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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
    #23910091 - 12/09/16 12:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Get outage town


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Invisiblenatedawgnow
Rocky mountain hood rat
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Registered: 02/09/15
Posts: 8,939
Loc: ation
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23910179 - 12/09/16 01:12 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

We live in a throwaway society. Don't want your food? Throw it away.
Don't want the responsibility of dealing with your parents in their
old age even though they dealt with your bullshit for 18+ years? Hell,
throw them away too.

I really don't want my mom to go to a home. She's too independent and stubborn to even if my siblings and I did,
and doesn't want to live with her kids. She's already 65 and I'm only
25, so the probability that I'll have enough money to afford the care
she needs by the time she needs it (which could be days to 15+ years, who
knows) isn't necessarily in my favor. My older sister could do it
(married, kids, husband with good job) but I don't know if she'd stick it
out when times got tough.

I'd like to make enough money to buy her a house or a condo close to my house which is
what she has always wanted, and just pay for outpatient care


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23910191 - 12/09/16 01:17 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.




What? No, it's actually more common in East Asia to keep your parents and house them in your own home, and for young adult children to care for them until they die.



To answer the question, I might put them in a home depending on their disability. If they are just old, then no I wouldn't. But if either one of them had Alzheimers or some debilitating kidney disease and needed 24-hour round the clock nursing care, then I would put them in a home. People with Alzheimers are dangerous, they frequently run away from the home forgetting who they are, or they accidentally set the house on fire.


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Invisibleohcrapitsnico
The Other One
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Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 2,720
Loc: Houston
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Crystal G]
    #23910212 - 12/09/16 01:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I used to have a healthcare job that had me in nursing homes half the time. After that experience I would never willingly send a parent to one of those places unless they had a disease that required professional care. People who work there are often overworked, really don't give a shit about the residents, and may out and out abuse or mistreat them. That is the norm.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Crystal G]
    #23910256 - 12/09/16 01:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.




What? No, it's actually more common in East Asia to keep your parents and house them in your own home, and for young adult children to care for them until they die.



To answer the question, I might put them in a home depending on their disability. If they are just old, then no I wouldn't. But if either one of them had Alzheimers or some debilitating kidney disease and needed 24-hour round the clock nursing care, then I would put them in a home. People with Alzheimers are dangerous, they frequently run away from the home forgetting who they are, or they accidentally set the house on fire.




Would it have been common for Japanese people of that generation to not have children then? I thought for sure I'd read/heard a couple times about there being no one to care for the elderly there.

Could have possibly been another 'large' asian country. I dunno I guess I should have refreshed myself on the topic before opening my big mouth.


But yeah watching my gpa take care of his mom Alzheimer's made me really "get" why some people genuinely can't take care of their family. I dunno how my grandpa did it. He really is tough as nails with a heart of gold kinda guy.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Offlineimachavel
I loved and lost but I loved-ftw
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Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 31,375
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Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: Crystal G]
    #23910267 - 12/09/16 01:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
So apparently East Asian and Russian cultures do this alot. They put their parents in homes and never visit them and its a huge problem because they don't have the same kind of assistance as us in the west do.




What? No, it's actually more common in East Asia to keep your parents and house them in your own home, and for young adult children to care for them until they die.



To answer the question, I might put them in a home depending on their disability. If they are just old, then no I wouldn't. But if either one of them had Alzheimers or some debilitating kidney disease and needed 24-hour round the clock nursing care, then I would put them in a home. People with Alzheimers are dangerous, they frequently run away from the home forgetting who they are, or they accidentally set the house on fire.




My grandfather almost burned down his nursing home. With a smoking pipe. No kidding.

He needs to be in that nursing home. I've never put a parent in a nursing home but I've put my dad in rehab twice and now I'm trying to get my mom to go.


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:kingcrankey: I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!

:facepalm: I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: imachavel]
    #23910285 - 12/09/16 01:46 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I tried to send my mom to the nut house, like they did with me, it didn't work out.

Wish she would have :ohwell: but at least trying to force her to go made her cut back on the boozing.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23910296 - 12/09/16 01:51 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Different tho. They come back from that. And usually come back as a better person, or perspective, or at least out of some destructive habit. Like 99% of elderly go to nursing homes and die there.


Tho my god mom has been in and out of nursing homes alot in the last 5 years or so. Usually after surgery or when she broke a hip or something. Tho she hasn't been in a long time. I think they gave up cuz she hates that shit and has a tongue that could spit fire. My grand dad has her in a spare room with an in home nurse coming every day since shes basically bed ridden and his back is bad.


Man. I don't ever want to get old.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween
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Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 20 days, 5 hours
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: ohcrapitsnico]
    #23910844 - 12/09/16 04:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ohcrapitsnico said:
I used to have a healthcare job that had me in nursing homes half the time. After that experience I would never willingly send a parent to one of those places unless they had a disease that required professional care. People who work there are often overworked, really don't give a shit about the residents, and may out and out abuse or mistreat them. That is the norm.



This,  my brother works in one of these.  People get a 10 min turn every 4 to 6 hours.  If they regularly mess themselves often they just leave them soiled until the next turn.  People don't even have the empathy to treat them like they are living.

My mom moved on with me 2 years ago.  No way she is going to be abandoned.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23910859 - 12/09/16 05:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Would it have been common for Japanese people of that generation to not have children then? I thought for sure I'd read/heard a couple times about there being no one to care for the elderly there.




Yes, that is true of Japan, and one of the reasons they say the nation is in crisis, is because people are not having children that often anymore. This means there are less taxpayers in the system to support social programs, particularly for the elderly as they begin outnumbering the youth.

Nowadays it is not uncommon for unwed children to continue living with their parents even as they reach middle-age into their 30's and 40's. They call them "single parasites" in Japan. :lol: My own aunts didn't move out of the house until they were in their 40's believe it or not, because in a lot of cultures you don't move out of the parents' house until you're married. (They never got married)

But these are the same kids that end up caring for their parents later on down the road, so I guess it all balances itself out in the end.


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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
Re: Would you put your parent(s) in a nursing home? [Re: shadyy]
    #23910893 - 12/09/16 05:14 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Like others have said, I don't think anyone wants to put their parents in a home, but with round the clock care it can be a necessity.

Really, the only reason I pursue a career and money, so mom has a good home and later on, I get a luxurious one.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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