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OfflineJohnEddy
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone
    #23918179 - 12/11/16 10:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

hi, so about a month ago I posted on this site about the horrible existential dread and hopelessness I had been feeling, and some people on here were very helpful and kind but my condition is growing far worse, and I was wondering if there was any kind soul who has battled with LSD related mental damage who could possibly PM with me sometime so I can sort things out


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Offlineczech
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918208 - 12/11/16 10:54 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You are probably just having trouble coming to terms with your mind. Giving an ignorant person LSD is like showing an NPC that they are in a video game. You can't go back, you will never get "better" your consciousness is just in an altered state.

You took acid, get over it. You will die, every memory and thought you have ever held dear will be wiped off the planet the instant you die. Just live with it. Get a job christ. If you have time to have constant revelations every single day then maybe use your skills to analyze information and better yourself and others?

Maybe you're just a schizo and should not have ever laid hands on drugs.

The power to hold the light of consciousness to this universe is a gift beyond description and you're squandering it with petty worry.

ADAPT! JESUS CHRIST ADAPT TO YOURSELF!


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: czech]
    #23918213 - 12/11/16 11:00 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I`m far from an Ignorant person, even before LSD I was a very empathetic person who questioned my surroundings, but my analysis of the world was empowering before I had a bad acid trip, now when I break down everything around me, I become terrified beyond words of the world around me, I instantly feel infinity in every direction, I get overwhelmed by how big the sky is, I look at another person and can not grasp the billions of small working parts that keeps one of us together, and I am in this thought pattern absolutely constantly and have tried meditating and not drinking caffeine and stopped smoking weed for the past month and I still feel them same. My life is not in a good place right now but it hasn`t been for a very long time, but before now, as shitty as it was it still seemed like life, this is like a nightmare that never ever stops


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OfflinePsychoKinesiS
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Registered: 08/05/11
Posts: 1,444
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: czech]
    #23918214 - 12/11/16 11:02 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yes I'm suffering with panic disorder, agoraphobia, hppd, insomnia, hypochondriasis, and now possibly IBS thanks to psychedelics. These are things that run in my family but the psychedelics brought them out very early. I've been trying CBT and accupuncture. I might need to start antidepressants or lithium.

This didn't all happen in one bad trip though. It took 100+ trips.


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Edited by PsychoKinesiS (12/11/16 11:35 PM)


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Offlineczech
baked like a casserole
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 3,099
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Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918223 - 12/11/16 11:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I've been there man. I used to take 10 or 15 drops from a vial with my oj in the morning once a month. I've known those same depths. You are not unique, you are not sick, your consciousness is just in a different way now.

Seriously get over yourself, the world is full of 20 somethings who think that cause they took acid a bunch they are special.

Blow that ego away with some deemster maybe.


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: czech] * 3
    #23918227 - 12/11/16 11:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

i dont think hes saying that he thinks he is special and honestly you are giving him some shit advice man.

my advice to you OP is that its just gonna take some time. you are just really rattled by the experience but it will get better with time. If nothing gets better for you maybe you should go talk to someone and get on some medication because it might be an underlying mental illness that was triggered by LSD.

idk tho, i think you might be just fine and overwhelmed.

dont listen to the bad advice. hold out, some people will give you some good advice around here.


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: czech]
    #23918231 - 12/11/16 11:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I`ve seen people my age who are unbearable Pseudo intellectuals who think they`re spacey because they dropped acid.  I did it because I was lost in my life and I wanted answers, and I`ve had a 180 on my worldview and seen behind a lot of curtains, but it has caught me in an incredibly uncomfortable thought loop, like a bad trip going on in one part of your brain, but you`re with it just enough to control the steering wheel at the same time


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918237 - 12/11/16 11:18 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

i mean dude if its really that bad then you should seek some help outside of the shroomery. We are drug enthusiasts not doctors... but i really feel for you man. I hope things get better for you.

if its really that overwhelming how do you get through the day?

can you get any benzos? maybe taking some xanax will help chill you out a little and have time to think it over and realize you are ok...

just dont get hooked on that stuff... then you will be more anxious than now ha


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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Offlinetheroner
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Registered: 12/06/16
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Loc: Blue Ridge Mountains, NC
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: PsychoKinesiS]
    #23918242 - 12/11/16 11:19 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Hi, I have been through that. It takes time to reintegrate. It helps to talk to a therapist if you can find one you feel safe & comfortable with. Regular excercise helps too. LSD expands our minds and it can be painful to get "stuck expanded" when as humans we need to be able to have finite personal consciousness most of the time. Glimpses of the infinite are wonderful. To get stuck with outer expanded focus is a curse unless we find ways to integrate back into human perspective.
You will find a way. Know that it takes time and get related to kind others.
We wake up to the endless suffering and pain of countless beings (e.g. Factory farms, or greed driven wars) and see the smallness of human egos. Yet we are far from the ideal visions we see on psychedelics. The gap is existentially painful at first.
Don't despair. Find your way little by little.


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: SnowDaze]
    #23918250 - 12/11/16 11:27 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah man, I don`t mean to turn a message board into a therapy session for me, it`s just late and I`m alone and incredibly anxious and wanted some comfort I guess. I`m thinking about going to a therapist, I just don`t have a lot of time because I`m currently in minimum wage slavery to survive, and in my free time I`m binging on things I at least used to enjoy to keep myself somewhat grounded


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Registered: 02/24/13
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918254 - 12/11/16 11:30 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

what are you bingeing on?

where in the USA are you, wanna hang out? i can be your makeshift therapist


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: SnowDaze]
    #23918255 - 12/11/16 11:31 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

New York

I`m just binging on music and TV shows and reading and things that used to make up my identity, but it feels like it`s all in vain the whole time, but it`s distracting enough that I don`t break down when I`m alone


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Registered: 02/24/13
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918258 - 12/11/16 11:33 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

ive been through something kind of similar after the first time i tripped real hard. it will get better man, give it some time...

how much did you take


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: SnowDaze]
    #23918266 - 12/11/16 11:38 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I tried it for the first time in July, 1 tab, then about a month later I did 2 and they were both fine trips.  Then in early September I had a very bad experience only taking 1, but it was  overly powerful and it was the most terrifying thing I`ve experienced. I actually took it a couple more times in small doses the most recent I took a weaker tab before a concert and had a very good time.  It`s been more since late october/early November that my thoughts have become very scary and my life has become very difficult


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Registered: 02/24/13
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918268 - 12/11/16 11:39 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

why would you take more if you were already having a hard time integrating the experience?


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: SnowDaze]
    #23918270 - 12/11/16 11:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

the bad trip didn`t immediately cause a problem in my day to day life, I figured it just happens and I`d had more good trips than bad so why not

It probably wasn`t a good idea but that was my reasoning


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918277 - 12/11/16 11:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

well like i said man, just keep on keepin on. it will get better, i wish you the best of luck in your journeys.

hopefully talking might have made it a little better for you



love & light brother


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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OfflineJohnEddy
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Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: SnowDaze]
    #23918278 - 12/11/16 11:46 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

thank you man, you`re a good soul, peace to you as well

I don`t know if professional help will do any good but I think it`s worth a shot


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OfflineSnowDaze
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918285 - 12/11/16 11:50 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

thanks man!

let me know how it goes!


--------------------
:gd_icon: If you get confused, listen to the music play :gd_icon:

:smugjerry: :feelswierman:

:wook: :barbershreds: :scumbagsteve:


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Offlineluishroomer
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Registered: 11/23/16
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Re: I think I`m permanently damaged from LSD and need to talk to someone [Re: JohnEddy]
    #23918298 - 12/11/16 11:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Hey man I've been through the same kind of existential anxiety before, and I'm still sort of going through it now. Everyday and every minute was constant thinking about death and fear of ceasing to exist. At first it was about myself then I started to fear losing others. It started two months ago when I smoked way too much weed, which I'm sure is not nearly as intense as an acid trip but it still brought it out.
I just want to tell you that the constant anxiety and fear will go away. I had the worst week of my life when I would wake up from a nightmare everyday and with constant butterflies in my stomach. My stomach would hurt and the butterflies would not help. I wanted to lay in fetus position on my couch but unlike depression it just wouldn't help, because I could go down to the deepest darkest cave in the world and I still would not have been able to escape it.
Every hour was horrible, I had my first near-anxiety attacks at school and I would have to leave the class because I was so afraid. I had to call hotlines so that I could have someone to talk to, I really hated it. I would just ask myself, "why the hell does it have to be me?".
Over time, I got used to the idea of one day dying. I see it as a release. Sure life will suck the day that my parents die, or if one of my siblings die. And relatively soon I know one of my grandparents will die, but a week ago my sister announced that I would soon be an uncle. I will have a little nephew/neice who may look up to me, and my parents will be grandparents. Also my grandparents have been depressed for the longest time and my dad says that they are really really happy because my sister is getting married.
My point is, is that life is suffering as much as it is happiness. And vice versa. Focus on the good in life, and try to enjoy the good things now instead of later. Life is beautiful man, it will get better with time and patience. Find a hobby, for example I'm going to be building a PC next week after finals, I've been waiting for this moment for over a year.
peace :grin:


Edited by luishroomer (12/12/16 12:01 AM)


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