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shadyy
aHhahhHA


Registered: 09/08/08
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Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home?
#23907636 - 12/08/16 04:33 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
Edited by shadyy (12/08/16 04:42 PM)
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Ezuma
Gontish Wizard



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
#23907640 - 12/08/16 04:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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it depends how crazy they are luckily I've got two sisters so we could at least take turns babysitting the crazy old folks
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vinsue
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy] 3
#23907682 - 12/08/16 04:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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My kids better not...
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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Ezuma] 1
#23907684 - 12/08/16 04:50 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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If you'd asked me this 5 years ago I woulda said "no fuck you asshole."
But well one of them is having dementia type symptoms and this year had been really rough as both my parents seem to suddenly be aging quickly. It sucks to admit but I really don't have the mental or physical health to take care of them. I can't trust my younger brother to do shit. And my older brother might be one to take them in and actually be able to do something for them but it would be a heavy burden and he works his ass off just taking care of himself and his pets (his wife makes decent money tho so that helps.) i just... I dunno man. It really does fucking hurt like hell to know that I can't take care of them.
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twighead
mͯó



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23907699 - 12/08/16 04:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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It doesn't have to be like that if they still have a house of their own.. (your parents) - hiring competent caretakers between you and your siblings could be viable and allow them to stay in a comfortable familiar spot... It's not family personal care.. but its much better than a nursing home and some of the better caretakers have reserves of patience and compassion that even family doesn't a lot of the times.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: twighead]
#23907733 - 12/08/16 05:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah ideally I think that's what we'd try first but they've made questionable financial decisions. ..and are seriously considering more. And I don't know if we'd be able to afford that once they retire.
My great grandma lived in assisted living apartments. You get your own pad and someone just comes and checks on you every so often and gives you meals and stuff if you can't be trusted to cook for yourself (she couldn't cuz her arthritis was bad). But she had her own fridge and would give us jello and stuff. I really liked that set up. Have good memories of spending time with her in her very private personal apartment room.
My other great grandma tho (my dads parents had kids when they were really young) lived in a trailer park and eventually got alzheimer's and my grandpa and his wife took her in and it was such a burden on them... My grandpa is an incredibly strong man but it just about crushed him to see his mom in that condition.
So I hope for the best. But with how they're doing in their early-mid 50s I'm considering the worst. It has been a particularly hard year tho so hopefully things will look better as time goes on.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Ezuma]
#23907738 - 12/08/16 05:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Id throw them out onto the streets like dogs
jk
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Shroomslip
Architekt



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy] 1
#23907778 - 12/08/16 05:24 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Everyone in my family wanted to put my grandma in a nursing home and she didn't want to go. Me and my wife became responsible for caring for her and we took care of her until she died. Seems like as soon as she didn't want to go into a nursing home, all her kids just abandoned her because they almost never came to visit her or pick her up to go out to eat or any of the other shit they used to do all the time. I was the only one in the family that gave a shit about what she wanted.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Shroomslip]
#23907785 - 12/08/16 05:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Why wouldn't you? If your parents can't take care of themselves somebody needs to. Sure as fuck won't be me.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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Shroomslip
Architekt



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: King Klick]
#23907799 - 12/08/16 05:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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If they raised you, and you have the ability to care for them why would you? I'm sure it wasn't all cake and ice cream to take care of you when you wouldn't have been able to care for yourself.
I get that not everyone is going to be capable of doing it, some may need more care than you can provide, but I'd wager there are a lot of parents in nursing homes who don't really have to be there, but are only there because it would be inconvenient for their children to care for them. Which is kind of messed up IMO.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Loc:
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Shroomslip]
#23907812 - 12/08/16 05:38 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I would rather die in a nursing home with other old homies than sheltered in my kids bedroom
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Shroomslip]
#23907813 - 12/08/16 05:38 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Old people typically learn to love the nursing home. If they're crippled they still get a social life there.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: King Klick]
#23907909 - 12/08/16 06:02 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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If they were losing it yes. My mom already told me she wants me to put her in a home when she gets Alzheimer's.
A nursing home if the only place that has the time and training to deal with them. Its not fair to them and its not fair to the people looking after them. My grandma has really bas Alzheimer's. She gets sad and angery all the time and does weird stuff. Its so rough on my grandfather too.
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shadyy
aHhahhHA


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: BANANA.MAN]
#23907914 - 12/08/16 06:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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Alyssa
consecrated woman ✝️

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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
#23907917 - 12/08/16 06:05 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Fuck no. My mom is dead, my dad is going to move in with me when he's old and live with me for the rest of his life. Fuck institutions.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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pinedownpioneer

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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Alyssa]
#23907979 - 12/08/16 06:23 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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No
-------------------- Trade list Need kratom? Message me now.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Alyssa]
#23908002 - 12/08/16 06:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I always said no too....and tried to help with my mother but, when someone has dementia and needs to be tended to around the clock...it comes down to not being able to do it and even a danger to their health...my mom had a broken hip and because of her dementia , couldn't remember it so she kept trying to walk and kept falling. It was heart breaking but sometimes, you need to let others that can provide all their needs take over.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
#23908004 - 12/08/16 06:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
i hate liz said:
My grandma does that. One time she kept getting up saying she needed to brush her pants off.
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: BANANA.MAN] 2
#23908038 - 12/08/16 06:36 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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24 hours a day care is sometimes what's needed......those who say never have never had to seriously consider it. In the perfect world of course you should and would look after those who cared for and raised you.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: pineninja] 1
#23909829 - 12/09/16 11:14 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.
I remember more than a few "companion" robots being invented or old people in Japan. But that seems to be a very introverted society (judging from a distance I have no right to judge from.) but I've also heard it's sacrilegious to not take in and take care of your parents no matter how unwell they are if you're from China.
I used to be friends with a Russian girl and it kinda shocked me how she said more often than not older people just get abandoned when they can't really take care of themselves. They don't have programs like meals on wheels there.
I think alot of this is cultural anyway. But you are an asshole, culture or not, if your parents raised you well and you don't at least go visit them.
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Free time is the only time
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Connoisseur

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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
#23910091 - 12/09/16 12:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Get outage town
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natedawgnow
Rocky mountain hood rat



Registered: 02/09/15
Posts: 8,939
Loc: ation
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Connoisseur]
#23910179 - 12/09/16 01:12 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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We live in a throwaway society. Don't want your food? Throw it away. Don't want the responsibility of dealing with your parents in their old age even though they dealt with your bullshit for 18+ years? Hell, throw them away too.
I really don't want my mom to go to a home. She's too independent and stubborn to even if my siblings and I did, and doesn't want to live with her kids. She's already 65 and I'm only 25, so the probability that I'll have enough money to afford the care she needs by the time she needs it (which could be days to 15+ years, who knows) isn't necessarily in my favor. My older sister could do it (married, kids, husband with good job) but I don't know if she'd stick it out when times got tough.
I'd like to make enough money to buy her a house or a condo close to my house which is what she has always wanted, and just pay for outpatient care
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Crystal G



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23910191 - 12/09/16 01:17 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.
What? No, it's actually more common in East Asia to keep your parents and house them in your own home, and for young adult children to care for them until they die.
To answer the question, I might put them in a home depending on their disability. If they are just old, then no I wouldn't. But if either one of them had Alzheimers or some debilitating kidney disease and needed 24-hour round the clock nursing care, then I would put them in a home. People with Alzheimers are dangerous, they frequently run away from the home forgetting who they are, or they accidentally set the house on fire.
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ohcrapitsnico
The Other One


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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Crystal G]
#23910212 - 12/09/16 01:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I used to have a healthcare job that had me in nursing homes half the time. After that experience I would never willingly send a parent to one of those places unless they had a disease that required professional care. People who work there are often overworked, really don't give a shit about the residents, and may out and out abuse or mistreat them. That is the norm.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Crystal G]
#23910256 - 12/09/16 01:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.
What? No, it's actually more common in East Asia to keep your parents and house them in your own home, and for young adult children to care for them until they die.
To answer the question, I might put them in a home depending on their disability. If they are just old, then no I wouldn't. But if either one of them had Alzheimers or some debilitating kidney disease and needed 24-hour round the clock nursing care, then I would put them in a home. People with Alzheimers are dangerous, they frequently run away from the home forgetting who they are, or they accidentally set the house on fire.
Would it have been common for Japanese people of that generation to not have children then? I thought for sure I'd read/heard a couple times about there being no one to care for the elderly there.
Could have possibly been another 'large' asian country. I dunno I guess I should have refreshed myself on the topic before opening my big mouth.
But yeah watching my gpa take care of his mom Alzheimer's made me really "get" why some people genuinely can't take care of their family. I dunno how my grandpa did it. He really is tough as nails with a heart of gold kinda guy.
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imachavel
I loved and lost but I loved-ftw



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Crystal G]
#23910267 - 12/09/16 01:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.
What? No, it's actually more common in East Asia to keep your parents and house them in your own home, and for young adult children to care for them until they die.
To answer the question, I might put them in a home depending on their disability. If they are just old, then no I wouldn't. But if either one of them had Alzheimers or some debilitating kidney disease and needed 24-hour round the clock nursing care, then I would put them in a home. People with Alzheimers are dangerous, they frequently run away from the home forgetting who they are, or they accidentally set the house on fire.
My grandfather almost burned down his nursing home. With a smoking pipe. No kidding.
He needs to be in that nursing home. I've never put a parent in a nursing home but I've put my dad in rehab twice and now I'm trying to get my mom to go.
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I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!
I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: imachavel]
#23910285 - 12/09/16 01:46 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I tried to send my mom to the nut house, like they did with me, it didn't work out.
Wish she would have but at least trying to force her to go made her cut back on the boozing.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23910296 - 12/09/16 01:51 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Different tho. They come back from that. And usually come back as a better person, or perspective, or at least out of some destructive habit. Like 99% of elderly go to nursing homes and die there.
Tho my god mom has been in and out of nursing homes alot in the last 5 years or so. Usually after surgery or when she broke a hip or something. Tho she hasn't been in a long time. I think they gave up cuz she hates that shit and has a tongue that could spit fire. My grand dad has her in a spare room with an in home nurse coming every day since shes basically bed ridden and his back is bad.
Man. I don't ever want to get old.
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Free time is the only time
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: ohcrapitsnico]
#23910844 - 12/09/16 04:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
ohcrapitsnico said: I used to have a healthcare job that had me in nursing homes half the time. After that experience I would never willingly send a parent to one of those places unless they had a disease that required professional care. People who work there are often overworked, really don't give a shit about the residents, and may out and out abuse or mistreat them. That is the norm.
This, my brother works in one of these. People get a 10 min turn every 4 to 6 hours. If they regularly mess themselves often they just leave them soiled until the next turn. People don't even have the empathy to treat them like they are living.
My mom moved on with me 2 years ago. No way she is going to be abandoned.
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Crystal G



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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23910859 - 12/09/16 05:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Would it have been common for Japanese people of that generation to not have children then? I thought for sure I'd read/heard a couple times about there being no one to care for the elderly there.
Yes, that is true of Japan, and one of the reasons they say the nation is in crisis, is because people are not having children that often anymore. This means there are less taxpayers in the system to support social programs, particularly for the elderly as they begin outnumbering the youth.
Nowadays it is not uncommon for unwed children to continue living with their parents even as they reach middle-age into their 30's and 40's. They call them "single parasites" in Japan. My own aunts didn't move out of the house until they were in their 40's believe it or not, because in a lot of cultures you don't move out of the parents' house until you're married. (They never got married)
But these are the same kids that end up caring for their parents later on down the road, so I guess it all balances itself out in the end.
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badchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
#23910893 - 12/09/16 05:14 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Like others have said, I don't think anyone wants to put their parents in a home, but with round the clock care it can be a necessity.
Really, the only reason I pursue a career and money, so mom has a good home and later on, I get a luxurious one.
-------------------- ...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge. It is an indellible experience; it is forever known. I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did. Smith, P. Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27. ...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely. Osmond, H. Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436
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