Feeling conflicted and very depressed. I don't trust doctors though.
-------------------- "Whatever you do, you need to keep moving. Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally). Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP
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CookieCrumbs
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: rogue_pixie] 1
#23925266 - 12/14/16 08:53 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
rogue_pixie said: I just feel absolutely exhausted all of the time and I'm so pissed because I still have this chalazion
Thought you were talking about a pokemon at first 
That does suck tho. I don't take a doctors word for much of anything seeing what they've put me and my family through with their terrible advice and "medicine." it's not really their fault. Western medicine is corporatized and naturally sucks as a result.
I hope your glasses come in soon. Being cooped up sucks too.
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Free time is the only time
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23925429 - 12/14/16 10:09 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's official. I feel like shit. The other night after consuming too many beers, I ate a bunch of shitty wheat pasta and some other shit dairy yogurt and about an hour after passing out woke up sweating profusely. Felt like both my legs were gonna cramp up. The other night I got leg cramps, the calf would be welcome, but when it's a hamstring, it really sucks. Threw me out of bed onto the ground yelping in pain.
I hate this fucking weather, driving in it sucks, it's cold as hell, I had to weatherize one house for fear the pipes would break. Can't drive up to the house on the hill with all the shitty icy snow, barely can pull off the road without risk of getting stuck. The other day tried to be a hero in the snow and managed to get my car stuck and wedged against my shed. The AAA assholes refused to come out and get me unstuck what the fuck I've been paying them for like 29 years? "It's too dangerous for us to drive in the snow you are on your own getting out". So much for 24 hour roadside assistance.
I hate the fucking holidays, being alone during them, having to listen to Christmas music, having to see Christmas lights wasting energy and causing more global warming, I hate people who ask what your plans are for the holidays, then look at you like a freak when you tell them you are a loner and have none.
I don't want to be joyful, I don't want to sing Christmas carols, and please don't invite me in for hot chocolate. I refuse to be the little drummer boy again, and don't make me play that song on my drum again, I promise I'll be a good boy.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23925442 - 12/14/16 10:16 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Bro you're welcome to come join me for a cup of hot chocolate. I hate holidays too. We could be loners that don't listen to Christmas music together~
Beer and pasta and yogurt sounds like a bad recipe tho...
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Free time is the only time
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23925473 - 12/14/16 10:28 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Bro you're welcome to come join me for a cup of hot chocolate. I hate holidays too. We could be loners that don't listen to Christmas music together~
Beer and pasta and yogurt sounds like a bad recipe tho...
OK as long as you have those little marshmallows.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23925549 - 12/14/16 10:55 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Of course. I have cool whip too 
I have been digging the hot chocolate lately tho. Which, come to think of it, might be why my reflux is acting up so bad. Technicality have a mild chocolate allergy. It's lame.
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Free time is the only time
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rogue_pixie
faerydae



Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
Loc: UK
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23926131 - 12/14/16 01:50 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:
rogue_pixie said: I just feel absolutely exhausted all of the time and I'm so pissed because I still have this chalazion
Thought you were talking about a pokemon at first 
That does suck tho. I don't take a doctors word for much of anything seeing what they've put me and my family through with their terrible advice and "medicine." it's not really their fault. Western medicine is corporatized and naturally sucks as a result.
I hope your glasses come in soon. Being cooped up sucks too.
it does sound a bit like a pokemon...trust me to get something as ridiculous sounding!
yeah, I hate Christmas too. I don't think I've ever had a good Christmas...but they've definitely got progressively worse and worse. Around about this time last year I felt suicidal. it's the time of year when most suicides are committed. A miserable time. Why must people insist upon it. We're a moronic species.
-------------------- "Whatever you do, you need to keep moving. Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally). Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23926579 - 12/14/16 03:39 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Of course. I have cool whip too 
I have been digging the hot chocolate lately tho. Which, come to think of it, might be why my reflux is acting up so bad. Technicality have a mild chocolate allergy. It's lame.
Do you think that women like chocolate more than men? That seems to be true from my observations. However I must admit a while back to getting pretty much addicted to the 70% cacao bars, it's like some kind of drug at that concentration. When I started needing one first thing in the morning, I had to give it up!
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Huskies
Boop More Snoots



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23926608 - 12/14/16 03:46 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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All anecdotal evidence points to women liking chocolate more. Could be something to do with evolutionary psychology. Humans are programmed to like sweets and fats because they are calorie dense and rare in nature, so they would be perfect to gorge on to ensue later survival, of course that has backfired with our current food habits.
If that is the case, which it seems to be, maybe women have higher cravings for those since they have higher fat levels and a need to feed their children.
Evolutionary psychology, it makes sense but makes you sound like a misogynist to the extra sensitive.
-------------------- I call them Huskies cause you tell them to go "Mush! Mush""
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CookieCrumbs
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: rogue_pixie] 1
#23926644 - 12/14/16 03:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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There is a scientific eexplanation believe it or not. Women need and use more magnesium than men. Combine that with hormonal cravings and the obvious answer is chocolate (as cocoa is high in magnesium) not to mention it has things that boost your mood and that's part of why women crave it particularly when they are hormonal.
Pure unsweetened cocoa is really good for you. Unfortunately pure unprocessed cocoa has an extremely bitter flavor. I do go with the dark chocolates when I buy tho. I can do up to 87% if its garhdeli or however you spell it. Wannabe godiva brand by comparison milk chocolate usually has between 10 and 20% cocoa. Which is probably how alot of unwary ladies binge.
Fuckin 
Quote:
rogue_pixie said:
it does sound a bit like a pokemon...trust me to get something as ridiculous sounding!
yeah, I hate Christmas too. I don't think I've ever had a good Christmas...but they've definitely got progressively worse and worse. Around about this time last year I felt suicidal. it's the time of year when most suicides are committed. A miserable time. Why must people insist upon it. We're a moronic species.
I don't get it either. "Lets spend all of our money and do a ridiculous amount of work, trample people, and drive like assholes all month, so that we can sit around with people we hate for making us do all this bullshit."
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LunarEclipse
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23926703 - 12/14/16 04:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Nice explanation. Yeah I was hooked on the Ghirardelli stuff, high test. Hadn't heard the magnesium part of it. I do think many people are really low on magnesium, and too high on calcium. Dairy?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23926816 - 12/14/16 04:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm feeling pretty good.
I've been using a blood pressure medication for about a week now and it's been nice.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse] 1
#23928273 - 12/15/16 02:39 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Of course. I have cool whip too 
I have been digging the hot chocolate lately tho. Which, come to think of it, might be why my reflux is acting up so bad. Technicality have a mild chocolate allergy. It's lame.
Do you think that women like chocolate more than men? That seems to be true from my observations. However I must admit a while back to getting pretty much addicted to the 70% cacao bars, it's like some kind of drug at that concentration. When I started needing one first thing in the morning, I had to give it up!
progesterone
and to the thread topic
I currently feel ok but I was feeling pretty poopy earlier. I had some chocolate and now I feel better, *says hooray in a monotone like ben stein voice
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
#23928724 - 12/15/16 09:36 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: I'm feeling pretty good.
I've been using a blood pressure medication for about a week now and it's been nice.
Low or high? what meds?
I have ridiculously high blood pressure most days. I'm ignoring it because I want to keep smoking cancer sticks. And in part it's cuz I'm stressed and that of course is feeding my high bp too.
I need better drugs or something.
Quote:
Cosmic_Flame said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Of course. I have cool whip too 
I have been digging the hot chocolate lately tho. Which, come to think of it, might be why my reflux is acting up so bad. Technicality have a mild chocolate allergy. It's lame.
Do you think that women like chocolate more than men? That seems to be true from my observations. However I must admit a while back to getting pretty much addicted to the 70% cacao bars, it's like some kind of drug at that concentration. When I started needing one first thing in the morning, I had to give it up!
progesterone
and to the thread topic
I currently feel ok but I was feeling pretty poopy earlier. I had some chocolate and now I feel better, *says hooray in a monotone like ben stein voice
Most ladies get PMS because progesterone levels nose dive. So...?
...Chocolate is legitimate medicine tho.
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Ras Rising
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23929426 - 12/15/16 01:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Physically: Im quite out of shape, and desire to rebuild lost time and lost muscle mass from the past few years of ebbs and flows. Poly-substance abuse, and general malaise.
Mentally: I struggle with not being in school pursuing my dreams, trying to find a job, living so far out in the country alone most of the day, rarely see friends. Always craving a high. Wanting re-connection to a life I once knew and loved.
With all that said. Each day is a new, and with it and every second as much as I can im striving and making the positive steps to ensure success and realignment to my higher self.
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To be altruistic and humble, to spread love and positivity where ever I go.*
*Does not include the Romp
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23929922 - 12/15/16 04:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:
Cosmic_Flame said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Of course. I have cool whip too 
I have been digging the hot chocolate lately tho. Which, come to think of it, might be why my reflux is acting up so bad. Technicality have a mild chocolate allergy. It's lame.
Do you think that women like chocolate more than men? That seems to be true from my observations. However I must admit a while back to getting pretty much addicted to the 70% cacao bars, it's like some kind of drug at that concentration. When I started needing one first thing in the morning, I had to give it up!
progesterone
and to the thread topic
I currently feel ok but I was feeling pretty poopy earlier. I had some chocolate and now I feel better, *says hooray in a monotone like ben stein voice
Most ladies get PMS because progesterone levels nose dive. So...?
...Chocolate is legitimate medicine tho.
exactly
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23929953 - 12/15/16 04:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:
sudly said: I'm feeling pretty good.
I've been using a blood pressure medication for about a week now and it's been nice.
Low or high? what meds?
I have ridiculously high blood pressure most days. I'm ignoring it because I want to keep smoking cancer sticks. And in part it's cuz I'm stressed and that of course is feeding my high bp too.
I need better drugs or something.
Yeah the meds(Alphablockers) are for high blood pressure but I also use it because it reduces the fight or flight response by stimulating and eventually numbing the sympathetic nervous system.

It's also used to treat nightmares related to (C)PTSD.
Additionally I'm now about a month without tobacco since realising the additives and addictives are the ammonium salts(ammonium carbonate) which tailors add to the tobacco to increase the bioavailability of nicotine when it's smoked. aka, the ammonium salts make the nicotine absorb far quicker into your lungs.
P.S. Ammonium salts are toxins and they do not have 100% of their toxins removed when washed with acid.
Quote:
'Addition of substances which increase the bioavailability of nicotine.' "Increase the bioavailability of nicotine by adding alkalising ingredients which increase the pH of tobacco (such as ammonium compounds). At higher pH (pH >8.0) more nicotine is in its free uncharged form, which would therefore more easily pass the (lung) membrane i.e. higher absorption leading to higher blood and brain nicotine levels. For details see section 3.8.3.2 on ammonia and other compounds affecting smoke pH." http://ec.europa.eu/health/scientific_committees/opinions_layman/tobacco/en/l-3/5.htm
Quote:
Corporation in 1964 patented a tobacco substitute “in which ammonia salts are used to inhibit benz-a-pyrene formation, and in 1967 British American Tobacco researchers reported similar reductions with potassium carbonate" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2424107/
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly]
#23930114 - 12/15/16 04:59 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah I read you quit. 
The reason I didn't respond earlier is because its good you quit. And I would be tempted to mention there are additive free cigarettes. Which I've been smoking for about 3 years. I'm also on welbutirin which blocks nicotine getting from my brain.
It is purely compulsive habit and lack of motivation for me.
Tho I am interested in your meds since I have anxiety issues and commonly have panic attacks. me a brand name?
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23930141 - 12/15/16 05:07 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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The GP wasn't very adamant about prescribing them to me but if you've done your research and you believe you need it they are there to help you.
There are risks involved and because the blood pressure is being lowered users could faint if they are unprepared or if they get up too quickly.
I have minipress but it's really something you need to look up yourself and talk to your doctor about.
I might be open to organic tobacco in the future but I have such little trust in manufacturers now that idk. I find it interesting you are using meds to reduce the effectiveness of nicotine though you continue to smoke it? For me my compulsion came from the immediate sensations of a 'nicotine high' that was okay for a minute but was somewhat sickening.
I do still like bud as it provides intermediate sensations and doesn't make me feel ill or nauseous.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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RJ Tubs 202


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23930847 - 12/15/16 08:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Whining is good for the soul.
Seeking support and validation for our negativity simply makes it stronger.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23930902 - 12/15/16 08:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Psychology is more complicated than that. You've told me something along those likes several times now and to some degrees you are right. But you're telling this to a person who has experienced psychosis due to repression of all the silly little shit we can whine about on a message board.
Seeking support when you feel down can do alot of good. Just venting shit out does good.
Dwelling and feeling a need to be coddled is indeed toxic but if that's your problem YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT. Bring that shit out in the open so you can address it. It's the best way. I've seen alot of people try to cover up and ignore their problems, never vent their stresses, always fight to be stoic, and that is very toxic and damaging over time.
So if you have more advice go ahead and share but as it stands your comment is irrelevant and detrimental to the purpose of the thread.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly]
#23930937 - 12/15/16 09:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: The GP wasn't very adamant about prescribing them to me but if you've done your research and you believe you need it they are there to help you.
There are risks involved and because the blood pressure is being lowered users could faint if they are unprepared or if they get up too quickly.
I have minipress but it's really something you need to look up yourself and talk to your doctor about.
I might be open to organic tobacco in the future but I have such little trust in manufacturers now that idk. I find it interesting you are using meds to reduce the effectiveness of nicotine though you continue to smoke it? For me my compulsion came from the immediate sensations of a 'nicotine high' that was okay for a minute but was somewhat sickening.
I do still like bud as it provides intermediate sensations and doesn't make me feel ill or nauseous.
I tend not to start any new drugs until I'm pretty certain about what I'm getting into. Just curious, I'll look into it 
I actually smoke little enough I get almost no nicotine in my brain. I get a nauseating nicotine rush when I forget to take my meds now. I'm hoping I'll be ready for another go at quitting in a few months.
Work and home life stress me out really bad and feed my anxiety. It's a long story but I've used the ritual of smoking in order to be a "normal" person. It's helped me function and push my comfort zone when I really didn't have anything else. So I was in a decent place early last year and was down to one smoke a day but got overwhelmed with school n family shit happened and now I'm back to averaging several panic attacks a month. And about a pack a week.
I honestly think it is my strict composure that gives me spontaneous panic attacks when I don't have anything to actively worry/be nervous about. Rather sucks.
But I know a change of environment is gonna do me alot of good so that's what I'm working toward
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Free time is the only time
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RJ Tubs 202


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23931017 - 12/15/16 09:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT. Bring that shit out in the open so you can address it.
What's to "address" about feeling like shit? Our emotions come and go like the weather.
You opened with "Head hurt? Sprain something? Caught the flu?". Not psychosis.
When we want to bitch about life, we seek validation.
Stuff like "I hate Christmas." and "I hate the weather" does reveal how we disturb ourselves.
So a thread like this is educational.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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No you fool the point is that ventilation is good.
The reason we are social creatures is that we bound and rebound ideas off each other. I'm considering alot with sudly about my blood pressure and smoking. And I'm sure some people learned more about chocolate. And all the while one of the most important parts is you don't have to be alone. You don't have to coop everything up that bothers you, even if IRL we all pretty much have to.
Bitching alone serves no purpose. Venting and conversing do. In fact I find bitching alone tends to make you feel alone. So I made a safe place for everyone to bitch together.
Edit: and I obviously meant that specific sentence for more serious psychological problems. Ones you are alluding to. But you seem tunnel visioned on the idea. Are you projecting? or is this something you learned in new age zen training?
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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I rarely if ever had more than 2 silver cigarettes a day because I only needed a tiny hit of nicotine.
I'm definitely with you on nicotine being helpful in stressful situations but personally I found that the overall stress of smoking cigarettes caused me more stress than it resolved especially as the effect wore off so quickly.
Alpha blocker meds, bud(single pipe hits), lots of fruit/food(nutri-bullet) and some basic exercise(10 mins push ups n whatnot) have been good at making a change for the better, it hasn't been long but I have felt more in control of my life since.
The meds I take are like a harder version of beta-blockers. Beta blockers have less if any risks and are great for situational(speeches etc) anxiety attacks as they reduce the release of cortisol/adrenaline in your cardiac system reducing the physical symptoms of a panic attack such as a pounding chest.
A good environment is certainly important to good health of body and mind.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23931927 - 12/16/16 10:04 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I find that venting about things often helps me to become "unstuck" from them.
You are entitled to your opinion, but if you continue posting in this thread simply to voice your disapproval for its premise, then you're just derailing and disrupting a discussion unnecessarily.
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xzylocybin
Stranger



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: yogabunny]
#23932084 - 12/16/16 10:48 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have been clinically depressed to the point of malnutrition and muscle atrophy for 15 years. Life is a blur of intoxication and getting hate from people
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: xzylocybin]
#23933038 - 12/16/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Canada sucks. i need a break from my lifelong break.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: sudly]
#23933122 - 12/16/16 05:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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As an American I've always thought Canada is pretty sweet.
Moose and maple syrup are pretty awesome.
Quote:
sudly said: I rarely if ever had more than 2 silver cigarettes a day because I only needed a tiny hit of nicotine.
I'm definitely with you on nicotine being helpful in stressful situations but personally I found that the overall stress of smoking cigarettes caused me more stress than it resolved especially as the effect wore off so quickly.
Alpha blocker meds, bud(single pipe hits), lots of fruit/food(nutri-bullet) and some basic exercise(10 mins push ups n whatnot) have been good at making a change for the better, it hasn't been long but I have felt more in control of my life since.
The meds I take are like a harder version of beta-blockers. Beta blockers have less if any risks and are great for situational(speeches etc) anxiety attacks as they reduce the release of cortisol/adrenaline in your cardiac system reducing the physical symptoms of a panic attack such as a pounding chest.
A good environment is certainly important to good health of body and mind.
I do have alot of physical health issues that in part motivated me to make this thread. I'd like to get one of those blender things but I've had the most improvement in simply eating better. I typically have one fruit based meal, one vegetable based meal, and one meat and carb based meal a day. Which might be weird but it's the best way to see I don't eat 12 sausage links and 2 blueberries 
I've heard alot about beta blockers. Maybe I'll look into them. I'm reluctant to try (new) drugs before I change environment tho. I really do feel like all I need is the "right environment" for me.
Which apparently is being alone in the middle of the woods picking up rocks
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Free time is the only time
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Tiamo
Trust in LITFA




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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23933130 - 12/16/16 05:44 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't even know what's going on anymore.
--------------------
If you have used a Miraculix Psilocybin QTest, could you please share your results? Shipping free Ps. natalensis spore prints to any address in The Netherlands, just
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Quote:
I typically have one fruit based meal, one vegetable based meal, and one meat and carb based meal a day.
Sounds good 
If there's ever an introductory drug to stress relief medications then beta-blockers are surely something of interest to bring up with a doctor.
As long as you're finding good vibes.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: The Official [Re: sudly]
#23933242 - 12/16/16 06:36 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
As an American I've always thought Canada is pretty sweet.
it is pretty sweet.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: sudly]
#23933245 - 12/16/16 06:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Tiamo said: I don't even know what's going on anymore. 
Man I don't think anyone really does. Truthfully we should accept and embrace our inherent mortal ignorance.
Quote:
sudly said:
If there's ever an introductory drug to stress relief medications then beta-blockers are surely something of interest to bring up with a doctor.
As long as you're finding good vibes.
I'll definitely be looking into them. Thanks man
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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I've actually been feeling hella shitty lately (someone has to say hella now that sse is gone.) I think I had a bug or something and since then my body has been on a pure "fuck you" melt. Kratom is barely doing anything for the pain... Gonna ask for some opiates to see me thru Christmas if I have to.
I'll be jolly as all fuck. They'll see. I've not had a full nights sleep in like 3-4 weeks. Delirium actually makes me a fun person to be around. As long as pain/discomfort isn't making me grumpy.
Hella 
I did get something new to try for the reflux tho. It's licorice extract based. Which is cool. If that doesn't work I'm gonna try tagment cuz I've been in enough pain to think it's been a stomach ulcer. Who knows
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Could always make some poppy seed tea? That shit's real.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: sudly]
#23934169 - 12/17/16 12:49 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah I've considered it. I suppose its not helping the reflux to be eating lots of kratom powder.
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Free time is the only time
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
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horrendous agonizing lower back pain is flaring up, thanks winter
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
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can't sleep, one nightmare for any hour, and then 4 hours of a painful headache. thanks shitty insomniac sleeplessness. the dream was funny though. i've been watching too much pizzagate shit...i literally had a dream where i was at this restaurant (i was hungry earlier), and they tried to set up this interview to hire me (there was a mexican place that was hiring part-time employment, which i discounted nearly immediately- so this must be where that came from, methinks) and then lo' and behold...they were trying to get me to write out a statement, a statement that turned out they were trying to incriminate me with [or so was the point, without trying to recall the exact details] (oh yeah and there was a paralegal there, Rye, he was the one doing the interview, so ha, you were essentially represented in my dreams, in a way), and guess who showed up, the pizzaplace owner, in a pink shirt...he started to try to massage the nape of my neck, with his forefinger and thumb, and i was like "Wtf"- then i realized what was going on...got the fuck out of there...they started chasing me...so i ran into a group of Asian people whom were riding around on bikes and other conveyances, and i asked one if i can hop on board and if he could get me the fuck outta there...he did, we simply bolted off a hill and onto a freeway, where shit was getting hectic, and i awoke.
then four hours of nothing but head ache and tossing and turning- at least there were no dreams- i've had that happen (unable to sleep with constant nightmares), it's not fun.
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Tiamo
Trust in LITFA




Registered: 04/07/16
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Fuck nightmares man, I remember this one where I put my arm around the corner of a door frame and something grabbed it. I was then blast off into hyperspace and I heard a demonic voice say "Welcome to your worst nightmare, bitch." Woke up with a panic attack.
--------------------
If you have used a Miraculix Psilocybin QTest, could you please share your results? Shipping free Ps. natalensis spore prints to any address in The Netherlands, just
Mush love
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: The Official [Re: Tiamo]
#23934501 - 12/17/16 04:48 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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sometimes the oddest things are striking or evil-feeling in dreams.
like...ever have a dream before where you read a book, that explains that you can have "bad energy" in you, and that you can have it taken out, and then go into a serious bad trip electro shock seance type thing, and then have it tell you stuff, that you can't remember upon waking, and then for 10 minutes you're just doing diagnostic energy bullshit, with a book intelligence, and then it becomes malevolent/trickster on you, when you go from saying "yeah, since i'm already on this couch being fuckin trolled hard by some intelligent being, and being driven down a dark highway at 10,000 miles per hour, metaphorically speaking, why not, go do your thing" to "ok, i'm done now right? stop please" and then it asks you if you think you have any ribs and you say "no, please stop", and it goes "no? oh look you're right, *rib disappears* there is no rib here" *puts many fingers in rib hole* (fuck off Legion, seriously?) and then you wake up having all the energy in your seemingly at that one point, still burning in RL?
it did me. it was fucked.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: The Official [Re: Tiamo]
#23934536 - 12/17/16 05:25 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Tiamo said: Fuck nightmares man, I remember this one where I put my arm around the corner of a door frame and something grabbed it. I was then blast off into hyperspace and I heard a demonic voice say "Welcome to your worst nightmare, bitch." Woke up with a panic attack. 
Hyperspace?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23935074 - 12/17/16 10:55 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have chronic sinus congestion.
I wake up stuffed up every single day with a sore throat. It gets progressively better throughout the day, and I've developed lots of little rituals for soothing and clearing them, but is basically always there. Like having a mild grade cold ALL the time. Been to the doctors about it and they say it's like allergies, but I'm not allergic to anything.
It's amazing how useless doctors are to me.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: yogabunny]
#23935257 - 12/17/16 12:17 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Cosmic_Flame said: horrendous agonizing lower back pain is flaring up, thanks winter 
Same.
Quote:
yogabunny said: I have chronic sinus congestion.
I wake up stuffed up every single day with a sore throat. It gets progressively better throughout the day, and I've developed lots of little rituals for soothing and clearing them, but is basically always there. Like having a mild grade cold ALL the time. Been to the doctors about it and they say it's like allergies, but I'm not allergic to anything.
It's amazing how useless doctors are to me.

Same.
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Free time is the only time
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Tiamo
Trust in LITFA




Registered: 04/07/16
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Kinda like falling, with really bad vertigo. And just weird visuals.
--------------------
If you have used a Miraculix Psilocybin QTest, could you please share your results? Shipping free Ps. natalensis spore prints to any address in The Netherlands, just
Mush love
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
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Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: yogabunny]
#23939172 - 12/18/16 08:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
. . . if you continue posting in this thread simply to voice your disapproval for its premise, then you're just derailing and disrupting a discussion unnecessarily.
I don't mean to interrupt anyone's bitch session. Please feel free.
When we complain, we seek others who will support our negativity.
People who don't support our negativity are seen as "disruptive"
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: yogabunny] 1
#23939249 - 12/18/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said: I have chronic sinus congestion.
I wake up stuffed up every single day with a sore throat. It gets progressively better throughout the day, and I've developed lots of little rituals for soothing and clearing them, but is basically always there. Like having a mild grade cold ALL the time. Been to the doctors about it and they say it's like allergies, but I'm not allergic to anything.
It's amazing how useless doctors are to me.

Get a prescription for this stuff and you'll be fuckin A  One squirt day and night.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly] 1
#23939307 - 12/18/16 09:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have this exact issue and I use Fluticasone with total success.
But it can be challenging to get the spray into your nasal passages if you are totally blocked up. I spray, and then lay on my back on the bed, so it drains into my sinuses. I sometimes have to do this, wait 15 minutes, and then do it again, because I'm so stuffed up, it takes 2X to open up.
I suffered for a long time before I tried this stuff. It's great.
(Fluticasone is available under various brand names such as Flonase)
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23939358 - 12/18/16 10:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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You shouldn't validate others negativity by acknowledging their sinus conditions.
Knowing YB I bet she's found some essential oil blend that helps.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23939376 - 12/18/16 10:26 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
essential oil
Might be good for pores but I doubt it'd be as effective, helpful or overall as beneficial as the right medication could.
If someone is suffering from a blocked sinus then simple medications like Fluticasone might be the right way to go forward.
The only risks are spending $20 and getting a wet nose.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly]
#23939527 - 12/19/16 12:08 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Oh for sure, I've always heard good things about flonase. But some people prefer natural or plant based home remedies. I tend to because I'm sensitive to alot of medications. Which really medications are often concentrated and isolated compounds that occur naturally. Which is why I've personally not fiddled with EOs very much. They're expensive concentrates and I'm concerned with side effects.
We'll have to see what she treats it with but I have heard of people clearing nasal blocks over a bowl of steaming water with oils.
It depends on the source and severity but there are home remedies for cold like symptoms. Cayenne pepper always destroyed any stuffy nose I've ever had. Least before the reflux made it impossible to stomach. But herbal remedies do tend to be less effective than medications for the reason I mentioned - they're isolated and concentrated. But you can find relief if you find plants with similar compounds. And sometimes it is the better way to go (often is for me) a doctor is going to tell you to buy dayquil for your cold. Or you could just clear up your most bothersome symptom by eating hot peppers with lunch  I especially like that remedy because you can barely taste anything with a bad cold so you could also have a meal you might taste.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23939539 - 12/19/16 12:17 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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But as far as remedies go dayquil is definitely #1 for colds. I just don't take it unless I have to and infrequently if I do. Tends to hurt my stomach if I have more than one dose of most any cold medicine. Could be related to my liver problems since there is acetaminophen in most of them. wish I could just pop pills all willnilly but I've learned alot while trying to compensate with my body's handicaps and knowledge is always worth having. Plus I can share it and learn others too. Which is another reason I wanted to make this thread.
But yes ms Bunny please share when you pop back in
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23939564 - 12/19/16 12:43 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Homeopathic melatonin kinda ruined the vibes of most home remedies for me but there are some natural alternatives like kratom, damiana or poppy seed tea that work wonders.
For a stuffy nose, personally I prefer one really effective spray of stuff up my nose rather than trying to sniff peppers or whatever you meant.
Quote:
Cayenne pepper always destroyed any stuffy nose I've ever had.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly]
#23939611 - 12/19/16 01:30 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Lol no you just eat them. You can make cayenne pepper tea too but idk about that.
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23939614 - 12/19/16 01:37 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Oh lol, I used to take shots of cayenne peppers with garlic to try and reduce my blood pressure
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly]
#23939622 - 12/19/16 01:51 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Never heard that one. Though both are really good for you. Did it do anything for you?
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23939644 - 12/19/16 02:16 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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It gave me bad breath.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Tiamo
Trust in LITFA




Registered: 04/07/16
Posts: 1,935
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 hours, 39 minutes
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: sudly]
#23939706 - 12/19/16 04:06 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Fucking love spicy food man, I use hot sauce on everything. The hotter it is the happier the food seems to make me. Must be some chemical reaction.
--------------------
If you have used a Miraculix Psilocybin QTest, could you please share your results? Shipping free Ps. natalensis spore prints to any address in The Netherlands, just
Mush love
|
yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23940007 - 12/19/16 10:08 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: You shouldn't validate others negativity by acknowledging their sinus conditions.
Knowing YB I bet she's found some essential oil blend that helps.
You would be correct. I have a whole routine that I do every morning with hot wash cloth, ice cold water and then a whole bunch of essential oils.
I can post it here if people are interested!
I have tried Flonase and some other prescription nasal spray that's part antihistamine part steroid, and I have found that personally using a combination of peppermint and frankincense essentials a couple times a day is more effective.
I have tried everything pharmaceutical and over the counter for my congestion and this is what works best for me!
I take a couple drops of this 50/50 blend and rub on the roof of my mouth (goes right into the sinuses this way) and then I take a couple more drops and inhale deeply directly off my palms.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Tiamo]
#23940313 - 12/19/16 01:10 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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^ got anything for headaches?
Quote:
sudly said: It gave me bad breath.

Quote:
Tiamo said: Fucking love spicy food man, I use hot sauce on everything. The hotter it is the happier the food seems to make me. Must be some chemical reaction.
Hot peppers trigger the pain/pleasure reaction and releases endorphins.
Cayenne pepper in particular also has antioxidants and cleansing properties.
 Tho based on what I've read on what it does to blood I'd think that'd cause a rise in blood pressure. Not a drop. But then again I suppose it could depend on the cause of your high blood pressure.
Likewise melatonin often only works on certain kinds of insomnia.
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Free time is the only time
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Prozac
Hotdogs


Registered: 12/15/16
Posts: 859
Loc: Miami, FL
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23940393 - 12/19/16 01:51 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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For headaches? Tea 'N Sanity
This woman cooks up a good remedy for a headaches or any sickness and more. Relaxation too... if you need that. Check out her website. She ships out of state also.
Oh yeah. And she makes teas. She makes everything from scratch.
-------------------- https://www.youtube.com/c/ExurbiA <<Check that out for puppy videos.
Edited by Prozac (12/19/16 01:53 PM)
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23941271 - 12/19/16 06:51 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
^ got anything for headaches?
Yep!
What kind of headaches though? I would make different recommendations for migraines vs. tension headaches.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Prozac]
#23943867 - 12/20/16 04:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Tension headaches. When I get migraines I take care of them rather easily with 
Quote:
Prozac said: For headaches? Tea 'N Sanity
This woman cooks up a good remedy for a headaches or any sickness and more. Relaxation too... if you need that. Check out her website. She ships out of state also.
Oh yeah. And she makes teas. She makes everything from scratch.
I'm interested but concerned ingredients aren't listed. I do see she has a tea listed for reflux too. I've had alot of stomach settling teas, like Eaters Digest by Traditional Medicinals but I notice for whatever reason they tend to make my stomach feel more sour when I have acid problems. I think maybe its the combination or the dosage.
Herbs are strange like that. Like ginger is a good stomach settler but too much of it will give you horrible diareah. And I've had herbal tablets that were supposed to help with muscle cramps but actually made my leg cramps worse.  That's partly why I've taken to getting the whole herb and blending for myself most of the time.
But her teas look loose leaf? could do better dose control if they aren't pre-bagged.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23946492 - 12/21/16 04:01 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I was finally feeling better and then we had some weird dramatic temperature changes and I'm pmsing like a bitch and I feel like shit again.
I wish vendors still sold leaf, I'd be able to tone down the potential stomach upsets if I could do tea. I rather miss kratom tea.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23948868 - 12/22/16 11:33 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
 I keep kinda wishing I'd catch a cold. I feel like I could use a few days of snot face.
I feel like I shouldn't have wished for this cold 
More than anything tho I'm dry. My throat is dry my eyes are dry and my nose feels dry... When it isn't leaking.
Might just be a reaction to the weather going from below freezing one day to near 60 the next and back down to near freezing the very next. Dunno. I'd never actually heard about cold-like weather reactions until I came to work in an office. Part of me thinks the air just sucks in here and the on and off of HVAC is what makes people feel sick.
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Free time is the only time
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23948915 - 12/22/16 11:45 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Heating the air in the winter lowers the humidity in the room. For example, my relative humidity is 36% indoors. You can add a humidifier, that used to be more popular and you would even see it added to heating systems. Typically no one ever cleaned them and they got super disgusting.
But that's why it feels dry because it is.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23948959 - 12/22/16 11:59 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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think I could vape and it'd moisten my throat?
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Free time is the only time
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23949750 - 12/22/16 05:44 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
think I could vape and it'd moisten my throat?
I love my new dab attachment I think it applies a nice coating of oil, so maybe.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23959657 - 12/27/16 01:48 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Does feeling like shit have to be strictly associated to physical illness?
I feel like shit mentally and it's been going on for a while.
Things are not going so well for me, the less money I have, the more problems seem to arise that need money, my car's shift sheet, electricity needs re-done, new wper motor, fuel, the water pipes in my apartment need fixing and re-arranging, got no fancy ''successful looking'' clothes for these festive holidays, I owe money a shit ton of debt, I can't hold a job cause no one is going to hire me to work one day a week, the rest of the week I have lectures from 8am - 6.30pm, I can't relay on my family for money anymore cause my mum is struggling, mushrooms don't seem to be growing and I seriously need to stock up on supplies....etc
I think the worst part though is that I keep comparing myself to other people like my ex and I can't seem to stop. I want it to stop cause it makes me feel like shit but I can't help it. I don't understand why after all this time I am still hung up on such a person when they clearly have forgotten who I am. She hangs around successful people with jobs, a social life and always has someone to hang around with, grab a coffee....etc While I have no one to do that stuff with, I don't go to clubs or can even afford it for that matte. I can't help that I am just this loser that she was happyto get rid off, I can't help but feel that I am nothing but dead weight to the people around me. Nothing seems to change and I can't shove this negative aspect out of my mind.
What I really want is not be so alone anymore, socialize a bit and have some fun and not just wallow in my self pity day in and day out, broke and smoking pot which does not make it any better. I really would like to implement and create a more positive life for me, I would like to show her and especially myself that I can be ''successful'' too. It sucks also that I have this reputation for being negative and depressive, I try not to be but everything just seems so pointless and it looks like everyday just shows me more reasons why I am so useless and solidifies the theory that all my ex's left me cause I was good for nothing. I don't be of high value, that I am worth anything, I feel like I bore people, nothing exciting happens to me, I don't see anyone around me who are interested in getting to know me...etc
Anyway you get the idea, I just don't know how to change these things over night. I am sick of being this way, sick of being over shadowed, I want to be successful and make myself stronger and happy
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Rosen_Rot]
#23962890 - 12/28/16 02:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Man I'm in a similar boat. Everytime I make good progress on myself and my mental state something comes to slap me right back down. I was doing pretty good, aside from being stressed out and unhappy with work and then shit happened and triggered what I can only describe as PTSD, as much as I may not want to since I've not been to war or anything.
All the progress I'd made and improvements in my social life and self confidence has been totally undone in about a year. And it sucks.
But I will tell you independence is an important word alot of people don't fully understand. Self worth that is independent of others is true self worth. Self worth that depends on others is perceived personal value. It's important to separate yourself and what others might think of you. People can andd will think or say whatever the hell they want about you (and they're almost always wrong due to limited perspective) but only you know you and only you can know your true value.
You are an individual. You cannot be expected or to expect to be someone else. You are you and you have your own sets of strengths and weaknesses. You are a house and others can make their houses look one way or another yours cannot, be built one way or another yours cannot, and you have your own special structure that can be built and repaired in ways that are unique to you.
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Free time is the only time
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23964580 - 12/29/16 03:01 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I understand you and empathize with you so well on that note. Any shred of progress and the start of positive thinking is immediately shut down a few days later and trumped over by negative thoughts, everything that you work for is just swept underneath and there can never be a steady pace of just progress. Maybe the negativity is progress in itself but man, does it have to be this heavy to bear and disheartening?
I've taken a few steps to try and get back into ''me'' again. With the little gas I have left I started to drive around and head in valleys and cliffs, taking pictures of flowers, plants, mushrooms and scenary. I was into photography before, nothing special, never went to classes, mostly got a DSLR for identification photographs but I learned a thing or two. It's been making me feel good, that I am not wasting time, being around Nature again does me good. A couple of opportunities have arisen as well, I'm being introduced to a new off-roading group so I'll have someone to get in trouble with, getting a hold of a specimen of oyster today and while I have nothing else to do I could nerd out and start working on my assignments
Other than that, for me, is just a question of finances, which really bugs me and I relay too much of mushroom production. I am going to try and apply for a couple of jobs as well, even though I don't have enough of a time frame to work but maybe someone out there will give me that opportunity.
Some days I get into that frame of thinking, I am me and fuck what everyone thinks, other days I get hung up in stupid cycles like this, my head finds it easier to just remind me of my ex months later. It bums me out and I keep doing it to myself, the worst is that I want to improve myself, be the best version of me, I have potential but I don't work it so well and I don't like that about myself
I need to stop wishing and do more and think less, maybe adopt an absent minded philosophy to help pave the way more efficiently. Over thinking makes me really tired and fucks me up, sometimes I feel my mental health just deteriorating over time
I appreciate your kind words, if anything they helped to spark up that initial progress and believing in myself
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Rosen_Rot]
#23964732 - 12/29/16 06:37 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Stop looking yourself in the "I's". You can't compare yourself to anyone else without driving yourself crazy. As long as you label yourself a "wannabe" you will want to be.
Just be. More thinking about how to change things won't.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23964835 - 12/29/16 07:54 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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The wannabe is more of a ranking related to my mushroom cultivating ability rather than how I feel about myself. That goes up in time the more I get good 
To ''just be'' is a lot harder than it sounds I guess what you're saying is just accept the situation how it is?
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Rosen_Rot]
#23964840 - 12/29/16 07:59 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Rosen_Rot said: The wannabe is more of a ranking related to my mushroom cultivating ability rather than how I feel about myself. That goes up in time the more I get good 
To ''just be'' is a lot harder than it sounds I guess what you're saying is just accept the situation how it is?
Ultimately we are "living" in the present, the now. To either look forward or look behind is to miss what's happening right in front of you. Focus on the little things in the present, embrace that. To think of your ex or what needs to be isn't helping you.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23964904 - 12/29/16 08:37 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I stumbled upon this video clip, I found it really good and aided me in gaining some ''now'' perspective
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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RJ Tubs 202


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Rosen_Rot]
#23974746 - 01/02/17 12:59 AM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rosen_Rot said:
The wannabe is more of a ranking related to my mushroom cultivating ability rather than how I feel about myself. That goes up in time the more I get good 
But when our mood is based on our accomplishments, we make a pact with the Devil.
When we do "good" we feel positive, but when we don't, we feel like crap.
This results in a life that's an emotional roller-coaster.
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23975555 - 01/02/17 10:05 AM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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That doesn't sound like something that can be fixed, I think that is just life in general Its impossible to feel good all the time, off days will come anyway. Contentment is what I am after, I think it leads to a lot more satisfaction
Lately I've been finding joy in the little things and appreciating the little bits, like watching the cats sleep or having a decent conversation with my mum. I can't really control anything except my frame of mind and I really just gotta move on
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Rosen_Rot]
#23976252 - 01/02/17 01:50 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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I think it's more beneficial to change your perspective on what "doing good" is. With the right perspective one can have a positive outlook on what would normally be considered failure.
My cat is a daily source of joy personally. She cuddles up beside me every night and nuzzles her face against mine. It's fucking cute. And it gives the added benefit of not only being able to appreciate that genuine kindness but it also gives the benefit of feeling appreciated. And that can mean alot.
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Free time is the only time
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23976288 - 01/02/17 02:03 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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So apparently trazodone can cause prolonged qt which causes heart arrhythmia. This explains my recent shortness of breath. Stopped taking it yesterday and now taking magnesium hopefully it resolves fast! If anyone knows anything about this please let me knowww!
Edit: which is why I've been feeling like shit lately*
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
Edited by goldcaphunter (01/02/17 02:08 PM)
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#23976411 - 01/02/17 02:52 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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I don't know a whole lot but I know that trazadone made me feel pretty shitty too. Took it for a few months before I dropped all the meds all at once. Which subsequently made me feel more shitty (don't do that)
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Free time is the only time
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23976440 - 01/02/17 03:00 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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Yes I haven't even gone through the whole bottle though so I'm not tapering fuck this stuff. I can't walk up the stairs w/out losing my breath while literally one day before I started taking it I could ride 15 miles on my bike...
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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goldcaphunter
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#23976795 - 01/02/17 05:20 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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Magnesium helped. The arrhythmia went away!
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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Jean-guy Masta
Railyard Ghost


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#23976836 - 01/02/17 05:35 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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Trying get over a heart break, already had a depressant habit now it getting out of hands, been on benzo/alcohol for 3 months everyday,
I tried to party all christmas time, met girls had a blast but i still feel shittier then ever. Fuckin shit
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Jean-guy Masta]
#23976847 - 01/02/17 05:40 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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Time heals. When my most recent gf broke up with me it RUINED me. It's been almost three years now and it still hurts.
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#23977240 - 01/02/17 08:27 PM (7 years, 28 days ago) |
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Broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago, and I'm still recieving e-mails every day, verbally abusing me and saying mean hateful shit. I have just ignored it all for the most part - I've blocked her on everything, but curiosity got the better of me and I checked my spam folder and read a bunch of her messages... it's really hard to be the better person and not respond angrily to all the bullshit. I've been nothing but nice and diplomatic to her since the breakup but I'm recieving so much venom and hateful shit that it is getting to my head.
Do I give in and defend myself, or just stop reading the e-mails and go about living a happy life without her? Because I am SO much happier without her.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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You should already know the answer to that one. Move on.
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Free time is the only time
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Amanita86
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Yeah, don't give her the satisfaction. All she wants is a reaction so the best way to piss her and people like her off is to act lkke they're not even on this planet.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Lucis
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Amanita86]
#23980219 - 01/03/17 10:45 PM (7 years, 27 days ago) |
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I am sick, 100 degree fever, lots of mucus, boohoo.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: Lucis]
#23980388 - 01/04/17 12:41 AM (7 years, 26 days ago) |
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Well the nice thing abou fevers is you can be high without drugs.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24010266 - 01/14/17 04:38 PM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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My anxiety levels have been through the fucking roof. It's been a long time that I've felt this stressed out/anxious for so long. No wonder I used to think I was dying.
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Free time is the only time
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goldcaphunter
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24010547 - 01/14/17 07:06 PM (7 years, 16 days ago) |
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I feel you on that one cookie  I went through my 60 Ativan and 30 triazolam a week after filling them. Now I have this big three day test next weekend and I'm all freaking out n shit Anything you're particularly stressed about?
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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CookieCrumbs
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#24013004 - 01/15/17 07:58 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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Life man, life and work especially. And my lady friend hounding me. ...you know you're getting old when too much sex is a problem 
I have a klonipin script but I'm pretty firmly against taking it daily. I don't even like taking more than 4-5 in a month. Plus it was a pain to get my doc to refill it last and he wants me to get an appointment so he can be sure I'm still fucked up.
I wanna get off my welbutirin in a couple months but I'm pretty sure that he's going to cut my like 30 per 6month kpin script with it. Which would probably be terrible and horrible. God forbid I only want to take drugs when I really feel I need them...
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Free time is the only time
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24013048 - 01/15/17 08:13 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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welp, i've got an appointment tomorrow for the doc's office; to get a script for ADD medication. i'm sick and tired of having no energy and having to slog my way out of bed, and put up with a whole afternoon of tiredness, before i can actually feel awake.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: akira_akuma]
#24013365 - 01/15/17 10:35 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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I know I'm gonna sound like an ass but have you tried lifestyle changes? eating healthy, exercising, having a steady sleep cycle, ect?
Long term amphetamine use, even in small doses, can fucks with your brain stuffs. But I'm sure you know that. Just the way you worded it makes me think its a broken sleep cycle/daily routine issue and I'd like to suggest such before you ship off to drugland. As wonderful and helpful as it can be. My life was ass in a whole before I decided drugs were okay again. But I'm still right wary as they are rarely a true solution and the best long term answer. Sadly.
Also assuming you've dealt with it for a very long time and I don't much blame you for wanting it to just piss off already.
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Free time is the only time
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24013379 - 01/15/17 10:46 PM (7 years, 15 days ago) |
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pretty much that last part sums up my feelings on the situation.
i can't keep a steady sleep cycle, mostly, but when i do, my tiredness does not fade- so i stop trying and become a nightowl.
i eat healthy, relatively speaking...i eat a lot of vegetarian food.
and exercise...don't have the energy, most days. but when i do, i exercise quite a bit. i'm almost never sitting down, anyways, unless, like today, and for the past few days, i am dealing with swings of depression. otherwise, i'm always moving on my feet.
no, see, the problem is Crumbs, is that i really don't have a great motivation for a: money b:...well, actually A suffices. because of that, it's really sent me into a tailspin recently, seeing as though the world is motivated by money, almost solely (it seems to me).
and that, AND the fact that i do suffer (and sometimes it's a good thing as well, but it's not anything but condemned, mostly) with a hypervigilance of concentration when i am on a topic of interest...thing is, i have alot of interests...thus i get distracted very easily as well (easily top-loaded with things to-do, things i'm studying, things i'm ultimately distracted with- i get distracted by distraction; and oft times i'll just hone in on one thing so much so that the day will be out before i even realize it.)
i am...not meant to be a cog in this machine. i am meant to be a librarian whom unfolds all my interests into a scroll of my entire being. it's a spiritual endeavor, as much as anything else.
but the world will not see it that way, generally speaking. i aim to do poetry, and music...and art. if that can't suffice for a living, then i'm screwed unless i go back to school and get my high-school diploma (the one thing i ultimately regret, but the one thing that ultimately set me on this path to begin with, oddly enough- though who knows what i "might" have been- i really don't care, but it's an oddity, that's for sure).
oh well. i'm not trying to make excuses, or anything. i'm just saying, i'm at the end of my rope, i don't care anymore about health or expectations- even my own expectations. i just want to be able to see this through to the end, and not get so down on myself for lack of motivation and productivity. i'm not a puppet, i don't live for money, and the acquisition of it- i don't care to work for an employer because he or she will give me benefits. it's nothing that interests me.
TLDR, oops, i rambled. probably going to be more of that on the way, i am sure.
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CookieCrumbs
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: akira_akuma] 1
#24014113 - 01/16/17 09:23 AM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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Adderall isn't going to keep you from being "distracted by things you like" if they're available to you. I used to take it for school sometimes and more often than not I'd end up writing fiction instead of writing notes.
But I feel you. I was doing odd jobs before a couple years ago. I really liked some, they felt rewarding, like I accomplished something. Because I did. I did a job, I did a good job, I got paid, and I left.
Since coming into large corporate run work... The job never ends. No one ever genuinely thanks you. The people that get rewarded are the ones that work hard at kissing ass and it is always without regard to the actual quality of their work. It's an assembly line where you really are a cog. You do one job, all day, every day. Before I changed position in the company I was having multiple panic attacks a day because the work was so dull and repetitive I had nothing to keep the bad vibes away (I mean aside from people always trying to blame you for their mistakes and corporate having stupid expectations that interfer with the job and an environment that lives to stress you out for no apparent reason.)
I used to feel much the same. I still do. I don't give a shit about money. But I give many shits about being independent. And being free. I dunno how it is with your fam but mine is very controlling and while I think I could probably get my neuropathy diagnosed and get on welfare I see that as a form of control too. So working is the only way to be free. Which is an oxymoron since freedom and corporate life are nearly polar opposite.
I quit my last job within the month because my manager gave me shit for waiting till the last 20 minutes before lunch to go to the bathroom. When I had been holding it the whole time working my ass off trying to get shit done. (Manual labor job, I waited till I worked my way over in the warehouse to the bathroom because I could only walk so much so fast, averaged 12 miles a day at that job.)
I wasn't happy before I started big work. I was anxious and nervous and depressed. It was thrilling to start new jobs. But they've not made me feel any less worthless and unappreciated. And I have worked my ass off.
Right now I'm hoping my next job, in the next year or 2, will be something worth doing. For a company worth working for. Or I can switch to my own business. Preferably in prospecting. But that feels like a pipe dream. Right now I'm working to own my own property to be the fuck away from all the toxic people in the city. I go onn frequent camping trips and "mini vacation" to keep myself sane in the meantime but more and more I'm noticing how badly work manipulates my personality. I'm a totally different person after a few days off. That in and of itself is depressing.
But I believe there is a source of income and independence for everyone. Maybe yours is writing, I used to hope mine was, and maybe you'll find a way to make that work in our corporate run world. I have faith you'll figure it out if you try and keep yourself open, keep yourself determined fulfill the dream, and be willing to incorporate the world into yourself.
I think that dream is out there for me too. Just holding on for it seems to get harder and harder for every month that goes by.
I've been using the shroomery recently to keep myself from going postal and A. Jumping out the 6th story windows or B. Attacking my coworkers (preferably my boss) with a pair of siccors and a stapler
And imagining and laughing (tho cynical laughter) is something that helps me be a little more okay with it.
That and drugs of course. I really dunno what I'll do if/when they make kratom illegal. I definitely won't keep my sanity if I have to be here and in pain all the time. I think I would probably end up going the welfare route that way. And hopefully before psychosis hits...
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: akira_akuma] 1
#24014161 - 01/16/17 09:42 AM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
akira_akuma said: i can't keep a steady sleep cycle, mostly, but when i do, my tiredness does not fade- so i stop trying and become a nightowl.
I can't either, never been great at keeping a steady sleep schedule unless I was taking a low dose of stims daily, like 10mg adderall knocks me out. Even with exercise, proper diet, and working, I still can't tire myself out to the point of sleeping.
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24014328 - 01/16/17 10:58 AM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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It's almost like an insult that he prescribes such a small amount of K pins lol
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#24014367 - 01/16/17 11:11 AM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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I'm fine with it. I used to have a bit of a problem with xanax and when he originally wrote the script I was really only having problems with panic attacks with my hormonal fluctuations. It would be nice if I felt I could be like "ey doc this year fucking sucks and I'm probably going to lose my shit if I can't get more drugs" and I got a little more drugs. Psychiatric medicine is a mess. Overprescribed to people who don't need it and under prescribed to people who do.
Healthcare as a whole is a mess. But it's stressful that I have to go and plead to this schmuck and tell him how fucked I am, let myself be as fucked up as I am so he can actually believe me, while trying not to be fucked up. It sounds counterproductive really. He's not the one that actually cares about my mental state.
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Free time is the only time
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24015414 - 01/16/17 05:56 PM (7 years, 14 days ago) |
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There's a lot of jobs that are straight up spirit killers. The way kt's set up now you're a slave at birth and have no right to live on this earth.. it's bullshit. The game is rigged.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: goldcaphunter]
#24020087 - 01/18/17 01:57 PM (7 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said:
Time heals. When my most recent gf broke up with me it RUINED me. It's been almost three years now and it still hurts.
What "ruined" you is your attachment to the repetitive story that runs rampant thru your head.
It still hurts because your story (of being dumped) is still running.
Beware of believing the stories that the mind dreams up.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24020109 - 01/18/17 02:05 PM (7 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Right now I'm working to own my own property to be the fuck away from all the toxic people in the city.
Your belief the city is full of toxic people is your ego-centric story of judgment and damnation.
It's a pipe dream to expect your job to fulfill your dreams. A job doesn't "manipulate your personality"
If want to jump out a 6th story window, don't blame it on your coworkers.
You own your reactivity. It doesn't belong to anyone else. Don't play the victim.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#24020127 - 01/18/17 02:11 PM (7 years, 12 days ago) |
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You seem to assume alot from single sentences.Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Right now I'm working to own my own property to be the fuck away from all the toxic people in the city.
Your belief the city is full of toxic people is your ego-centric story of judgment and damnation.
It's a pipe dream to expect your job to fulfill your dreams. A job doesn't "manipulate your personality"
If want to jump out a 6th story window, don't blame it on your coworkers.
You own your reactivity. It doesn't belong to anyone else. Don't play the victim.
I'm quite aware of the fact it's an attitude problem. Other people can ignore everyone else around them being miserable and grunting grumbling and complaining all day, and how they manipulate others to get things they didn't earn, other people are even okay with that and with being a tool of a system that doesn't give a shit about you... But I'm not. I've tried, very very hard to be, but I just can't. It is quite simply wrong.
Misery loves company, it's a saying for a reason. Your environment DOES effect you. And no one is immune to this.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24020157 - 01/18/17 02:20 PM (7 years, 12 days ago) |
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I spend 2/3rds of my day there doing nothing that really matters to me most days and my company has made it apparent that for the most part it doesn't matter to them either.
I grab at what good I can, appreciate what good I've gotten out of it, but cmon man. A person's working life is most of their life. Especially considering my health problems and every little piece of energy I have is very valuable. Any job I take exacerbates my health problems. I put my life into work = it is my life. Or at least a majority of it. I am working for an insurance company which is a corruption of an economic system I don't agree with. Is a business model I don't agree with. I fill out forms 90% of my day that have little personal value. I am wasting my life with older people that have wasted their life and for the most part have become overweight unhealthy and depressed.
I'm not going to sell out and change who I am to be "happy" with something the very core of who I am says is wrong.
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Free time is the only time
Edited by CookieCrumbs (01/18/17 02:23 PM)
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RJ Tubs 202


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24020709 - 01/18/17 05:13 PM (7 years, 12 days ago) |
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Don't base your happiness on anything external to you.
You don't need to be around joyous people to be happy.
Misery loves company = negative attitudes seek negative attitudes.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#24020928 - 01/18/17 06:32 PM (7 years, 12 days ago) |
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So I chilled a little bit and thought more about it.
I don't like the judgement and control that I get at the office. To me the only thing they have the right to judge me on is my politeness and my performance. But they judge me on... everything. From the car I drive to the way I dress to the way I talk. I have a casual conversation at work and before I know it my coworkers are looking at me like I've grown 2 heads. And normally that stuff amuses me. But it's different at work. Because that stuff effects the money I make and, say my health takes a turn and I have attendance issues, can effect whether or not I have a job.
And I don't like everyone around me being miserable because I care. And I get mad that I care because it doesn't seem like anyone else does.
The city bothers me because everyone is always rushing and angry. I feel like an inconvenience because I'm in their way.
Would all this shit bother me if I didn't have guilt issues and didn't live with the people that helped create those issues with a lack of support and a need to constantly try to control me and tell me I'm wrong and to downplay all of my problems? Probably not. And that last part is why I get irritated with your replies sometimes. I have problems talking about my problems because of that shit. Because of downplaying my own problems to everyone else and even to myself. I have a hard time even acknowledging the issues. And you don't win a fight by never looking at your opponent. Wasn't my intention to address them within this thread either, I know it's annoying as shit to listen to other peoples inner problems and I've lost more than a few friends by being unable to find that balance.
I get the philosophy behind alot of your ideas and I respect it. But you don't have philosophy without psychology and I'm psychologically twisted. Yes I am too sensitive to the vibes of others. I've only ever not been by living in my own fantasy world or living in a constant state of anger. I'm sure you can see the unhealthiness of either.
So what I got is - I have to change my environment in order for ME to change. Cuz I've done alot of shit, made alot of progress, and always come right back to the same negative potholes of life. The only thing I've not ever tried to manipulate into positive reinforcement is my environment.
I am happy in the woods. I am happy when I'm alone. Do I blame people for making me uncomfortable and unhappy? Not exactly. It's not their fault I'm a mess. But I do acknowledge that I am happy when I don't have to deal with them all the time.
I've had issues at home that have had me constantly on edge. I don't control my life, I have to let other people control my life to get by, and the TL;DR of it is that fucking bothers me.
Truly I want to work for me. I want to live for me. I want to feel free to be me. And I don't feel like anyone has a right to take that from me or anyone else.
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Free time is the only time
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RJ Tubs 202


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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24021752 - 01/19/17 12:16 AM (7 years, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Would all this shit bother me if I didn't have guilt issues and didn't live with the people that helped create those issues with a lack of support and a need to constantly try to control me and tell me I'm wrong and to downplay all of my problems? Probably not. And that last part is why I get irritated with your replies sometimes. I have problems talking about my problems because of that shit. Because of downplaying my own problems to everyone else and even to myself. I have a hard time even acknowledging the issues.
I feel you Crumbs. I can be a bit of a nit-picking hyper-opinionated dick sometimes.
I don't find it annoying to listen to people's struggles. It makes me feel connected to others.
Hang in there, and keep talking about your challenges. We're all in this together.
Even if it doesn't feel like it
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24022109 - 01/19/17 06:39 AM (7 years, 11 days ago) |
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Jack's Smirking Revenge
somehow after detailed reading of your problem, this video popped into my head. well it's one way out of the corporate world, with residual income.
another would be to move out of the city and for you to figure out how to be your own boss without beating yourself up.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (01/19/17 06:43 AM)
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,994
Loc: so many roads
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24023458 - 01/19/17 05:04 PM (7 years, 11 days ago) |
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Well I feel like shit lately, checking in.
Worth mentioning is my experience over the course of 7 years I lived in 5 different corners of the country. My immediate issues certainly vanished by moving (people, places, things). However the deep ingrained complexes traveled right on with me, including my tendency to run off lone wolf at sight of challenge.
My stance has always been, you can uproot yourself and go anywhere- but it gets lonely. There was always this nagging feeling I had with friends made in new locale, great quality people but they had no background on me. No foresight as to where I've come from, what I've accomplished. It was almost hollow the relationship as if someone was missing.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
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life is hollow. bunch of people gawking at eachother.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 4 minutes
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Quote:
birdeatingspider said:
My stance has always been, you can uproot yourself and go anywhere- but it gets lonely. There was always this nagging feeling I had with friends made in new locale, great quality people but they had no background on me. No foresight as to where I've come from, what I've accomplished. It was almost hollow the relationship as if someone was missing.
So, you need for people to "know where you come from" to feel connected to them?
If you need people to acknowledge what you've "accomplished", you're shooting yourself in the foot.
It's a huge mistake to want others to know our reality. It's a fantasy. We need to give it up.
The key to forming human connection and intimacy is to not make conditions on anyone.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#24024910 - 01/20/17 07:56 AM (7 years, 10 days ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Would all this shit bother me if I didn't have guilt issues and didn't live with the people that helped create those issues with a lack of support and a need to constantly try to control me and tell me I'm wrong and to downplay all of my problems? Probably not. And that last part is why I get irritated with your replies sometimes. I have problems talking about my problems because of that shit. Because of downplaying my own problems to everyone else and even to myself. I have a hard time even acknowledging the issues.
I feel you Crumbs. I can be a bit of a nit-picking hyper-opinionated dick sometimes.
I don't find it annoying to listen to people's struggles. It makes me feel connected to others.
Hang in there, and keep talking about your challenges. We're all in this together.
Even if it doesn't feel like it 
Thank you.
The only reason my temper hasn't run away with my replies to you is cuz I know I can be a hyper-opinionated dick too that and I really do get the philosophy you preach. But that bothers me all the more, I am very far from being able to live that philosophy right now.
Fight club is a great movie, and a great example of the psychosis I was talking about. I do like how many people end up joining fight club tho. I feel like that is a reality. A lot of people want out and have either surrendered to what they see as an ineviable reality or just dunno how to get out. I don't want to be one of those people.
I'm looking at a trailer north of the city, in a much smaller "city". It's really a rural county where the city itself spans about 15 blocks and my boss asked me recently if I wanted to work from home. If I can move by march that shit will work out and give me waaaaaay more time to start working out my next move. (I spend nearly 2 hours in commuting currently which means I blow nearly 12 hours a day on work.) I think it'll help lower my stress levels so I can actually think too.
I was most worried about isolating myself and becoming lazy... But depression has already isolated me where I am and already encourages me to do nothing. I can't even really meditate right now where I'm living so yeah it is bound to help to move.
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Free time is the only time
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,994
Loc: so many roads
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#24026163 - 01/20/17 04:31 PM (7 years, 10 days ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
birdeatingspider said:
My stance has always been, you can uproot yourself and go anywhere- but it gets lonely. There was always this nagging feeling I had with friends made in new locale, great quality people but they had no background on me. No foresight as to where I've come from, what I've accomplished. It was almost hollow the relationship as if someone was missing.
So, you need for people to "know where you come from" to feel connected to them?
If you need people to acknowledge what you've "accomplished", you're shooting yourself in the foot.
It's a huge mistake to want others to know our reality. It's a fantasy. We need to give it up.
The key to forming human connection and intimacy is to not make conditions on anyone.
Yes, I do feel that a part of connection to others is sharing similar background or stomping the same ground. It's not so much I "need people to acknowledge what I've accomplished" in order to enjoy a friendship to the fullest.. more so that growing up with people gives them an edge over friends you meet mid-life in my eyes. I historically have trouble fostering intimate relationships with people. It's a matter of this subtle difference being viewed as positively for me.
When I eradicated particular habits my friends and family had context. They knew what was especially challenging for me and were able to offer support accordingly. This is what I refer to when I mention accomplishments.
I reflect on my childhood nostalgically, anyone or thing from this time period has a warm and fuzzy association for me. Some people are more sentimental than others Edit- some are just mental.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
Edited by birdeatingspider (01/20/17 05:04 PM)
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24027682 - 01/21/17 09:29 AM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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Sounds like a plan. Commuting sucks, the big city sucks. Saving 4 hours a day and not having to drive, yeah there you go.
For me I live near the woods, and the condition of the environment and the animals is getting bleak. The global ecology is in fact in an extinction event, with most completely oblivious as to it even happening.
Thunderstorm asthma, LOL. What next? I mean, it's not funny when people get poisoned, and die, but that explanation? The power structure gets away with it because people are too stupid and self absorbed to even notice, care, or begin to connect a few dots.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: LunarEclipse]
#24028057 - 01/21/17 11:55 AM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said: Thunderstorm asthma, LOL. What next? I mean, it's not funny when people get poisoned, and die, but that explanation? The power structure gets away with it because people are too stupid and self absorbed to even notice, care, or begin to connect a few dots.
Thunderstorm asthma... Do I even want to know?
That shit irritates me too. Every so often someone will comment on the turtles or the fish or the lady bugs and how they remember they used to see so much more (imo the one that has declined the most is bumble bees but no one is going to complain about less bees) so then, me being a conservation nut, I tell them about this stuff. And I almost always get the same reactions. Either the "okay cool" response where they don't get it or actively disbelieve it or I get a conversation or denial where I can see they are trying to discredit or forget everything I just said. Cuz that shit is scary.
It's like pretending there's not a bear in your house cuz it's scary to think about. Can't ignore it forever and sooner or later it's going to hurt you. I've told people very similar things and they look offended 
I'm glad I didn't finish school and go into conservationism cuz I'm pretty sure I'd be looking for the best way to kill myself right now.
Not that I sometimes don't anyway but at least that's not a serious threat. Yet.
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Free time is the only time
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24028232 - 01/21/17 01:29 PM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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They pass out bee boxes where I'm at that you can hang around your property and on the prison property they have yooge white bee boxes with shitloads of bees. They're pretty active about keeping them around in these parts. Lots of people have boxes on the corners of their property. Of course I can't have one because I'm stuck in an apartment
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: The Official "I Feel Like Shit" Thread [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#24028958 - 01/21/17 07:03 PM (7 years, 9 days ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said: Thunderstorm asthma, LOL. What next? I mean, it's not funny when people get poisoned, and die, but that explanation? The power structure gets away with it because people are too stupid and self absorbed to even notice, care, or begin to connect a few dots.
Thunderstorm asthma... Do I even want to know?
That shit irritates me too. Every so often someone will comment on the turtles or the fish or the lady bugs and how they remember they used to see so much more (imo the one that has declined the most is bumble bees but no one is going to complain about less bees) so then, me being a conservation nut, I tell them about this stuff. And I almost always get the same reactions. Either the "okay cool" response where they don't get it or actively disbelieve it or I get a conversation or denial where I can see they are trying to discredit or forget everything I just said. Cuz that shit is scary.
It's like pretending there's not a bear in your house cuz it's scary to think about. Can't ignore it forever and sooner or later it's going to hurt you. I've told people very similar things and they look offended 
I'm glad I didn't finish school and go into conservationism cuz I'm pretty sure I'd be looking for the best way to kill myself right now.
Not that I sometimes don't anyway but at least that's not a serious threat. Yet.
These things you don't learn about in school. In fact, it's knucklehead academics that can even dream up some BS term like "thunderstorm asthma" to describe the after effects of whatever the spray was spread out that day that made thousands sick and killed some too.
Anyway, there's a lot of things going on, the job of most academics is to either obfuscate or to not say anything. I probably know too much, and care too much as well.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (01/21/17 07:09 PM)
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KetBom
Stranger



Registered: 09/18/09
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Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Yeah i can feel the shit winds blowing, i dont want to go outside for fearing of being covered in shit. Cant find a job thats not shit. This worlds shit. Shit i hate this shit.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24038448 - 01/25/17 11:46 AM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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As much as RJ irritates me with his philosophy sometimes he is right in that like 99% of life and succeeding in it is all a mental game.
I've personally learned a long time ago that there is always something in life you appreciate.
But depression often numbs the ability to appreciate so you have to appreciate harder until your rubber band in the brain snaps and you stop giving so many shits about the shitty shit.
Care to share what's up with your job issue? are you young? I didn't get my first "real job" until I was 22. And tbh they were taking anyone that could pass a drug test
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Free time is the only time
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KetBom
Stranger



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Im 27, my problem is i dont care to work a job im not interested in. But theres always shit winds in my mind blowing telling me i need this n that. But without a job i cant afford this n that. I have shit winds blowing telling me im a loser for not doing a job and doing all the shit wind things in life. Shit im quite happy living off the shit winders tax money, but the shit winds are making me feel bad for it. Im trying to do the earth a favor by not contributing to its destruction. I dont fit in and ive given up trying to. Theres no one that can help me, i know why i feel like shit. The way things are is shit, thats why i feel shit. I either hurt myself physically or mentally working a job to attain money so i can have more than i need. When i can just live of peoples money that want to pay taxes. Im unhappy because i have to deal with these thoughts that i need more to be "happy". This reality we live in is shit, anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is delusional :p ive been jobless for a year, in this time i applied for 2 jobs that i could be happy doing. Didnt get either by the looks, shit world we live in when you send someone a job application , even ring them up and leave a message to get no reply whatsoever. Fuck this shitty world. ive tried to hard and got nothing in return but a sore back and a bunch of shit i ended up selling once i realise it wasnt what i was looking for. Im most happy when im close to death.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24038938 - 01/25/17 03:19 PM (7 years, 5 days ago) |
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See if you go and look on the last page (and skim my ramblings) you'll see we have similar problems. I think alot of people feel as we do. We aren't in love with money and because of that we can't be happy with any old job. And I personally have too many guilt issues to be on welfare. So I'm stuck working jobs I hate.
Strangely enough I don't hate my work. I do location research using satellite imagery and the world wide web. What I hate is office life and corporate regulations which make me anxious and often interfere with my job. I hate that my boss doesn't know a thing about my job and talks over me and expects things that can't be done. I hate that because my coworkers want more money they kiss his ass and do the job incorrectly because they know he doesn't know better, they know the only thing he gets a hard on for is production numbers.
120% production rate = promotion 50% of that production being done wrong? ah who cares.
And there's the constant threat of them putting my job offshore. If they did then they would keep me in the company and put me back on policy issuance. Which is basically data entry and something that makes me want to stab myself in the face with a ballpoint pen.
I am very proud of my work and putting this team together. But I get no recognition and it feels like no one appreciates you if you don't kneel down and lick their boots. I'm not proud anymore. I hate these people. Not as people... I hate what the system has made them into. And most of them are just as if not more miserable than me.
What a broken system. I also don't like being cooped up for 8 hours a day and not being allowed to help make directions for the team, the team I basically run, or the department because it "isn't my job." when I'm really the only one that would know what would be best.
So I'm hoping to use it to get a leg up into ecological conservation environmental mapping. Or perhaps maybe getting into my own business of prospecting. But it's really hard not to succumb to depression and realize I'm stuck in this shithole as much as anyone else is.
Blah.
It's not entirely true. I know a few people who own and work for their own business. Is there anything you think you could open up to doing yourself?
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Free time is the only time
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be in terms of my career and what I have to offer. It's the same feeling as having a car that won't start but you have no idea what is wrong with it and so can't start fixing it. But with a timer running..
I want to crack my head open and crawl out of my body like it's a dirty, wet pair of overalls and take a spiritual shower. Like a butterfly breaking out of it's cocoon. It's like being in a full body iron maiden and it sucks.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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KetBom
Stranger



Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 64
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Yeah im interested in conservation work. Applied for a job at a nursery that supplies plants for revegetation .
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24040702 - 01/26/17 08:46 AM (7 years, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
Amanita86 said: I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be in terms of my career and what I have to offer. It's the same feeling as having a car that won't start but you have no idea what is wrong with it and so can't start fixing it. But with a timer running..
I want to crack my head open and crawl out of my body like it's a dirty, wet pair of overalls and take a spiritual shower. Like a butterfly breaking out of it's cocoon. It's like being in a full body iron maiden and it sucks.

Quote:
KetBom said: Yeah im interested in conservation work. Applied for a job at a nursery that supplies plants for revegetation .
That's pretty cool. I wish jobs like that were open to me but I just can't do physical labor 8 hours a day. Or at all some days.
You know everyone or almost everyone in the market has to settle and downgrade. And it's simply because the market can't keep up with the population. Nature always balances itself and overpopulation and technology is going to kill capitalism or capitalism is going to kill overpopulation. ...after severe depressions for at least a generation or 2.
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Free time is the only time
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 22 days
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Quote:
Amanita86 said: I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be in terms of my career and what I have to offer. It's the same feeling as having a car that won't start but you have no idea what is wrong with it and so can't start fixing it. But with a timer running..
I want to crack my head open and crawl out of my body like it's a dirty, wet pair of overalls and take a spiritual shower. Like a butterfly breaking out of it's cocoon. It's like being in a full body iron maiden and it sucks.
I have no real worth your time advice to give out, but I get you man
On your car analogy, if you have no idea how to fix your car then find someone who can. Have you thought of going to a career councillor?
Also I've posted here in the summer. I do not feel so shitty about myself anymore
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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So like as some of you guys know I have a borderline personality. Which I know seems like a horrible terrible awfully flawed trait in a mod. But those of you that do know me know that I keep my shit under wraps most of the time. I don't let half my feelings become thoughts and I don't let half my thoughts become actions and when shit is okay all of that is pretty well controlled.
But sometimes, every now and then, it's not. And I think most people would break at some point when I break. I also think I don't break when other people would (and coincidentally that repression apparently develops into mental illness. It's kinda fucking funny that not freaking out is how I end up being fucked up and freaking out.) I wasn't doing super well.
I was stressed as hell. I was depressed. I was more anxious than anything. Having severe panic attacks. I got into a fight with my lady friend last night and now I'm manic as fuck. Me yet not me. I don't mind it, I don't give many shits when I'm like this. But I tend to do things I later regret when I get like this. My back also hurts and that's been pissing me off. Is irritability part of mania? I don't remember. I feel like I could/should flip tables. But that would probably hurt my back more 
I desperately want life to change and I'm trying to push it into changing and I feel like that desperation is going to cause me to make a major "life" mistake.
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Free time is the only time
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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When I get manic I post bullshit everywhere on here. I'm glad this community isn't a stranger to mental illness and no one really gets mad at me just let it out
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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xzylocybin
Stranger



Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 2,304
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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I am also in a state of mania after being depressed as fuck and haven't eaten in two days (not because of drugs just depression idk)
The way your are explaining your cycle of dealing with shit/depression/blowing up ect. reminds me a lot of how my brain has been functioning the last ten or so years (or not functioning) not sure how common that is.
Take it or leave it but right now the universe is telling me that you should try Jiu Jitsu.
Edited by xzylocybin (01/27/17 05:32 PM)
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24044730 - 01/27/17 05:37 PM (7 years, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
KetBom said:
Im 27, my problem is i dont care to work a job im not interested in.
That's like saying I don't want to wash clothes or do the dishes or change my child's diaper.
It's called internal resistance - the "It sucks" dis ease of the mind.
A job gives you food eat, clothes, and shelter. Beware of looking for happiness in your job.
Or in anything outside yourself for that matter!
Quote:
KetBom said:
Fuck this shitty world. ive tried to hard and got nothing in return but a sore back and a bunch of shit .
Don't look to the world to be happy. That's the road to hell.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Quote:
xzylocybin said: I am also in a state of mania after being depressed as fuck and haven't eaten in two days (not because of drugs just depression idk)
The way your are explaining your cycle of dealing with shit/depression/blowing up ect. reminds me a lot of how my brain has been functioning the last ten or so years (or not functioning) not sure how common that is.
Take it or leave it but right now the universe is telling me that you should try Jiu Jitsu.
You know I don't really feel like I have a disorder. I have a poorly understood personality type that has manifested into... Unfavorable cycles due to a foundation of instability. I honestly love my personality. But I really need nice solid ground to stand on. I hate how the word "triggered" has become a stupid meme. Anyone with mental illness or trauma know that "triggered" is a very real and very serious thing.
I wanna say my fight last night triggered the mania but I cycle through it every so often anyway so maybe not. I know it triggered some not so nice ideas. I think sometimes the fact I fight the depression so hard is why I get into manic cycles. I have all this energy, bad or not, when I have had 0 energy and came home exhausted and sick every night this week.
maybe I'll come back and read this when I can think more clearly and make more sense of it.
As for Jiu Jitsu man I would absolutely love to get into a martial art. I couldn't handle the training tho. Health sucks too much. I was teaching myself tai chi a few years ago and I really liked it. The motions and smooth transitions did both my mind and body good. But I had an episode of bad health (and coinciding depression) and stopped and now I don't have the room to do it.
I'd love to get a personal trainer to help pace me into it. That's a big problem I have in any physical activity. I forget I'm not a "normal" person with a "normal" body and take on more than I'm ready to handle. I have to underestimate myself to keep from overestimating myself and that doesn't often help the self worth issues.
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Free time is the only time
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 4 minutes
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
I have a poorly understood personality type that has manifested into... Unfavorable cycles due to a foundation of instability.
You see yourself as significantly different than other people?
Don't you think that type of egotistic grandiosity fuels misery?
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Anyone with mental illness or trauma know that "triggered" is a very real and very serious thing.
Anyone (everyone) who has experienced disturbing emotions can point to a "trigger."
Road rage murder can be said to be "triggered" by the other driver, but . . .
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Trigger refers to emotional response. No one aside from those suffering from severe mental illness or mental handicap can blame actions on "being triggered." I'm also aware it became a stupid meme due to stupid hateful idiots using the word inappropriately.
And I personally believe everyone is unique. We are born with God's rng of millions of traits from our family and millions more from the cosmos than then millions more from our lives, our experiences, and our actions within them. I consider the world and myself creatures of duality. I have very prominent dualities. But I think there is a core of a human being, maybe what would be called "the human spirit", that makes us all the exact same at heart. But in millions of tiny little ways that come up to equal a whole all 7 billion of us are unique.
There is no one quite like me RJ and there is no one quite like you. We are all very similar and yet profoundly different.
Which is why the trend of separatism really bothers me. How can you define yourself under a label when the reality is no one else that uses the term is really like you? And how can you hate someone that uses another label when the reality is they really are alot like you?
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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I also think there is something deeper within us that, at its core, makes us the same as every other "living" "soul-bearing" being in the universe.
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Free time is the only time
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 22 days
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said: When I get manic I post bullshit everywhere on here. I'm glad this community isn't a stranger to mental illness and no one really gets mad at me just let it out
This.
and I have a best female friend of 15 years who lets me unload shit on her chat and we debate and slowly slowly she smacks some sense in me. Last time I was frustrated and had a manic episode due to my irritance and frustration at darwinism, millenials and people like me, how slowly slowly people of my kind are just being ushered aside to make room for this new age of instagram attention whores, swaggers and all the crap that I just don't get. I got really mad on how society has raised the bar so much and how most people, at least in my country, think they deserve so much better cause they were lead to believe they are such special little snowflakes through social media brainwashing. I wasn't mad at the people per say but rather more mad at the fact on how finding someone who is right for me just got more difficult and nightmarish and how connecting with someone, even though I've been deprived of this for most of my life, just got even more difficult cause I can't relate much to anyone anymore. In the midst of that mad mania I justified terrorism and my need to unload my frustration on society with an mp5
Madness but you gotta do
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
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KetBom
Stranger



Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 64
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
KetBom said:
Im 27, my problem is i dont care to work a job im not interested in.
That's like saying I don't want to wash clothes or do the dishes or change my child's diaper.
It's called internal resistance - the "It sucks" dis ease of the mind.
A job gives you food eat, clothes, and shelter. Beware of looking for happiness in your job.
Or in anything outside yourself for that matter!
Quote:
KetBom said:
Fuck this shitty world. ive tried to hard and got nothing in return but a sore back and a bunch of shit .
Don't look to the world to be happy. That's the road to hell.
Hmm did a google search for internal resistance and all i got was batteries.
I can afford food, shelter and clothes on my government handouts.. im not really sure what youre getting at but if im working a job i hate then im going to be unhappy all the time garunteed. Id rather live of the bare minimums i can afford with handouts then go do work i have no interest in. But it gets really boring having all the free time in the world and no money to spend :p
I dont mind washing and doing dishes. Id even use non disposable daipers and wash them 2 :p but working for money at some job i dont care for to buy stuff i dont really need is hard for me to swallow.. i apply for jobs that id love to do but it seems this world is overpopulated and theres hundreds of other people applying to. Lol i applied for a job at a recycling plant, working with helping homeless people, native plant nursery. All jobs i could do well but nope. Its really depressing jobsearching so i just look every now and again now because im to the point where i feel ill never get a job again. My last few jobs were doing shit i had no care for and i was getting shit money, i spent it all on drugs, alcohol and petrol. I was working at dominos pizza doing deliveries and i was smoking half an ounce of weed a week, i went crazy and quit my job and rode my mototorbike across the country spending all my money on liquor, drugs and petrol. I mean all my money, I had no money left and was in the middle of no where :p i guess i was hoping I met with an "accident" and id be done. Im slightly/quite insane and doing a job where i feel im just being used as a cheap worker sends me incredibly insane. I have some "mental issues" far greater than "internal resistance" id like to not go insane again so im staying away from doing work that just makes me depressed and suicidal. I cant settle for a job i dont enjoy because it leads to drug and alcohol abuse everytime, then i either quit or get fired. Yeah its quite obvious that having no good references and a list of shortlived jobs on my resume isnt doing me any good. But thats what happened and i live with the consequences of making bad desicions. Schizophrenia and drug/alcohol abuse is quite common in my dads side of the family. But what was the right choice. Not touching marijuana which then went onto lsd and mushroom use which is what everyone would say is the root of my issues. I learn from my mistakes but it seems that this world isnt very forgiving of mistakes and ive used up all my second chances. I have some criminal charges which narrows down my career oppurtunities also. All because of things i did while in psychotic states. Whos to blame. What came first, the chicken or the egg :p I never hurt anyone, but now i have a police record that screws me over. Disorderly conduct, stealing (i took a phone charger that god had left there for me. because i felt i needed to charge my phone to survive??), attempted agravated burglary (i broke a window to a house i thought that the "secret group" had sent me messages telepathically saying its okay this house is empty you can stay here the night) turned out i was just psychotic and the house was occupied, reckless driving (fair enough..) but why make available such powerful motorbikes in the first place.. if the most powerful bike was 100cc then there would be no one going wow look this things so powerful and cool i need this.. still trying to understand why theres rocketships flying into space? Is there any good reason for that? Anyways i have too much free time. I cant even do volunteer jobs because of my police record, i cant do good even if i want to ha.. not sure what came first the chicken or the egg.. all i know is jobs that i dont like drive me insane, i dont have any internal resistance to insanity. I was working at the post office when i started to hear voices in my head. I was becoming aware that i was made to work so fast i couldnt even follow the safety rules that we would have to hear about everyday, "dont do this dont do that, but you have to meet these times that are impossible to meet without breaking the safety rules" so idecided to take that up with boss and tell him how i felt about it, his idea was to make me think i was insane and drive me insane. Its like people pretend to care for one another but really it only goes as far as what they want and need. . Forgive me father for i have believed we lived in a world where people cared about each other :p not saying im perfect . But i try to do whats right. Seems many jobs just want you to try bust your ass and make them maximum profit while youre still healthy and then when youre not they kick you to the curb and find the next idiot :p im done. Should i have took the advice and stayed of drugs. Im not sure i want to have my eyes shut to the real issues of the world, i dont regret doing way more mushrooms than advised. I did mushrooms for 2 months straight one time, was amazing I was experiencing "synchronicity"! I almost lit myself on fire by accident a few times though as well :p
Tl:dr I came to this thread to share a feeling with a fellow shroomerite because while its not going to be the exact same feeling and set of circumstances, its better than being told you have a disease :p
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Anonymous #1
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24049824 - 01/29/17 06:31 PM (7 years, 1 day ago) |
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Sweet, so all the people working shit jobs and getting their pay shorted are flipping the bill for you to sit around and do drugs while amounting to nothing. That's great man. Luckily we don't have your "disease" where we hate our jobs, get put through the ringer and end up broken. I saw you mention diapers, great you should breed some more and make even MORE money you didn't earn. That's the spirit, you're a true inspiration. Obama would be so proud of you.
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KetBom
Stranger



Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 64
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Sweet, so all the people working shit jobs and getting their pay shorted are flipping the bill for you to sit around and do drugs while amounting to nothing. That's great man. Luckily we don't have your "disease" where we hate our jobs, get put through the ringer and end up broken. I saw you mention diapers, great you should breed some more and make even MORE money you didn't earn. That's the spirit, you're a true inspiration. Obama would be so proud of you.
Thanks mate . Im trying my hardest to get a job. Im not doing any drugs. Havent for about a year. I just take my antipsychotics now so i dont get delusions and have another psychotic break. Its hard to function the meds help but they also make me extremely sedated and unmotivated. Also im in Australia so you dont have to worry about me getting some of your pay. I want a job but theres hundreds of other people that want it more than me. I dont know where youre from but its hard to find a job here. What do you want from me..i dont even care to be honest. Sorry i have a hard time reading warning signs. you think i enjoy doing nothing in life but wandering around in circles wondering where it all went wrong.. i decided to work at the post office i was really excited for a career and spending my working life there. I got fired because i was right about there bullshit about making us deliver mail unsafely and speaking up about it. I didnt know we were supposed to just submit to putting our life on the line for some money. Many people died delivering mail there.. really blew my mind I had a full on psychotic break for 2 weeks straight and i havent been the same since. How confusing. I was supposed to risk my life so someone sitting back doing fuckall could get rich haha. Fucken hell. Been lost ever since then lol. Guess im sitting back now. But im definitely not getting rich. I only have enough to just survive. Im pretty much stuck in my home rocking back n forth in a corner scared to go outside :p
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Anonymous #1
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24050157 - 01/29/17 08:26 PM (7 years, 1 day ago) |
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Well that sucks. Hope things look up for you in the future mate. I had a bit of downtime myself a few years back and noticed the longer you stay inside and isolated the scarier the outside world becomes. Once you get back out there you see it's not so big and scary afterall.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Man the simple truth is there's more people than there is jobs.
There's plenty of shit to be done but it isn't considered "profitable" and no one wants to pay people to, say, fill pot holes and clean streets. You're paying for the materials, equipment, and worker and are going to get literal nothing out of it.
fuck what society gets out of it.
What about me, the investor?
Our economic model isn't going to hold us through the future, that too is simple truth. Sooner or later we will have a majority of labor done by robots and a majority of people will be unable to afford the fruits of that automated labor - the whole system will fall in on itself.
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Free time is the only time
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KetBom
Stranger



Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 64
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Yeah it does seem like thats the case. Too many people not enough jobs. Ive been thinking to try uber driving lately..
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24057597 - 02/01/17 03:25 PM (6 years, 11 months ago) |
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Never hurts to try man. Worst case scenario is you get to experience something new and meet new people.
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Free time is the only time
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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I'd be worried about my safety doing that. I don't know what kind of security measures they have if any but in my city that seems like an easy way to get a car and some cash to get out of town if you were on the run. I don't like people I don't know in my car.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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KetBom
Stranger



Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 64
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: The Official [Re: KetBom]
#24057701 - 02/01/17 04:14 PM (6 years, 11 months ago) |
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Mm looked into it and you have to apply for taxi extension on ya license. They check your driving history and criminal record. I have no chance.. back to wandering around doing nothing for me.
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,994
Loc: so many roads
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I can't uber because my car is 2 door. My cousin and bestie both have been profitable. I also fear the security associated with it.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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My back has been hurting since Christmas. Not unusual for me but the severity and consistency is.
I tried doing some stretches but all that did was give me abdominal spasms. Anyone have any idea of some kind of stretch or exercise I can do for my back that won't put pressure on my abdomen?
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Free time is the only time
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PickleJam
Friend



Registered: 07/17/16
Posts: 142
Loc: walkin on sunshine
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: My back has been hurting since Christmas. Not unusual for me but the severity and consistency is.
I tried doing some stretches but all that did was give me abdominal spasms. Anyone have any idea of some kind of stretch or exercise I can do for my back that won't put pressure on my abdomen?
Look up some yoga on YouTube, it can go a long way. If you're not used to stretching abdominal spasms can just be from those muscles being like WTF lol. But yoga helps especially because you focus on the breath while you stretch, and go slow into stretches, and really get the most out of them. You can even search for yoga specifically for a sore/stiff back. Hope this helps you friend.
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"We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
  DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM----> <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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I got scared off of yoga. The point of alot of poses is to flex some muscles while stretching others. I get alot of spasms ticks and twitches and considering all the other relative issues in that upper abdominal area it's not surprising. In the past, even if there weren't spasms, putting any more than a little strain on that area has hurt like hell.
I've been considering trying one of those things you hang upside down in but I'm worried about the same issue. As well as the contents of my stomach coming up... Or down, and choking me.
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Free time is the only time
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